2
THE BA T TAEJON
THE BATTALION
Published every Saturday night by the students of the Agricultural and
Mechanical College of Texas.
Subscription Price $1.75 per Year.
Advertising rates on application.
Member Texas Collegiate Pi'ess Association.
ALL ADS RUN UNTIL ORDERED OUT.
,, STAFF.
Frank L. Bertschler Editor-in-Chief.
W. T. Strange Associate Editor
C. *R. Warndof Assistant Editor
D. J. Finn Assistant Editor
C. C. B. Warden Contributing Editor.
....News Editor
J. T. Rollins . • • - Sport Editor.
C. Blumenthal Exchange Editor.
W W Cox Social Editor.
C.' W. ‘ Thomas ’‘ - • ^ si stant Editor.
G. A. Denison Staff Photographer
E. G. Jackson Cartoonist
Mrs. A. T. Potts Campus Editor
Miss Nell Pryor Assistant Campus Editor
Bill King • Business Manager.
F. P. Buie . . Circulation Manager.
S.' C." Evans . Assistant Circulation Manager.
Entered as second-class matter at College Station, Texas, Feb. 17, 1905.
THE HOLIDAYS.
The days are numbered • until we go home for the Christmas vacation
and many clubs are making extensive plans for entertainments and social
activities that will attract favorable attention to the College. It is urged^
that every locality club make an effort to favorably impress the vicinity from
which its members come with A. and M. Many High School students aie
soon to receive diplomas at the mid-year commencements. See that such
students in your home city are informed as to the advantages A. and M. has
to offer. If you are proud of your school, and every student here has full
right to be so, let others know of it. If you have a collection of Campus
photographs, place them on display in your home town. If you are from an
affiliated High School, find out if The Battalion goes to its library. If it
does not, Jet us know on your return and we will help you to get it there.
Maye your holidays mean something to A. and M. as well as to yourself.
JUST TO REMIND YOU.
During the past session at a special ceremony fifty-two live oak trees
were set out in memory of the Gold Stars in the A. and M. service flag. Re
cently we have observed students playing games in the vicinity of these trees
and in the excitement of the activities, thoughtlessly running over these
young plants. While some of the other ornamentals have been bioken and
severely injured, none of the memorial trees have yet .suffered from such
causes. Yet, in order that new students, who possibly do not know the sig
nificance of the young oaks on the drive from Guion Hall to the Main Gate
way, may not unconsciously destroy some of these trees, we wish to caution
them in regard to these plantings as well as others just being set out. It is
difficult to grow trees in this locality and in order to make the Campus as
beautiful as possible, we should make every effort to protect such orna
mentals as we may have.
THE M. E. STUDENTS.
The manner in which the students in the Department of Mechanical
Engineex-ing turned out and helped to salvage the machinery and equipment
in the debris of the burned laboratory hai> been the cause of much favorable
comment among the students as well as authorities of the College. We are
glad to observe that personal pleasures and convenience are readily thrust
aside when A. and M. needs her students. It is^the spirit of A. and M. that
the School comes first and the individual afterwards. ^ ^
SNITCHED FROM THE MAILS
or
THE INSIDE DOPE ON THE FIRE.
(An actual letter sent by an A. and
M. student to one of our “Exes”—
a fair example of Aggie letter
writing).
Sunday, 12 Hours After Breakfast.
Dear “Bud”:
Now fire up the old exameter for
there is lots of work ahead. “Separ
ating the bull from the truth.” Have
been intending “Airing” you out for
a trifle for the last few years or days.
You know now-a-days seem like
years, for Christmas is coming—soon.
What do you think Santa Claus will
bring you ? A horse, I hope—but
don’t let him get away, Bud! as you
said the Dutchman’s horse did.
Anyway, I am getting rather up
town to be associating with you birds.
I am getting to be rather a character
ai’ound here, turning in fire alarms,
eating quail, writing other birds’
girls—in fact doing most everything
including receiving special delivery
letters—No!”
The latest—This a. m. abodt 4:40
A. D. (after dark) I was very ruth
lessly awakened from my morning-
slumbers by a premonition that all
was not as it should be. In other
words, “Something was the matter in
Denmark.” Very quickly collecting
my suits and bed clothes, I sprang
from my couch of slumber and gazed
upon a scene that was apt to strike
terror into the hearts of most any
one except a Casual.. Before me was
a young conflagration in the very
embryo. It was only a matter of a
portion of a second for me to realize
the opportunity which had been
thrust xxpon me. And I was very
quick to sieze this opportunity and
with the very inmost power of artic
ulation in me I began the time-worn
and often repeated chant of: “Fire!”
