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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Nov. 7, 2002)
advertisement CAL TOPS ’CANES IN LATEST POLL 1 CAL 2 MIAMI (FL) 3 OKLAHOMA 4 COLORADO 5 TENNESSEE 6 TEXAS 7 FLORIDA STATE lust avenge the CU mauling^ be.u the OklahomaSoonersfc all to he right inHuskerland. 18 use Must turn off "Injuries” f thin Trojans to succeed, trolling the playbookiscmtial with l ISC's quarterback. 19 BOISE STATE 8 FLORIDA Can the 'Canes repeat? Can the Sooners make it two out of the last three? Who will win the Heisman? How many polygons does a Butkus Award winner get? Where is Berkeley? The answers to these (No. No. Look to Texas. Thousands. Take I-80 west and follow the signs.) and other pressing ques tions can be found in this year's College Football Top 25 poll: Say hello to the first Bowl' winner. In creased fam rates show that this yearthai boys are on their way up. 20 AUBURN The No. 3 Te ce r team (15-3 defend its 2001 2002 regular se week in San Championship time the Aggie title was in 199 win their first-e The 2002 se and downs. Th< unbeaten streal for consecutivi The streak star matches in a record for mos With the Ag 5 Texas Friday season title, tb end of the Bq ble-dip. Now been met, the the next step i “We're re as rest of the w; Guerrieri. “W I Tournament) t The Aggies 1 CAL Tex* 9 I 10 L 11 V 12 ✓ oC.l * A * (ft! 13 c 14 o 15 V 16 L 17 N 18 U; 19 Bt 20 A\ 21 SC 22 M 23 TI 24 L( 25 PE Paid Advertisment Judith Evans tuyinc to Survive My childhood was brutal. 1 was abandoned by my father when I was two-and-a-half. Then when he reappeared in my life again at the age of eight, it became worse. I survived incest, starvation, and beatings. I clung to life. It was my two abortions that nearly destroyed me. When 1 became pregnant for the fifth time in seven years, my doctor asked me if I really thought I should "continue the preg nancy." Abortion had never occurred to me until he suggested it. My husband said, "It's your decision. Do what you want," and left for work. Naively, I began looking for women who had had abor tions. But 1 couldn't find anyone who would admit to having had one. I asked my doctor and he said, "It only takes a few minutes and it’s over." Having already had four babies, I am now appalled at how ignorant 1 was about fetal development. My doctor said the baby—at six-and-a-half weeks—was "just a blob," and I believed him. Afterwards, before I even got home, I began to cry. It didn't help. When finally I stopped crying on the out side, I kept crying on the inside. I felt so dirty and alone. Something deep inside of me froze, I think. I dreamed a lot about snow and ice, as well as about babies. I felt cheat ed, betrayed, and manipulated. I went to counseling and the psychologist said, "forgive yourself," and "let yourself go on." She didn’t say how. Two years later, I had another abortion as an act of self-punishment. 1 wanted to die, or at least go crazy so 1 could escape the tor ment, the nightmares about babies, the self disgust and the degradation I felt. • • • • • I wasn't told that there could be compli cations which wouldn't be discovered for years. I wasn't told that the strength of the suction machine is such that it can turn a uterus nearly completely inside out. I had to have an early hysterectomy because of it. I wasn't told that after having an abortion an unbelievable self-hatred would consume me and lead to distrust, suspicion, and the utter inability to care about myself or oth ers—including my four children. I wasn't told that hearing babies cry would trigger such anger that I wouldn't be able to be around babies at all. I wasn't told that it would become impos sible to look at my own eyes in a mirror. Or that my confidence would be so shaken that I would become unable to make important life decisions. My self-hatred kept me from pur suing my goal of becoming a registered nurse. I didn't think I deserved success. I wasn't told that I would come to hate all those who advised me to have my abortions. because they were my accomplices in the murders of my babies. I wasn't told that hav ing an abortion with my husband’s consent would end up causing me to /late the father of my children, or that I would be unable to sustain ANY satisfying, lasting, fulfilling