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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (June 30, 1966)
• Columns • Editorials • News Briefs Cbe Battalion Page 2 College Station, Texas Thursday, June 30, 1066 • Opinions • Cartoons • Features YOU DRIVE CAREFULL Y DURING JUL Y4 WEEKEND Traffic safety, like a triangle, has three sides: the vehicle, the person who drives it and the road on which he drives. Safety experts are making progress at improving all three, with much of the public’s recent interest focused on the car itself. In the future, you can expect to see more safety features in the new car you buy. But, as important as all this activity and progress is, the Texas Safety Association reminds you that the main safety factor in any vehicle is the driver. Let’s remem ber this — especially this July 4 weekend while driving on the highways in heavy holiday traffic. TSA president S. Ross Carr of Houston said the July 4 weekend can be a happy occasion for holiday cele brants instead of a time of tragedy caused by accidents. Of course, the TSA head said, it all depends on the will ingness of every individual to include a program of total safety awareness in his holiday plans. The TSA estimates that 31 persons will die in traffic accidents this July 4 weekend. Will you be one of them? Carr urges all drivers to put their driving skills to work in heavy holiday traffic and cited “defensive driv ing” as the best technique to apply for safe motoring. Remember, the life you save may be your own! Is There A Girl Scout In The House? A Modest Proposal? By HERKY KILLINGS WORTH Do you often find yourself thinking of marriage but haven’t the nerve to take the fatal step? That is, those of you with mates. Do you love your sweetheart more than anything in the world today, but fear your love may turn to dust tomorrow? Are you afraid of puppy love being taken for the real thing? Do you wish for a solution to your problems? Well there would be if the marital standards of America were set by Dr. Margaret Mead, renowned cultural anthropologist. In an interview before the 115th annual meeting of the American Medical Association Dr. Mead proposed a two marriage system that could virtually end the problem of divorce which has become exceedingly popular in the United States today. In Dr. Mead’s two marriage plan two people would live to gether up to two years on the first marriage. During this time they would test the foundation of their marriageable bliss and find if they could be happy together or not. This would all be perfectly legal and with the Church’s backing, perfectly moral. But, if the couple wants to have kids, they would have to go into the second marriage that would certify they were ready for childveriv So you see, the first marriage would' determine whethe|i> tKey could live happily together or not;, the second would put the fun into the marriage. Obviously, this will never work. As any red-blooded American boy can tell you, it is hard to control oneself in looking upon a member of the fairer sex, much less living with one. Surely the purest of girls would begin thinking of motherhood after being with “one” man day and night for two years. Those a little less pure might have trouble making two months. On the male side most would have trouble making two days. So what is to be done? Dr. Mead’s two marriage plan could easily turn into a three, four, five, or seventeen marriage plan if one partner wishes to cheat. And what of bigomy. Could you have two first marriages legally and have only one second marriage because it’s the important one? No!! There is no hope for this idea. But now listen to my idea. I have thought of an idea that would put divorce lawyers out of business within the year, except for those saps already legally married that would want out to join my “Marriageable Bliss” program . . . In my system the only change would be the marriage license. Everything else would remain the same including the ceremony, the honeymoon, and the burnt toast. However, the marriage license would become renewable after, say, two years. After all, are not fishing licenses expirable, are not drivers licenses renewed every two years, and are