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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Oct. 2, 2000)
Monday, October!,® 'I ackei pday, October 2, 2000 P Page 11 THE BATTALION izes with iavc been restricted wlii the matter, le it is the policy of thisi to comment on the sped matters, it has never the policy or practiceofi "atholic Church tocoi >r promote violence in achieve a desired end,' it said. apolla, a parishioner, letimes spoke about al*hanica] College ot he would not have coiJr exas< hear my words From Solly’s view 2 Jniversity landmark expresses concerns with students and administrators a radical, don’t look for prieststei of thing." he said, ion providers usually or violence followincali S indents of the former Agricul tural and Me ed evcuts in the news,si ull j throws its rays upon our cami'uis to eek s appi o\ al ot Rl- va y. e us {• rom s | um her. S. 1 -ood and Drag Adf Bu , cach day seems he worse uan the >ne before. By noon on most days, I have ieen such sad circumstances that my jronze heart grows colder. Today's AMC is a bewilderment of trangeness and offense! 1 do declare 1 have never seen such pre- yosterous goings-on, and 1 will be much •elieved when a number of these activities are banished from our great campus. Today, my courtyard is clear. But. lo, mv view been besmirched said Vicki Saporta. eitet :tor of the National Alt ration aven ’ t received any spec but anytime abortion; ties we issue an alert tot take precautions becai le potential for increas ’ she said, rckford clinic is not oik; s 360 member ist kind of common sea ^ ow °^ en s w ould be on alert,’’ eers’ vsuit t popular TV series e\'( 'ybody knew your m ys like Norm theaco em? Did George Wen itified with their fictioi I any commercial use( our dear school is n peril. Peril. I say! Each lay. the sun lumbers iut of its celestial bed has by the rantings and ravings of wild-haired preacher-men. With words of fire and brimstone, they cheapen my noble courtyard as a crass pulpit. They speak of damnation and salvation with such fiery and direct words that one would relieve them to be the Messiah himself! They seem fit to boil over with fury and religiosity, but their condemnation of the students at AMC will not be tolerated so long as 1 stand here. The preacher-men, with their anger- tilled words and finger-pointing tenden- :ies, should rededicate themselves to pro- -vkling for their own salvation before they seek to condemn the souls of ray beloved Aggies. My superiors at the college's scheduling lepartment tell me my courtyard is to be a ‘Free Speech Area." but I say this: 1 did not suffer through Reconstruction to have my mday whether it will be; cs that question. If g on copyright law. tures’ decision to UctL_ place at this fune agricultural college be usurped by Bible-beating heathens. There is another woe that wrestles me, one that is worsened by the fact that my own students carry it out. Gentle men of AMC. 1 must be brief and direct end the foolish act of polishing my visage. When first designed by the estimable Monsieur Pompec, my bronze finish was intended to age gracefully into a beautiful brownish huie. But alas —- years of applying Brass-0 polish has made my coat grow dull and my hairline recede. What horror! 1 will not let my forehead be extended by anyone less than the Almighty himself. After al ! i, I am supposed to resemble the other noble gentlemen whose personages grace the majestic campus of AMC. Each day. General James Earl Rudder teases me about my overwhelming glare, and every night brags about his fine patina finish. So gentlemen of Aggieland. put down your polish for Lawrence Sullivan Ross! And whilst 1 speak of other statues, 1 would be remiss in my commentary if 1 did not pass on a certain complaint from one of my peers. E. King Gill, your 12th Man, says he is plumb tired of being moved about. Mr. Gill is a proud man, and he will no't much longer stand for having his personage transplanted all about this campus. Over the past few years alone, Mr. Gill was moved from behind what 1 hear called the "Horseshoe." to a small park across the thoroughfare, and now he resides once again behind a much enlarged version of the saiid "Horseshoe.” Please, gentlemen of AMC, decide on an appropriate place for the distinguished Mr. Gill, and leave him there in peace. Finally, I must relay to you another mal ady that has been cast upon me in my days i in front of the reconstructed Old Main. Whoever is responsible, please stop stealing the coins at my feet. At first, I was offended by this ges ture; I thought, "Do the gentlemen of AMC think 1 am a beggar? That I am to live off the charity of others?” Then, aftei; some thought and time, d realized that these donations were of fered to me out of respect for my hard work, and that with all these pennies, I could buy any number of fine goods and wares. 