relationships. I wasn't told that I could become suicidal in the fall of every year, when both of my babies should have been born. I wasn't told that on the birthdays of my living children, I would remember the two for whom I would never make a birthday cake, or that on Mother's Day I would remember the two who would never send me a card, or that every Christmas I would remember the two for whom there would be no presents. My abortions were supposed to be a "quick-fix" for my problems, but they didn't tell me there is no "quick-fix" for regrets. • • • • • I went to a psychiatric hospital and they gave me shock treatments. They didn't help. The nightmares continued. I became a workaholic. Work didn't help. I became a compulsive eater. Food didn't help. I became an anorexic as another form of self-punishment. That came close to killing me; I had two strokes. I tried alcohol. It only helped temporari ly. The torment would still be there" ' woke up. That effort to escape the] lasted two months. Three things finally helped FirstT ticipated in a ten-week post-abortion program. It was incredible! It did so for me. u] Second, I took the training to help - others through the post-abortion he ' gram. Every time I lead a group. the miracle of God’s mercy restonn? ■ ■ to these women’s lives. Tliathas ef Third, in September of 19971^' phone call at two in the morning r Texas had seen a brochure contaim , ^ testimony. She was scheduled to a abortion at three o’clock theneX . talked until five in the mormng ' called back and said she had deu ‘ having the abortion. ^ Finally. I knew with cermniy *' had used my experience to save s ^ else from making my ternble mi helped a lot. ■ \ Healing does not mean org^ always regret what I did. an miss my babies until the day in Heaven. But I know now ^ every part of our lives, even th to allow us to help others Praise the Lord. He is ktnd andn He has done wondrous things L After an Abortion: Steps Toward Healing Why do w At lea they belie conscienc circumsta Most being abli they do n their lives cent say t under bet people th It is p acting ag that the p found. Didn't foi dude tha abortion' Actu; What all the st flawed, j determin impact o governrr Unfortui Som Presiden ing exist l:Pid:WiDU The "Officially License exclusive property of t’ Club of New York City developed by Red Zone 1. Recognize that you are not alone. Others have been through the same experience and the same trials. Their experiences and understanding can help you. They want to help you, just as you may want to help others after you have finished going through the healing process. (See “Don’t Go It Alone,” page 12) 2. Recognize that the road to full recovery will take time and effort. God's forgiveness can be had instantly. But sorting out your feelings and overcoming the ever-present temptation to give in to despair and doubt—these take time. 3. Recognize that it is normal and good to mourn the loss of a loved one. Just as mourning the loss of a parent or spouse takes time, so does mourn ing the loss of an aborted child. In the case of abortion, the mourning process is often cut short and never completed because of denial or feel ings of guilt. Courageously allow the mourning process to get back on track. Accept your grief as normal rather than something which must be covered up or pushed away. Recognize that the pain of your loss will fade as your healing progresses. 4. Admit your personal responsibility but also recognize that others, too, were involved. Pray for the strength to forgive both yourself and everyone else who either encouraged you to have the abortion or failed to help you avoid it. 5. Give your child over to the care of God. Know that he or she is loved, happy, and well cared for in heaven. Do not try to hold onto your child by prolonging your grief. Hold onto him or her by remembering your child’s happiness in heaven. 6. Forgive others. Recognl/ ^ ' huIT ian ^ out of ignorance, fear, or peJ forgiv # If possible, let them know that y 7. Forgive yourself. Rcn ^'^y ofCod> . child lives in the love and m she is beyond earthly nu y 0U . Inst ea ' ter does not resent or condern ,^ nd ter does noi re^.^ be 11 ^. child, like God, wants yo ^ ^ppi^ restored to the fullness o J Page 4 afterabortion.or Ell I O T INS t pt" 0p E and