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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Nov. 2, 1984)
action uies are it Altogetj music in i )racula"j| icket Boni Zones 1,11 idem tidu ; > in Zones! rst ofantj y enterts. 1 by Toy, ; ial offer i) percent 4 mil Nov® to buy Zen ts in Zonel ire $46.2). 50 forZoa : 1 $51.a0fo ! water. 1 oily, sulfa :ie surface rays an ni ls that hare the insect! i forestn t he depart- a city-wilt ‘In a tow ■v workin; le town." d environ- e consider- ) with the . operatures Msonsaid. em.” Smitli :e small ad art fromal- 1 there is i t we’ll have e going to put made- acks in the iter, electri- d weather ding of the m the De- s funds. ow iealth and r xas A&hf . of identh j dolescents st was not tidal teen- : >e used to ire under geared fa Jsing hun- fferent se nds, Beal Youth Ad- ng 59 p 05 ' da degree lents who t of stress, i ichers and pportunit) n how to ; the poten- its are: ' rardian- j- tiember- 3- -Ifriend or regnant or 845 'S 7 79.7653 emerge"' Sports cause stomach aches OK, I really like sports. I think. It sort of makes me sick to my stomach when I see stuff that I don’t understand. Like, what is a Buckeye? Can anyone explain that too me? I guess I just get sort of con fused. I used to think sports was here to make me feel bad that I’ve become such a “couch potato.” I never really wanted to ever be come a pro athelete. I didn’t wdnt to dump drugs in my system so that I can “spaz out” in front of millions of sports-crazed tele vision viewers. Great, I’d proba bly get a close-up when I hadn’t even brushed my teeth. My pet fish, Mr. Freon, is tak ing the whole issue rather hard. I use to watch professional wres tling but then my favorite guy got beaned by the “Human Flame thrower” with a chair. I guess that’s when you can say I got disil lusioned. Well anyway, I was so upset by the crass commercialization of my favorite sport, that I went to the Burger Barn and had five “Sto mach Splitters.” Of course your stomach doesn’t really split, but I sure was stuffed. But that’s not the problem. I happened to eat some of the tin foil wrapper cov- MR. BACTERIA Guest Columnist ering one of those Stomach Split ters and I had to go to the hospi tal to get my stomach pumped. So when I came back home, Mr. Freon was suffering from food deprivation. He’s been sulking ever since. I also want to talk to this Jackie Sherrill dude. I was talking to my other friend, Raymond, and he said that Jackie doesn’t really ex ist. Raymond said that it is just a holographic image projected from Kyle Field. Raymond once failed a physics class, so he’s nearly a scientist. I figure I could help Jackie with the football team. I know the way to solve all the problems. Make the players wear sandals. Now that may sound dumb, but it sure would get results. I can’t think very well when my feet get hot from being stuck in shoes all day, so I figure the Aggie foot ball players are having the same problem. As soon as Jackie re turns my phone calls, I think we can get somewhere on this. “Gaggie” football puts me and Raymond to sleep anyway. Last game some guy punched Ray mond in the head. Raymond was wearing a “Jackie Sac” on his head to protest the high prices of Cokes at the games. We Figured the nut probably liked Dr Pepper or something. Raymond was pre tty lucky. The “doctors” at the quack shack gave him two aspirin and said they could cure his brain damage. I just wish things were like they were supposed to be. What ever happened to the days where you went to college to get an education, stay up late and be poor? I’ve been living on nachos at Bennigans for four years, and it hasn’t hurt me any. Raymond says there is a lot of nutrition in jalapenos. When I’m not foraging, I spend my time watching Austra lian Rules football because wres tling has become passe. I like a sport that has absolutely no redeeming social value. Mr. Freon is who I worry about. For a fish, he’s quite sensi tive. I’ve noticed that he’s become jaded. That’s a signal of grave problems. Fish never lie. So here’s my suggestion for changing the sports situation. De stroy all atheletes, stadiums, cheerleaders and coaches. Then start all over again. True, this might mean the widespread slaughter of millions of innocent people, but drastic situations demand drastic mea sures. I just want to see Mr. Freon laugh again. Ag sports weekend roundup These Texas A&M athletic teams will be in action this weekend. • Jackie Sherrill’s Texas A&M Football Team will seek its second Southwest Conference victory of the '84 season against