1 thought, "Perhaps 1 will purchase some comfortable linens or maybe even a new plow.” But just as soon as I began dreaming of what I could purchase with my accrued coins, some gentleman in all tan attire took my monies. Thief! Know you not that I was elected Gov ernor of our state of Texas on the presti gious Compromise Party’s ticket? I was fighting the Comanche when I was just a boy — do you think 1 will not come after you, thief? Gentlemen of AMC, I am sorry to bend your ear with such strifes and tribulations, but they must be said. Our dear college will show no progress if our issues are left unaddressed. So heed my words and for God’s and Lawrence Sullivan Ross’ sakes, think of them every time you pass my bold and no ble visage. , Gig ‘em and farmers fight! Lawrence Sullivan Ross is a former President of Texas A&M University. BRADLEY ATCHISON/The Battalion ” name at airports ac j biance and even feati Students’ Opinions OppOSllUg nesses being used on in off-campus bonfire debate idea, changing thect| / n response to Brandyn Martin’s Sept. 26 Mail Call. I Martin states that “if a majority of the student-led \s right of publicity organizations do not support an off-campus bonfire, dal exploitation. Tlieli'then neither does the majority of the student body, y using another person most lively.” The majority of Aggies are not in student-led or- ’, singer Tom Waits® ’anizations, so how can these students decide for ;es and preventedoseol ;he majority about views concerning an off-campus wnfire? It also seems The Battalion is running biased ar ticles supporting Texas A&M President Dr. Ray M. owen’s decision against Bonfire. In the past three weeks, there were three arti- ^es expressing views against having on off-campus Donfire. propose that The Battalion — in order to repre sent fair views that it claims to express — conduct a 1,000-person random survey of students. This would bring out the truth about the student Jody's position on an off-campus bonfire. Mail Call leeting n it! Brandon McGhee Class of‘00 In response to Tom Nowak’s Sept. 25 Mail Call Relax, Tom. There is no conspiracy against you jnd your “group.” do not agree with most of The Battalion’s view points, but this is one that I do agree with. Nowhere in the article did it say that we were to worship Bowen and his decision to take a break from lonfire for a couple of years, just to respect it. C It was not a decision he came to haphazardly, ilust like any other militant group, the Keep The Fire urning (KTFB) brigade has taken the issue way too Personally. As I recall, some of the parents of the stu dents who perished in last year’s debacle have denounced the existence of KTFB and have pleaded with the student body not to have a bon fire until the process can be re-evaluated by qual ified individuals. I do not see that as such a bad thing. I went to first cut my freshman year and never returned — not because I had no love for Bonfire, but because there were a thousand nimrods out in the woods with axes and chainsaws not paying any attention to what they were doing. If that is how it was handled when it was a Univer sity-sanctioned event, I would hate to see how it works when headed up by KTFB. Now, the off-campus bonfire will be a group of a thousand nimrods with axes and chainsaws. Already, this sounds like it is fast becoming sim ple revenge guised in the form'of a “memorial to the fallen Aggies.” Do you think the parents of those students know better than you whether or not their children would want to “keep the fire burning”? Wait, I guess you would know better. Steven Rasch Class of‘97 i/u e more me merrier Satirical look at justification of polygamy JlCl SHANNON GREENWOOD The Battalion encourages letters to the editor. Letters must be 300 words or less and include the author's name, class and phone number. The opinion editor reserves the right to edit letters for length, style and accuracy. Letters may be submitted in person at 014 Reed McDonald with a valid student ID. Letters may also be mailed to: The Battalion - Mail Call 014 Reed McDonald Texas A&M University 1111 TAMIl College Station, Texas 77843 Campus Mail: 1113. Fax: (979) 845-2647 E-mail: battletters@hotmail.com Columns and letters appearing in The Battalion express the opinion of the authors only. They do not necessarily reflect the opinion of other Bat talion staff members, the Texas A&M student body, regents, administra