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Page 2/The Battalion/Monday, February 8, 1988 Opinion The impeachment of Gov. Mecham is not prettyi Impeachment is not pretty. Ask Arizona Gov. Evan Mecham, he’ll tell you. You see, last Friday poor old Evan was impeached by the Arizona House. What an ugly, ugly business. But then again, what an ugly, ugly man. Mark Nair You may remember that it was Evan who abolished the Arizona state holiday honoring Martin Luther King, Jr. It was Evan who had a strange habit of making crude, insulting, offensive remarks about various ethnic groups. It was Evan who usually ended up chewing on both of his feet for these remarks. All in all, my friend Evan Mecham made Archie Bunker look like Snow White in a nunnery. (Actually, I’m fully convinced that Evan Mecham and James Watt are the same person, al though it could be true that they are fra ternal twins, separated at birth by a vi cious civil rights incident that left them both scarred and stunned for life. I wonder if Evan likes the Beach Boys?) But the Arizona House didn’t im peach Efficacious Evan on these triviali ties. No, sir, they had charges made of much sterner stuff: concealing cam paign loans, using state funds for his auto dealership, attempting to block an investigation of a death threat — or as the House resolution impeaching Eva sive Evan said, “high crimes, misdemea nors or malfeasance in office.” Gosh golly, that is what politics is all about. Anyway, some of the buds and I were sitting around chugging down cherry Slurpies yesterday, and we decided to hold a somewhat intelligent conversa tion about our pal Emetic Evan and his future in the worldly world of voter reg istration. How we arrived at this topic of conversation is still a mystery. Despera tion in conversation can do strange things to people. “String him up by his nose,” said Fred, “that’s what I say.” “What do you think about Mecham’s impeachment, Loyd?” I asked Loyd. Loyd was unusually quiet. Loyd took a bite of his Super Chili Cheese Dog. “Well, I’ll tell you,” he said. “I’d rather be impeached than impai red.” We all laughed in a friendly, joyous manner, guffawing at timely intervals. “What?” asked Phil. “Mecham in trouble?” “Impeached,” I said. “Impeached by the Arizona House.” “Well,” said Phil, “I don’t think they should impeach Mecham. I mean, that book of his, Texas, wasn’t all that excit ing, but they shouldn’t impeach him just for that.” “What?” I asked. “What?” “String him up by his nose,” said Fred. “Mecham, let’s impeach ’im,” said Loyd. That Loyd, what a card. “So,” said Phil, “this Mecham guy, is he kicked out of office now?” Since 1 was the resident political ad viser, fortuneteller, and epicure of cur rent events, I was obliged to answer. “Not yet,” I said, “at least, not perma nently. Now this business goes to the Arizona Senate. They’ll have a trial, and if the Senate convicts him, he’s out of here. Gone. Poof. Dislodged. Kicked out. Removed from that high office.” “Right,” said Fred. “I think we got the message.” But I was on a roll. “And then, and then,” I waved my arms wildly in the air, hitting the wall with a violent yet caring blow, “if nothing happens in the Senate, in May the voters will hold a recall elec tion. He’s gone. Any way you look at it. he’s gone.” “String him up by his toes,” said Fred. We began to utter a rousing chant of “Impeach, impeach, impeach.” The neighborhood urchins, who were busily engaged in a friendly game of “Rambo 1 Kill You” tu rued and began to i with small handfuls of sediment.| our chant continued. We wererej We were going to change the world We got to im apartment, turnti the TV and there he was, Mechanttl his bigoted glorv, talking aboutho» Senate would “vindicate him.' changed the channel. “Gilligan'sislil was on; it was one of the lost episodj^ And yet, the trials and Evan Mecham remain. I lie is liis out of office, there will be notori hole in our hearts for this ugly also a hole in the Arizona governor: flee. Who could live up to thismanj his charm, his subtle critiques of till man situation? Jimmy “the Greek" forgoverr ■s slat foi four |He v\ Mark Nair is a senior political sc ity 1 Y e major and opinion page editorhi Bond Battalion. 