Upon the first utterance of this magic
combination of letters, my Honorable
Opponent (I mean room-mate) Mr.
J. Chenowyth Baldwin, angel child,
Woods Dykes, very roughly and forc
ibly ordered me to retire to my
boudoir and cease my prattle as I was
only suffei’ing from tbe effects of a
hallucination that roams about the
dai’k hours of the day in other words:
“For God’s sake; put it between the
sheets, you are having a nightmare!”
But not to be outdone I very quickly
'!showed him the reason for my quiet
actions. Befoi’e us was a fii’e. We
both, believing in the adage that
there is strength in union, joined
forces and repeated the words. In
this way we succeeded in arousing the
student body. Then I turned my at
tention to spreading the alarm to the
steam plant. As my room-mate was
still crying fire, I decided to attire
myself in the wearing apparel that
best suited the occasion. The most
appropriate I could find was a pair of
carpet slippers. These I quickly
donned, and after completing some
seven and a half complete revolu
tions about the mahogony tin cov
ed table, I was at last off for the
races. As I had gained great momen
tum as I approached the elevator, I
decided I had best take the stairs as
the elevator - was on the 39th floor and
it would not be down for some 3-1000
of a second. L could save time by us
ing the stairs, as I was gaining mo
mentum at the time. I was forced to
leave the Sth turn without having-
time to impede the acceleration at
tained. The friction between the sole
of my shoes and the floor was not ad
equate to produce the desired results.
The consequences were that I very
forcibly took a position with my feet
pointing south, and my head north, my
face was upward and the other'—well,-
the floor was pressing against me.
Quickly gaining my feet and senses
I proceeded onward. You know the
old saying, “If at first you don’t suc
ceed, try, try, again!” I did. Well
sir, as I was about to say, I continu
ed my journey toward my goal. Af
ter jumping over some thousand
quagmires, pitfalls, etc., I passed over
the great highway that acts as a par
tition between Milner apartments and
the bat roost. Then I knew I had ac
complished half my journey. Very
quickly side-stepping four houses, six
chicken coops and numerous other
small obstacles I saw in the dim dis
tance one of the 2 1-3 cazxdle power
search lights maintained in the base
ment of the steam plant. At this
junction of the journey, I felt my
strength ebbing very fast. But I
could not give up. With victory only
a few rods away, I took my courage
into consideration, pajama breeches
in one hand, and weighing the conse
quences of failure in the other, I de
cided I must go on. Stumbling, half
blinded by tears that were forming in
j my eyes as the result of what
; would happen if I failed, and smoke,
j I proceeded onwax-d fighting against
the odds. But Bud! You know we
never g-ive up! I rushed madly on up
to the entx-ance to the steam plant and
as I opened the door, the operator in
chax-g-e very quickly recognized that
something was out of the ordinary.
Now this operator is due great credit
for his initiative and ability to act
upon his own initiative, for upon my
work he knew nothing more than I
told him and also that he could see on
the horizon an illumination that was
causing great crowds to gather, in
cluding the fii'e department.
I simply murmured the words, “The
Mechanical Engineering Machine Shop
is being consumed by wx-athy, envelop
ing flaixies.” Very quickly he grasped
the situation and preceded to give the
general alarm by sounding great
piercing blood curdling, cx-owd produc
ing shrieks from the conflagration an
nouncer. Then I hied myself back-
wai*d over my course to my place of
abode. This time I was able to take
my time and wait 1-10000 of a second
for the elevator. As I stepped upon
the threshold of this great uplifting-
incentive, I was hurled heaven-wai'd-
ly at the rate of many miles per sec
ond. As I was goixxg to my apart
ments I xvithdrew from the elevator
at the 31st floor. Very quickly I re
turned to my rooxxx and room-mate.
There I found everything in constex*-
nation. But using the great power of
will that I had acquired after ten les
sons under the great and learned Dr.