tors, faculty or staff. any people at tribute the ills of society to a decline in family values. One family-orient ed solution to this problem might be polygamy, in which one man has multiple wives. Clearly, polygamy could be the solu tion Americans are looking for. Of course, there are those who believe in romance, that each per son has one soulmate. These people will never be able to accept polygamy, but a girl who believes in Mr. Right might be able to accept it. Just because one guy is Mr. Right for one woman does not mean he is not Mr. Right for others. Why should only one woman get the best guy? Polygamy is for the studs — the best lovers with the most money. If one guy can satisfy five women, what is wrong with that? The women are happy and the guy is probably ecstatic. One might argue that polygamy is morally wrong. However, it is not considered wrong by Christian, Jewish or Muslim standards. The Bible does not condemn polygamy. According to Eugene Hillman’s Polygamy Reconsidered, “Nowhere in the New Testament is there any explicit commandment that marriage should be monoga mous or any explicit commandment forbidding polygamy.” In the Old Testament, King Solomon is said to have 700 wives (1 Kings 11:3). Also, King David is said to have many wives (2 Samuel 5:13). The Quran, too, allows polygamy — “If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two or three or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with them, then marry only one” (4:3). Why is polygamy taboo in West ern culture? A major factor is the Ro man influence on Western culture. Romans were opposed to polygamy. Hillman said the Roman Catholic Church banned polygamy to conform to the Greco-Roman culture. One might argue that polygamy is an anachronism and should not be practiced in modern times. However, many non-Western cultures cuirently practice polygamy. The only reason it is not prevalent is most men in those cultures do not have enough money to afford multiple wives. Raising a fami ly requires resources. Families de mand a lot of time, energy and money. LION Polygamy is for women who rank family as a high priority for getting married. A polygamist woman would have to share her husband with other women, but these women are friends — friends who live in the same home, whom she would bust to raise her own children. At a conference organized by the Utah chapter of the National Orga nization for Women, Elizabeth Joseph said, “As a journalist, I work many unpredictable hours in a fast- paced environment. Because of my plural marriage arrangement, I do not have to worry. I know that when I have to work late, my daughter will be at home surrounded by lov ing adults with whom she is com fortable and who know her sched ule without my telling them. My 8-year-old has never seen the inside of a day-care center.” A person might think that a polyg amist family might be male-oriented, but the above statement shows the contrary — women who choose a po lygamist lifestyle have a lot of free dom. In a household with mostly fe males, women are going to have a lot of control over what is going on. Why is it that women cannot share? If a great guy has a lot of money, only a selfish nymphomani ac would refuse to share him with several of her closest friends. Some women might not even be satisfied by one man. A solution for women like that is polyandry. Polyandry is the practice of one woman having multiple hus bands, which is not accepted by any major religions. It is only practiced in deso late places — like Ti bet — where the peo ple are so destitute that it would require several men’s resources to af ford a wife and family. The only major ar gument against polygamy, other than that it is different from current fa milial practices in Western culture, is jealousy. An ordinary guy would be jealous if some rich stud got all of the girls and got to keep them. It is sickening that Bill Gates is likely to have the most wives. Gates probably could afford hundreds, if not thousands, of wives. One can only hope that, if polygamy becomes ac ceptable, Gates will not be able to handle them all. Polygamy is a family-oriented lifestyle that could solve many soci etal problems attributed to a lack of family values. Polygamy is justified by reli gions and by the many happy peo ple who already enjoy a polyga mous lifestyle. This article is meant to be satirical, but there may be some people who agree with these arguments and de cide to live a polygamous lifestyle. They might be justified, but they definitely would be considered strange by their peers and neighbors. Shannon Greenwood is a senior computer engineering major.