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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 10, 1920)
2 THE BA T TAEJON THE BATTALION Published every Saturday night by the students of the Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texas. Subscription Price $1.75 per Year. Advertising rates on application. Member Texas Collegiate Pi'ess Association. ALL ADS RUN UNTIL ORDERED OUT. ,, STAFF. Frank L. Bertschler Editor-in-Chief. W. T. Strange Associate Editor C. *R. Warndof Assistant Editor D. J. Finn Assistant Editor C. C. B. Warden Contributing Editor. ....News Editor J. T. Rollins . • • - Sport Editor. C. Blumenthal Exchange Editor. W W Cox Social Editor. C.' W. ‘ Thomas ’‘ - • ^ si stant Editor. G. A. Denison Staff Photographer E. G. Jackson Cartoonist Mrs. A. T. Potts Campus Editor Miss Nell Pryor Assistant Campus Editor Bill King • Business Manager. F. P. Buie . . Circulation Manager. S.' C." Evans . Assistant Circulation Manager. Entered as second-class matter at College Station, Texas, Feb. 17, 1905. THE HOLIDAYS. The days are numbered • until we go home for the Christmas vacation and many clubs are making extensive plans for entertainments and social activities that will attract favorable attention to the College. It is urged^ that every locality club make an effort to favorably impress the vicinity from which its members come with A. and M. Many High School students aie soon to receive diplomas at the mid-year commencements. See that such students in your home city are informed as to the advantages A. and M. has to offer. If you are proud of your school, and every student here has full right to be so, let others know of it. If you have a collection of Campus photographs, place them on display in your home town. If you are from an affiliated High School, find out if The Battalion goes to its library. If it does not, Jet us know on your return and we will help you to get it there. Maye your holidays mean something to A. and M. as well as to yourself. JUST TO REMIND YOU. During the past session at a special ceremony fifty-two live oak trees were set out in memory of the Gold Stars in the A. and M. service flag. Re cently we have observed students playing games in the vicinity of these trees and in the excitement of the activities, thoughtlessly running over these young plants. While some of the other ornamentals have been bioken and severely injured, none of the memorial trees have yet .suffered from such causes. Yet, in order that new students, who possibly do not know the sig nificance of the young oaks on the drive from Guion Hall to the Main Gate way, may not unconsciously destroy some of these trees, we wish to caution them in regard to these plantings as well as others just being set out. It is difficult to grow trees in this locality and in order to make the Campus as beautiful as possible, we should make every effort to protect such orna mentals as we may have. THE M. E. STUDENTS. The manner in which the students in the Department of Mechanical Engineex-ing turned out and helped to salvage the machinery and equipment in the debris of the burned laboratory hai> been the cause of much favorable comment among the students as well as authorities of the College. We are glad to observe that personal pleasures and convenience are readily thrust aside when A. and M. needs her students. It is^the spirit of A. and M. that the School comes first and the individual afterwards. ^ ^ SNITCHED FROM THE MAILS or THE INSIDE DOPE ON THE FIRE. (An actual letter sent by an A. and M. student to one of our “Exes”— a fair example of Aggie letter writing). Sunday, 12 Hours After Breakfast. Dear “Bud”: Now fire up the old exameter for there is lots of work ahead. “Separ ating the bull from the truth.” Have been intending “Airing” you out for a trifle for the last few years or days. You know now-a-days seem like years, for Christmas is coming—soon. What do you think Santa Claus will bring you ? A horse, I hope—but don’t let him get away, Bud! as you said the Dutchman’s horse did. Anyway, I am getting rather up town to be associating with you birds. I am getting to be rather a character ai’ound here, turning in fire alarms, eating quail, writing other birds’ girls—in fact doing most everything including receiving special delivery letters—No!” The latest—This a. m. abodt 