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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Oct. 22, 1981)
The Battalion Viewpoint October 22,19S1 The less you think, the simpler it gets Look at the Yell Leader. Look at him move. Look at his face. He’s serious. Look at his expression. He’s frowning. He’s in tent. He means business. He’s important. His function is important. By definition. He is important because of what he does. What does he do? That’s not important. Not im portant at all. But, he’s at football games. That is important. That’s why he’s impor tant. Otherwise, he’d be unimportant, a nobody, a nothing. Just another stupid face. Now he’s important. And he feels good. He likes being important. He takes his job se riously. That’s because the school takes it seriously. Football counts for a lot. And the Yell Leader is important. Watch him gri mace. A bad call. You can tell. How? Be cause he instructs the hoards to hiss. That’s the way you tell a bad call. The hoards hiss. On cue. Just like a round-up. Except cattle in round-ups don’t hiss; cattle at football games do. But only on cue. Go to the Yell Practice. It’s important. Very important. You know why? Because everybody is there. Practically. Everybody who counts is there. A lot of students are there; so are a lot of former students. That’s what we call them, former students, not alumni. No. Uh-uh. No way. Once an Aggie, always an Aggie; that’s why they’re called former students. And they go to Yell Practice too. Why? Because they’re sup posed to. Actually, the former students are neither encouraged nor discouraged to go. But the students, those are the ones who are currently enrolled, are encouraged to go. And they do. Why? Because it’s good bull. What’s good bull? That’s what you’re supposed to do. By definition. If everyone does it, then it’s good bull. Usually. But there are exceptions. What happens at the Yell Practice? Well, a lot of people throw up and urinate on their friends. Isn’t that fun? But that isn’t the best part. The best part is this: wait for the lights to go out. It’s all very spontaneous. Except everybody knows it’s going to happen. Usually the lights go out twice. That means that if you have a com panion of the opposite sex (opposite of your sex, whatever that is), you can kiss. Good bull. But that’s not the best part. The best part is the grode story. The grode story is good bull. By definition. What’s the grode story? It’s a story involving a fictitious Ag, Rock (or is it “Rockell“? Anyway, another long, loud “whoop” at this point). What happens? Not much. The stories are really very juvenile. Adolescent stories. It’s ru mored that the Yell Leaders, who are in charge of the Yell Practice, and thus are very important, get all of their stories from a rather imaginative seventh grader in Kil leen. The stories are usually sexist. The stories always end with some sexual victory. The stories are real funny. Everybody who ops and laughs; some throw-up. That’s the mark of a good grode story. Of course, later, if you can recall the grode story, you’ll real ize that it really wasn’t funny. But that’s later. At the Yell Practice the grode stories are funny. They’re good bull. By definition. Look at the Head Coach. He’s mad. No, he’s not mad, he’s angry. Of course, he might be mad. Probably is. Anyway, look at his expression. It’s intent, strained, se rious. You want to know why? Because the team lost the last game. It was a very impor tant game. Of course, that’s redundant. All the games are important. Football games are important. But why is the coach angry? Because of bad calls. He was cheated. The school was cheated. Bad bull. What’s bad bull. Was the school cheated? Who knows? Who cares? Everybody. Everybody who’s a Slouch By Jim Earle ORCHESTRATE 0 T think everyone should learn at least one new word each day. the small society by Brickman XN A FALLirk^ Y&D Ll&U\C?AT&- Y&UfZ N£>. MY - / 1=1- □Q on a -CXk6 -l/fTTy/r ) 1981 King Features Syndicate, Inc World rights reserved A? ^ Warped Reader’s Forum good ag. What’s a good ag? Somebody who recognizes good bull and bad bull and makes the distinction. A pretty complicated process, but some achieve it. Others fake it. It doesn’t matter. Anyway, is that why the coach is angry? That’s part of it. But he’s probably also angry because his job’s on the line. Not officially. Of course not. Nothing like that is ever officially known. But every body knows it’s true. How? Because the Head Coach’s boss, the Athletic Director, “resigned” about a month before. Why did he resign? He didn’t say. Well, he did say— except he didn’t actually say it. Very tricky. Very subtle. Ex-AGs are like that. Anyway, everybody knows the Head Coach’s job is on the line. Will he be axed? Will he “res ign”? Only time will tell. But that’s why he’s mad, and angry. What’s the process of hir ing and firing? Good question. There isn’t one. People are just mixed, you know, exed out. Caput. They’re hone. Usually, they “resign.” Sometime they’re “relieved” of their jobs. Ah, the hit. That’s the way it’s done. Now you know. Of course, you al ways suspected. But don’t talk about it. That’s bad bull. Just be mad and angry at the bad calls. Maybe you can’t. Why not? Because the Yell Leaders aren’t there to cue you. But maybe you can. Try. Did you do it? Sure you did. Play like. Go to the freshman English class. Sit in the back. Just sit and watch. It might be amusing. Watch the girl who’s watching the c.t.s walk in. She likes c.t.s. She