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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (March 22, 1999)
WANT INFOPP Come to the Peer 1 Educators informational meeting! Find out more about how you can meet new people AND make a difference in students’ lives WEDNESDAY, MARCH 24 8:30 PM THE COMMONS MULTI-PURPOSE ROOM If you need to make special arrangements to attend this meeting or would like more information, please contact: Peiir 1 hlllicatlirs Colltg Y e M Station, TX 77843-1257 ■ nwirm u ^ |845 . 1107 or845 _ 0280 i Peer1@stulife2.tamu.edu Available on the web at http://stulife.tamu.edu/gies/p1edu/peer1edu.htm a part of Abohol & Drug Education Programs and Gender Issues Education Services in the Department of Student Lite "The world is perishing from on orgy of self-sacrificing" —Ayn Rand, The Fountainhead Students of Objectivism Present a lecture to be given by Dr. Andrew Bernstein from the Ayn Rand Institute "What Young People Really Need: Heroes and Happiness, NOrVolunleerism" March 23 7:30 p.m. Rudder Tower Room 601 Come hear the moral alternative to the calls for sacrifice that have bombarded us during the Big Event. Reload Your Wardrobe 'Class ^ 200d i.'onrnno New Class of 2000 Merchandise On sale this week in the MSC • T-Shirts • Mugs • Hats • Koozies Visit the Website at http: / / classOO. tamu. edu ■YW et ^ arty. out Perfect Pizza/ College Station Beat the Clock is Back 764-7272 On Monday Nights Northgate Just call Papa John’s 846-3600 between 6 and 8 o’clock. Bryan 268-7272 The Time You Call Is the Price You Pay for 1 Large 1 Topping Pizza. Aggie Bucks Offer good on Monday only. All prices subject to sales tax. Offer can expire without notice. Page 4 • Monday, March 22, 1999 GGIELIFE ► JACOBS LADDER Back to school blues How to start planning for next year’s Spring Break todaj A s scores of stu dents re turn from an active and gen erally sober Spring Break, their minds quickly turn back to con centrating on Jacob HUVAL the things they have missed most — schoolwork and schedules. Stu dents are often so enthusiastic about getting back into the class room rut that they neglect proper time to ponder ways to make next year’s Spring Break even better. Some topics to consider are preparation for whatever trip you may embark on, choosing various locations to vacation and what to do about the generous increase in subject workload over the holi days. Spring Break traveling is becom ing more and more impulsive. Stu dents have been known to skip town in search of adventure at the slightest change in weather, at the onset of boredom and on receiving the results of paternity tests. With regard to these travel trends, the only real preparation one must make for Spring Break is to leave early. Of course, the defini tion of “early” varies for each indi vidual. Some believe that leaving “early” means departing two to three hours ahead of schedule. The majority, however, consider “early” to be two to three days ahead of schedule. One may experience some diffi culty in helping his or her profes sor to understand the need to leave early. It is hard to convincingly ar ticulate the complexity and puz zling details of Spring Break travel. One way of conveying this in formation is to maintain eye con tact with the professor and speak clearly and firmly, occasionally complementing his or her physique. At the end of the discourse, the student should extend a hand in a gesture of camaraderie and good will — this last step usually in volves losing $20 to $50 and, for once, Aggie Bucks are not accept ed. The only other known method of getting away with an “early” de parture is to invest in the human cloning industry. If one decides to do so, make sure to create a clone that is not overtly genetically mu tated and yet looks remotely simi lar to oneself. Just imagine a conversation be tween your professor and your not- so-well-made clone. your forehead?” It is at this point that the clone would spend a moment pointing out the minute changes apparent on the new twenty-dollar bill while asking, “Have you been working out?” The next step to a terrific Spring Break is location, location, loca tion. A popular destination is the beach, where many vacationers spend the week working on their tans, swimming and testing their alcohol