The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current, October 22, 1981, Image 2

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    The Battalion
Viewpoint
October 22,19S1
The less you think, the simpler it gets
Look at the Yell Leader. Look at him
move. Look at his face. He’s serious. Look
at his expression. He’s frowning. He’s in
tent. He means business. He’s important.
His function is important. By definition. He
is important because of what he does. What
does he do? That’s not important. Not im
portant at all. But, he’s at football games.
That is important. That’s why he’s impor
tant. Otherwise, he’d be unimportant, a
nobody, a nothing. Just another stupid face.
Now he’s important. And he feels good. He
likes being important. He takes his job se
riously. That’s because the school takes it
seriously. Football counts for a lot. And the
Yell Leader is important. Watch him gri
mace. A bad call. You can tell. How? Be
cause he instructs the hoards to hiss. That’s
the way you tell a bad call. The hoards hiss.
On cue. Just like a round-up. Except cattle
in round-ups don’t hiss; cattle at football
games do. But only on cue.
Go to the Yell Practice. It’s important.
Very important. You know why? Because
everybody is there. Practically. Everybody
who counts is there. A lot of students are
there; so are a lot of former students. That’s
what we call them, former students, not
alumni. No. Uh-uh. No way. Once an
Aggie, always an Aggie; that’s why they’re
called former students. And they go to Yell
Practice too. Why? Because they’re sup
posed to. Actually, the former students are
neither encouraged nor discouraged to go.
But the students, those are the ones who
are currently enrolled, are encouraged to
go. And they do. Why? Because it’s good
bull. What’s good bull? That’s what you’re
supposed to do. By definition. If everyone
does it, then it’s good bull. Usually. But
there are exceptions. What happens at the
Yell Practice? Well, a lot of people throw up
and urinate on their friends. Isn’t that fun?
But that isn’t the best part. The best part is
this: wait for the lights to go out. It’s all very
spontaneous. Except everybody knows it’s
going to happen. Usually the lights go out
twice. That means that if you have a com
panion of the opposite sex (opposite of your
sex, whatever that is), you can kiss. Good
bull. But that’s not the best part. The best
part is the grode story. The grode story is
good bull. By definition. What’s the grode
story? It’s a story involving a fictitious Ag,
Rock (or is it “Rockell“? Anyway, another
long, loud “whoop” at this point). What
happens? Not much. The stories are really
very juvenile. Adolescent stories. It’s ru
mored that the Yell Leaders, who are in
charge of the Yell Practice, and thus are
very important, get all of their stories from a
rather imaginative seventh grader in Kil
leen. The stories are usually sexist. The
stories always end with some sexual victory.
The stories are real funny. Everybody who
ops and laughs; some throw-up. That’s the
mark of a good grode story. Of course, later,
if you can recall the grode story, you’ll real
ize that it really wasn’t funny. But that’s
later. At the Yell Practice the grode stories
are funny. They’re good bull. By definition.
Look at the Head Coach. He’s mad. No,
he’s not mad, he’s angry. Of course, he
might be mad. Probably is. Anyway, look at
his expression. It’s intent, strained, se
rious. You want to know why? Because the
team lost the last game. It was a very impor
tant game. Of course, that’s redundant. All
the games are important. Football games
are important. But why is the coach angry?
Because of bad calls. He was cheated. The
school was cheated. Bad bull. What’s bad
bull. Was the school cheated? Who knows?
Who cares? Everybody. Everybody who’s a
Slouch
By Jim Earle
ORCHESTRATE
0
T think everyone should learn at least one new word each day.
the small society
by Brickman
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) 1981 King Features Syndicate, Inc World rights reserved
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Warped
Reader’s
Forum
good ag. What’s a good ag? Somebody who
recognizes good bull and bad bull and
makes the distinction. A pretty complicated
process, but some achieve it. Others fake it.
It doesn’t matter. Anyway, is that why the
coach is angry? That’s part of it. But he’s
probably also angry because his job’s on the
line. Not officially. Of course not. Nothing
like that is ever officially known. But every
body knows it’s true. How? Because the
Head Coach’s boss, the Athletic Director,
“resigned” about a month before. Why did
he resign? He didn’t say. Well, he did say—
except he didn’t actually say it. Very tricky.
Very subtle. Ex-AGs are like that. Anyway,
everybody knows the Head Coach’s job is
on the line. Will he be axed? Will he “res
ign”? Only time will tell. But that’s why he’s
mad, and angry. What’s the process of hir
ing and firing? Good question. There isn’t
one. People are just mixed, you know, exed
out. Caput. They’re hone. Usually, they
“resign.” Sometime they’re “relieved” of
their jobs. Ah, the hit. That’s the way it’s
done. Now you know. Of course, you al
ways suspected. But don’t talk about it.
