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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (March 6, 1975)
•i-.iL Page 6 THE BATTALION THURSDAY, MARCH 6, 1975 Coach Hydrant calls a meeting Preparing for another year By PAUL McGRATH Staff Sports Writer Have you ever wondered what goes on in the football coaches’ of fices after the last snaps are made and the cleats are hung for the last time? Well, I’ll tell you what goes on. They prepare for next season, that’s all. That’s all? The coaches would probably ask, “Isn’t it enough?’’ Ladies, who besides your husbands or boyfriends eats, sleeps and breathes football six months out of the year? The coaches do, and then they turn around and make prepara tions to eat, sleep and breathe foot ball during the other six months. Let’s go to Pottawottatomie Tech to see how the average coach (if there is one) plans to conquer the world in the upcoming season. Here we have Coach Bear Hydrant, the man expected to lead the Pink Panthers to bigger and better things. One-arm Abernathy, Hydrant’s right hand man, co ordinates the offense and Sledge Hammer, a graduate of Baylor, plots the defense, which is nick named Heaven’s eleven. Spring training is less than a month away, but there are still some minor de tails that need to be smoothed out before their players strap on their jocks for the spring practice ses sions. One is to allocate money to buy jocks. Hydrant calls a meeting and the three begin to lay the foun dation for next year’s game plan. Let’s see if we can get an earful. Hammer: “This year let’s punt on fourth down and 20 to go. ” Hydrant: “Yeah, I guess you’re right. But, what else can you do when fourth and 20 is the best you do on last down all year?” Abernathy: “Are you implying that the offense wasn’t doing it’s job last year?” Hydrant: “What nonsense. It’s amazing what these press people come up with. What’s next on the agenda?” Hammer: “You know we only have a dozen jockstraps to go around. So, whenever the defense comes in to drill we have the offense switch off with them. And vice versa when the offense comes back in.” Hydrant: “So, what’s the prob lem?” Hammer: “Well, now everybody’s got this unidentifiable rash. It’s em- barassing to have ’em all out there scratching in practice.’ Hydrant: “I see what you mean. Abernathy, make a note to get some funds to purchase a couple of cases of Johnson’s baby powder.” Abernathy: “Right chief. Hydrant: “Okay, is there anything else?” [Hammer: “Oh? You mean the of fense had a job last year? I thought [till they were doing was giving the defense a rest.” Hammer: “Yeah, we’ve got this new player who’s gonna give us a lot of trouble. Plus, Smith, our safety- man, wants to re-negotiate his scho larship. He says if the Oakland A s can do it so can he.” Photo by Steve Krauss The Aggies’ Mike Floyd tells it like it is. Ag sailing club THE AGGIE PLAYERS TEXAS A&M UNIVERSITY IN CUE THE FORUM ARTHUR MILLER RUDDER CENTER FEB. 26-27-28 MARCH 1-6-7-8 8:00 pm TICKETS ON SALE AT RUDDER CENTER BOX OFFICE STUDENTS $1.50-$1.75-$2.00 OTHERS $2.00-$2.25-$2.50 races Saturday The Texas A&M Sailing Club is sending a racing team to the Rush Creek Yacht Club to compete on March 8. The race will be held on Lake Ray Hubbard. The A&M team consists of Akis Procopios (skipper), Parker Booth; and Eric Bauer (skipper) with Mark Bauer. A&M will go against TCU, Texas-Arlington, SMU, Texas, Rice, Tulane, Southern Louisiana and the University of Houston. The meet is a round robin regatta with A teams in one group and B teams in another. When a new calculator is introduced—you can see it here...first. No waiting for delivery. Your University Calculator Center has the largest inventory of quality units available anywhere. Plus, we specialize in the calculator requirements of the college student. 