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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Nov. 16, 2000)
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AGGII life, Page 3A p 10 top-10 lists on the Internet provide useless advice and lampoon traditions week's men| aid. decisiottl lemorabil ic display.!] ually like:] lor showing II a littleejl ose items."] s a very sea] collapse] is 's minds, 'the colleen] erms of bos I there, and 1 be like,! said studd nU) any i :se items red — represer e students m "I think witkj 't havei at the colled ■n to thepq for a puli i rider then pc: rd sign that »i e collapsetoei ures. /ears front®? int tocomei daddy, thats' ned this sip illy, [the co lybody in; here." r he Internet has been heralded as one of the greatest in ventions of modern times — in moments, one can download music, find which movie is No. 1 in Pakistan Ind buy cheese direct from Wisconsin. However, the Internet Is also a place of strange sites full of misinformation and pro paganda. With this and the popularity of top-10 lists in mind, [tere is a compilation of the top 10 top-10 lists on the Internet. #10 Top 10 stupidest things to do with a brick T his list is on the Top 10 list for its inane qualities. Most of the “stupid things” are not particularly funny — in fact, they are downright pathetic. However, the list [does manage to incite both violence and sexual deviance. iDavesite.com’s stupid things get it on this list: No. 9: Go to a football game and chuck [the brick] at the I opposing team. No. 2: Have an affair with it. #9 Top 10 censored news stories of the year T his piece is a serious list of stories the author believes have been kept from the mainstream media because of their inflammatory nature. The No. 3 story on this | list is about the “glass ceiling” for sex workers. The cited article by Magdelen Gaitskill of the Left Sex Observer said prostitutes and pornographic models’ careers are “over by 35.” This is but one of the terribly important news stories that has been kept from the public. Simpleton.com’s list of the top 10 censored news stories comes in at No. 9 on this meetings Friday that in ;aid ports the Assu Colleges I iat campus dt ye positive I majority t iprovestud pus and p<i' : s’ satisf and their® #8 Top 10 Korean singers of the year. eocities.com’s Gayo critic’s list makes the top 10 be cause of its valiant attempt to make Americans aware of the great melting pot of musical culture in this country. How else would the American populace have be come aware of Lee Hyun Do and Roo’ Ra if not for this site? Really, it makes the list because it is weird. #7 Top 10 speeding excuses T ield his site has made an effort to help wayward drivers es cape punishment by giving helpful excuses for use in case of a traffic stop. Where would drivers be without such helpful suggestions as “Oh, the speedometer is the big dial,” and “How would I know if 1 was speeding? I was tak ing a nap.” K40.com does its part to make the streets safer. #6 Top 10 reasons to hate ’NSync B oy bands have dominated the pop music scene for a while, but with popularity come naysayers. This par ticular naysayer is the site emeespud69 on geoci- ties.com. The authors of this particular list are really not fun ny. As a matter of fact, they are absolutely scary. The list reads like the Unabomber’s manifesto. #5 Top 10 things to do with a newspaper I n honor of The Battalion, (or perhaps some other reason) Davesite.com has compiled a list of the top 10 things to do with a newspaper. Some are obvi ous, such as putting it by the toilet to read (reason No. 10), while others are creative yet disturbing: Roll it up and look through it, pretending to be a pirate (No. 5). #4 Top 10 things to blame on the Internet T his list makes it onto the top 10 because of its au thor’s meticulous nature. Not only does he come up with creative things to blame on the Internet, he comes up with specific keyboard commands to blame those things on. For instance, the No. 10 thing to blame on the Internet is glam rock, with the Unix command “cp” being blamed for David Bowie. Among the other things to blame on the Internet are the common cold, the itch in the inner ear and the breakup of the Beatles. #3 Top 10 Santa pickup lines W ith lines like No. 8 and No. 5: “I’ve got some thing special in the sack for you,” and “Some of my best toys run on batteries,” this list makes the top 10 for degrading one of America’s best loved traditions — Christmas. Many of the pickup lines in this list are far too dirty to be printed, so Santa lovers will have to go to cybercheeze.com to see the rest. #2 Top 10 reasons why beer is better than Jesus T his cybercheeze.com list makes the top 10 sim ply because of College Station’s per capita drink ing statistics. Not to mention that it makes light of a cherished figure. But then again there are always reasons No. 7 and No. 5: “No one comes to the door try ing to get you to drink a certain beer,” and “Beer is ac ceptable at any holiday.” # 1 Top 10 Amish spring break activities C ybercheeze.com also grabs the top spot with Amish jokes. Humorous lines, not altruistic mo tivations, give this list the top spot. Activity No. 10 is “drink molasses ’til you heave,” No. 9 is “wet bon net contest,” and No. 7 is “buttermilk kegger.” But the best line of this list is “sleep in ’til six a.m.” C ompetition was stiff among these lists, but five distinguished themselves as the cream of the crop. These were selected for their ability to in sult everything from America’s favorite whipping boys to its best loved pastimes. People may object to the sen sitive subjects mentioned in these lists, including Santa and Jesus, but these ratings are solely the views of the writer, not The Battalion — Jason Bennyhoff )0 arcs Editor jr Editor Editor ;f ticer ister IlfnlS* jniversity ifltHf ire m 0 l4 Re* faSda; ours ar® ^ ,nt topifS jns are onth. Islam in America A convert’s perspective | on how Islam is making an impact in this country Thursday, Nov. 16 th Rudder 301 @ 7:00pm Speaker: • SohaibWebb Muslim Students Association 846-7718 or 693-5463 isiaml01@tamu.edu Http://msa.tamu.edu . American Muslims pray in a street of Manhattan. NY. Free Entry and Refreshments! The Guitar Store • Over 100 Guitars in stock • New Guitars from *99.99 • Used Amps, Guitars, & Bass’s • Buy, Sell, Trade, & Consignment’s Located on University behind the Golden Coral 260-7262 www.unitedflight.com li! LEARN TO AT UNITED FLIGHT SYSTEMS Easily awarded student loans now available. You can learn to fly for as little as $50. 00 per month. Located next to campus at Easterwood Airport. Discount Discovery Flight (with presentation of coupon) ■ Student Loans ■ Aviation Career Tracks ■ Private thru advanced training ■ Aircraft rental, Pilot Shop ■ F.A.A. approved 141 school Cessna ■ VA Eligible Benefits United Flight Systems, Inc. Easterwood Airport College Station, TX 409 260-6322 -U/XIKL The, t*ltimczta irt cjtteditr/ service I s' Stylists •Sr’ 3 Isftxil Techs Hair Sculpting &. Styling ★ Color ^ Rarms Roil Highilights -A- Straighten©rs 'A Gel (Mails Acrylic Nails A- Manicures & Redicures All Types of Waxing e>e.'rAN. tx zt’T&o'Zl m • git The Dance Arts Society presents Fall Curtain Call Sunday, Nov. 19, 2000 2:00 p.m. • Rudder Auditorium Tickets: s 3 students • $ 5 adults available at the MSC box office