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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Sept. 26, 1991)
ber 26, M Opinion Thursday, September 26, 1991 The Battalion Page 11 for more the A&M formation. taken ocated at lefore Yeli m. at the 7-0224 tor 8 p.m.at at Los M 370 for •wship). Call n sale at 1234 for jrs. Call rnal flame Call Clair ion. il assembly 45-9355 fa day at 3 Beutel /eryone is EDITORIAL Editorials expressed in The Battalion are those of the editorial board and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Texas A&M administrators, faculty or the Board of Regents. Corps commandant acts wisely The Battalion applauds the decision of Maj. Gen. Thomas Darling, Corps of Cadets commandant, to temporarily discontinue the Parsons' Mounted Cavalry. It is unfortunate the actions of a few cavalry members have tainted the reputation of this ceremonial outfit of the Corps, but we believe acts of intimidation and discrimination should be dealt with quickly and sternly. Corps officers could have viewed the reported assault of a female cadet as something that just happens in a military organization, and we are glad to see clear thinking, integrity and acute sensitivity prevail. Darling has taken a notable, albeit surprising, step to assure the campus community that justice will be served to the female cadet's at tackers. The Battalion hopes those heading the investigation into the in cident will do the same. The Battalion Editorial Board Prevent Congressmen rom abusing interns mation. b for fun Dehind the nation. :15 p.m.to Rohmat 013 Reel )ear Mr. Chairman: In the next few months, thousands If students nationwide will be apply ing to work as interns in the U.S. Congress. Most of them probably ling Ser- lave wanted to be Congres- lional interns since they were |2 years old, and most of them ill have a tremendous expe- lience. But too many of them re being set up for the disap- ointment of a lifetime. know this because in 1989 Iwas an intern in the office of tongressman Joe Barton. I was offered an unpaid posi tion and told I would be work- contactil -profit 3, first- ou have lesiredw with the Legislative Assis- Lnt for Agriculture and with lie effort to bring the George ush Presidential Library to exas A&M. I made arrange- lients with my dean to attend lommittee hearings and write 1 paper in order to receive aca- lemic credit. As a result of re- TV Clev«ng«r senior bioenvironmentai science major. 0 p.m. BJ ceiving academic credit I could in turn J let financial aid, which was vital since ■ was not being paid and my expenses Jwuld be about $2,000. What happened when I got to Washington, D.C., was far different rom what I was led to expect. I was Issigned a computer terminal where I vas to take the Congressman's mass nail-out surveys and punch the re- ults in one at a time by hand, Stop- Ring only to open the mail and run er rands. However, I found out the louse offered a service to statistically ample the returns for a nominal fee, thereupon I informed the Congress- nan. I was told that the reason we lunched in the data by hand was to insure we got the respondent's ad- Iress so we could in turn flood him or t ier with more mass mail-outs at tax- >ayer expense. Essentially my con- ;ressman, whom I had so admired for nal Bank)|i ds sermons on fiscal constraint, was J like all his colleagues) using taxpay- ps money to finance his own publici- ly campaign and forcing his interns to do it for him for free. I found that because I was not giv- n any time to do substantive work, I puld not be given credit for the in- lernship, and in turn I would not be el- igible for financial aid. I informed Bar on of this and (after a good "chewing out") he told me something would be forked out. Here was his solution: I would be leleased from the office one hour early lo work for the Republican National Committee phone bank until 11 p.m., I Would be given two hours per day to do academically substantive work, Ind I would be expected to come in on Weekends (still for no pay) to "catch up" on my "obligations." i I found another job in different Congressional office. I informed Bar- ion that I would be leaving to take an [internship elsewhere, at which time he piccused me of trying to undermine lim politically and informed me I had [three choices: 1. continue to work in his office. I 2. go back to Texas. I 3. try to take the other job, where- Ipon he would see to it that I did not let the other job and that I would nev er work in Washington, D.C., again. I 1 stayed in his office for a few more (days and then returned to Texas. I Upon my return to A&M, a num- iber of administrators were aware of What had happened to me as well as other interns on previous occasions, and an ad-hoc committee was estab lished to consider ways of better han dling internship opportunities for stu dents. Oddly enough. Congressman Barton's office found out about the committee and called up demanding we pro vide them with some "in terns" to work within the next few weeks (there must have been a lot of mass mail-outs to process). I am not crying or whining because I was mistreated, and I am not particularly worried about Congressman Barton keeping me out of Washing ton, D.C. If I were old enough 1 dare say I could beat Congressman Barton in his own Republican primary. Nor am 1 trying to "get even" with Congressman Barton. I