4:40 A. D. (after dark) I was very ruth lessly awakened from my morning- slumbers by a premonition that all was not as it should be. In other words, “Something was the matter in Denmark.” Very quickly collecting my suits and bed clothes, I sprang from my couch of slumber and gazed upon a scene that was apt to strike terror into the hearts of most any one except a Casual.. Before me was a young conflagration in the very embryo. It was only a matter of a portion of a second for me to realize the opportunity which had been thrust xxpon me. And I was very quick to sieze this opportunity and with the very inmost power of artic ulation in me I began the time-worn and often repeated chant of: “Fire!” Upon the first utterance of this magic combination of letters, my Honorable Opponent (I mean room-mate) Mr. J. Chenowyth Baldwin, angel child, Woods Dykes, very roughly and forc ibly ordered me to retire to my boudoir and cease my prattle as I was only suffei’ing from tbe effects of a hallucination that roams about the dai’k hours of the day in other words: “For God’s sake; put it between the sheets, you are having a nightmare!” But not to be outdone I very quickly '!showed him the reason for my quiet actions. Befoi’e us was a fii’e. We both, believing in the adage that there is strength in union, joined forces and repeated the words. In this way we succeeded in arousing the student body. Then I turned my at tention to spreading the alarm to the steam plant. As my room-mate was still crying fire, I decided to attire myself in the wearing apparel that best suited the occasion. The most appropriate I could find was a pair of carpet slippers. These I quickly donned, and after completing some seven and a half complete revolu tions about the mahogony tin cov ed table, I was at last off for the races. As I had gained great momen tum as I approached the elevator, I decided I had best take the stairs as the elevator - was on the 39th floor and it would not be down for some 3-1000 of a second. L could save time by us ing the stairs, as I was gaining mo mentum at the time. I was forced to leave the Sth turn without having- time to impede the acceleration at tained. The friction between the sole of my shoes and the floor was not ad equate to produce the desired results. The consequences were that I very forcibly took a position with my feet pointing south, and my head north, my face was upward and the other'—well,- the floor was pressing against me. Quickly gaining my feet and senses I proceeded onward. You know the old saying, “If at first you don’t suc ceed, try, try, again!” I did. Well sir, as I was about to say, I continu ed my journey toward my goal. Af ter jumping over some thousand quagmires, pitfalls, etc., I passed over the great highway that acts as a par tition between Milner apartments and the bat roost. Then I knew I had ac complished half my journey. Very quickly side-stepping four houses, six chicken coops and numerous other small obstacles I saw in the dim dis tance one of the 2 1-3 cazxdle power search lights maintained in the base ment of the steam plant. At this junction of the journey, I felt my strength ebbing very fast. But I could not give up. With victory only a few rods away, I took my courage into consideration, pajama breeches in one hand, and weighing the conse quences of failure in the other, I de cided I must go on. Stumbling, half blinded by tears that were forming in j my eyes as the result of what ; would happen if I failed, and smoke, j I proceeded onwax-d fighting against the odds. But Bud! You know we never g-ive up! I rushed madly on up to the entx-ance to the steam plant and as I opened the door, the operator in chax-g-e very quickly recognized that something was out of the ordinary. Now this operator is due great credit for his initiative and ability to act upon his own initiative, for upon my work he knew nothing more than I told him and also that he could see on the horizon an illumination that was causing great crowds to gather, in cluding the fii'e department. I simply murmured the words, “The Mechanical Engineering Machine Shop is being consumed by wx-athy, envelop ing flaixies.” Very quickly he grasped the situation and preceded to give the general alarm by sounding great piercing blood curdling, cx-owd produc ing shrieks from the conflagration an nouncer. Then