SMU Saturday. Kickoff will be at 2 p.m. at Texas Stadium in Irving. • Kitty Holley’s Texas A&M Women’s Golf Team will take part in the Stanford Intercollegiate Tournament in Palo Alto, Calif., Nov. 2-4. • David Kent’s Texas A&M Men’s Tennis Team will host its sec ond A&M Four-Way tournament of the fall season Nov. 2-4 at the Omar Smith Tennis Center. Texas, TCU and Northeast Louisiana will pro vide the Aggies’ competition. • Jan Cannon’s Texas A&M Women’s Tennis Team is currently in Austin competing in the ITCA Qualifying Tournament, Nov. 1-4. • Mel Nash’s Texas A&M Men’s and Women’s Swimming Teams open their 1984-85 season at the Southwest Conference Relays in Lubbock Friday, Nov. 2. • The Texas A&M Ultimate Club will compete in a regional tourna ment this weekend in New Orleans. Ags must stifle ornery ’Stcmgs By TONY CORNETT Sports Writer Jackie Sherrill’s gridiron gangjumps on the bus today at noon to travel to Dallas and try to put some “knots on the heads” of the now cantankerous SMU Mustangs. The 4-3 Aggies will have their hands full against the 4-2 Ponies, who are coming off a pair of stinging losses to Houston and Texas. “We’re playing a good football team,” said Aggie Coach Jackie Sherrill, “There’s no question as far as the talent they have. Their offen sive line is very, very huge. They’re averaging about 278 pounds. Run ning back Reggie Dupard is an ex cellent football player. Quarterback Don King gives them a different di mension. King can throw the foot ball and he’s throwing the football a lot more.” The Mustangs really are a good team. Texas Coach Fred Akers said that the Ponies were the best team the Horns had played all season. Be ing 2-2 in the conference is not something the Mustangs expected in ’84. Physically, the Mustangs aren’t hurting. They’ve been lucky so far. Mentally, it’s another story. “Well, you know,” said SMU Coach Bobby Collins, “you go into the year and you’re expecting do well and all of a sudden you lose two conference games. To say that we’re not down a little bit would be mis leading. I think that our football team will respond and go back to work. I think that’s the best cure of all — to get back out on the field and get back to work. If we continue to look back on the last game then we’re in trouble.” In a way, it’s a similar story for both the Aggies and the Mustangs. Neither team expected to be in the position they’re in at the moment. Both are looking to make the best possible showing in the games re maining. The Aggies are coming off a 38- 14 win over the Rice Owls. Certainly, that helps the team as far as confi dence and it does keep them above .500. Offensively, the Aggies have been getting glittering performances from many players. Tailback Thomas Sanders contin ues to be the ground attacker that makes things happen for the Ags. Punt returner Jimmy Hawkins is the only player in the Southwest Confer ence this season to run a punt back for a touchdown. Running backs Roger Vick and Anthony Toney have been doing their part with the pigskin, too. And let’s not forget that freshman quarterback Craig Stump now has that first victory under his belt. After the Rice game, he admitted that he’ll feel better about going out onto Texas Stadium having gotten his first win out of the way. The Texas A&M defense speaks for itself. They speak rather loudly. They’re getting outstanding play from a host of young players. “I’m really happy to see (sopho more defensive end) Rod Saddler,” Sherrill said. “Rod Saddler, who missed all of spring practice, has got ten back to the point where he played very well last Saturday. Rod, hopefully, will pick up some slack.” The slack that he’ll have to pick up is that left by ailing All-American defensive end candidate Ray Chil dress. It’s still not certain whether Childress will get to play Saturday or not. He missed the Rice game be cause of bursitis in his left knee. A&M Head trainer Karl Kapchinski compares Childress’ ailment to a cold — it just happens to be in his knee. One thing is for sure, though, if Childress gets to play at all, said Sherrill, he will not get to play the entire game against the Mustangs. So what does Childress’ abscence See SHERRILL, page 12 OLDTIMERS! (i.e. Juniors, Seniors, & Grads) YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO... Get your picture taken for the 1985 Aggieland! ed h er ' tal area. cadenii c officers man. Hall re- wo h ar ' t for the Where?At Yearbook Associates 1700 So. Kyle (behind Culpepper Plaza) When? Now* through Nov 16th. *P.S. You avoid the lines if you do it now!