discussed my concerns with him before leaving and was assured that changes in the intern pro gram would be made, and according to recent conversations with former Barton interns, things have improved somewhat. Instead, 1 am merely call ing upon the House of Representatives to prevent the opportunity of such sit uations arising again. According to the House of Repre sentatives Congressional Handbook, an intern is "an individual who is em ployed primarily for his/her educa tional experience." Doing grunt work is all part of being an intern, but punching in the answers to survey data all day is hardly educational. Fur thermore, committee.guidelines speci fy that interns must be participants in a program "operated by an entity not affiliated with a Congressional office," (Julian C. Dixon, Chairperson, Com mittee on Standards of Official Con duct, June 29,1990). I, for one, was participating in no such program. The reason for these rules is obvi ous — to protect the interns. It is easy for members of Congress to delude students by telling them how privi leged they are to even get to serve for free in his/her office, and by promis ing them that all-important letter of recommendation. Many students are satisfied with this, but nonetheless others leave the Capitol feeling cyni cal, used and disillusioned. Some very simple steps could be taken to address these problems. In terns should be provided a detailed job description in advance outlining what is expected of them and what they should expect of those for whom they work. An ad-hoc committee of members and former interns could also be estab lished to advise and oversee intern ship programs to verify that such pro grams are in compliance with House rules. Finally, current House rules should be enforced. Now. 1 realize that in view of all the is sues faced by a member of Congress this may seem like a small matter. However, I think it is unfortunate that many of those who may succeed you someday are coming to your col leagues as idealists and leaving as cyn ics. Editor's note: This letter was sent to Julian C. Dixon, Chairman, House of Rep resentatives Committee on Standards of Official Conduct. Dayis-Garv, The Olde Years by Bingo Barnes XIU'i t li i il»un n i n i«' TTrf iTurrTTi- i ft yrn riTrr«t rvn-i-i niiimi hum. DoRK 1 TP 1C A L CONVERSATION » ANoRexui -JUST FINISHED TWOYFARS \m the corps* /vpreRFE&e- 6 l NO IN ASAJUMiaR * HATED -BYFEU-CW C A O in THeCDRPf » HASN'T BBeFA LAtP SIAICBtXE first TIAM5 HE6oTumc> jtTlIlllllllllllllllllllITTTifniiimiiii l WAS A HE VS^AS A SEMtOR, 0|_iT HE WAS S.'TnL J L^ A SCM/V^LJC~iA. > mi] A N D> /vNV RC>0/y\/vVAT~ TT . pc> SOAA EE PUSHUPS, ‘l- 1 fcrAT A'Viurm'' shorts, oork' , MllilUIMlilld Men appreciate women who burp Dare to express yourself T his one goes out to the ladies. Okay people, big issues in these trying times and days - AIDS, national health care, medicaid, Murphy Brown's pregnancy and those life-call things that our el derly Americans insist on wearing even when they're out of the home. In light of these great and pon derous matters, we lose sight of those day to day ailments that cause us unlimited trauma and dismay. I'm talking about gas. And I don't mean what you get at the local Exxon Polluterville. I'm talking high octane, high lead, high qual ity emissions — things that make you go Bbr- rraaacccckk! Those of you in the reading audience who just squealed and wrinkled up your noses are exactly the people I'm talking to, so pay atten tion. Burping is good. And besides that, it's a nat ural function — unless you're a seagull But this isn't an animal rights column. Nevertheless burping is good. I do it all the time. Everyone does it — we know you do, even though you try to hide it. Arid that is what's wrong with the American culture. Don't hide it: pride it. Take pride in your gastrointestinal func tions. They are a source of endless amusement and cre ative expression. And they're free! But lots of women refuse to take part in this primal motif of gut-level communication, and many women mock and abuse those of us who do. They primp and priss, look down their noses, wrinkle them up and say, "eewwww!" Ihey cower behind the billow ing skirts of Emily Post, clench their copies of Amy Vanderbilt's Book of Modem Etiquette to their breasts and rant about the rude ness of such base expression. However, due to the advent of the great case of American consti- — pation (a.k.a. the 80s) and the adverse effects of eating McDonald's all the time, we have embraced the concept of fiber therapy. The natural outgrowth of this new anal retentiveness is gas. Just let'er rip. Throw manners to the wind and be proud of your bowels. Ladies, please! We live in a quickly spinning world of rapidly changing ideas and ideals. The time to be self- conscious of our bodies is past. Remember The Feminine Mystique? We should be proud of who we are and what we do. The annals of eti quette which prohibit the expression of one's sublime Feducia is a junior English and history major. "Don’t hide it: pride it. Take pride in your gastrointestinal functions. They are a source of endless amusement and creative expression And they’re free!" satisfaction with the digestive process no longer apply in an age which enshrines the virtues of Metamucil. And besides that, look at the society in which we live. Look at where we go to school. Look at what we