That’s bad bull. Just be mad and angry at
the bad calls. Maybe you can’t. Why not?
Because the Yell Leaders aren’t there to
cue you. But maybe you can. Try. Did you
do it? Sure you did. Play like.
Go to the freshman English class. Sit in
the back. Just sit and watch. It might be
amusing. Watch the girl who’s watching the
c.t.s walk in. She likes c.t.s. She knows
their jargon. She likes the jargon. Look at
her salivate when a c.t. walks into the room.
Listen to her ask him a question. “Did you
get a bag-in today?” She’s interested. She’s
concerned. How do you know? Because she
knows the jargon. “Bag-in.” That’s part of
their jargon. What’s a “bag-in“? Who cares?
Just watch the girl. She’s interested—no,
she’s more than interested, she’s aroused.
In what way? Who knows? Who cares? But,
do know this: she’s a good ag, or at least
she’s on her way. She knows some of the
jargon. She probably knows a lot more.
Probably. You can’t really tell with fresh
man. Anyway, she’ll outgrow her obvious
indiscretion. When she’s a junior she’ll still
salivate when she sees a c.t., but she won’t
salivate all over her blouse. Just in her
mouth. Then she’ll swallow her salivation.
That’s the mark of the good ag. That’s one of
them. There are others.
Finally, read the letters in the paper.
Most of them are from good ags. A few bad
ags write in. Why? Because they’re bad ags.
By definition. They complain. They’re not
loyal. They write about minor things. Prob
ably becouse they couldn’t take it. You
know. You want an example? Figures.
Good ags always want examples. That’s part
of the mark. That’s part of the hit. Ask for an
example. Read the letters. Read the letter
from the c.t. who complains about bonfire.
Is he really complaining about bonfire, or
just about the logistics? Who can tell? Bad
ags aren’t really very articulate. They don’t
come out and say what they mean. They
talk around the subject. Bad bull. What did
this guy complain about? He complained
about rampant sado-masochism form
bonfire leaders. What did the leaden
Well, first under stand this: not all thelei
ers were involved. Just one. Maybe
The others just condone it. What do
condone? Something about beatingm
classmen with ax handles until welts
These
blood appear on their bodies. Why,
good bull. You know why? By d
This guy was a bad ag. He couldn’t taki
He couldn’t take blood and welts. There
name for that. It’s a part of the jargon.tj
c.t. He’ll tell you. Another example?Rt
the letter form the guy complainingal»
A&M in general. Well, he was moresps
fic. He complained about bonfire. \l:||
Because he worked on bonfire and
grades went down. So what? Well, nott
wants to save his grades. (The beginning
bad bull.) He doesn’t want to workonk
fire. (Definitely bad bull.) He thenattaL
bonfire. You know what? There’s a namtij Mayn
that kind of guy. A two-percenter. You^
to know what else? He can just leave,
that simple. It’s even simpler. It goes
this: Highway Six runs both ways,
ing. That’s the part about the jargon,S|
amazing. It’s so, so lucid. Highway Sixni
both ways. Amazing.
Well, there you have it. A minortreafis
on good and bad bull, good and bad ags,
Aggie jargon. It’s pretty simple. There'sm
much to it. You really don’t have to
about it. That’s what’s so simple. That'snii
so many conquer it. It’s easy. Really. Du! n( ) ar ts
think. See? It’s getting easier. Tryagai outhG
Good. Now you’re a good Ag. Keepati
Brian J. Gross'! a Chin
tlonday
Editor’s note: Gross is a graduate studa
in history at Texas A&M University.
to
It s your turn
Cheating cheapens everyone
Editor:
Cheating on exams or papers is a practice
which not only casts serious shadows on the
character of the perpetrators, but is a slap in
the face to those who do not. Some of the
worst offenders seem to be those who
claim “true aggie spirit.”
Cheating cheapens my degree. It
appears to me that if the swindlers put half
the effort and worry into their studies that
they put into their deception, they would
feel no need to defraud their fellows
The circumstance which predicated this
letter involved a professor in his first semes
ter teaching at Texas A&M. It is sad that
this gentlemen’s first testing experience left
him with the impression that nearly 15% of
the students think so little of the value of an
education that they resort to fraud and self
abuse for a mark on a piece of paper.
The ideology upon which the school is
founded holds no room for those whose self
esteem has sunk so low that they will steal
from their friends. In a school where many
tests are “curved” to give a normal distribu
tion of grades, every point surreptitiously
gained by another individual is a point
stolen from me.
