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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Nov. 7, 2002)
advertisement CAL TOPS ’CANES IN LATEST POL! 1 CAL 2 MIAMI (FL) 3 OKLAHOMA 4 COLORADO 5 TENNESSEE 6 TEXAS 7 FLORIDA STATE 8 FLORIDA 9 I - 10 L 17 NEBRASKA 0':?^' ■ 4i By ' THE The No. 3 Te leer team (13-3 defend its 2001 regular se week in San Championship lime the Aggie title was in 195 win their first-e The 2002 se Must turn off "Injuries' thin Trojans to succeed.Con trolling the playbookisoudi! with l ISC's quarterback 19 BOISE STATE Can the 'Canes repeat? Can the Sooners make it two out of the last three? Who will win the Heisman? How many polygons does a Butkus Award winner get? Where is Berkeley? The answers to these (No. No. Look to Texas. Thousands. Take 1-80 west and follow the signs.) and other pressing ques tions can be found in this year's College Football Top 25 poll: Say hello to the first' Bowl" winner. Increasedfami rates show that thisyearta boys are on their way up. [and downs. Tin [unbeaten streal for consecutivi The streak stai matches in a (record for mos With the 5 Texas Friday season title, tb end of the Bij ble-dip. Now been met, the the next step i “We’re re as rest of the w; Guerrieri. “W Tournament) t The Aggies 20 AUBURN 1 CAL Tex* Paid Advertisment 11 \ 12 A 13 C 14 C 15 V 16 L 17 N 18 U 19 B 20 A 21 Si 22 M Can I ’I After Abortion? Theresa Karminski Burke, Ph.D. Many women choose abortion in an effort to save their relationship or “keep” a boyfriend from leaving. Sometimes this choice is the result of an outright threat of abandonment if the woman won’t “do the right thing” and abort. Other times, the pressure is more subtle: “It’s your decision, but....” Unfortunately, all the evidence shows that abortion to “save a relationship” almost never works. Most relationships between unmarried couples come apart shortly after an abortion. Others survive only because the partners are still bound together by grief. These relationships often turn into prolonged, mutual ly destructive mourning rituals. Even married couples are often driven apart by an abortion unless they can find a way to complete the grieving process together. Abortion breeds anger, resentment, and bitterness toward the partner who was not supportive or who ignored their partner’s desire to keep the baby. At the same time, there is often tremendous pressure in the relationship to conceal one’s true feelings of grief or guilt. This can especially be a problem for men, who are often taught to hide their emotions. Men may also feel oblig ated to appear “strong” so as not to upset the woman any further. Men can be affected by abortion in many of the same ways as women. Many men have reported post-abortion problems such as feelings of grief, helplessness and guilt; sexual dysfunction; substance abuse; self-hatred; fear of relationships; risk-taking and suicidal behavior; depression; greater tendencies toward becoming angry and violent; and a sense of lost manhood. When either women or men carry the emotional baggage of an unresolved abortion into a subsequent relationship, it can cause trouble in subtle and even dramatic ways. This is especially a problem when they keep the abortion a secret Irom their spouses, who are then unable to understand their emotional cycles. The distortions in behavior that result when spouses keep secrets from each other can he devastating to a marriage. At the very least, the “need” to keep a past abortion secret prevents couples from giving and receiving unconditional love. This deprives the relationship of the opportunity to reach its full potential. It is no coincidence that the abortion rate and the domestic violence rate have risen almost side by side. Abortion, for both women and men, is associa ed with self-hatred, self-punishing behavior, and an increased tendency to act out anger and rage toward others. A woman who is self-destructive or suicidal, but afraid to deliberately harm herself, may be more likely to become involved with a violent man. A violent relationship may allow her both to express her own rage and to expert ence what she unconsciously feels is the “punishment I deserve. Because o self-hatred and low self-esteem, she may remain in the relationship because she thinks she doesn’t deserve anything better. Certainly, there are many other causes of domestic violence. But substan tial statistical evidence and many case studies show that abortion is contribut ing to this national tragedy. Until these women and men are provided with an environment that pro motes post-abortion healing, they are likely to remain trapped in these cycles of violence. Dr. Theresa Karminski Burke is a psychotherapist and founder of Rachel s Vineyard^ Supporting atohons are posted at www.afterubor1.oao*, 23 T] Are You Suffering from Post-Abortion Stress? 24 L< 25 PI Ql: Do you find yourself struggling to turn off feelings or memories related to your abortion(s)? Do you need to keep reminding yourself to just forget it or put it behind you? Do you become uncomfortable around reminders of the abortion, such as being around babies or pregnant women, being in a doctor’s office, or when hearing news reports about abortion? tion? Is your abortion a secret that is holding you back from greater intimacy with others? When you do choose to share your abortion experience with others, are you overcome with strong feelings such as anger, grief, or guilt? Is there an increased distance between you and your parents, siblings, or partner because of the past abortion(s)? do talk about it, do you find it hard to respect opposing views, or do you become overly emotional, either in support of or in opposi tion to it? isWiAViPra Q2: Do you feel nervous or anxious at the idea of telling a loved one about your abor- Q3: Do you have trouble talking about the abortion issue as a political issue? When you Q4: Do you tend to look at life in terms of before and “after” the abortion(s)? Are there traits about your “self’ before the abor tion that you lost but would wish to regain? Has the abortion changed the way you look at yourself? Have you lost interest in taking care of yourself? Have you ^ t0 attractive to avoid fte risk involved in a relationship, Q5; Do you become angry 0 more easily? , „ re conn ei: Have you experienced fl your abortion, such as nlg hearing hacks, or hallucinations, such a baby cry? conli' luel * l,n ^ The "Officially Licen. exclusive property of Club of New York Cii developed by Red Zor Page 6 afterabortion.org Ell i oT INST ]T« lopg A N