not Passport licenses unusable after five years. If all other kinds of licenses can be renewed or revoked, why isn’t the marriage license the same? Why is it so permanent? Just think. After two years of marriage you could take back your old wife or trade her in for a newer model. Would a woman dare nag her husband with a license renewal coming up within the year? Also, would a wife let herself go when she might possibly have to go man hunting again shortly? Of course I understand there will be problems. Small motels will go out of business. Every other room in the surviving motels would be a Honeymoon Suite. More pastors and justices of the peace would be needed and women supporting their leisure with alimony would have to find new occupations as would the street walkers. But these problems are small. Look instead to the advantages . . . besides that. Under my marriage plan, true marital bliss could finally be obtained. Adultery would be ended for the adulterous couple could always let their marriage expire and be married them selves. If it didn’t work out they could always return to their original partners. What a system! This would far outdo the Scandanavians pre marital relationship and would probably set America up as the model society ... the Etopia of the sexes. THE BATTALION By JOHN HOTARD (Scene: Hospital reception room. Man enters with large cut on arm. Man is bleeding profusely.) “Nurse. Nurse! I’m bleeding profusely. I have this large cut on my arm and . . .” “How old are you, sir?” “I was walking down this dark alley and this little old lady with a machete comes out of the shad ows . . . why do you need my age at a time like this? Can’t you see that I’m bleeding to death? Any way, I’m 67.” “Well, sir, as of today you are covered by MEDICARE. Now then, have you ever been, or are you now, a member of the Com munist Party?” “. . . It’s deep. All the way to the bone. You might have to amputate and . . . am I a what? Communist Party?? What differ ence does that make??” “Well, sir, we can’t go around giving aid to enemies, now can we? At least not aid earmarked Sound Off Dear Editor The Battalion I though I’d write and tell you about this here place I’s discov ered the other day. You might want to tell your readers about it because it really is a nice place to go. I’s discovered this here swim- min’ pool over on the other side of the campus, the side away from the school buildin’s. I jest happened to be walkin’ along by the football field, I’s gonna try out next year—I’s always wanted to be a hero charakter, and there it was. There was all sorts of girls over there. Boys to. Short ones, tall ones, skinny ones, and even this one that had on a bikine that the folks back home would call skimpy. I’s shore she was sweet though. That tall black-haired girl in my 6 a.m. class (thet a.m.’s after morning not aggies and men) wuz there and she’s more than I even thought she wuz. I’s gonna ask her for a date but this big guy was talking to her. Someone said he was Randy Matson which thrills me to no end. I’s always wanted to see the guy thet owns this here school. Those three juniors in my dorm tell me he’s the big-shot aroun’ here. Are somethin’ about shot. Big-shot had to be it. Anyway, back to the swimmin’ pool. For any interested Aggies it’s real big and there’s not a crack in it yet. Our old swimmin’ pool back in Sneedville was built by the depression guys and it’s got a crack a mile wide in it. Thet’s actually a good thin’ though because the only time it ever gets cleaned is when all of the water leaks out. I spent nearly a day over at this swimmin’ pool here mainly watchin’ the girls and sunbathin’. I’s never had a tan below the belt before. It’s always been gotten by hoein’ before and al though you gets good and brown above, nothin’ happens below. I wanted to dive off the big board while I wuz !;here for one of the juniors bet I couldn’t but someone had stolen the ladder. I hopes they bring it back before I go over again. Guess I’s better write my Aunt Bess. She sent me a big birthday cake and I’s always said thet any one nice enough to send a cake seven months early deserves a letter. Cyric Hayseed ’70 Opinions expressed in The Battalion