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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 6, 1966)
— L Columns • Editorials • News Briefs Che Battalion Page 2 College Station, Texas Thursday, January 6, 1966 • Opinions • Cartoons Features i The Car With A Sense Of Humor CADET SLOUCH ssoc by Jim Earle fcA'L [ conce there until It appears that the finer things of life have always been dis criminated against. Time after time history has repeated itself as man continues to laugh at the world’s greatest discoveries. IPs unfortunate that laughter was invented before the wheel for as B.C. came rolling down the hill on his shiny new 100,000 B.C. wheel . . . they laughed at him. But where would we be without that wheel now. And every fool knows that they are sure to have laughed at Archimedes after his famous bath in which he went running down the street, sans apparel, yelling about whatever it was he discovered. But where woud we be without that bathtub . . . Aggies, forget that last remark. Yes, man has always laughed at the great men and their dis coveries. They laughed at Se ward’s Icebox, Fulton’s Folly, and Santa Fe’s Iron Horse, but they all proved themselves. They are still laughing at T. U.’s Super Conference, but after two years with Stallings A&M might need one and then the world will realize it’s importance. But man has never learned. Even today they are laughing. Two years ago they attacked the greatest beast of the jungle and a frequent visitor of the East Gate Lounge, the elephant. Be fore that it was cruelty jokes. And now, the Aggie jokes. The fools do not recognize greatness when they are face to face with it. Yes, throughout history man has laughed at new discoveries. But the discoveries have been beneficial to modern man and have led up to the greatest dis covery of mankind, that fabulous, one and only . . . Volkswagen. Yet man continues to show his true character and dares to laugh at the Volkswagen. It has become a household word comparable to termite, parasite and even tiny. The Volkswagen, thanks to word-of-mouth and tremendous advertising is now more popular than ever. Personalities that can afford Rolls Royces drive VW’s for their convenience. Paul Newman and his wife Joanne Woodward emerged from a Beverly Hills party for Brit ain’s Princess Margaret and ask ed an attendant to bring their Volkswagen. The stars drove off in the tiny car amid the cheers of the crowd who saw some 15 Rolls Royces, three Bentleys and scores of Jaguars and Cadil lacs . . . Princess Margaret herself re ported that the car she drives is a Volkswagen. Unless she is chauffeured to a fancy function or opening, such as the premiere of the first Beatle movie, “A Hard Day’s Night,” which she attended. . . . Surely that should be proof of the VW’s importance to the world. I mean ROYALTY. . . . Comedienne Phyllis Diller claims that her automobile “has a Diesel horn that scares the heck out of Volkswagens. Last week I treed four of them. . . .” In Los Angeles, HERALD- EXAMINER Columnist Bill Ken nedy told his readers: “Martin Ragaway wonders whether you know why they don’t allow Volkswagens in Africa ? Be cause an elephant will make love OpGn Qo-tes Past Corps Commander Wins 4th Army Honor Second Lt. Neil L. Keltner, Corps commander last year, has been named the outstanding ROTC graduate in the 4th Army Area for 1964. Lt. Keltner, of Lansing, Mich., will compete with other out standing ROTC graduates for the Department of the Army’s Hughes Trophy, given annually to the most outstanding commis sioned graduate of ROTC. An industrial distribution ma jor while at A&M, Keltner is at tending basic officers’ course at Fort Knox, Ky. He is scheduled for assignment with an armor unit in Korea in August. The time is coming when the successful farmer will spend more time behind a desk than on a tractor. His office will display a college degree or degrees, show ing he has had training in a large number of fields. Rapidly advancing technology and automation will require the producer to put more emphasis on brain power than muscle power. This picture of the producer of 1975 is painted by the U. S. De partment of Agriculture in a study of training which will be necessary for those who will make a go of farming. Because of increased efficiency in production, a farmer will need to know and keep abreast of the latest scientific, economic, mar keting and conservation develop ments if he is to meet compe tition. Tomorrow’s farmer will need these things: Basic training in economics, mathematics, accounting, finan cial management, business law and principles of farmer coopera tives. He will also need special train ing in record keeping, use of capital for farming, business analysis, long range planning of farm operations, organization of the farm, efficient use of labor, building requirements, use of automation, up to date production techniques, agricultural policies and taxation. Basic training in general ge ology, soil science, elementary surveying, principles and prac tice of land use, soil analysis and land economics are a few more of the must-knows for tomorrow’s farmer. More are conservation, soil en gineering, drainage, irrigation and flood control. But a broad education in pro duction will not be enough to assure success. The farmer must also be a specialist in marketing, grades and grading, farm proc essing, packaging, storing, under standing of market demands and using market information. No matter which way farm youth might look, tomorrow’s farm will be a long row to hoe, but then again he will be doing it from the desk, rather than at the end of a hoe handle. Along with the hoe passes the Poland China cow. Yes, I said Poland China cow; you know, the ones you prop up with a pole and milk a china cup full. Tessie Tales- Cologne Women Producers Leave At Men’s Mercy I had already decided it would be a long flight, so when the stewardess came by with maga zines, I demurely asked for Esquire. Ignoring her smile, I reasoned that every young woman likes to know what the men in her life are thinking and buying. As I think back upon it, I don’t remember anything about the magazine except its ads. I counted no less than 28 different brands of after-shave lotion and cologne advertised. The more pages I turned, the more virile and hand some became the men who used a certain product and the more beautiful became the women fall ing at their feet—probably felled by the smell. The more I read the more in trigued I became. Each pitch got better than the last, until, by the final ad, I was simply swooning at the thought of all those virile smelling men who would cross my path. I hoped. There is, I decided, no end to the means a manufacturer will employ in selling his product. But I think I did detect some conti nuity among all products and the audiences to which they were aiming their sweet smells of suc cess. Perhaps I can codify the tactics of after-shave-lotion-and-cologne manufacturers: 1. Make the man feel the ex otic, the oriental. Send him Russian Leather, Jade East, Seven Seas and Canoe. 