WANT INFOPP
Come to the Peer 1 Educators
informational meeting!
Find out more about how you can meet new people
AND make a difference in students’ lives
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 24
8:30 PM
THE COMMONS MULTI-PURPOSE ROOM
If you need to make special arrangements to attend this meeting or
would like more information, please contact:
Peiir 1 hlllicatlirs Colltg Y e M Station, TX 77843-1257
■ nwirm u ^ |845 . 1107 or845 _ 0280
i Peer1@stulife2.tamu.edu
Available on the web at http://stulife.tamu.edu/gies/p1edu/peer1edu.htm
a part of Abohol & Drug Education Programs and Gender Issues Education Services in the Department of Student Lite
"The world is perishing from on orgy
of self-sacrificing"
—Ayn Rand, The Fountainhead
Students of Objectivism
Present
a lecture to be given by Dr. Andrew Bernstein
from the Ayn Rand Institute
"What Young People Really Need:
Heroes and Happiness, NOrVolunleerism"
March 23 7:30 p.m. Rudder Tower Room 601
Come hear the moral alternative to the calls for sacrifice
that have bombarded us during the Big Event.
Reload Your Wardrobe
'Class ^ 200d
i.'onrnno
New Class of 2000
Merchandise
On sale this week in the MSC
• T-Shirts
• Mugs
• Hats
• Koozies
Visit the Website at
http: / / classOO. tamu. edu
■YW et ^
arty.
out
Perfect Pizza/
College Station Beat the Clock is Back
764-7272 On Monday Nights
Northgate
Just call Papa John’s
846-3600 between 6 and 8 o’clock.
Bryan
268-7272
The Time You Call Is the
Price You Pay for 1 Large
1 Topping Pizza.
Aggie
Bucks
Offer good on Monday only. All prices subject to sales tax. Offer can expire without notice.
Page 4 • Monday, March 22, 1999
GGIELIFE
► JACOBS LADDER
Back to school blues
How to start planning for next year’s Spring Break todaj
A s scores
of stu
dents re
turn from an
active and gen
erally sober
Spring Break,
their minds
quickly turn
back to con
centrating on
Jacob
HUVAL
the things they have missed most
— schoolwork and schedules. Stu
dents are often so enthusiastic
about getting back into the class
room rut that they neglect proper
time to ponder ways to make next
year’s Spring Break even better.
Some topics to consider are
preparation for whatever trip you
may embark on, choosing various
locations to vacation and what to
do about the generous increase in
subject workload over the holi
days.
Spring Break traveling is becom
ing more and more impulsive. Stu
dents have been known to skip
town in search of adventure at the
slightest change in weather, at the
onset of boredom and on receiving
the results of paternity tests.
With regard to these travel
trends, the only real preparation
one must make for Spring Break is
to leave early. Of course, the defini
tion of “early” varies for each indi
vidual. Some believe that leaving
“early” means departing two to
three hours ahead of schedule. The
majority, however, consider “early”
to be two to three days ahead of
schedule.
One may experience some diffi
culty in helping his or her profes
sor to understand the need to leave
early. It is hard to convincingly ar
ticulate the complexity and puz
zling details of Spring Break travel.
One way of conveying this in
formation is to maintain eye con
tact with the professor and speak
clearly and firmly, occasionally
complementing his or her
physique.
At the end of the discourse, the
student should extend a hand in a
gesture of camaraderie and good
will — this last step usually in
volves losing $20 to $50 and, for
once, Aggie Bucks are not accept
ed.
The only other known method
of getting away with an “early” de
parture is to invest in the human
cloning industry. If one decides to
do so, make sure to create a clone
that is not overtly genetically mu
tated and yet looks remotely simi
lar to oneself.
Just imagine a conversation be
tween your professor and your not-
so-well-made clone.
your forehead?”
It is at this point that the clone
would spend a moment pointing
out the minute changes apparent
on the new twenty-dollar bill while
asking, “Have you been working
out?”
The next step to a terrific Spring
Break is location, location, loca
tion. A popular destination is the
beach, where many vacationers
spend the week working on their
tans, swimming and testing their
alcohol tolerance levels.
If vacationing in Galveston, a
group can easily stay entertained
all week by seeing who can walk
the beach and collect the most
Here is a tip: WhentheL
approaches, if one feelsastl
painful, pole-shaped sensai'J
the buttocks, and this sen*
continues throughout the I
safe bet that one did noth' * 1
rectly. g"
Despite the exhilaration J
BY DO*
The
fter a sto
, the Tee
returne c
le Contine i
INLY, the l
ing, attendance at ski resor in | anL ' Cal
(liamaticMlly declined sincr® vel ‘ lo c ^ 1
syringes.