knows their jargon. She likes the jargon. Look at her salivate when a c.t. walks into the room. Listen to her ask him a question. “Did you get a bag-in today?” She’s interested. She’s concerned. How do you know? Because she knows the jargon. “Bag-in.” That’s part of their jargon. What’s a “bag-in“? Who cares? Just watch the girl. She’s interested—no, she’s more than interested, she’s aroused. In what way? Who knows? Who cares? But, do know this: she’s a good ag, or at least she’s on her way. She knows some of the jargon. She probably knows a lot more. Probably. You can’t really tell with fresh man. Anyway, she’ll outgrow her obvious indiscretion. When she’s a junior she’ll still salivate when she sees a c.t., but she won’t salivate all over her blouse. Just in her mouth. Then she’ll swallow her salivation. That’s the mark of the good ag. That’s one of them. There are others. Finally, read the letters in the paper. Most of them are from good ags. A few bad ags write in. Why? Because they’re bad ags. By definition. They complain. They’re not loyal. They write about minor things. Prob ably becouse they couldn’t take it. You know. You want an example? Figures. Good ags always want examples. That’s part of the mark. That’s part of the hit. Ask for an example. Read the letters. Read the letter from the c.t. who complains about bonfire. Is he really complaining about bonfire, or just about the logistics? Who can tell? Bad ags aren’t really very articulate. They don’t come out and say what they mean. They talk around the subject. Bad bull. What did this guy complain about? He complained about rampant sado-masochism form bonfire leaders. What did the leaden Well, first under stand this: not all thelei ers were involved. Just one. Maybe The others just condone it. What do condone? Something about beatingm classmen with ax handles until welts These blood appear on their bodies. Why, good bull. You know why? By d This guy was a bad ag. He couldn’t taki He couldn’t take blood and welts. There name for that. It’s a part of the jargon.tj c.t. He’ll tell you. Another example?Rt the letter form the guy complainingal» A&M in general. Well, he was moresps fic. He complained about bonfire. \l:|| Because he worked on bonfire and grades went down. So what? Well, nott wants to save his grades. (The beginning bad bull.) He doesn’t want to workonk fire. (Definitely bad bull.) He thenattaL bonfire. You know what? There’s a namtij Mayn that kind of guy. A two-percenter. You^ to know what else? He can just leave, that simple. It’s even simpler. It goes this: Highway Six runs both ways, ing. That’s the part about the jargon,S| amazing. It’s so, so lucid. Highway Sixni both ways. Amazing. Well, there you have it. A minortreafis on good and bad bull, good and bad ags, Aggie jargon. It’s pretty simple. There'sm much to it. You really don’t have to about it. That’s what’s so simple. That'snii so many conquer it. It’s easy. Really. Du! n( ) ar ts think. See? It’s getting easier. Tryagai outhG Good. Now you’re a good Ag. Keepati Brian J. Gross'! a Chin tlonday Editor’s note: Gross is a graduate studa in history at Texas A&M University. to It s your turn Cheating cheapens everyone Editor: Cheating on exams or papers is a practice which not only casts serious shadows on the character of the perpetrators, but is a slap in the face to those who do not. Some of the worst offenders seem to be those who claim “true aggie spirit.” Cheating cheapens my degree. It appears to me that if the swindlers put half the effort and worry into their studies that they put into their deception, they would feel no need to defraud their fellows The circumstance which predicated this letter involved a professor in his first semes ter teaching at Texas A&M. It is sad that this gentlemen’s first testing experience left him with the impression that nearly 15% of the students think so little of the value of an education that they resort to fraud and self abuse for a mark on a piece of paper. The ideology upon which the school is founded holds no room for those whose self esteem has sunk so low that they will steal from their friends. In a school where many tests are “curved” to give a normal distribu tion of grades, every point surreptitiously gained by another individual is a point stolen from me. I do not wish to be interpreted as sug gesting that those hypocrites who preach school spirit and steal a test before it is given to their section represent a significant number of students. The numbers in this however, are not pleasant. Plus or lesbian and gay students on this campus. Our suit against the University is due to come to trial in a few weeks. You need us, we need you. In the words of Susan B. Anthony (1873), “Cautious, careful people always casting about to preserve their repu tations or social standards never can bring about reform. Those who are really in ear nest are willing to be anything or nothing in the world’s estimation, and publicly and privately, in season and out, avow their sympathies with despised ideas and their advocates, and bear the consequences.” By Glimj mum. The nartial a ional ar electioi America The ( nember :hosen f alleges We know you’re out there. Call the Gay/ Lesbian Hotline at 846-8022. Thank you. Gay Student Services Organization Variety wanted Editor: case, minus 15 out of 109 students are making fools out the rest of us. They are the Gordon Liddy’s of the future. They smile and steal our dignity; and then hold themselves up as instructors in