30 ie sday • June 30,1998 The Battalion PINION nfemale drivers, no survivors? Mis 1 t>nv- fies byt its bid ». room: welL Host j men should not be the driver’s seat lor years, women have sung their song of liberation — "I i>rs can bring home the bacon, orgel'i tup in a pan, and never let WcanjjWget you're a man." p'sfav hat is, of I 'se, if ■'/’ i-a: ■ don't I n a ear sSlB 311 I r way I lefrom Ubi gtag lethe ba- arlier u SS d‘ mc :" ,h ' I ir. at log at John Lemons columnist University released initial ings from a study aimed at de- uni ng which gender is safer be- Ithe wheel. The researchers id that women are slightly elkely than men to have an imobile accident. Upon hearing new s, men everywhere ex- med, "You needed a study to ire that out?" I iver since that day when bfEd REBst I ri ies first sat themselves in the iters' seat, male chauvinists |( j 3r;i JeIssumed that women are Ihe H'y the weaker sex, but also V;- worse driver. I But until now, nobody has had I Or dence to back up that assump- i art n. Kom Well, the verdict is in. And al- pviev. iugli it sounds like the punch e to the world's most sexist joke, lof loBy is good news. ISH the Johns Hopkins study la;- - ifirms that men and women are, ^■fully, very different animals. .Be Johns Hopkins study does ^some potentially dangerous ■cations. After all, if male chauvinists re right about female drivers, jjBould be right on other is- lithtj |th m aybe a woman's place jjren ^’ s ' n the kitchen, barefoot Le lpregnant. |httici§ w before all the feminists lu'J other assorted liberated ln °ut there get angry and uming their bras, let's about what the Johns Hop- study really means. I the study really means is Jon average, women have ■ wrecks than men. fpoes not mean that women Bd not be allowed to drive, wmen are dangerous behind Heel or that all women are ! drivers than men. be fair, the same study P that men are more likely Women to die if involved in . Icident. llH /len drive an awful lot more than women, about twice poh, and given being in a crash, they're much more likely to die," Dr. Gabe Kelen of Johns Hopkins School of Medicine said in an interview with CNN. Regardless of men's tendency toward fatal accidents, though, women still are the more acci dent prone — when it comes to automobiles, that is. One does wonder what causes this difference in accident rates. There are a couple of theories that attempt to explain this difference. One is the make-up theory. See, most men don't wear makeup, while most women do. If a woman applies make-up to her face while driving, as women are often seen doing, her chances of having an accident increase. Another theory revolves around ovaries. Women have ovaries, men don't. I'm not quite sure how ovaries would make one more accident prone, but it is something men don't have to contend with while driving. Finding the specific difference that makes women more prone to car wrecks than men, however, is not the point. The point is that men and women are different. And viva la difference! Many people have come to as sume that just because the sexes are equal, they must be identical. This is the kind of reasoning that says women should be as good combat solders as men, that men can fulfill the role of mom if needed, and that men and women should be equally skilled drivers. But in reality, female solders don't fight on the frontlines, men don't breastfeed, and women are more likely to get in car wrecks. Men and women each have their own strengths and weaknesses. The world would be a much happier place if each sex used its strengths to balance out the other sex's weaknesses instead of argu ing over who is superior. The battle of the sexes is a war that cannot be won. Trying to declare one gender superior to another only sepa rates men and women. The sexes can be divided, but they cannot be conquered. Accepting that each gender has its own talents to offer the other brings men and women together. And in that context, the old joke about female drivers be comes something everybody can laugh about. So remember, fe male drivers — no survivors. John Lemons is an electrical engineering graduate student. V I 11 r — Report’s ‘women are worse drivers’ lacks validation Laura Stuart radio producer A recent article from CNN reported the findings of a new study released by Johns Hopkins University for the Na tional Institutes of Health that attempted to determine which gender produces better drivers. The early report indicates that females are more likely to have a wreck when compared to men mile for mile. Do not let it go to your heads yet, boys. Just be cause some senseless sur vey, which is not even complete, said women are more likely to be in a crash does not mean women are worse drivers. The article said "the findings, so far, don't appear to stack in any genders favor." No one study can determine which gender drives better. We should not classify drivers as men and women, but rather look at many factors to determine who is better behind the wheel. For example, which car is considered to be the most dangerous on the road? According to a National Highway Traffic Safety Admin istration (NHTSA), large vehicles such as full- size vans and full-size pickups are the most aggressive automobiles on the road. With the exception of the rare "female-brute-cowgirl" most of Bryan-College Station's monster-dad dy trucks are driven by the average 18-to-24 year-old-so-called-"safe" male driver. There are two possible reasons why the NHTSA found these large vehicles to be so dangerous. One reason for this statistic is the vehicle is so large it chooses to ignore other cars and it can't possibly share the road with other de fenseless cars. A more logical reason, though, is the big-headed boy behind the powerful engine who considers himself invincible to the world. So, what does NHTSA say is the safest large vehicle on the road? The mini van. We all know who drives those mini vans — Mom. Just remember all those safe trips to soccer games and middle-school movies with friends. How did you get there? More than likely. Mom took you in the good ol' mini van. Age can also be used to survey which gen der is better behind the wheel. The driver's age is a component which insurance compa nies deem worthy enough to consider when setting auto insurance rates. Why else would the insurance companies raise the prices for male drivers until they are 25? Insurance companies at least try to encour age responsible male drivers by setting their rates so high. The insurance companies are so scared they will go bankrupt by insuring males they must cover themselves by charg ing outrageous rates. This study which claims to examine which gender drives better must do a little more re search. Let's talk about experience. We all know men learned how to drive first and eventually taught their wives and their chil dren. How did women all of the sudden be more likely to have a wreck? Well, daddy taught us to drive. The real problem on the road is the egotis tical male. If men would be patient (which is an impossible thought as it is), then women could enjoy the pleasure of a stress-free road. Some men may laugh at the thought of a stress-free road. But you just wait, guys, until you're about 70 or so. Here is a proposition. Look around when you drive (safely, please). Notice how many old women are driving their husbands around. It is not about women and men as much as it is about age, and who is able to handle the pressure on the road. Let's be fair. Some women cannot drive. It is that easy. But just as many men are incom petent drivers as women. The lesson to be learned from this report claiming that males are better drivers is sim ply that men, if tranquilized, could slow down, enjoy the ride and just let the women take the wheel. We would get there safe and on time (well, maybe on time is an exaggera tion). Besides, we want to get there and we're not afraid to ask for directions. Laura Stuart is a junior journalism major. American obsession with youth incorrectly redefines beauty ission: To defy old age and restore youth. This misfit's task has lead individuals on a boundless goose Ml for the fountain of By search is driven Vanity has con- - people into believing e only place where )'/ elegance and glamour , Xl f ls through youth, olescent girls are in- ’ ,*° f°ok like 20-some- > s , while middle-aged le n are encouraged to llke high-school gradu- 1 nessing the latest goose chase for the foun- 0 >°uth, I was reminded of the motives that lie ■ m vanity. Mother type of surgery was broadcast on an af- ^ 0n talk show this past week. This latest inno- n 'n cosmetic surgery involves needles. It is e rrr| ed once a month for about $400 a pop (it is ^ark* 31 ) ^Sh price of vanity is a boom- w S tyP 6 of procedure tightens the devilish 0 wrinkled foreheads. The doctor injects