30 ie sday • June 30,1998
The Battalion
PINION
nfemale drivers, no survivors?
Mis 1
t>nv-
fies byt
its bid
».
room:
welL
Host j
men should not be
the driver’s seat
lor years, women have sung
their song of liberation — "I
i>rs can bring home the bacon,
orgel'i tup in a pan, and never let
WcanjjWget you're a man."
p'sfav hat is, of
I 'se, if
■'/’ i-a: ■ don't
I n a ear
sSlB 311
I r way
I lefrom
Ubi gtag
lethe ba-
arlier
u SS d‘ mc :" ,h '
I ir. at
log at
John
Lemons
columnist
University released initial
ings from a study aimed at de-
uni ng which gender is safer be-
Ithe wheel. The researchers
id that women are slightly
elkely than men to have an
imobile accident. Upon hearing
new s, men everywhere ex-
med, "You needed a study to
ire that out?"
I
iver since that day when
bfEd
REBst
I ri
ies first sat themselves in the
iters' seat, male chauvinists
|( j 3r;i JeIssumed that women are
Ihe H'y the weaker sex, but also
V;- worse driver.
I But until now, nobody has had
I Or dence to back up that assump-
i art n.
Kom Well, the verdict is in. And al-
pviev. iugli it sounds like the punch
e to the world's most sexist joke,
lof loBy is good news.
ISH the Johns Hopkins study
la;- - ifirms that men and women are,
^■fully, very different animals.
.Be Johns Hopkins study does
^some potentially dangerous
■cations.
After all, if male chauvinists
re right about female drivers,
jjBould be right on other is-
lithtj
|th m aybe a woman's place
jjren ^’ s ' n the kitchen, barefoot
Le lpregnant.
|httici§ w before all the feminists
lu'J other assorted liberated
ln °ut there get angry and
uming their bras, let's
about what the Johns Hop-
study really means.
I the study really means is
Jon average, women have
■ wrecks than men.
fpoes not mean that women
Bd not be allowed to drive,
wmen are dangerous behind
Heel or that all women are
! drivers than men.
be fair, the same study
P that men are more likely
Women to die if involved in
. Icident.
llH /len drive an awful lot more
than women, about twice
poh, and given being in a
crash, they're much more likely
to die," Dr. Gabe Kelen of Johns
Hopkins School of Medicine said
in an interview with CNN.
Regardless of men's tendency
toward fatal accidents, though,
women still are the more acci
dent prone — when it comes to
automobiles, that is.
One does wonder what causes
this difference in accident rates.
There are a couple of theories that
attempt to explain this difference.
One is the make-up theory.
See, most men don't wear
makeup, while most women do.
If a woman applies make-up to
her face while driving, as women
are often seen doing, her chances
of having an accident increase.
Another theory revolves
around ovaries. Women have
ovaries, men don't.
I'm not quite sure how ovaries
would make one more accident
prone, but it is something men
don't have to contend with while
driving.
Finding the specific difference
that makes women more prone to
car wrecks than men, however, is
not the point. The point is that
men and women are different.
And viva la difference!
Many people have come to as
sume that just because the sexes
are equal, they must be identical.
This is the kind of reasoning
that says women should be as
good combat solders as men, that
men can fulfill the role of mom if
needed, and that men and
women should be equally skilled
drivers.
But in reality, female solders
don't fight on the frontlines, men
don't breastfeed, and women are
more likely to get in car wrecks.
Men and women each have their
own strengths and weaknesses.
The world would be a much
happier place if each sex used its
strengths to balance out the other
sex's weaknesses instead of argu
ing over who is superior.
The battle of the sexes is a war
that cannot be won.
Trying to declare one gender
superior to another only sepa
rates men and women.
The sexes can be divided, but
they cannot be conquered.
Accepting that each gender has
its own talents to offer the other
brings men and women together.
And in that context, the old
joke about female drivers be
comes something everybody can
laugh about. So remember, fe
male drivers — no survivors.
John Lemons is an electrical
engineering graduate student.
V I 11 r —
Report’s ‘women are worse drivers’ lacks validation
Laura
Stuart
radio producer
A recent article from CNN reported the
findings of a new study released by
Johns Hopkins University for the Na
tional Institutes of Health that attempted to
determine which gender
produces better drivers.
The early report indicates
that females are more
likely to have a wreck
when compared to men
mile for mile.
Do not let it go to your
heads yet, boys. Just be
cause some senseless sur
vey, which is not even
complete, said women
are more likely to be in a
crash does not mean
women are worse drivers. The article said
"the findings, so far, don't appear to stack in
any genders favor."
No one study can determine which gender
drives better. We should not classify drivers
as men and women, but rather look at many
factors to determine who is better behind the
wheel.
For example, which car is considered to be
the most dangerous on the road? According
to a National Highway Traffic Safety Admin
istration (NHTSA), large vehicles such as full-
size vans and full-size pickups are the most
aggressive automobiles on the road. With the
exception of the rare "female-brute-cowgirl"
most of Bryan-College Station's monster-dad
dy trucks are driven by the average 18-to-24
year-old-so-called-"safe" male driver.
There are two possible reasons why the
NHTSA found these large vehicles to be so
dangerous.
One reason for this statistic is the vehicle is
so large it chooses to ignore other cars and it
can't possibly share the road with other de
fenseless cars. A more logical reason, though,
is the big-headed boy behind the powerful
engine who considers himself invincible to
the world.