tolerance levels. If vacationing in Galveston, a group can easily stay entertained all week by seeing who can walk the beach and collect the most Here is a tip: WhentheL approaches, if one feelsastl painful, pole-shaped sensai'J the buttocks, and this sen* continues throughout the I safe bet that one did noth' * 1 rectly. g" Despite the exhilaration J BY DO* The fter a sto , the Tee returne c le Contine i INLY, the l ing, attendance at ski resor in | anL ' Cal (liamaticMlly declined sincr® vel ‘ lo c ^ 1 syringes. Another common destination Robert Hynecek/1 ht Battai.ion Professor: “Mr. Huval, why do you look like John Lovitz?” Clone: “Because I’m so happy to be in your class and not in Can- cun!” Professor: “Then why do you have a third arm and a lightbulb in among Spring Breakers is ski slopes. The most complicated as pect for beginners is getting on the ski lift. Usually, it is difficult to de termine if one has hoarded the lift properly until halfway up the mountain. deaihsoi numerousfaraousB, 11 ’ 0 m llu ' ’ii s in skiing lekited mcide® u ' t reportedfagS-' 11,1 J 2 ~ 2 1 note outside its front door ?nt r0tU * tn f "Unless all logging is immt S 311 lSt South -v stopped, we will continue ;rsr; y l3St one celebrity each week U defeated no such thing as a skiing- ailed off the* - signed, The IVees.' ^ed UNL.Y/ Resort designers hope els'Is put an ' m 4 iing by ((Mu I. howe-v stmcting theme-park-likeij teKggies 14-3 such as 'I he CompoundFr; y IINLV were? I he Widow Maka .e exponent t cape the Donner Party. Junior pitcla For many students, thebeJas saddled v of Spring Break is coming! rst career stt school (where else are the . tree runs and to find a quality humoreoi ings of work. Unfortunately, the usual'®he Aggies "lunim losr-jur hits on 11 just below be He right belt hke reciUng the Declaration?j| the wax-, l ciepei u lei ice through interp.tOlibk' mul tw dance, writing a thesis on iyiM he Aggies - adingtb fdax tor two j mosl ol , ' u> bihui x oi Cony gainst the W( i’lgl .uin. i e Aggies sp It and when confronted: ith Michigan professor as to where the a* mem is, one should first revf|| the traditional excuse, “My* it!” It and when the professor j presses his doubt of the sincei this claim, one should thenc the truth: "Okay, okay! later were out of money and Mikei spilled salsa on it! Have you l working out?” Jacob Huval is a fresk English m Want to Motivate The Class of 2003? .N'T'OA', Informational Session March 23 111 Koldus 8 p.m. March 24 MSC Visual Arts Gallery 8 p.m. Orientation Leader Applications are due March 26 in 314 YMCA For questions and applications please call 862-2746 or stop by 314 YMCA Email: aol@stulife2.tamu.edu Internet: http://stulife.tamu.edu/slo/aolp Open Rehearsal Monday, March 22 8 p.m. Music room 402, fourth floor of Academic Building. Additional singers always welcome! Festival Singers! "Ordinary People making Extraordinary Music." A cappella singing of sacred choral music. We're preparing for performances on April 11 and 15. Rehearsals Monday & Thurs<lay, B p.m., warm-ups 7:45 p.m., Academic 1% YOURSELF! Bryan/College Station's private dormitories are looking for motivated individuals to be a part of the 1999-2000 Resident Advisor Staff. All applicants must have at least one year of college. Applications can be picked-up at the front desk of University Tower in the lobby and are due Friday, April 2 by 5:00 p.m. rzi [a The Forum FOR MORE INFORMATION CALI 046-4242 m utonng- 725B University DM TICKETS GO ON SALE MONDAY 5PM www.aggiecentral.com MON Mar 22 TUBS Mar 23 WED Mar 24 THURl MarSl MATH 8-11 Part Part Part 151 PM I II III CHEM 6-8 Ch. Ch. Ch. ' P12T 102 Dr. Sorlaga PM 18 19 20 Test -j PHYS 8-10 Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch, 202 PM 24 25 26A 268 Texas Aggie Athletics This Week! All applii desk of Colic Baseball Monday 1:00 >Mn " vs. Cal St. Northrldge(Cont. Classli SSRS, ln< Baseball Monday 7:00 a vs. UNLV (Continental Classic) Tennis (M) Wednesday 12:00 vs. ACU Tennis (M) Wednesday 6:00 vs. Ohio State Baseball Wednesday 7:00 vs. Lamar Tennis (W) Friday 6:00 vs. Colorado Softball Saturday 12:00 (DH) vs. Nebraska Tennis (W) Saturday 1:30 vs. Oklahoma ^ ^ Softball Sunday 12:00 (DH) vs. Iowa State Tickets off campus A p roud Kroger in College Station Corporate Sp«m' PRI