ber 26, M
Opinion
Thursday, September 26, 1991
The Battalion
Page 11
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EDITORIAL
Editorials expressed in The Battalion are those of the editorial board and do not
necessarily represent the opinions of Texas A&M administrators, faculty or the Board of
Regents.
Corps commandant acts wisely
The Battalion applauds the decision of Maj. Gen. Thomas Darling,
Corps of Cadets commandant, to temporarily discontinue the Parsons'
Mounted Cavalry.
It is unfortunate the actions of a few cavalry members have tainted
the reputation of this ceremonial outfit of the Corps, but we believe
acts of intimidation and discrimination should be dealt with quickly
and sternly.
Corps officers could have viewed the reported assault of a female
cadet as something that just happens in a military organization, and we
are glad to see clear thinking, integrity and acute sensitivity prevail.
Darling has taken a notable, albeit surprising, step to assure the
campus community that justice will be served to the female cadet's at
tackers. The Battalion hopes those heading the investigation into the in
cident will do the same.
The Battalion Editorial Board
Prevent Congressmen
rom abusing interns
mation.
b for fun
Dehind the
nation.
:15 p.m.to
Rohmat
013 Reel
)ear Mr. Chairman:
In the next few months, thousands
If students nationwide will be apply
ing to work as interns in the U.S.
Congress. Most of them probably
ling Ser- lave wanted to be Congres-
lional interns since they were
|2 years old, and most of them
ill have a tremendous expe-
lience. But too many of them
re being set up for the disap-
ointment of a lifetime.
know this because in 1989
Iwas an intern in the office of
tongressman Joe Barton. I
was offered an unpaid posi
tion and told I would be work-
contactil
-profit
3, first-
ou have
lesiredw with the Legislative Assis-
Lnt for Agriculture and with
lie effort to bring the George
ush Presidential Library to
exas A&M. I made arrange-
lients with my dean to attend
lommittee hearings and write
1 paper in order to receive aca-
lemic credit. As a result of re-
TV
Clev«ng«r
senior
bioenvironmentai
science major.
0 p.m.
BJ ceiving academic credit I could in turn
J let financial aid, which was vital since
■ was not being paid and my expenses
Jwuld be about $2,000.
What happened when I got to
Washington, D.C., was far different
rom what I was led to expect. I was
Issigned a computer terminal where I
vas to take the Congressman's mass
nail-out surveys and punch the re-
ults in one at a time by hand, Stop-
Ring only to open the mail and run er
rands. However, I found out the
louse offered a service to statistically
ample the returns for a nominal fee,
thereupon I informed the Congress-
nan. I was told that the reason we
lunched in the data by hand was to
insure we got the respondent's ad-
Iress so we could in turn flood him or
t ier with more mass mail-outs at tax-
>ayer expense. Essentially my con-
;ressman, whom I had so admired for
nal Bank)|i ds sermons on fiscal constraint, was
J like all his colleagues) using taxpay-
ps money to finance his own publici-
ly campaign and forcing his interns to
do it for him for free.
I found that because I was not giv-
n any time to do substantive work, I
puld not be given credit for the in-
lernship, and in turn I would not be el-
igible for financial aid. I informed Bar
on of this and (after a good "chewing
out") he told me something would be
forked out.
Here was his solution: I would be
leleased from the office one hour early
lo work for the Republican National
Committee phone bank until 11 p.m., I
Would be given two hours per day to
do academically substantive work,
Ind I would be expected to come in on
Weekends (still for no pay) to "catch
up" on my "obligations."
i I found another job in different
Congressional office. I informed Bar-
ion that I would be leaving to take an
[internship elsewhere, at which time he
piccused me of trying to undermine
lim politically and informed me I had
[three choices:
1. continue to work in his office.
I 2. go back to Texas.
I 3. try to take the other job, where-
Ipon he would see to it that I did not
let the other job and that I would nev
er work in Washington, D.C., again.
I 1 stayed in his office for a few more
(days and then returned to Texas.
I Upon my return to A&M, a num-
iber of administrators were aware of
What had happened to me as well as
other interns on previous occasions,
and an ad-hoc committee was estab
lished to consider ways of better han
dling internship opportunities for stu
dents. Oddly enough. Congressman
Barton's office found out
about the committee and
called up demanding we pro
vide them with some "in
terns" to work within the next
few weeks (there must have
been a lot of mass mail-outs
to process).
I am not crying or whining
because I was mistreated, and
I am not particularly worried
about Congressman Barton
keeping me out of Washing
ton, D.C. If I were old
enough 1 dare say I could beat
Congressman Barton in his
own Republican primary.