So, what does NHTSA say is the safest
large vehicle on the road? The mini van. We
all know who drives those mini vans —
Mom. Just remember all those safe trips to
soccer games and middle-school movies with
friends. How did you get there? More than
likely. Mom took you in the good ol' mini
van.
Age can also be used to survey which gen
der is better behind the wheel. The driver's
age is a component which insurance compa
nies deem worthy enough to consider when
setting auto insurance rates. Why else would
the insurance companies raise the prices for
male drivers until they are 25?
Insurance companies at least try to encour
age responsible male drivers by setting their
rates so high. The insurance companies are so
scared they will go bankrupt by insuring
males they must cover themselves by charg
ing outrageous rates.
This study which claims to examine which
gender drives better must do a little more re
search. Let's talk about experience. We all
know men learned how to drive first and
eventually taught their wives and their chil
dren.
How did women all of the sudden be more
likely to have a wreck? Well, daddy taught
us to drive.
The real problem on the road is the egotis
tical male. If men would be patient (which is
an impossible thought as it is), then women
could enjoy the pleasure of a stress-free road.
Some men may laugh at the thought of a
stress-free road. But you just wait, guys, until
you're about 70 or so.
Here is a proposition. Look around when
you drive (safely, please). Notice how many
old women are driving their husbands
around. It is not about women and men as
much as it is about age, and who is able to
handle the pressure on the road.
Let's be fair. Some women cannot drive. It
is that easy. But just as many men are incom
petent drivers as women.
The lesson to be learned from this report
claiming that males are better drivers is sim
ply that men, if tranquilized, could slow
down, enjoy the ride and just let the women
take the wheel. We would get there safe and
on time (well, maybe on time is an exaggera
tion). Besides, we want to get there and we're
not afraid to ask for directions.
Laura Stuart is a junior
journalism major.
American obsession with youth incorrectly redefines beauty
ission: To defy old age and restore youth.
This misfit's task has lead individuals on a
boundless goose
Ml
for the fountain of
By search is driven
Vanity has con-
- people into believing
e only place where
)'/ elegance and glamour
, Xl f ls through youth,
olescent girls are in-
’ ,*° f°ok like 20-some-
> s , while middle-aged
le n are encouraged to
llke high-school gradu-
1 nessing the latest goose chase for the foun-
0 >°uth, I was reminded of the motives that lie
■ m vanity.
Mother type of surgery was broadcast on an af-
^ 0n talk show this past week. This latest inno-
n 'n cosmetic surgery involves needles. It is
e rrr| ed once a month for about $400 a pop (it is
^ark* 31 ) ^Sh price of vanity is a boom-
w S tyP 6 of procedure tightens the devilish
0 wrinkled foreheads. The doctor injects
<etry- •
Alison
Lackey
columnist
ln g into the skin that tightens and stiffens
the forehead. The patient has a brand new, baby-
smooth forehead with agonizing pain to match.
Well, pain for only a day or so, according to the
doctor. Of course this session of Torture 101 includ
ed a celebrity endorsement sitting pretty with the
doctor to ensure women everywhere that it was just
fabulous, darling.
She was a daytime soap star freed from the "wrin-
klehead" syndrome. Ignorant soap heads everywhere
will now adopt this procedure to rid themselves too
from the ominous forehead monster.
Some people believe they have encountered
youth restored with their efforts of cosmetic exis
tence. Wrinkle creams, silicone and lasers seem to
be their weapons of choice. However, the water
from the fountain of youth is slipping through their
perfectly manicured hands. Really, the fountain's
youthful water has sprayed up noses, leaving only
a nasty waterlogged headache to encounter.
Who holds the fountain of youth's rich waters?
Do pubescent Kate Moss-ish super models and pre
teeny hoppers such as Leann Rimes, Brandy, and
Hanson know where the fountain lies? Hardly.
Leann Grimes and Hansuck won't be immortal
ized or blessed by endless youth. Perhaps soon
their musical "genius" will surpass us all, and the
mmm-boppers of the world will no longer have
leaders. Besides, most of them are too young to dri
ve. How ever will they reach the fountain?
Some people believe they have
encountered youth restored with
their efforts of cosmetic
existence. Wrinkle creams,
silicone and lasers seem to be
their weapons of choice.
Does the fountain exist on an operating table?
The battle to resist aging is often fought on the plas
tic surgeon's table.
It is important to understand as a woman's body
matures, she naturally gains pounds in preparation
for carrying a child or the nasty and cruel punish
ment of menopause.
These are natural cycles, but often times these
cycles discourage women into thinking they really
need some work done.
Liposuction, silicone breast implants, tummy
tucks, face lifts, etc. are all procedures on a sur
geons' check list to beautify and restore the body to
its youthful wonder.
The youthful wonder is splashed around the
pages of fashion magazines. There is no room for
Baggy eyes and droopy butts on the pages of fash
ion mags. But is there plenty of room for intangible
12-year-olds illustrating what is beautiful?
Society is taught that the aging woman is less of
an asset to society. Society sees this as a point sys
tem. The older a woman gets, the more beauty or
sexual attraction points she loses.
These points equal out to such an absurd sum
that there is absolutely no way that a woman over
40 can be attractive. And if she is, she is exclaimed
extraordinary, a singular exception, perhaps a
Raquel Welch.
This is absurd. Indeed, there are numerous
women over 40 who embody the qualities of beau
ty. It is wrong that society clings to youth as a defi
nition of beauty.
Alison Lackey is a senior
English major.