Another common destination
Robert Hynecek/1 ht Battai.ion
Professor: “Mr. Huval, why do
you look like John Lovitz?”
Clone: “Because I’m so happy
to be in your class and not in Can-
cun!”
Professor: “Then why do you
have a third arm and a lightbulb in
among Spring Breakers is ski
slopes. The most complicated as
pect for beginners is getting on the
ski lift. Usually, it is difficult to de
termine if one has hoarded the lift
properly until halfway up the
mountain.
deaihsoi numerousfaraousB, 11 ’ 0 m llu '
’ii s in skiing lekited mcide® u '
t reportedfagS-' 11,1 J 2 ~ 2 1
note outside its front door ?nt r0tU * tn f
"Unless all logging is immt S 311 lSt South -v
stopped, we will continue ;rsr; y l3St
one celebrity each week U defeated
no such thing as a skiing- ailed off the*
- signed, The IVees.' ^ed UNL.Y/
Resort designers hope els'Is put an
' m 4 iing by ((Mu I. howe-v
stmcting theme-park-likeij teKggies 14-3
such as 'I he CompoundFr; y IINLV were?
I he Widow Maka .e exponent t
cape the Donner Party. Junior pitcla
For many students, thebeJas saddled v
of Spring Break is coming! rst career stt
school (where else are the . tree runs and
to find a quality humoreoi ings of work.
Unfortunately, the usual'®he Aggies
"lunim losr-jur hits on 11
just below be He right belt
hke reciUng the Declaration?j| the wax-, l
ciepei u lei ice through interp.tOlibk' mul tw
dance, writing a thesis on iyiM he Aggies
- adingtb fdax tor two j
mosl ol , ' u> bihui x oi Cony gainst the W(
i’lgl .uin. i e Aggies sp
It and when confronted: ith Michigan
professor as to where the a*
mem is, one should first revf||
the traditional excuse, “My*
it!”
It and when the professor j
presses his doubt of the sincei
this claim, one should thenc
the truth: "Okay, okay! later
were out of money and Mikei
spilled salsa on it! Have you l
working out?”
Jacob Huval is a fresk
English m
Want to Motivate
The Class of 2003?
.N'T'OA',
Informational Session
March 23 111 Koldus 8 p.m.
March 24 MSC Visual Arts Gallery 8 p.m.
Orientation Leader Applications are
due March 26 in 314 YMCA
For questions and applications
please call 862-2746 or stop by 314 YMCA
Email: aol@stulife2.tamu.edu
Internet: http://stulife.tamu.edu/slo/aolp
Open Rehearsal
Monday, March 22 8 p.m.
Music room 402, fourth floor of Academic Building.
Additional singers always welcome!
Festival Singers!
"Ordinary People making Extraordinary Music."
A cappella singing of sacred choral music.
We're preparing for performances on April 11 and 15.
Rehearsals Monday & Thurs<lay, B p.m., warm-ups 7:45 p.m., Academic 1%
YOURSELF!
Bryan/College Station's private dormitories are
looking for motivated individuals to be a part of the
1999-2000 Resident Advisor Staff.
All applicants must have at least one year of college.
Applications can be picked-up at the front desk of
University Tower in the lobby and are due Friday,
April 2 by 5:00 p.m.
rzi
[a
The Forum
FOR MORE INFORMATION CALI 046-4242
m
utonng-
725B University DM
TICKETS GO ON SALE MONDAY 5PM
www.aggiecentral.com
MON
Mar 22
TUBS
Mar 23
WED
Mar 24
THURl
MarSl
MATH
8-11
Part
Part
Part
151
PM
I
II
III
CHEM
6-8
Ch.
Ch.
Ch. '
P12T
102
Dr. Sorlaga
PM
18
19
20
Test
-j
PHYS
8-10
Ch.
Ch.
Ch.
Ch,
202
PM
24
25
26A
268
Texas Aggie
Athletics This Week!
All applii
desk of
Colic
Baseball Monday 1:00 >Mn "
vs. Cal St. Northrldge(Cont. Classli SSRS, ln<
Baseball Monday 7:00 a
vs. UNLV (Continental Classic)
Tennis (M) Wednesday 12:00
vs. ACU
Tennis (M) Wednesday 6:00
vs. Ohio State
Baseball Wednesday 7:00
vs. Lamar
Tennis (W) Friday 6:00
vs. Colorado
Softball Saturday 12:00 (DH)
vs. Nebraska
Tennis (W) Saturday 1:30
vs. Oklahoma ^ ^
Softball Sunday 12:00 (DH)
vs. Iowa State
Tickets off campus A p roud
Kroger in College Station Corporate Sp«m'
PRI