organizational enthusiasm. I am sick of it. I will give one warning: If you cheat around me, and I notice, I will do my damndest to see you fail. Then I will have a good laugh and go back to the books, and work for my C’s and B’s. You’re kidding! An award for Richard Reynolds and Town Hall? The same people who refused to help bring the Pat Metheny Group because the chairman’s roommate was “like really into jazz and had never heard of Metheny”? Town Hall (and by association Reynolds) has consistantly refused to believe that the students here would like to hear anything but Hall/Oates/Seals/Croft/Murphy Middle of the Road (MOR) swill. I can understand that it is difficult to get any self respecting group to play in the pitiful excuse for an auditorium, the infamous G. Rollie White ECHO-Torium, but surely one or two rock ers a year would not be too much to ask. Sure, you made a good attempt at Spriiii steen last year, but last month The Prete: ders had four days between Dallas and As stin and this month Pat Benatarhado] days on either side of Austin. Didyouevi attempt to get them? Granted they are pensive, but I’ll trade you two Seals Crofts/Michael Murphy’s for one rocker jazz group! It seems to me that you prel quantity to quality. Let’s see our mom spent on 4 diverse groups rather than MOR groups. It is really pitiful that this University given one irresponsible group the ability determine most concerts. The Basemed does a good job with the budget they an given, but $600 a show will hardly getm) grandmother to go on stage and burp no* days. It’s sad to see a fine Texas group The Lotions (or dozens of others) not ablet* play here for lack of $1000 or so. Howmiic! do you budget per show, $25,000 or so That will buy quite a few non-mainliffl groups. My budget just won’t allow melt both fund you people and go to Austin oij Houston to hear a variety of groups, Please, for our sake quit playing like tie MOR Moral Majority and realize that quite a few of us are not mindless “MOB Moonies.” There is a good audience fori’ verse music. YOU DON’T HAVE TO PACK G. ROLLIE TO HAVE A GOOD SHOW. As for me I’ll have a little Fishe fines noloc lizes byte The presf instai pres* FM. banc been little intern gence and variety in my music, thank you In the words of the great musical satirist Wierd Al Yankovitch, “I’ll be mellowwhei I’m dead.” Long live imagination. Todd Gross‘8 David D. Martin Gays want support Editor: This letter is a call for support going out to the one in ten (yes, I said one in ten) By Scott McCutlar BUT, A WAR PEP SENSE OF HUMOR IS WHAT THIS STRIP IS AI/AEp AT A/Vy- WAY. WHO KNOWS, TODAY'S STRIP MIGHT BE MOST E/VTOYEP BY SOME OF THE INTERNATIO/VAL STUDEA/TS . ... AND OF COURSE IT WON'T AAAKE MUCH sense that WAY, BUT THEY MIGHT FIGURE IT OUT. IN FACT, MOST PEOPLE WILL REAP THROUGH TODAY'S STRIP BACK WARDS THE FIRST TIME... (AG&IES DO IT BACKWARDS) HAVE you EVER NOTICED HOW DEPENDENT WE ARE ON READING FROM LEFT TO RI&HT? The Battalion USPS 045 360 MEMBER Texas Press Association The Battalion also serves as a laboratory newspaper for Editor Angelique Copeland YtY,. W P hoto ^P h y cte ® \ 4 within the Department of Communications. ,, 1 ° r t ar /. °Y Ce Questions or comments concerning any editorial mattel City Editor j Jane G. Brust should be directed to the editor Asst. City Editor Kathy O Connell Photo Editor DaveEinsel Sports Editor Ritchie Priddy LETTERS POLICY Focus Editor Cathy Saathoff Asst. Focus Editor Debbie Nelson Letters to the Editor should not exceed 300 words in News Editors Phyllis Henderson length, and are subject to being cut if they are longer. The Bemie Fette, Belinda McCoy editorial staff reserves the right to edit letters for style and Diana Sultenfuss length, but will make every effort to maintain the authors Staff Writers Gary Barker intent. Each letter must also be signed, show the address Frank L Christlieb, Randy Clements and phone number of the writer. Gaye Denley, Nancy Floeck, Colette Hutchings Columns and guest editorials are also welcome, and are rx • D- u* \4 t d i i oa ii not subject to the same length constraints as letters. Denise Richter, Mary Jo Rummel, Rick Stolle & T . XT xu li i i - iri Address all inquiries and correspondence to: Editor, lltf Nancy Weatherley, Barbie Woelfel Batta i ion , 2 16 Reed McDonald, Texas A&M University, Cartoonist Scott McCullar College Station ^ 77843 Graphic Artist Richard DeLeon Jr. Photographers Brian Tate The Battalion is published daily during Texas A&M’sfall Colin Valentine an( l spring semesters, except for holiday and examination periods. Mail subscriptions are $16.75 per semester, $33.25 " EDITORIAL POLICY per school year and $35 per full year. Advertising rates furnished on request. The Battalion is a non-profit, self-supporting newspaper ® ur address: The Battalion, 216 Reed McDonald Build- operated as a community service to Texas A&M University ' n 8> Texas A&M University, College Station, TX 77843. and Bryan-College Station. Opinions expressed in The Bat talion are those of the editor or the author, and do not United Press International is entitled exclusively to the necessarily represent the opinions of Texas A&M Universi- use f° r reproduction of all news dispatches credited to it. ty administrators or faculty members, or of the Board of Ri g hts of reproduction of all other matter herein reserved. Regents. Second class postage paid at College Station, TX 77813. mdiv you’ll This is beck . d F)45 fhe-ar r ect c 'bstini three bionit t^oise liore. Perfoi band