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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (March 30, 1990)
Page 8 Thumbs Mp Thursday, March 29, 1990 Talk about safer sex, monogamy more than trying to scare people Selection by the Guitar Shop ... Head and Shoulders above the Crowd All at Unbeatable Prices Q. Admit it — your talk about safer sex and monogamy is meant to scare people out of adventur ous sex lives. A. No. When I say that sex with one trustworthy partner is safer than going around sharing sex with many partners, that is only factual information. I hope some body considers that this column is trustworthy information. That Dr. Ruth gives trustworthy infor mation. That accredited sex edu cators and sex therapists can be relied on for sound information. We don’t try to scare, because to prevent sexually transmissible diseases or unwanted pregnan cies, scare tactics don’t work. But information does. When I read In The New York Times that unwan ted teen-age pregnancies are down, and that new cases of AIDS among gay males are down, then I feel that my colleagues and I are justified and that we should be proud of our efforts. If you try to scare young people out of doing dangerous things, the ones most likely to take risks will only say, “Hah! They’re just trying to scare us because they don’t want us to drink, to do drugs, to have fun in cars or to have sex. They want to save all that for themselves.” But if you give youngsters reasonable in formation about behaving sensi bly and responsibly, a lot of them will listen and then act on what they have heard or read. Ruth Westheimer man. Oral sex and other kinds of fooling around are good for only so long. Maybe the man will be satis fied forever that way, the woman not for so long. I know whereof I speak. My husband is a totally impotent diabetic senior citizen and I am a somewhat younger nurse. After a while I asked him to get an im plant and he refused. I think a lot of people find this procedure too expensive, then they phone their travel agent and spend the same amount on a vacation. My hus band refused the implant and I found a boyfriend. tery into your mind. You say that men are satisfied with oral sex and other diversions but no wo man ever will be. However, I get letters from men who want inter course but their wives will agree only to the other forms of shared sex. So when you say women like this or that, you mean yourself. You don’t speak for all women. It is true that people will avoid costly procedures that might very well improve their year-round lives and spend the same money on other things. But if a man does not want an implant, it should not be forced on him. Many women with husbands in the same condi tion as yours have found ways to find sexual satisfaction within the bounds of marriage. Naturally, I know of the cases where the cou ple have sought help from sex therapists. Q. Say what you like, nothing replaces real sex — meaning in tercourse between man and wo- A. Now I could be wrong just about you, but when someone asks me, “Should I look for sexual satisfaction outside?" I do think that this questioner, male or fe male, has going outside very much in mind. And when you say you found a boyfriend, was that what you wanted, and you found an excuse? The person who finds excuses for adultery is like the one who says, “I’ll drink to that!” no matter what it is. Or the one who says his girlfriend reminds him of a martini — because what doesn’t? My guess is that a lot of other things besides your husband's sex problems put the idea of adul- Q. You have said that when one partner’s sexual appetite is lower than the other’s, the less in terested partner should accom modate the other without taking full part in the encounter — that is, should pleasure the other without trying for orgasm herself or himself, probably by means other than intercourse. But in this man's experience, women are usually unwilling to be helpful in this way. Of course many women are will ing to cooperate in this matter, and many who Eire not willing to day will be willing in the near fu ture, especially with more under standing of human sexuality gained by reading, consulting a sex therapist or, not unlikely, by seeing some sexy and romantic movie. Q. You have at different times advised women to do nothing sexually that repels them but to consider that their attitude may change at some time. Then they will feel all different about grant ing some sexual favor that has always made them want to barf and want a divorce and that they are sure is wrong in the sight of all that is holy. Does this variability apply to things like theft and murder? I mean, have we no rules we must stick by, or are we just quivering jellies with nerves and feelings? 1990 merchandise: has ALL FENDER MERCHANDISE NOW AT SPECIAL DISCOUNTED PRICES! We* carry: Gibson • Ovation • Washburn • Alvarez • Soundtech; DOD • Heritage • Rock Tek • Peavey • Fender A. Whether you are one or the other I leave to you. At no time have I, in my recollection, told anyone that obeying the Ten Commandments is just a passing thing, to be dumped when feelings change. And I have asserted as well an Eleventh, “Don’t do any thing sexually that you really don’t like." A. This is your experience, not the universal experience of men with women. By the way, I never said the less libidinous partner should pleasure the more libidin ous. I probably said that he or she could do so. If willing, of course. Carney’s Pub: Fun people, great music Carney’s Pub 3410 South College 823-1294 Hours:Sun.-Thurs. 3p.m. to 12a.m. and Fri.-Sat. 3p.m. to la.m. Owner:Joe Carney Manager: Greg Letsos CovenNone Specials: 115 different draft beers and imported beer from all over the world Activities:Shuffleboard - Tournaments Tuesday, nights at 7p.m., pool, darts, CD jukebox with classic rock and roll Owner Joe Carney said, “Carney’s is a great beer drinking atmosphere with fun people and great music.” Some actions in life are establi shed for us as really harmful and wrong and others are matters of mood. You have to know for your self that such a distinction exists, and to know which things you [Carnep'g jPub Nightly Specials Starting Tuesday, March 27th Shuffleboard Tournament Starting at 7:00p.m. Shiner Bock 75 c Happy Hour 3-7 Daily Classic Rock N'Roll 3410 S. College • Bryan • 823-1294 S Hi-ZEPHYR CLUJ m a i a woT-*>wr Woodstone Center 913-A Harvey Road THURSDAY NIGHT BLOWOUT! OPEN BAR 8-11 Anything You Want... ,<r Owner Joe Carney 'O' 0*0 04? v¥ OPEN 11 a.m. - 2 a.m. Everyday HAPPY HOUR 2 p.m. - 7 p.m. Monday - Friday Live Entertainment on Saturdays! 504 Harvey Road College Station, Texas SPORTS BAR AND RESTAURANT Ladies Night Every Thursday Night! 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