Bx-ackett, P.H.D. (Post Hole Digger),
I quickly calmed them by assuring
one and all that I was back and that
the building went down, I too would
go down—just before it did—unless
the elevator broke. This produced the
desired results and all was as calm as
a wasp nest when you throw a X'ock
against it. As I then recognized I was
master of the situation I began to give
ox-ders in a clear and concise tone. First
I ordered Mr. Dykes to clothe his
semi-nude figure in some sort of gar
ments. This he did while I did like
wise. Having finished befox'e Dykes
fully compi-ehended the assertion I
began to safely stow away the few
valuable earthly possessions which we
call oar own. First came the pictures
from their px'esent locations upon the
dividing and enclosing boundaxdes of
our boudouir. Next came the soux-ce
of illumination, the only rival of Sol,
known in engineex'ing circles as a Maz
da, which formex-ly gx'aced the E. E.
building but had recently been acqxxir-
ed by conquest. This was followed by
numerous suits, (very expensive gar
ments); yes, sir! I say expexxsive for
B. V. D.’s cash $1.98 now. Then I be
gan to figure and calcxxlate with the
help of a battei'y of slide rules and
log'Wrfthmie ta^es rthat jl s»ukh D<^e.
into coixsideration the Stater ;propeiTV
that had beeix entrusted to our care.
Also because we had oxxly x-ecently
signed our names upon a parchment
that as “Christian gentlemen we
would return to the College all state
property that was placed in the rooms
for our miserableness and discomfoxxt.”
and they still have those slips of
parchmexxt in the office of the Com-
mandaixt. Therefore, as we would
probably be the last living mortals to
leave our room, how could we prove
conclusively that those pieces of prop
erty had been left in the room and
consumed by the great fiend ? So I
vex-y quickly withdrew the contents
of the mechaxxical invention xxsed for
withholding the wind mill punch,
simply by the process of inversion, axxd
px-oceeded to impregnate it to its ut
most capacity with earthly raiment,
and shoes. Next came the great
cleansixxg machine, the wash basin.
This we disposed of by seex'eting it in
one of the confining portions of our
invisible, collapsible wardrobes—
as seen only in the Austin apartments.
Then I discovered, with great hori*ox’,
that I had forgotten in my hour of
excitement and great hurry, to make
proper disposition of our “canned
music producer,” the Victox'ola. This
I quickly hid in one of the shaving-
mugs. Then we were ready to with
draw to another place of abode in
case the great fiend should desire to
reek his vengeance upon us and de
stroy oxxr place of domicile. But such
was not the case. With the px’oper
pursuasion and sufficient quantities
of the elements the great conflagra
tion was bx-ought under contx'ol and
then in a couple of houx-s, it finally
gave up the ghost and with one nxighty
puff, blew away like a quail when
your automatic goes off before you
get the px’oper bead on him and then
won’t automatic for a second shot. The
great organization called the fire de
partment, succeeded ixx saving the lot,
one well and half the concrete floor'.
They were all rewarded by receiving-
leather medals, while I was awarded
the greatest honors and tx'ophies im
aginable, Ten demex'its for raising a
distui'bance on the Campus with only
a fire as the reason, and a lax*ge cel
luloid fix’e helmet. I was also be
decked with the following monaker:
Coo-Coo, the Human Fire Alarm!”
Of course, Bud, far be it from me
to insinuate that I am a hero, but it be
hooves me gx'eatly to not let the great
opportunity pass over to bring this
i ♦J* *i» *!♦ »i* 4* 'k ’I* "i* 'i*
❖
The greatest truth may lie in
smallest things,
The greatest good in what we
most despise,
*k The greatest light may break
-k from dax*kest skies,
❖ The greatest chord from e’en
*k the weakest strings.
❖ —Cheix'o.
*-*< *.♦«* -*£♦ •*£♦ +$*- -*$* •*■£*■
before the eyes of the woi'ld, hence
this conglomeration and issuance
of bull.
Here’s hoping this finds you in the
best of spirits including the Hill
Bi-os.”
Write us Bud.
Yours,
“DOC” GARRITY.
THE END OF THE RACE.
They sat alone in the moonlight.
She soothed his tx'oubled bx-ow;
“Deax'est, I know my life’s been fast
Bxxt I’m on my last lap now.”
—Tigexx
GATHERED FRAGMENTS.
1.
I Soppa Towelle.
2.
I Clippa Pate.
3.
Wanta Massage.
4.
U Needa Singe.
* 3:
You
sing a little song or
By Severxx, Saunders and Menke.
The following fx-aternities wex*e in
stalled at the Lavender Barber Shop
recently:
—Jade.
You have a little chat.
You make a little candy fudge
And then you take your hat.
You hold her hand and say “good
night”,
As sweetly as you can.
Ain’t that a helxxva an evening
For a gx-eat big healthy man?
* * *
Old Stuff.