eat. All good Ags are well aware of the much publicized fact that Texas A&M consumes more pizza and more beer than any other university in the country! And the only natural outgrowth of this gastronomical fact is gas! Beer makes you burp. Pepperoni makes me burp — hell, just about anything on the food chain makes me burp — AND I'M PROUD OF IT! You should be, too. We, as a gender-species, should not be afraid to express our femininity through our bodily functions! In addition, guys don't mind. Those of you who fear the impending downfall of your social lives by coming out of the closet need not fret. Your bodily functions have been colonized for far too long by men who frown at burping. The masses of good, marriageable, burping men out there who respect — no, admire — nay, WORSHIP women who burp are many, and they are hungry for women to burp with them. After all, "The way to a man's heart is through his belly." Why do you think they say that? Because a good number of men like women who burp. That's why. "1 think women have come a long way. Lots of wom en burp and I think it's cool," said Fred Broussard, '91. "But 1 think they have a long way to go before they fart in public." His roommate, Chris Cottingame, '91, con curred: "Women who burp are cool." Gastrointestinal functions — natural functions — also con tribute to healthy relationships. "We fart around the house all the time, and she does it, too," said John Glowka, commenting on his fiance', Candice Wright, '94. And she doesn't mind? "Well if she did, it'd be an extreme inconvenience for me to go outside every time," Glowka said. "I think it says a lot about our relationship though. 1 think it says we're comfortable around each other. Another great relation ship founded on good gastrointestinal habits. So ladies, now is the time. It is time for us to band to gether and assert our femininity and healthful conscious nesses and establish a new air of communication and ex pression in these anal retentive times. You'll do it and you'll like it, and by gum, you'll thank me for it. BBB- BUUUURRRRPPPPPIU You heard it here first. Mail Call Correction The Battalion incorrectly stated in an opinion column Tuesday that OPAS season tick ets were sold out. OPAS season tickets and tickets for individual shows are still available. The Battalion re- the error. Wait for facts to come out ❖ I would like to take this op portunity to congratulate Carrie Cavalier for joining the bandwagon of Corps bashers. In one swift action she has con demned the Corps, the University, the Constitution of the Unit ed States, the Bill of Rights and the Right to Privacy Act of 1974. Once again, con gratulations. I agree that this is a trag ic piece of A&M history and this type of behavior is in tolerable. However, before Cava lier makes grandiose claims (and complaints), she should read the very paper for whom she writes. If she had read The Battalion, Cavalier would know there is an in vestigation "at the highest levels of the Univers-ity" going on at this time, the Commandant's office and the University Police Department. Also, Cavalier seems to lack knowledge of the subtleties of inves tigations in our present legal envi ronment. She seems to advocate the inves tigation be carried on in the view of the entire public so that the time honored "tradition" of a lynch mob can be reinstated. Cavalier uses conjecture to assert the cadet and the Corps are trying to hide this incident. However, in or der for all of the facts to come out, the investigation must be kept se cluded until a final report is issued. The Corps does not wish to give itself a bigger "black eye" by perpet uating the questions surrounding this incident. Cavalier writes of the tragedy in- Hove an opinion? Express ill The Battalion is interested in hearing from its readers. Ail letters to the editor are welcome. Written letters must be signed and include classification, address and daytime phone number for verification purposes. Anonymous letters will not be published. The Battalion reserves the right to edit alt letters for length, style and accuracy. There is no guarantee letters will appear. Letters may be brought to 013 Reed McDonald, sent to Campus Mail Stop 1111 or can be faxed to 845-5408. flicted upon the cadet by her attack ers being perpetuated by the Corps, claiming this is the sole reason for the cadet's silence. However, Cavalier fails to think of the fact that the constant calls of reporters is a continuing intrusion on the cadet's right to privacy. Who is really continuing the abuse? The thrust of Cavalier's writing seems to be her frustration with the fact that The Battalion cannot get anymore information with which to make more complaints. I would like to ask that she, and the rest of us as well, simply take a wait-and-see attitude towards the investigation. All one has to do is read the pa pers to see what the premature re lease of pieces of information about an ongoing investigation can do to the carriage of justice. Oliver North's sentence was dropped in part because of the premature re lease of information. Once again, I would like to wish congratulations to Cavalier for her ability to denigrate the very founda tions of our society. I'm sure if she sent an application away today, she could have her Communist Party of the United States card in from New York by Thanksgiving Day. Paul Linseisen '91