10 million isn’t enough ■mts ts IT, jesse? “What would you do,” asked Slats Grobnik, “if you had 10 million bucks?” I would put it into conservative tax-free municipal bonds that would earn me about $700,000 a year. I would move to a warm climate, buy Mike Royko myself an air-conditioned golf cart with a built-in bar and never again set foot in this saloon or engage in foolish con- verstaions with you. Why do you ask? “Well, I was just reading about this old politician in Texas, John Gonally. Used to be governor. Ran for presi dent.” guns. There are underprivileged stickup guys in this city who have only one gun. Here’s a guy who had 41 heat ers and he wasn’t even heisting gas sta tions for a living.” I see your point. But you have to un derstand that in the social and business circles Gonally traveled in, $ 10 million might be considered a mere trifle. “Then he could have faked it. That’s what I do. Before I have a party, I get a bartender pal to give me empty bottles with the best labels, and I fill ’em with the cheap stuff, but nobody can tell the difference.” I don’t think that would have saved Gonally from bankruptcy. We’re talking about millions of dollars in unpaid bank loans. Ah yes, he has fallen upon hard times. Took a terrible beating when the Texas real estate market slumped. Most of his worldly possessions sold at public auction. “Right, and it says in this story that he had tears in his eyes. And that the peo ple who came to buy his stuff gave him a big cheer when he walked in.” It did take courage for him to be pre sent when his furniture, art collection and personal memorabilia were being sold. “Yeah, I wondered about that, too. How’d he get those bankers to let him have so much money? When I went to get a mortgage to buy a house, they al most stripped me down to my shorts. When I went for a loan to get my roof repaired, I almost had to leave my kids as collateral. So how does he get, what, a couple hunnert million? I didn’t know they could type that many numbers on a check.” Because he’s a man of reputation and substance. “I dunno. Me and my old man and my mother and my brother Fats was present once when the landlord evicted us. Put our living room sofa right out on the sidewalk next to the fireplug. All the neighbors was looking, but none of them said my old man was courageous for being there. Of course, he wouldn’t have heard ’em anyway. He was soused and sleeping it off on the sofa.” What does that have to do with John Gonally or your question about the $10 million? “Because it says here the reason Con- ally went broke was because he wanted to get rich. And that’s why he and an other guy borrowed hunnerts of mil lions from banks to put together all these big real estate deals that flopped.” That’s painfully true. “Then the guy must have been goo fy.” How can you say that? Becoming rich is part of the American dream. “Yeah, but it says here that before he jumped into all those deals, he was mak ing big money as a Texas lawyer and that he was already worth 10 million bucks.” “What does that mean? I been in the same job for 35 years and I never missed a payment at the credit union and I never bounced a check because I always pay by money order or cash. How come banks give me the old fish- eye and him all the millions he wants?” It means banks have confidence in prominent people of considerable means and proven business judgment. “Hah, so they have confidence in him and he sticks ’em for more than a hun dred million they’ll never see again. Then they got to jack up the mortgage rates on guys like me to cover what they blew because he gave them the old glad hand.” So? “So this. If he was already worth 10 million, didn’t that make him rich?” By your standards or mine, yes. But such things are relative. “Relative? It says here that they auc tioned off his gun collection. He had 41 Nobody has infallible judgment. “I guess so. But I see that even though he owes all that money and can’t ever pay it back, he gets to keep his big house and 200 acres of his ranch. And he gets about 60 thou a year in pensions because he was the governor and he can still practice law and make money.” Yes, it’s quite a step down for him, but he says that he’s going to keep his chin up and start a new life. “Put me in a big house on 200 acres with 60 grand a year, and I’ll keep my chin up and start a new life, too.” Sometimes you lack compassion. “Nah, if Gonally