are those of the student writers only. The Battalion is a non tax-supported non profit, self-supporting educational enter prise edited and operated by students as a university and community newspaper. Members of the Student Publications Board are: Joe Bussc; chairman; Dr. David Bowers, Collesre of Liberal Arts; Dr. Robert A. Clark, Coil*-- ' 1 I '~ ^ ’ * ” Donald, The Associated Press is iiblicati rigin published here!; latter herein are also reserved. republication of all news dispatches ci therwise credited in the paper and local origin published herein. Rights of repub' • herein £ clusively to the use for credited to it or ngt news of spontaneous ilieation of all other here! Second-Class postage paid at College Station, Texas. News contributions or 846-4910 or at the edito: For advertising or delivery ay be made by telephoning 846-6618 orial office, Room 4, YMCA Building. 11 846-6416. College Engineering; Dr. Robert . _ _ Medicine; and Dr. A. B. Wooten, College of Agriculture. lege of Science Mail subscriptions are $3.60 per semester; $6 per school year; $6.60 per full year. All subscriptions subject to 2% sales tax. Advertising rate furnished on request. Address: The Battalion, Room 4, YMCA Building, College Station, Texas. pu Su Battalion, a student newspaper in College Station, Texas dail at Texas A&M is except Saturday, ptember through The ilished in College Sunday, and Monday, and holiday periods, Sej May, and once a week during summer school. MEMBER The Associated Press, Texas Press Association Represented nationall; Inc.. New York City, Chicago, Los Angeles an by National Advertising Service, San Francisco. EDITOR Editorial Assistants Photographer ... GERALD GARCIA Herky Killingsworth, John Hotard, Jim Butler, Tim Lane . Herky Killingsworth for our domestic policies . . .” “. . . Never mind the amputa tion. Put in stitches. Anything. Just so it stops bleeding . .. .” “Have you ever received med ical benefits from another Fed eral agency, such as the VA?” “. . . If you’re out of thread, I’ll settle for a large compress. But make it fast — I might not . . .” “Have you ever been arrested by Federal authorities for the possession of heroin or other nar cotics?” “. . . I’m fading fast. We’ll forget the large compress. Do you have a small compress?” “Have you ever had trichinosis, Pott’s disease, or pneumoconi osis?” “. . . It’s bleeding faster ... I can’t stop it. Can you give me a large piece of gauze and ad hesive tape . . .” “First you’ll have to fill out this locator card in case we have to contact you at a later date . . .” “. . . Later date!! Look, lady, if I don’t get aid fast, there might not be a later date!!” “. . . And then, if you’ll just sign this statement . . .” “Statement? What statement? I’ve already told you that I’m not a communist.” “This states that you don’t care which doctor handles your case. If you have preference of doctors, then . . .” “Preference of doctors? Who cares!! Just so he can apply a bandage. I don’t even care if he’s not a doctor! Is there a Girl Scout in the house?” “We’ll also need a statement on exactly what happened so that a complete report may be sent to Washington to determine if it was intentional or accidental. If in tentional, then it must be report ed to proper authorities.” “. . . But I can’t write . . . my arm is numb . . . can’t all this wait until AFTER I get . . .” ‘I’m afraid not, sir. According to Title 78, Article 43, section 567, subsection 134, paragraph 8, sub- paragraphs 3, 4, 5 . . .” “Never mind. If you haven’t got any gauze handy, maybe a few Band-aids . k “Then you’ll have to fill out these four pages of your complete medical history—in triplicate.” “. . . They don’t have to be large Band-aids. Small Band-aids will do . . .” “After that, you’ll need to answer these questions . . “Nurse, I think . . . (man col lapses on floor and dies). “Sir, you didn’t finish filling out your locator . . .” (Stretcher comes in and carries out body. In walks young man with large cut on arm. Man is bleeding pro fusely.) “Nurse. Nurse! I’m bleeding profusely. I have this large cut on my arm and . . .” “Are you covered by insurance, sir?” THE END The Church..For a Fuller Life..For You CALENDAR OF CHURCH SERVICES ST. THOMAS EPISCOPAL 906 Jersey Street, So. Side of Campos Rector: William R. Oxley Asst.