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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (April 19, 1983)
Page 2/The Battalion/Tuesday, April 19, 1983 opinion Watt plans July Fourth gala by Art Buchwald The Department of Interior is now hard at work planning the July Fourth celebration on the Washington Mall. Sec retary of the Interior Watt is involved in every detail of the celebration. “Mr. Secretary, here are the latest rules we’re issuing to assure the Mall par ty will be a patriotic family affair.” “Read them to me.” “No one with long hair or beards will be permitted to sit on the grass.” “What about the dress code?” “All males will be expected to wear jackets and ties, and all females must wear skirts and blouses, or dresses with proper necklines. The Park Police will turn the hoses on anyone who is not properly attired.” “That should keep out the rowdy ele ment. Did you check out the hosing with our legal department?” “Yes, and they have informed me it’s your Mall, and your Fourth of July.” “How are you doing on the food rules?” “We’re banning brown bags. People are only permitted to bring picnic ham pers, but they will be examined to make sure they don’t smuggle in any wine. Any unlicensed food purveyors will be horse whipped. This also goes for souvenir people selling Nuclear Freeze Buttons.” “Good. What else have you come up with?” “We’ve divided the Mall into smoking and non-smoking sections.” “Is that necessary outdoors?” “We’re limited in the number of narc agents at our disposal, and in this way we can keep a better eye on anyone who tries to light up a joint.” “How are we doing on the entertain ment?” “I spoke to the United States Army bandmaster and he gave me a list of pat riotic songs they plan to play.” “Let me see it... They’re not serious. Are they really including ‘This Land is Your Land’?” “What’s wrong with it?” “Haven’t you ever heard the lyrics? They’re against everything this Interior Department stands for. We’re trying to sell off the land and open it up to mining and lumbering, and lease the oil rights. 11 people believe it’s their land, they’ll take us to court. Throw it out.” “Yes, sir. Anything else you don’t like?” “How did John Philip Sousa’s ‘Washington Post March’ get on this list?” “I have no idea. Someone in EPA must have goofed. We’ll dump it.” “They can’t be thinking of playing ‘Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.’ That’s a Beatles song!” “We thought kids might like it.” “But the Beatles are hard rock, and I told you I didn’t want hard rock on my Fourth of July.” “Then it won’t be performed, sir. We’ll replace it with ‘When I Grow Too Old to Dream.’” “That’s more like it. My wife loves that song.” “Do you want to go over Wayne New ton’s numbers?” “Of course not. Anyone who works in Las Vegas knows what the American peo ple want to hear. What about the fire works display?” “Strictly family stuff, sir. There isn’t an R-rated rocket in the package.” “One more thing. I don’t want any anti-administration demonstrations on the Fourth.” “You have nothing to fear on that score. If anybody holds up a sign, our mounted police will trample them into the ground.” “Well done, Meddler. If the country doesn’t have a safe and sane Fourth of July this year, they can’t blame it on old Jim Watt.” Letters: Attitude toward freedom Editor: This letter is in response to Mr. Kevin Johnson’s letter of April 13. Mr. John son, your attitude toward “freedom” reeks of immaturity. It should be obvious that the changes you desire cannot be brought about while considering events of 120-plus years ago. Remember, this is 1983, not 1863. While I have never participated in the factual or ficticious slave trade, obviously I cannot understand completely your point of view. I wish, however, that you would consider the following: The ideology behind the “slave sale” is solely based upon the purpose of fund raising. A very long time ago, humans actually were bought and sold, under the ; norms and morays of the society of this region. How can you assume, therefore, that the “slave sale” is a reenactment of * this neo-ancient ritual with the intent to . » offend a particular segment of our Uni- - versity population? As I see it, there is only one common - thread: the exchange of money (from which, in this case, you may indirectly I benefit). The “slaves” who are bought are : not subjected to the type of subversion of more than 120 years ago; if they were, I would agree with you wholeheartedly. I would suggest that you forget about that which has since passed, because the only way you will obtain your desires is to look * forward. As for the bigger picture (i.e. TAMU ; system) you have a point, though it coin- ; cides little with the slave sale. The num ber of minority maids and janitors has nothing to do with minority students or administrators; these are basically people who are working to support themselves and their families. I cannot absolutely guess the reason for the lack of minority students/faculty/administrators, but perhaps it is due to a similar dilemma (on the part of all parties) that you have ex pressed: for more than 100 years, this University has not endured many radical changes. My final word: I (like someone with whom you may identify) dream of the day when all people will be able to live together in peace. The longer these views such as yours exist, the farther into the future it will be before this day is realized. Tette Musgrove ’83 Thanks for elections Editor: I think it’s about time for someone to recognize Les Asel, this year’s election commissioner, for all of the work he has done. Considering the number of people running for office in the spring elections, they went rather smoothly, at least the parts that Les had control over. The lack of volunteers, computer problems and weather were all beyond Asel’s control. Les has worked very hard on this year’s elections, both fall and spring, and I believe that his efforts should be recog nized. I admire Les for tackling this thankless job, and to those Aggies who think they could do a better job next year than Les could, I challenge you to apply for the position of election commission er, but don’t expect a rewarding job. Thanks Les, there really are people who appreciate the job you’re doing. C J. Johnson ’86 Gilbert Gonzalez ’85 Good election job Editor: Dear Tom King and Russell McCaskill: A recent article in The Battalion where you were quoted complaining ab out the recent elections made my blood boil. You blamed Les Asel, the election commissioner, for everything but the rain on the second day of elections. Well, I watched Les run both the elec tions of last fall and these most recent elections, and I feel he has done the best job possible. As Les said, no one, with the exception of you two, of course, is per fect, and mistakes are made. Les dedi cated a great deal of time and hard work into these elections, and I don’t think you have the right to launch such an attack on him. As for Les’ attitude, Mr. King, I think it is outstanding, considering that after all the work he puts into these elections, he is faced with nothing but complaints and a lack of help and support. Everyone and his dog can complain, but few can offer any solutions or help. Rob Farrell, Crocker Hall Correction In the humor supplement, “The Aggie Rag,” included in the March 21 issue of The Battalion, the newspaper used a picture of Merlin from a Texas Renaissance Festival press package. Bill Palmer works as Merlin at the annual festival. The picture was not intended to represent Palmer’s opinions in any way. The Battalion regrets the error. A Slouch By Jim Earle 1* “This is the last time I'm breaking it down and bringingit upstairs. From now on, if anyone wants to steal it, they can have it." An absurdity that isn’t very funny by Arnold Sawislak United Press International WASHINGTON — An associate whose hawk eye never fails to spot a poli tical absurdity points out that there is a movement afoot to appoint a blue ribbon bipartisan commission to Find a solution to the Medicare financing crisis. issues of public policy in this country,] • r what is the function of the groupw ^ already got? This is not a new question. Boil 1933 and 1963, when presidi Roosevelt and Kennedy wanted to action on new programs, they crei new agencies to carry them out rat than turn them over to existinggoit ment departments, which were too tied up in red tape to dothejob.1 ^ problem is that many of these “tem[ ary” agencies are still around, even«l the problems they were created tot with are not. 0 This idea, of course, arises from the success of the committee that worked out a short-range financing plan for Social Security, and on first glance it might appear to be a reasonable idea. But it also reflects a situation that can only be described as borderline ridicu lous at best and dangerous at worst. iei at S< lucat: ght t »mA As our colleague put it: “I’ve got an even better idea. Instead of appointing bipartisan groups to solve these problems one at a time, why don’t we set up a sys tem by which the various sections of the country can select a bipartisan group of men and women to solve all our national problems. We wouldn’t need a large group; 500 or so ought to do it. So, if special committees aregoiij )0 d J supplant Congress, which costs us siiP la thing in the neighborhood of $1 bil year, maybe we should abolish it,reiii Capitol to the private sector (ma; ; b ^ the company that President wants to sell the weather bureauto)i lOsm use the money to reduce the budgti Licit. “Of course, we will want to safeguard the interests of the small states, so we can divide the group into two bodies. One could give each state an equal number of votes, say two; the other would give each state a proportional number of votes based on its population, and, of course, both bodies would have to agree by ma jority vote on any solution offered to solve national problems. I don’t have a name for this committee, but just for the time being, we might call it the Con gress.” Therein lies the ridiculous aspect of the situation. If we need to choose a spe cial group to work out the really difficult irt ol ■ingv In this, a small voice keeps saying, ain’t funny, McGee.” And it is riglu has become increasingly evident cent years that Congress, which is* )n °* posed to deal with national probte ^ easy or difficult, has become so meshed in its own proceduresandsoi up by special interests that itcan'U’ confront, much less find a consensus, many difficult issues. And that is the potential Congress has become nothingmorei a debating society and the basicdecisi that affect our national life mustbefli n i or 6 by people with no responsibility to electorate, a fundamental ofoursys* le p a of self-government has been chatfave f without our consent. The Battalion USPS 045 360 Member ol Texas Press Association Southwest Journalism Conference Editor.. Diana Sultenfuss Managing Editor Gary Barker Associate Editor Denise Richter City Editor Hope E. Paasch Assistant City Editor Beverly Hamilton Sports Editor John Wagner Assistant Sports Editor J°hn Lopez Entertainment Editor . Colette Hutchings Assistant Entertainment Editor. . . . Diane Yount News Editors Daran Bishop, Brian Boyer, Jennifer Carr, Elaine Engstrom, Shelley Hoekstra, Johna Jo Maurer, Jan Swaner, Jan Werner, Rebeca Zimmermann Staf f Writers Melissa Adair, Maureen Carmody, Frank Christlieb, Connie Edelmon, Scott Griffin, Patrice Koranek, Robert McGlohon, Ann Ramsbottom, Kim Schmidt, Karen Schrimsher, Patti Schwierzke, Kelley Smith, Angel Stokes, Joe Tindel, Tracey Taylor, Kathy Wiesepape Cartoonist Scott McCullar Graphic Artists Pam Starasinic Sergio Galvez Thompson, Fernando Andrade Photographers. David Fisher, Guy Hood, Eric Lee, Irene Mees, Barry Papke, William Schulz Editorial Policy The Battalion is a non-profit, self-supporting news- Lil bal b J v the CSI irnet 'ades gthe abo bool Bun ivent! nod ache: igwil He nd; Boa iiamr bdi bool “Ali paper operated as a community service to Tffll ’ 1 University and Bryan-College Station. Opinio^ pressed in The Battalion are those of the editor 11 author, and do not necessarily represent theopi Texas A&M University administrators or facultfH hers, or of the Board of Regents. .yJH The Battalion also serves as a laboratoryn for students in reporting, editing andphotop scs within the Department of Communications. Questions or comments concerning any t matter should be directed to the editor. Letters Policy Letters to the Editor should not exceed 300» length, and are subject to being cut if theyarelo The editorial staff reserves the right to edit leWT style and length, but will make every effort to it the author’s intent. 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