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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 19, 1927)
6 T HE B A T T A LION GRATE TALES Who is there among us who have not heard of the famous, mythical Paul Bunyan ? And yet, who knows the straight of the matter ? Lies are lies, but the following is a true ac count of a few of the most interesting incidents in the life and acts of Paul Bunyan. Paul was born on an iceberg in the Anartic Ocean. His father was a blond giant, who had picked a fitting mate from the fair damsels of Den mark, and the two were honeymoon ing among the cool breezes of the bergs, while Paul’s male parent furtively searched for the foot of the Southern Cross so that he might be come famous. And so Paul, by reason of his par ents, inherited large bones and a tendency to become immense. In fact, the Registry office on the berg where he was born gave him an official weight of 25 pounds, which is quite large for a baby. When Paul was two days old, he saw a Polar bear and immediately took a great fancy for it, voicing his desires with great force and intensity. Bunyan, Sr., fared forth and captured the playful brute, and the baby and the bear became inseparable compan ions. At the end of his first year of earthly existence, we see that Paul has attained the growth of an ordi nary man, with more than the cor responding amount of wisdom. Never having been bothered with the silly, conventional clothes that mortals affect, his body has become tough and inured to weather conditions, and at all times he might be seen riding calmly about the giant berg, astraddle his bear, and attired only in a l6fh cloth. Paul celebrated his first birthday by breaking large chunks off the berg and throwing them in the water, taking a huge delight in the great geysers that they caused when they fell back in the ocean. These geysers created such huge waves that they caused a typhoon on the Indian ocean, which raged with unabated fury for three weeks. And Paul hurled one of the ice chunks so high that it flew out into space, and being ignited by the tremendous friction, became a flaming comet, clearly discernible here on earth. (Editor’s Note:In spite of the fact that this quaint folk tale is contributed by Prof. Bunker “B. S.,” we may print a second instal ment in the future.) A Full Line of Drugs, Magazines, Candy and Cold Drinks REED & POWERS Confectionery and Drugs * f THE M. H. JAMES • • I «i» 1 4 f DRUG CO. — PHONES — One of our Fish is so dumb that he thinks ram slips are a sort of petti coat to put on sheep during cold weather. “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes” must have been a wonderful help to the peroxide manufacturers. HOLMES BROS Bryan’s Popular CONFECTIONERY STORE Where the Boys Get the Best Malted Milks on Earth Come to See Us Agency for King’s and Whitman’s Candies EASTMAN KODAKS AND KODAK SUPPLIES, PIANOS, VICTROLAS AND RECORDS Crosby, Atwater-Kent, R. C. A. Radios; Agency Remington and Corona Portable Typewriters. Cadet Trade Appreciated. ALL KINDS OF DRAWING INSTRUMENTS AND MATERIALS HASWELL’S BOOK STORE PHONE 14 THEMETROPOLITAN BARBER SHOP Real Service. Call and Sea us. BRYAK, TEXAS EAT A BURGER AT DAD COLE'S When You Are Hungry Between Leggett and Bat- Roost Halls ♦ ♦ * ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ READ BATTALION ADVERTISEMENTS “The fact is, that civili* zation requires slaves. The Greeks were quite right there. Unless there are slaves to do the ugly, horrible, uninteresting work, culture and con templation become almost impossible. Human slavery is wrong, inse cure, and demoralizing. On mechanical slavery, on the slavery of the machine, the future of the world depends.” —Oscar Wilde SLAVES You will find this mono gram on all kinds of electrical machinery. To insure quality, ask for it on equipment when you buy for factory, office, or home. A series of G-K advertise ments showing what electricity is doing in many fields will be sent on request. Ask for book let GEK-18. In a quarter-century the General Electric Company has produced electric motors having a total of more than 350,000,000 man-power. Electric light, heat, and transportation have also contributed their part to the freeing of men. These are America’s slaves. Through their service American workers do more, earn more, and produce quality goods at lower cost than any where else in the world. The college-trained man is the first to grasp these facts which raise man from a mere source of physical power to be a director of power, thus realizing the true economic value of the human mind. " ' '-r ■{> ■% 201-57DH GENERAL ELECTRIC GENERAL ELECTRIC COMPANY SCHENECTADY NEW YORK