—Rev. Wesley Seeligrer 8 :00 A.M. & 9 :15 A.M. Sunday Services A&M CHURCH OF CHRIST 8:00 & 10:00 A.M. Worship 9 :00 A.M.—Bible Study 6 :16 P.M.—Young People’s Class 6 :00 P.M.—Worship 7 :16 P.M.—Aggie Class 9 :30 A.M.—Tues. - Ladies Bible Class 7:16 P.M.—Wednesday - Bible Study UNIVERSITY LUTHERAN 10:00 A.M. 11:00 A.M. (Missouri Synod) Bibl, CHURCH OF THE NAZARENE 9 :45 A.M.—Sunday School 10 :45 A.M.—Morning Worship 6 :30 P.M.-—Young People’s Service 7 :00 P.M.—Preaching Service CHRISTIAN SCIENCE SOCIETY 9 :30 A.M.—Sunday School. 11 :00 A.M.—Sunday Service 11:00 A.M.-2 P.M.—Tues. Reading Rm. 7:00-8:00 P.M.—Wed., Reading Room 8:00 P.M.—Wed. Evening Worship FIRST BAPTIST 9 :30 AM—Sunday School 10 :46 AM Morning Worship 6:10 PM—Training Uni le Class Morning Worship 7 :30 P.M.—Wednesday Vesper UNITARIAN FELLOWSHIP 305 Old Hwy. 6 S. 10 :00 A.M.—Sunday School 7 :45 P.M.—First four Sundays of each month* — Fellowship Meeting. A&M PRESBYTERIAN 7-9 A.M.—Sun. Breakfast - Stu. Ctr. 9 :46 A.M.—Church School 11 :00 A.M.—Morning Worship 6 :00 P.M.—Sun. Single Stu. Fellowship 7 :16 P.M.^—Wed. Student Fellowship 6 :46 A.M.—Fri. Communion Service Wesley Foundation ion 7 :20 PM—Evening Worship 6:30 PM—Choir Practice * Teachers’ meetings (Wednes 7:30 P.M.—Midweek (Wed.) e s day) Services SECOND BAPTIST 710 Eisenhower 9 :45 A.M.—Sunday School 11:00 A.M.—Church Service 6 :30 P.M.—Training Union 7 :30 P.M.—Church Service OUR SAVIOUR’S LUTHERAN 8:16 & 10:45 A.M.—The Church at Worship 9 :30 A.M.—Bible Classes For All Holy Communion—1st Sun. Ea. Mo. ST. MARY’S CATHOLIC Sunday Masses—-7:30, 9:00 and 11:00 FAITH CHURCH UNITED CHURCH OF CHRIST 9:15 A.M.—Sunday School 10 :30 A.M.—Morning Worship 7 :30 P.M.—Evening Service COLLEGE HEIGHTS ASSEMBLY OF GOD 9 :45 A.M.—Sunday School 11 :00 A.M.—Morning Worship 6 :30 P.M.—Young People’s Service 7 :30 P.M.—Evening Worship A&M METHODIST 8 :30 A.M.—Morning Worship 9:45 A.M.—Sunday School 10 :55 A.M.—Morning Worship 5 :30 P.M.—Campus & Career Class 5 :30 & 6 :00 P.M.—MYF Meetings CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER DAY SAINTS 26th East and Coulter, Bryan 8 :30 A.M.—Priesthood meeting 10 :00 A.M.—Sunday School 6 :30 P.M.—-Sacrament Meeting FIRST CHRISTIAN CHURCH Homestead & Ennis 9 :46 A.M.—Sunday School 10:50 A.M.—Morning Worship 6:30 P.M.—Young People mmm # :ippfv » mm / //M M x r mmP\ f : ? tT* "M'S \ ok // f / . )U FESTOONING FIRE FINGERS STREAK DOWN THE SKY WHILE SOFT JULY BREEZES STIR ACROSS UPTURNED FACES AND THE BAND PLAYS SOFTLY. SUDDENLY I SEE BEYOND THE FRAMEWORK OF OUR CELEBRATION. I SEE FIREWORKS AND FLAGS, HARD-BOILED EGGS AND POTATO SALAD, A PARADE DOWN MAIN STREET, COTTON CANDY, ROLLER COASTERS. AND THE DANCE AT THE COUNTRY CLUB. I SEE A LITTLE BAND OF PEOPLE CROSSING THE OCEAN TO MAKE A NEW LIFE. A WOODSMAN HACKING A TRAIL WESTWARD, A MAN AND HIS WOMAN WORKING TOGETHER TO MAKE A HOME IN THE NEW WILDERNESS. I SEE ROWS OF GRAVES IN FRANCE. MARKING FALLEN DOUGHBOYS, FOUR YOUNG MEN RAISING A FLAG ON IWO JIMA, AND AN ASTRONAUT BLASTING OFF TO YET A NEW FRONTIER. I SEE A SWEET LAND OF LIBERTY ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS THIS LAND STANDS FOR IS A MAN S RIGHT TO WORSHIP GOD IN THE WAY HE WANTS. GO TO YOUR CHURCH AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS PRECIOUS HERITAGE. Copyright 1966,Keister Advertising Service, Inc., Strasburg, Va. Sunday Monday Tuesday Joshua II Samuel Proverbs 22:1-6 7:18-29 28:1-6 Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Jeremiah Jeremiah Acts Hebrews 32:26-35 32:36-41 7:35-50 13:7-17 <sj2? t <si2? t <si2? t <Si2? t <si2? t <si2? t <£$2? t cM? t t <Si2? t t ccir? J4i((ier 3unera( JJo BRYAN, TEXAS 502 West 26th St. PHONE TA 2-1572 Campus and Circle Theatres College Station . . • -d. „; College Station’s Own Banking Service University National Bank NORTH GATE Sure Sign of Flavor SANITARY Farm Dairies Central Texas Hardware Co. BRYAN • HARDWARE • CHINA WARE • CRYSTAL • GIFTS The Exchange Store ‘Serving Texas Aggies’ Bryan Building & Loan Association BRYAN Mb. ICE CREAM AND MILK | Trade With Lou, Like Other Aggies Do!