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Built-in 100-hour digital timer (accurate to ± 0.01% to the nearest 1/100th of a second). $395.00 LOUPOT’S Northgate Across From The Post Office University Iculator (•OTriTB Application Calculators Incorporal [Abernathy: “Why, you no good — Hydrant: “Now men, just settle down. Sure the defense was a little overworked last season, but that’s all going to change. Hammer, you know One-arm has the best offen sive mind in the country. Why, he’s got everybody else beat hands down. Oops, sorry Abernathy.” Hammer: “I’ll agree with you there. He does have an offensive mind. And that’s just the start. ” Hvdrant: “Let’s go on to our next problem. Abernathy, what were you saying about morale?” Abernathy: “Well, some reporter has come up with the idea that lack of spirit caused the team to play like they did.” Hydrant: “And just where did he say this Tack of spirit’ came from?” Hydrant: “Smith wants to re negotiate his scholarship, huh? Well, tell him that I’m in the fif teenth year of a three-year contract and that he’s not about to get any more cash until I do. What about this other player? What’s his name?” Hammer: “The he is a she coach, named Boom-Boom Brazinski. She wants to play on the team as a center. She says since we can have women yell leaders now we might as well have a woman on the football team.” Hydrant: “Give her one of the jock straps and tell to go on her way. Anything else?” Abernathy: “Nothing I can think of.” Hammer: “Me either.” Hydrant: “Well, let’s shake hands and adjourn the meeting. Oops, sorry again Abernathy.” ED PILGER’S 1721 S. TEXAS | £[2&ON ^ HWY 60 ■BwIRavk*' 'Breaded Bile-J Tartar Sauce PHONE 846-8386 STATE INSPECTION STICKER[]5]DUE Come By and let us take care of all your car needs. Tune-up —Brakes — Tires — Batteries WE APPRECIATE YOUR BUSINESS 42 mo. Battery PA-23 $36.00 PA-30 PA-26 38.00 PA-72 PA-28 31.90 PA-74 40.15 PA-29 36.40 PA-77 PLUS SALES TAX AND OLD BAHERY ‘Ocken & Vq •Pastrami Sand •Gnftad Cheese •Ham Salad Sa Saksbury Siea Mushroom Grt Beans CM & Beans. Crackers & S« •Ass I. Dry C« •Strawberry, F T. Hotcakes Saus Link Si Oteo 'Fool long F •Com Beef H Tomato Sou 'Roast Beel •GnlledChee * Chicken Sa Sukiyaki ov •Spaghetti & Veal Parme Abernathy: “He mentioned some thing about you no longer being the fireplug of the team. ” REPLY To Carol Hazen: Thank you for the letter. I’m not really the male chauvinist pig you would make me out to be. If you would like to drop by the office sometime I’ll discuss the story in more detail with you. —Paul McGrath Tamale Wagon IN REDMOND TERRACE 3600 Old College Rd. At the Triangle 822-4328 TRI a STATE A&M Sporting Hoods A Full line of guns, ammuni tion, fishing, tennis & golf equipment. EVERYDAY LOW PRICES! BURRIT0S .35 THREE FOR $1.00 ENCHILADAS 3 FOR .75 TAMALES $1.25 dozen FEATURING SOFT FLOUR TORTILLA TACOS ONE FREE TACO WITH $1.00 OR MORE PURCHASE OFFER EXPIRES MARCH 19th WITH COUPON ONLY 'Cream o! ’Comed B 'Grilled Ct Tuna Sal 'Grilled Lc Smoked: 'Orange. 'Ass t. Di 'Strawbe Crea Hal Serai 'Grided 1 Gravy 'Turkey 'Beel & ‘Grilled 'Sliced i Ham S Fried I Tartar 'Chicke PICTURES FOR 1975 AGGIELAND 'Meal JUNIORS & SOPHOMORES Feb 24 — March 14 Make-ups SENIORS AND GRADUATE STUDENTS MAKE SELECTION OF PROOFS FOR YEAR BOOK SOON AS POSSIBLE Photographs are taken on a drop-in basis, 8 — 5 weekdays and 8 — 12 Sat. For further information contact the Studio. Students who have paid to have their pictures placed in the 1975 Aggieland should have their photograph taken according to schedule at — UNIVERSITY STUDIO 115 North Main 846-8019 College Station 'Con* 'Fresh ■Ass, 'Straw 'Chic 'Grill, 'Past Tun Bar ‘Bra;