I do not wish to be interpreted as sug
gesting that those hypocrites who preach
school spirit and steal a test before it is
given to their section represent a significant
number of students. The numbers in this
however, are not pleasant. Plus or
lesbian and gay students on this campus.
Our suit against the University is due to
come to trial in a few weeks. You need us,
we need you. In the words of Susan B.
Anthony (1873), “Cautious, careful people
always casting about to preserve their repu
tations or social standards never can bring
about reform. Those who are really in ear
nest are willing to be anything or nothing in
the world’s estimation, and publicly and
privately, in season and out, avow their
sympathies with despised ideas and their
advocates, and bear the consequences.”
By
Glimj
mum.
The
nartial a
ional ar
electioi
America
The (
nember
:hosen f
alleges
We know you’re out there. Call the Gay/
Lesbian Hotline at 846-8022. Thank you.
Gay Student Services Organization
Variety wanted
Editor:
case,
minus 15 out of 109 students are making
fools out the rest of us. They are the Gordon
Liddy’s of the future. They smile and steal
our dignity; and then hold themselves up as
instructors in organizational enthusiasm.
I am sick of it. I will give one warning: If
you cheat around me, and I notice, I will do
my damndest to see you fail. Then I will
have a good laugh and go back to the books,
and work for my C’s and B’s.
You’re kidding!
An award for Richard Reynolds and
Town Hall?
The same people who refused to help
bring the Pat Metheny Group because the
chairman’s roommate was “like really into
jazz and had never heard of Metheny”?
Town Hall (and by association Reynolds)
has consistantly refused to believe that the
students here would like to hear anything
but Hall/Oates/Seals/Croft/Murphy Middle
of the Road (MOR) swill. I can understand
that it is difficult to get any self respecting
group to play in the pitiful excuse for an
auditorium, the infamous G. Rollie White
ECHO-Torium, but surely one or two rock
ers a year would not be too much to ask.
Sure, you made a good attempt at Spriiii
steen last year, but last month The Prete:
ders had four days between Dallas and As
stin and this month Pat Benatarhado]
days on either side of Austin. Didyouevi
attempt to get them? Granted they are
pensive, but I’ll trade you two Seals
Crofts/Michael Murphy’s for one rocker
jazz group! It seems to me that you prel
quantity to quality. Let’s see our mom
spent on 4 diverse groups rather than
MOR groups.
It is really pitiful that this University
given one irresponsible group the ability
determine most concerts. The Basemed
does a good job with the budget they an
given, but $600 a show will hardly getm)
grandmother to go on stage and burp no*
days. It’s sad to see a fine Texas group
The Lotions (or dozens of others) not ablet*
play here for lack of $1000 or so. Howmiic!
do you budget per show, $25,000 or so
That will buy quite a few non-mainliffl
groups. My budget just won’t allow melt
both fund you people and go to Austin oij
Houston to hear a variety of groups,
Please, for our sake quit playing like tie
MOR Moral Majority and realize that quite
a few of us are not mindless “MOB
Moonies.” There is a good audience fori’
verse music. YOU DON’T HAVE TO
PACK G. ROLLIE TO HAVE A GOOD
SHOW. As for me I’ll have a little
Fishe
fines
noloc
lizes
byte
The
presf
instai
pres*
FM.
banc
been
little intern
gence and variety in my music, thank you
In the words of the great musical satirist
Wierd Al Yankovitch, “I’ll be mellowwhei
I’m dead.”
Long live imagination.
Todd Gross‘8
David D. Martin
Gays want support
Editor:
This letter is a call for support going out
to the one in ten (yes, I said one in ten)
By Scott McCutlar
BUT, A WAR PEP SENSE
OF HUMOR IS WHAT THIS
STRIP IS AI/AEp AT A/Vy-
WAY. WHO KNOWS, TODAY'S
STRIP MIGHT BE MOST
E/VTOYEP BY SOME OF
THE INTERNATIO/VAL
STUDEA/TS .
... AND OF COURSE IT WON'T
AAAKE MUCH sense that
WAY, BUT THEY MIGHT
FIGURE IT OUT.
IN FACT, MOST PEOPLE
WILL REAP THROUGH
TODAY'S STRIP BACK
WARDS THE FIRST TIME...
(AG&IES DO IT BACKWARDS)
HAVE you EVER NOTICED
HOW DEPENDENT WE ARE
ON READING FROM LEFT
TO RI&HT?
The Battalion
USPS 045 360
MEMBER
Texas Press Association The Battalion also serves as a laboratory newspaper for
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\ 4 within the Department of Communications.
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operated as a community service to Texas A&M University ' n 8> Texas A&M University, College Station, TX 77843.
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