Nor am 1 trying to "get even"
with Congressman Barton. I
discussed my concerns with
him before leaving and was
assured that changes in the intern pro
gram would be made, and according
to recent conversations with former
Barton interns, things have improved
somewhat. Instead, 1 am merely call
ing upon the House of Representatives
to prevent the opportunity of such sit
uations arising again.
According to the House of Repre
sentatives Congressional Handbook, an
intern is "an individual who is em
ployed primarily for his/her educa
tional experience." Doing grunt work
is all part of being an intern, but
punching in the answers to survey
data all day is hardly educational. Fur
thermore, committee.guidelines speci
fy that interns must be participants in
a program "operated by an entity not
affiliated with a Congressional office,"
(Julian C. Dixon, Chairperson, Com
mittee on Standards of Official Con
duct, June 29,1990). I, for one, was
participating in no such program.
The reason for these rules is obvi
ous — to protect the interns. It is easy
for members of Congress to delude
students by telling them how privi
leged they are to even get to serve for
free in his/her office, and by promis
ing them that all-important letter of
recommendation. Many students are
satisfied with this, but nonetheless
others leave the Capitol feeling cyni
cal, used and disillusioned.
Some very simple steps could be
taken to address these problems. In
terns should be provided a detailed
job description in advance outlining
what is expected of them and what
they should expect of those for whom
they work.
An ad-hoc committee of members
and former interns could also be estab
lished to advise and oversee intern
ship programs to verify that such pro
grams are in compliance with House
rules.
Finally, current House rules should
be enforced. Now.
1 realize that in view of all the is
sues faced by a member of Congress
this may seem like a small matter.
However, I think it is unfortunate that
many of those who may succeed you
someday are coming to your col
leagues as idealists and leaving as cyn
ics.
Editor's note: This letter was sent to
Julian C. Dixon, Chairman, House of Rep
resentatives Committee on Standards of
Official Conduct.
Dayis-Garv, The Olde Years by Bingo Barnes
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Men appreciate women who burp
Dare to express yourself
T his one goes out to the ladies. Okay people, big
issues in these trying times and days - AIDS,
national health care, medicaid, Murphy
Brown's pregnancy and those life-call things that our el
derly Americans insist on wearing even when they're
out of the home. In light of these great and pon
derous matters, we lose sight of those day to
day ailments that cause us unlimited trauma
and dismay.
I'm talking about gas. And I don't mean
what you get at the local Exxon Polluterville.
I'm talking high octane, high lead, high qual
ity emissions — things that make you go Bbr-
rraaacccckk!
Those of you in the reading audience who
just squealed and wrinkled up your noses are
exactly the people I'm talking to, so pay atten
tion.
Burping is good. And besides that, it's a nat
ural function — unless you're a seagull But this
isn't an animal rights column.
Nevertheless burping is good. I do it all the
time. Everyone does it — we know you do,
even though you try to hide it. Arid that is
what's wrong with the American culture. Don't
hide it: pride it. Take pride in your gastrointestinal func
tions. They are a source of endless amusement and cre
ative expression. And they're free!
But lots of women refuse to take part in this primal
motif of gut-level communication, and many women
mock and abuse those of us who do. They primp and
priss, look down their noses, wrinkle them up and say,
"eewwww!"
Ihey cower behind the billow
ing skirts of Emily Post, clench
their copies of Amy Vanderbilt's
Book of Modem Etiquette to their
breasts and rant about the rude
ness of such base expression.
However, due to the advent of
the great case of American consti- —
pation (a.k.a. the 80s) and the adverse effects of eating
McDonald's all the time, we have embraced the concept
of fiber therapy. The natural outgrowth of this new anal
retentiveness is gas. Just let'er rip. Throw manners to
the wind and be proud of your bowels.
Ladies, please! We live in a quickly spinning world of
rapidly changing ideas and ideals. The time to be self-
conscious of our bodies is past.
Remember The Feminine Mystique? We should be
proud of who we are and what we do. The annals of eti
quette which prohibit the expression of one's sublime
Feducia is a
junior English
and history
major.
"Don’t hide it: pride it. Take pride
in your gastrointestinal functions.
They are a source of endless
amusement and creative expression
And they’re free!"
satisfaction with the digestive process no longer apply in
an age which enshrines the virtues of Metamucil.
And besides that, look at the society in which we live.
Look at where we go to school. Look at what we eat. All
good Ags are well aware of the much publicized fact that
Texas A&M consumes more pizza and more beer
than any other university in the country! And
the only natural outgrowth of this gastronomical
fact is gas! Beer makes you burp. Pepperoni
makes me burp — hell, just about anything on
the food chain makes me burp — AND I'M
PROUD OF IT! You should be, too.
