Image provided by: Texas A&M University
About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 31, 1995)
Unique A&M t-shirts, caps and boxers Over 1000 posters in stock Hookf oh Fomuc «Hy Wurkf -Pev K«ee Yaga, Stussy, Mossimo Redsand t-shirts and caps Over 100 caps to choose from FLAVOUPZ Plastic frames If All sizes • All colors Post Oak Mall 764.4444 Page 18 • The Battalion Sports Bumper stickers need a '908 edge Thursday • August 31, David Winder Sportswriter W hile I was waiting at one of the infinite number of traffic lights on Texas Avenue, a sta tion wagon in the lane next to me caught my eye. The area from the top of the back wind shield to the bottom of the car was covered in bumper stickers. Some had been worn away, but the ones with intact messages were quite humorous. Every type of sticker from the dirty to the moronic to the weird was represented. But one sticker could fit only into the boring cat egory. Right there between “My kid can beat up your honor stu dent” and “My gun has killed one person less than Ted Kennedy,” was a sticker that simply said “Houston Astros.” This made me realize that most sports-related bumper stickers are about as funny as a Sylvester Stallone comedy. They contain no creativity, no clever puns and nonstop action (Wait, that’s Stallone movies only). Most sports stickers simply state the team’s name and maybe the year. If they are real ly clever, they say things like “Houston Rockets: Back-to-Back World Champions.” They may even use different colors if they want to get really zany. It is time for sports bumper stickers to move into the 1990s. Bumper stickers for Major League Baseball fans “Baseball: The game of unlim ited drug suspensions.” “Cal Ripken has now scratched himself in 1,123 straight games.” “Hey Bagwell, ever thought about dodging a pitch?” “Baseball: It might be boring, but it’s a fun kind of boring.” Bumper stickers for fans of the Houston Oilers “Who owns the worst rugs in Houston? The Astrodome and Bud Adams.” “Never thought I would miss Jerry Glanville.” “Latest Nashville hit song: My wife left me and the Oilers are moving to town.” Southwest Conference Football FLASHBACK 1916 Conference Champion: Texas 5-1 SWC record, 7-2 overall Texas A&M's finish: SWC: 2-1 (tied for third); 6-3 overall Player of the Year: Maxey Hart, split end, Texas Stat of the Year: In 10 games, Baylor allowed only 27 points. Game of the Year: Rice 146, SMU 3 Bumper stickers for PeterMiJ Neely fans “I thought he was fighting Ci. cely Tyson.” “He might be stupid, but at least he’s rich.” “What in the hell was I thini mg: “He’s like an Irish Rocky wb can’t box.” Bumper stickers for fans of the National Basketball Associa tion “Please don’t hit me, Mr. Maxwell.” “Remember kids, always weaj your hard hats when the Magic are shooting free throws." “Wow, I’ve never seen one of those pierced before, Mr. Rod- Bumper stickers for fans of the Dallas Cowboys. “Pepsi. The choice of a greedy owner.” “My money and my child’s college tuition both go toward season tickets.” “Hey Deion, you like movies! Three words. Shaft the Re venge.” “Tom, Jimmy and Barry. The stare, the hair and the prayer.' ,un Publ: ngi en lyd civi el Bvil e c c, n lab< dvil ich ad < it w The at we) ar< cohi d tl ct, c teas jbo. charac ents ai akes A Astros silence Braves. 2-0 I-< ATLANTA (AP) - Shane Reynolds allowed six hits over eight innings Wednesday night and the Houston Astros won their second straight game af ter losing a team-record 11, beating the Atlanta Braves 2-0, Reynolds (9-9) snappeda two-game losing streak, strik ing out five and walking two, Jeff Tabaka and Todd Jones worked the ninth with Jones getting the last out for his l3tli save. The Astros started the nigh: one-half game behind the Co! orado Rockies in the wild-can Ai (De Staged Up Nights So You Won't Have To. Keeping late hours? Cut through calculations and grasp concepts Texas faster. Easy-to-use features. Perfectly matched to your coursework. Instruments University Bookstores Three Off-Campus Locations to Serve You Northgate 846-4232 - Culpepper Plaza 693-9388 - Village 846-4818 ‘Your Source for Educationally Priced Software and Calculators” TI-82 A powerful, yet easy-to-use tool for drawing graphs, building tables, and performing data analysis. $QQ00 Bring Jason ’s Deli To The Jason’s deli Aggie Box Lunch $5 Stop by Jason’s before the game and get your Aggie Box Lunch filled with a sandwich, pickle, chips & cookie. 1404 Texas Avenue South • 764-2929 terent start wit ac es, Si Ss ible i “’eshm My so] hool w* l ^gh ti ^hen l °Ugh, ] ar-old ] ce. y € 6r . but id aze, £ jaoty Those 'ey? must ‘Pus r ■M, be< r ecen ^hbe i M-b 11 seen ° s e am, Ihey Tatisfi, Pow.s h toise ?here ^ sent >01 to Nwiti