I hied myself back- wai*d over my course to my place of abode. This time I was able to take my time and wait 1-10000 of a second for the elevator. As I stepped upon the threshold of this great uplifting- incentive, I was hurled heaven-wai'd- ly at the rate of many miles per sec ond. As I was goixxg to my apart ments I xvithdrew from the elevator at the 31st floor. Very quickly I re turned to my rooxxx and room-mate. There I found everything in constex*- nation. But using the great power of will that I had acquired after ten les sons under the great and learned Dr. Bx-ackett, P.H.D. (Post Hole Digger), I quickly calmed them by assuring one and all that I was back and that the building went down, I too would go down—just before it did—unless the elevator broke. This produced the desired results and all was as calm as a wasp nest when you throw a X'ock against it. As I then recognized I was master of the situation I began to give ox-ders in a clear and concise tone. First I ordered Mr. Dykes to clothe his semi-nude figure in some sort of gar ments. This he did while I did like wise. Having finished befox'e Dykes fully compi-ehended the assertion I began to safely stow away the few valuable earthly possessions which we call oar own. First came the pictures from their px'esent locations upon the dividing and enclosing boundaxdes of our boudouir. Next came the soux-ce of illumination, the only rival of Sol, known in engineex'ing circles as a Maz da, which formex-ly gx'aced the E. E. building but had recently been acqxxir- ed by conquest. This was followed by numerous suits, (very expensive gar ments); yes, sir! I say expexxsive for B. V. D.’s cash $1.98 now. Then I be gan to figure and calcxxlate with the help of a battei'y of slide rules and log'Wrfthmie ta^es rthat jl s»ukh D<^e. into coixsideration the Stater ;propeiTV that had beeix entrusted to our care. Also because we had oxxly x-ecently signed our names upon a parchment that as “Christian gentlemen we would return to the College all state property that was placed in the rooms for our miserableness and discomfoxxt.” and they still have those slips of parchmexxt in the office of the Com- mandaixt. Therefore, as we would probably be the last living mortals to leave our room, how could we prove conclusively that those pieces of prop erty had been left in the room and consumed by the great fiend ? So I vex-y quickly withdrew the contents of the mechaxxical invention xxsed for withholding the wind mill punch, simply by the process of inversion, axxd px-oceeded to impregnate it to its ut most capacity with earthly raiment, and shoes. Next came the great cleansixxg machine, the wash basin. This we disposed of by seex'eting it in one of the confining portions of our invisible, collapsible wardrobes— as seen only in the Austin apartments. Then I discovered, with great hori*ox’, that I had forgotten in my hour of excitement and great hurry, to make proper disposition of our “canned music producer,” the Victox'ola. This I quickly hid in one of the shaving- mugs. Then we were ready to with draw to another place of abode in case the great fiend should desire to reek his vengeance upon us and de stroy oxxr place of domicile. But such was not the case. With the px’oper pursuasion and sufficient quantities of the elements the great conflagra tion was bx-ought under contx'ol and then in a couple of houx-s, it finally gave up the ghost and with one nxighty puff, blew away like a quail when your automatic goes off before you get the px’oper bead on him and then won’t automatic for a second shot. The great organization called the fire de partment, succeeded ixx saving the lot, one well and half the concrete floor'. They were all rewarded by receiving- leather medals, while I was awarded the greatest honors and tx'ophies im aginable, Ten demex'its for raising a distui'bance on the Campus with only a fire as the reason, and a lax*ge cel luloid fix’e helmet. I was also be decked with the following monaker: Coo-Coo, the Human Fire Alarm!” Of course, Bud, far be it from me to insinuate that I am a hero, but it be hooves me gx'eatly to not let the great opportunity pass over to bring this i ♦J* *i» *!♦ »i* 4* 'k ’I* "i* 'i* ❖ The greatest truth may lie in smallest things, The greatest good in what we most despise, *k The greatest light may break -k from dax*kest skies, ❖ The greatest chord from e’en *k the weakest strings. ❖ —Cheix'o. *-*< *.