2. Convince him that if he wears the product he will have a dignified, austere, English-coun- try-gentleman odor about him. Bestow upon him English Leather, Kent of London, St. John’s and Sir. 3. Give him more than just cologne or after shave; give him entrance to the world of wine, etc. Set him up with Pub, Piping Rock and Moonshine. 4. Bring out the adventurous. brave spy in him. Shoot him 007, Jaguar and Ambush. 5. Tell him he is a hero, a real sport. Pitch him Sportsman, Match Play, Tournament and Stampede. 6. Take him to the Caribbean for sun, surf, sex. Tan him with Old Spice Lime, British Carib bean, Royal Oak and Royall Lyme. 7. Let him gamble. Deal him Las Vegas. 8. Call him a man. Call him Dante, By George and Mr. Sid (“Go ahead! Just put me on! And you’ve got it made.”) This is fine for the dashing young gentleman, but what about those shy young ladies in his life? Frankly speaking, they don’t have a chance. With at least 28 manufacturers helping her guy to seduce her, the only chance she has is to seduce him first. Which is not according to Hoyle, but nevertheless . . . THE BATTALION Opinions expressed in The Battalion ' 1 ^« Associated Press is entitled exclusively to the use for r ii , •* a -. 7 rr , 1 repub 11cation of all news dispatches credited to it or not CLTB ZrtOSB Of the StuCLeiXt Wintevs only. ± he otherwise credited in the paper and local news of spontaneous Battalion is a non tax-supported non- lifter Creln^ar’Taiso S^d. of " publication of a11 other profit, self-supporting educational enter- Second-Class postage paid at College Station, Texas. prise edited and operated by students as Represented nationally by National Advertising Service, a university and community newspaper. Inc., New York City, Chicago, Los Angelea and San Francisco. ~ “ ~ ~ “ ' ——: — News contributions may be made by telephoning 846-6618 Members of the Student Publications Board are: Joe Baser. or 846-4910 or at the editorial office. Room 4. YMCA Building, chairman ; Dr. David Bowers, College of Liberal Arts ; Dr. F or advertising or delivery call 846-6416. Robert A. Clark, College of Geosciences ; Dr. Frank A. Me- Donald. College of Science; Dr. J. G. McGuire. College of Mail subscriptions are $3.60 per semester; $6 per school Engineering; Dr. Robert S. Titus, College of Veterinary year; $6.50 per full year. All subscriptions subject to 2% Medicine; and Dr. A. B. Wooten, College of Agriculture. sales tax. Advertising rate furnished on request. Address: The Battalion, Room 4, YMCA Building, College Station, Texas. The Battalion, a student newspaper at Texas A&M is published in College Station, Texas daily except Saturday, EDITOR GLENN DROMGOOLE May^d a oncrrw^k“tin 0 gtLr^b^t Ptember throuKh Managing Editor Gerald Garcia Sports Editor Larry Jerden MEMBER News Editor Tommy DeFrank The Associated Press, Texas Press Association Photographer Herky Killingsworth to anything that has a trunk in front. . . And everybody has heard about the Aggie millionaire who bought a Volkswagen to drive from his house to the garage. Everyone wants into the Volkswagen game. Larry Van Gelder reporting from Cape Ken nedy made the remark, “The first stage of the Titan engine gener ates 430,000 pounds of thrust at maximum or the equivalent of the thrust that could be generat ed by 219,000 Volkswagens. . . .” Now that was no ad-lib. That gets into higher mathematics and involves an IBM’s superior knowledge. New Jersey Portraitist Ken neth Hari recently received a $1,- 000 assignment but told SEVEN TEEN Magazine he was “tired of doing women who look like a Volkswagen but expect me to make them look like Rolls Royces. . . .” Edwin A. Lahey came up with this profile of Senator Dirksen, “The Illinois senator is leader of the Republican minority whose intellectual giants could be crowded into a Volkswagen. . . .” And surely everyone has heard of the stripper’s Volkswagen philosophy. “If your chasis wins acceptance, there’s no point in changing the trim every year.” But does the Volkswagen in dustry mind the insults? No, they even send out pages of Volkswagen jokes such as those previously mentioned in an effort to put a “true” image before the public. But that’s not all they have going for them. Their advertise ment’s are honest and fitting to the American way-of-life. They admit that Wilt Chamberlain cannot ride in a Volkswagen, but Randy Matson can. And the roads of America are kept clean because the snowmen of America (not the Aggie kind) can get to their snowplows be cause of the VW. Yes, the Volkswagen and the Aggies are laughed at, but then look at the millions of Americans just green with jealousy who wished they’d been born an Ag gie or a Volkswagen. Dick Hitt told readers of his Dallas TIMES-HERALD column that a new “Volkswagen commer cial says the company has been working on the same car for 18 years. . . .” Hitt added: “I’d sure like to see it, whenever they get it finished.” I bet that then it won’t be laughed at. “I had this big quiz, see, and I was going to study all night, But I thought I’d lie down and rest a few minutes before I started and guess what happened!” PEANUTS By Charles M. Schulz PEANUTS i Told the uihole class all ABOUT “AMBLYOPIA" AMO WHY I WEAR THIS EYE PATCH..! EXPLAINED H0U) MV “LAZY EYE' 1 IS BEIM6 STRENGTHENED BY BEING FORCED TO WORK WHILE MY OTHER EYE IS COVERED... THEM I URGED THEM ALL TO 60 SEE THEIR OPHTHALMOLOGISTS FOR EYE TESTS IMMEDIATELY! 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