came by tonight, I’d pour him a drink. Hey, you think he can tell the difference between Jack Daniels and Jim Beam?” Copyright 1987, Tribune Media Services, Inc. The Battalion (USPS 045 360) Member of. Texas Press Association Southwest Journalism Conference The Battalion Editorial Board Sue Krenek, Editor Daniel A. LaBry, Managing Editor Mark Nair, Opinion Page Editor Amy Couvillon, City Editor Robbyn L. Lister and Becky Weisenfels, News Editors Loyd Brumfield, Sports Editor Sam B. Myers, Photo Editor Editorial Policy The Battalion is a non-profit, self-supporting newspa per operated as a community service to Texas A&M and Bryan-College Station. Opinions expressed in The Battalion are those of the editorial board or the author, and do not necessarily rep resent the opinions of Texas A&M administrators, fac ulty or the Board of Regents. The Battalion also serves as a laboratory newspaper for students in reporting, editing and photography classes within the Department of Journalism. The Battalion is published Monday through Friday during Texas A&M regular semesters, except for holiday and examination periods. Mail subscriptions are $17.44 per semester, $34.62 per school year and $36.44 per full year. Advertising rates furnished on request. Our address: The Battalion, 230 Reed McDonald, Texas A&M University, College Station, TX 77843-1 111. Second class postage paid at College Station. TX 77843. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to The Battal ion, 216 Reed McDonald, Texas A&M University, Col lege Station TX 77843-4 111. IMIS IS YOUR TOP-SECRET, OASSIREP PEVElXnON TWKT 'MILL LEAVE US NO CHOKE. BUT TO Bjy&CT THE l.H.E TREATY? ® i rSts- 'WEU., vr's tW&f HERE HE IS SUITING A RUSSIAN FLAG/' mL novt (Bond wjmld r sibplv f Alihoug Bng th Texas e ■])id ir ■nic in ml said. pAhnill [shipped evt-i y da' | 3ne-t< nes fr "GORBACHEV IS a COMMUNIST? Ktes n Ind s; Ifipte < u ft He s< Ififer i Ige ai Jotect ■cause ‘T Ido ii,” h Ibea tketei Id sti] ■side a Ition new tall j | ■ T* 0 pes, ai fom Ii rikine I Unic Banne Jinooi Mail Call Give our parking spaces back Zachry from my occassional parking place through ih| three-quarter full staff lot just adds to the frustration. Th} ED IFOR: I would like to know which authority figure decides who is to park where? As a junior who has had a blue sticker for one full semester, I feel there is a need for change in the parking situation here. The parking lot in front of Zachry has gotten to the point where I wake up in the morning with parking on my mind and a saying to my self “I wonder if I will be one of the select few to get a spot today, or will I have to park illegally again.” I would like to know the reasoning behind the chang ing of approximately six student parking rows into staff parking this semester in the Zachry lot. Last semester, without those extra spaces, the allotted spaces for the staff seemed more than adequate, and student parking was bea rable. This semester, parking is unbearable and walking to I know parking on a large university campus hasan| always will be a problem, and the fact that our own uiiiveil sity is expanding at a rate almost equal to that of the enroll ment over the last few years only compounds the mm But there has to be some sort of happy median! All that is needed is more thought be put into thediil tribution of the parking spaces. And a great place to begni correcting the problem would be the reallotment of six staff rows back to us, the deserving students. Robert Hostinak ’89 Letters to the editor should nut exceed 300 words in length, / lie editomlstuff fl senses the right to edit letters for style and length, but will make even rffoOi maintain the author’s intent. Each letter must be signed and must includethiti sification, address and telephone number of the writer. BLOOM COUNTY by Berke Breathe FUNNY, wese HUMAN priormes OF 0UR5... <ms. HORB (NO OmeK TO HFLP 5HFPB 7H6 FUTVRe OF OB MO CRAG Y ANP me FRBB MRU?,,. \ 4. .. YBT HOW BA FRY OUR OWN CFTTLB CONFLICTS CAN PI5TRACT OUR FOCUS. ! ANY&0PY 00T A U6HT * 4 BLOOM COUNTY by Berke Breath* ITS 0BBN A FUN WBBKENP, ANOI SAY IT'S A30UF TIME (N6 OFFICIAU-Y MBBT OUR SCAN PAL-FRBB, BL6CTA3CB CANP1PA7E / UH-.ANYBOPY know me re ou bill me CANPIPATB CAT IS ? HE'S IN AN L A. P6NmOU6e WITH JBANE KIRKPATRICK FLAVINS "CATCH me persimmon: \ Jewe