A ixxother sees her daughter
Jazzin’ round in fifes mad whixd,
Aixd says, “they never did such things
When yoxxr ma was a girl.”
And yet, when her ma was a gix'l,
Axxd stepped a mean Virginia Reel
Poor grandma probably threw a fit
And handed her the saixxe old spiel.
—Sundial.
ifc * *
“It helps to fill out”, said the Co
ed as she slipped on her heavy wool
en stockings.
* * *
Thcfx'e was once a young gii'l named
> Estelle
Who\was generally thought to be
11
crpwfc seen J _ jy,
ToTbe awfully keen,
But c|n a date by her lonesome—oh,
Ifelle.
—J ade.
:J: * *
The /Shortest Poem on College Life.
Matriculation
Examination
Elimation.
—Jade.
j * * *
On (Monday she smiled as she passed
J me by,
On Tuesday she sighed as we pass-
I ed.
On Wednesday we spoke and I ask
ed for a date
On Thursday was glad that I ask
ed ;
On Friday we wandered to town to a
show
Soxxxe passing enjoyment to seek;
On Sunday—how grand!
I held her small hand—
Oh, for an eighth day in the week.
—Puppet.
* *
The Robber.
“You had to hold xxxe up to do it,”
said the sweet young thing after the
big, tall man had stolen a kiss.”
—Frivol.
* * *
Ella: “I cant find my bathing
suit anywhere.”
Stella: “See if you have it on.”
—Bantei\
Jk
He, with detex’mination: “I intend
to kiss you before I leave this house”
She, indignantly: “Leave my
house immediately, Sir.”
—Jade.
We have just received a lax'ge ship-
nt of all sizes in Herman genuine
xx'doixan offxcex's shoes, and on ac-
unt of their coining in late we will
elude them in our big reduction
le at reduced prices—all sizes and
idths. A. M. Waldrop & Co.
♦♦♦ •}-* *J* 4> 4' 4* ❖ ❖ 4* 4* ‘•b 4* 4‘ 4* -k
❖
The member's of the Dallas
Club extend a hearty invitation
to all A. and M. men who may
be in Dallas on December 27
to attend their Christmas dance
to be given at Lake Cliff on
that date.
■*£* ♦i 4 ->*♦ +■£+ -y*
Special Sale
Of Fine Serge
Uniforms
- ^
In order to close out our stock ot tine regulation seig'e
uniforms before January 1st, we have placed o nsale all of
our serge uniforms which have been selling this season at
$37.50/for a few days at
$28.50
L
New shipment of Sheep Lined Coats just received. All
sizes.
20% reduction on all Herman’s Army Shoes.
All Hart SchalTner & Marx tine Suits and Over Coats
at wholesale cost.
A. M. WALDROP & CO.
THE STORE FOR YOUNG MEN
The Elite Confectionery
—FOR—
COLD DRINKS, CANDY,
CIGARS, ETC.
When in Bryan the Boys Are Invited to Visit Us
Griesser & Thomsen
ANYTHING ELECTRICAL
Electric Supplies, Fans, Heaters, Packard Mazda Lamps
(regulation), Desk Lights, Shades and Flashlights.
*%>
MAIN STREET
BRYAN, TEXAS
PHONE 23
Guy Royett’s Store
r NORTH OF CAMPUS NEAR INTERURBAN
HERE FOR THIRTY YEARS—OLDEST AT THE BUST
NESS BUT LIVER THAN EVER BEFORE
Tobaccos of all Kinds
STATIONERY \
Toilet Articles
GIVE US A CALL AND TRY OUR SERVICE
•»
I
C. S. Martin
MEAT MARKET
Fresh Meats, Fish, Oysters,
Eggs, Butter. Delivery
leaves for College every
morning at 9 o’clock except j.
Sunday. \ \
2—PHONES—471 1
i us i
•i* •£•
| BRYAN TIRE & REPAIR J
t COMPANY ::
&■
4. •»
• •
■ >
..
• •
• •
Tires,. Tubes, Gasoline, Oils !!
and Ail Kinds of Vul- ’!
4 canismg I
■§» « 1
H. G. Umland, Prop.
4.4.4.4.4.44.
a. McKenzie
WATCHES and JEWELRY • |
Pathe and Claxtonola Talking !!
Machines
Cadets are invited to call and
see our lines
JNO. S. CALDWELL
*
*
■*
*•
*■
*•
*■
*■
Optician
Office: Caldwell’s Jewelry J
Store *
*■
Bryan, . . . . • . Texas ■¥■