We, as a gender-species, should not be afraid
to express our femininity through our bodily
functions! In addition, guys don't mind. Those
of you who fear the impending downfall of your
social lives by coming out of the closet need not
fret. Your bodily functions have been colonized
for far too long by men who frown at burping.
The masses of good, marriageable, burping
men out there who respect — no, admire — nay,
WORSHIP women who burp are many, and they
are hungry for women to burp with them.
After all, "The way to a man's heart is
through his belly." Why do you think they say
that? Because a good number of men like women who
burp. That's why.
"1 think women have come a long way. Lots of wom
en burp and I think it's cool," said Fred Broussard, '91.
"But 1 think they have a long way to go before they fart
in public." His roommate, Chris Cottingame, '91, con
curred: "Women who burp are cool."
Gastrointestinal functions —
natural functions — also con
tribute to healthy relationships.
"We fart around the house all
the time, and she does it, too,"
said John Glowka, commenting
on his fiance', Candice Wright,
'94.
And she doesn't mind?
"Well if she did, it'd be an extreme inconvenience for me
to go outside every time," Glowka said. "I think it says a
lot about our relationship though. 1 think it says we're
comfortable around each other. Another great relation
ship founded on good gastrointestinal habits.
So ladies, now is the time. It is time for us to band to
gether and assert our femininity and healthful conscious
nesses and establish a new air of communication and ex
pression in these anal retentive times. You'll do it and
you'll like it, and by gum, you'll thank me for it. BBB-
BUUUURRRRPPPPPIU You heard it here first.
Mail Call
Correction
The Battalion incorrectly
stated in an opinion column
Tuesday that OPAS season tick
ets were sold out.
OPAS season tickets and
tickets for individual shows are
still available. The Battalion re-
the error.
Wait for facts
to come out
❖ I would like to take this op
portunity to congratulate Carrie
Cavalier for joining the bandwagon
of Corps bashers.
In one swift action she has con
demned the Corps, the University,
the Constitution of the Unit
ed States, the Bill of Rights
and the Right to Privacy Act
of 1974. Once again, con
gratulations.
I agree that this is a trag
ic piece of A&M history and
this type of behavior is in
tolerable.
However, before Cava
lier makes grandiose claims
(and complaints), she
should read the very paper
for whom she writes.
If she had read The Battalion,
Cavalier would know there is an in
vestigation "at the highest levels of
the Univers-ity" going on at this
time, the Commandant's office and
the University Police Department.
Also, Cavalier seems to lack
knowledge of the subtleties of inves
tigations in our present legal envi
ronment.
She seems to advocate the inves
tigation be carried on in the view of
the entire public so that the time
honored "tradition" of a lynch mob
can be reinstated.
Cavalier uses conjecture to assert
the cadet and the Corps are trying to
hide this incident. However, in or
der for all of the facts to come out,
the investigation must be kept se
cluded until a final report is issued.
The Corps does not wish to give
itself a bigger "black eye" by perpet
uating the questions surrounding
this incident.
Cavalier writes of the tragedy in-
Hove an opinion? Express ill
The Battalion is interested in hearing from its readers.
Ail letters to the editor are welcome. Written letters
must be signed and include classification, address and
daytime phone number for verification purposes.
Anonymous letters will not be published.
The Battalion reserves the right to edit alt letters for
length, style and accuracy. There is no guarantee letters
will appear.
Letters may be brought to 013 Reed McDonald, sent to
Campus Mail Stop 1111 or can be faxed to 845-5408.
flicted upon the cadet by her attack
ers being perpetuated by the Corps,
claiming this is the sole reason for
the cadet's silence.
However, Cavalier fails to think
of the fact that the constant calls of
reporters is a continuing intrusion
on the cadet's right to privacy. Who
is really continuing the abuse?
The thrust of Cavalier's writing
seems to be her frustration with the
fact that The Battalion cannot get
anymore information with which to
make more complaints.
I would like to ask that she, and
the rest of us as well, simply take a
wait-and-see attitude towards the
investigation.
All one has to do is read the pa
pers to see what the premature re
lease of pieces of information about
an ongoing investigation can do to
the carriage of justice. Oliver
North's sentence was dropped in
part because of the premature re
lease of information.
Once again, I would like
to wish congratulations to
Cavalier for her ability to
denigrate the very founda
tions of our society.
I'm sure if she sent an
application away today, she
could have her Communist
Party of the United States
card in from New York by
Thanksgiving Day.
Paul Linseisen '91