♦«* -*£♦ •*£♦ +$*- -*$* •*■£*■ before the eyes of the woi'ld, hence this conglomeration and issuance of bull. Here’s hoping this finds you in the best of spirits including the Hill Bi-os.” Write us Bud. Yours, “DOC” GARRITY. THE END OF THE RACE. They sat alone in the moonlight. She soothed his tx'oubled bx-ow; “Deax'est, I know my life’s been fast Bxxt I’m on my last lap now.” —Tigexx GATHERED FRAGMENTS. 1. I Soppa Towelle. 2. I Clippa Pate. 3. Wanta Massage. 4. U Needa Singe. * 3: You sing a little song or By Severxx, Saunders and Menke. The following fx-aternities wex*e in stalled at the Lavender Barber Shop recently: —Jade. You have a little chat. You make a little candy fudge And then you take your hat. You hold her hand and say “good night”, As sweetly as you can. Ain’t that a helxxva an evening For a gx-eat big healthy man? * * * Old Stuff. A ixxother sees her daughter Jazzin’ round in fifes mad whixd, Aixd says, “they never did such things When yoxxr ma was a girl.” And yet, when her ma was a gix'l, Axxd stepped a mean Virginia Reel Poor grandma probably threw a fit And handed her the saixxe old spiel. —Sundial. ifc * * “It helps to fill out”, said the Co ed as she slipped on her heavy wool en stockings. * * * Thcfx'e was once a young gii'l named > Estelle Who\was generally thought to be 11 crpwfc seen J _ jy, ToTbe awfully keen, But c|n a date by her lonesome—oh, Ifelle. —J ade. :J: * * The /Shortest Poem on College Life. Matriculation Examination Elimation. —Jade. j * * * On (Monday she smiled as she passed J me by, On Tuesday she sighed as we pass- I ed. On Wednesday we spoke and I ask ed for a date On Thursday was glad that I ask ed ; On Friday we wandered to town to a show Soxxxe passing enjoyment to seek; On Sunday—how grand! I held her small hand— Oh, for an eighth day in the week. —Puppet. * * The Robber. “You had to hold xxxe up to do it,” said the sweet young thing after the big, tall man had stolen a kiss.” —Frivol. * * * Ella: “I cant find my bathing suit anywhere.” Stella: “See if you have it on.” —Bantei\ Jk He, with detex’mination: “I intend to kiss you before I leave this house” She, indignantly: “Leave my house immediately, Sir.” —Jade. We have just received a lax'ge ship- nt of all sizes in Herman genuine xx'doixan offxcex's shoes, and on ac- unt of their coining in late we will elude them in our big reduction le at reduced prices—all sizes and idths. A. M. Waldrop & Co. ♦♦♦ •}-* *J* 4> 4' 4* ❖ ❖ 4* 4* ‘•b 4* 4‘ 4* -k ❖ The member's of the Dallas Club extend a hearty invitation to all A. and M. men who may be in Dallas on December 27 to attend their Christmas dance to be given at Lake Cliff on that date. ■*£* ♦i 4 ->*♦ +■£+ -y* Special Sale Of Fine Serge Uniforms - ^ In order to close out our stock ot tine regulation seig'e uniforms before January 1st, we have placed o nsale all of our serge uniforms which have been selling this season at $37.50/for a few days at $28.50 L New shipment of Sheep Lined Coats just received. All sizes. 20% reduction on all Herman’s Army Shoes. All Hart SchalTner & Marx tine Suits and Over Coats at wholesale cost. A. M. WALDROP & CO. THE STORE FOR YOUNG MEN The Elite Confectionery —FOR— COLD DRINKS, CANDY, CIGARS, ETC. When in Bryan the Boys Are Invited to Visit Us Griesser & Thomsen ANYTHING ELECTRICAL Electric Supplies, Fans, Heaters, Packard Mazda Lamps (regulation), Desk Lights, Shades and Flashlights. *%> MAIN STREET BRYAN, TEXAS PHONE 23 Guy Royett’s Store r NORTH OF CAMPUS NEAR INTERURBAN HERE FOR THIRTY YEARS—OLDEST AT THE BUST NESS BUT LIVER THAN EVER BEFORE Tobaccos of all Kinds STATIONERY \ Toilet Articles GIVE US A CALL AND TRY OUR SERVICE •» I C. S. Martin MEAT MARKET Fresh Meats, Fish, Oysters, Eggs, Butter. Delivery leaves for College every morning at 9 o’clock except j. Sunday. \ \ 2—PHONES—471 1 i us i •i* •£• | BRYAN TIRE & REPAIR J t COMPANY :: &■ 4. •» • • ■ > .. • • • • Tires,. Tubes, Gasoline, Oils !! and Ail Kinds of Vul- ’! 4 canismg I ■§» « 1 H. G. Umland, Prop. 4.4.4.4.4.44. a. McKenzie WATCHES and JEWELRY • | Pathe and Claxtonola Talking !! Machines Cadets are invited to call and see our lines JNO. S. CALDWELL * * ■* *• *■ *• *■ *■ Optician Office: Caldwell’s Jewelry J Store * *■ Bryan, . . . . • . Texas ■¥■