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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (March 30, 1990)
Thursday, March 29, 1990 Jannine is a junior Business Management major form Dallas. Jannine enjoys dancing, swimming and playing the flute. fh >nt Sponsored by Campus Photo Swimsuit from Dillard's. Photo by Peter Rocha. Linde is a sophomore Industrial Distribution major from Houston. Linde enjoys soccer, diving and travel. Sponsored by Schlotsky's Swimsuit from Dillard's. Photo by Peter Rocha. . Thumbs Up Page 9 Sex From 8 don’t do ever and which you might do sometime but definitely not this week or year. Q. Foreplay, I’m sick of it! This guy I married must think I am like a space ship or something with dials. Twiddle this one, talk into that, beep, being, buzz, she has to be ready for sex. I know that for some marriages the big lack is no foreplay, just biff, bam, thankee ma’am, but some thought has to be given to my special problem. A. And you have to do the think ing, right? Before you express yourself on the problem to your husband, you have to sit down by yourself and think about what you do want and how he might do better by you and get you aroused in just the special way you like. You need to read, or maybe to reread, a good sex book. And you might try a couple of things to see if they work before you decide to see a sex therapist. It used to be said that men are sexually aroused through their eyes; wo men, through their ears. Love talk and soft whispering, they used to generalize, produces sexy female feelings while the male is more ex cited by lots of skin and parts of bodies not displayed in public. Nowadays it is more and more accepted that the paths to arousal are not clearly marked Male and Female. Guys like to be cooed over, women may let themselves get excited by a male eyeful. But would you, nevermind about trendiness, really like some vocal wooing from that dial-twirler of yours? I suggest that sometime you Initiate. That means, you start things — you make the suggestion, by things you do as well as say, that you want to have sex. You sit next to him on the couch, you start the low-key kissing and touching and talking, singing and cooing, and if he responds by going right into his Control Panel touching, you put his hand away in a way that says, “Not now.” Which is differ ent from saying, “Cut it out." And you continue to show him the kind of wooing you want by giving it to him. If he thinks that what you want is “twiddling,” then you teasingly push that hand away and show him the kind of touching you like. In my book “Dr. Ruth's Guide to Good Sex,” published by Warner Books, you will find a description of sensate focus exercises. This is a series of practice touchings, first practiced by one partner on the other, then roles are reversed and the toucher gets touched. The goal is not to “have sex” or to have an orgasm but to learn how to touch and please. It happens that some guys don’t realize that touching to arouse has to be done in a way the wo man likes — and there are also females who can be pretty mis guided or klutzy about touching. So the sensate focus exercise pro vides a way to learn what the other does like, and helps to over come feelings of awkwardness about what may be a whole new way of touching. Some guys still think that sen sual touching is feminine or effe minate; some women are still too tentative about stroking, feather- fingers, massaging. Having a set time for learning can quickly eli minate shyness about trying to please. Ruth Westheimer is a sex therapist. TANNED with VIP Gold TONED and ...on Stress-Free Plexus Unit LOOKING GOOD!!! with hairstylins by: n Karen Winters B * Ck ! Th0m P SOn Boutique Vita Resister SHAPERS HAIR 1673 Briarcrest 774 fieoaP^^lONS U589 Travis Landins H i: 5. U A v £ £ barbecue TOM'S BARBECUE Voted Best BBQ in Brazos Co. The Big Log Cabin Resturant ^ Proprietor - John Beltrand 3610 S. College BRYAN-COLIere * s AG Sp P S ®». TEXAS Served with br e 2| 01 ^ ^ Also Featur e onion & cheese Over M P „ lc * 0 us Steaks Cooked •^ & q T ,eWood! ' New York Strip i SS'- • Tom s T-Bone • Chicken * Aggie Spec ial ^Fried Shrimp • Chopped Si£ *. 'Vyou haven’t tried our’s, you haven ' t tried the ^ y Orders to go 846-4275 £ v y y '■/ y