hursday • April 30, 1998
The Battalion
IN N
ENDERSCOPE
ien get raw end of deal in gender wars by receiving blame for all of society's problems
ihi
fechi
exual inequality
Joe
Schumacher
columnist
sthe ap
pointed pres-
lident of the
ivly founded the
rights group,
Ma'am, I feel
npelled to urge
oppressed
ithers to rise up
itake a stand
inst thisfemi-
matriarchy that
ms to be brew-
at Texas A&M.
Surely every man on campus is aware
unfounded, inflammatory and
eful feeling of the media towards men.
They” (whoever they are) have con-
ledthat all women are, in fact, evil,
veverthe good news is some are not as
asothers. The most evil faction, as yet
yarned, is trying to enslave us.
°‘‘ fhisevil society of women woidd have
whole race blaming every catastrophe
[ tan. Well, if weapons, wars and natur-
isasters are all the fault of men, then
toke, Zima and soap operas are all due
tomen.
®| fhis society would have everyone be-
^ ethat men are more competitive and
.Again, that could not be further
H|the truth. The feminist faction woidd
the billions of dollars spent on the
its industry as proof of this.
ie jk lowever, as proof of women’s compe-
1 submit another billion-dollar in-
— cosmetics. Lipstick and mascara
merely war paint for the bat tle of the
As far as being violent goes, have
ever seen two women show up to a
wearing the same outfit?
fyou have not, you are fortunate,
iver those who have witnessed this
it are scarred for life,
oroneto understand our struggle,
must look at the sociology of both
elders. First, men one the one hand are
arily solitary creatures.
^ Me we may go to bars to congregate,
not go out together in large packs,
lien, on the one hand, are largely pack
Jals.This serves for their hunting pur-
saswell as a defensive measure.
Jdrexample, an unsuspecting man
™ htbe lured to the pack by his attrac-
tothe most glamourous female, or
alpha woman, as we will call her.
ken, if he does not make her approval,
ipassed down to one of the lesser
* ling, and if he tries to escape, he is
icut to shreds by the pack.
kispack mentality is what is allowing
jOT-iMCcHSTmjTmim
women to enslave us. One does not have
to look far to see this on a global scale.
This female propaganda, known to them
as Vogue and Cosmopolitan, contain
nothing but stories on how bad men are,
quizzes to find out how bad your male
partner is and how to trap this man in a
relationship.
This collective is what is slowly con
tributing to the enslavement of man.
Slowly but surely, men are being carted off
to the sound of wedding bells never to be
seen again by their companions.
Even now, one can see the lines being
drawn. Over time, women have developed
a secret code of speaking. One example
our group was able to decipher was that of
the double talk, where a word is repeated
to either add or take away emphasis. Some
examples are, “I like you, but I don’t like
you LIKE YOU."
Or, “We will go on a date, but not a date
DATE.” What they do not tell you is that
whether or not you are on a date or on a
date DATE, you will still be expected to
spend money MONEY.
These secret codes are no doubt being
derived so they can pass messages with
out us knowing.
There are many gathering places that
we as men are either not allowed in or
would not go to willingly.
For instance ladies’ restrooms. No
woman goes to the restroom by herself.
Obviously they are plotting on us. To put
an end to this we are trying to install a
man in every women’s bathroom to cut
down on such talks.
Then there is the mall, the mecca of fe
male existence. Anyone who has been to the
mall has surely noticed the growing number
of benches at malls everywhere. And who do
you see sitting on these benches? Men.
They are told to sit there why their
domineering half goes “shopping.” Sure a
few escape to the arcade, the toystore or
sporting goods and hardware section of a
department store, but most are rounded
up only to have to endure the torture of
being asked, “how do I look in this?”
This is their most rigorous form of tor
ture. One must think long and hard (and you
know how we hate doing that) before an
swering, and seldom answer correctly. (My
tip to you now is, “Flawless.” But do not over
use this or you will end up sounding insin
cere, and that will land you in bigger trouble.)
If this evil faction has its way, men will
be forced to attend such “cultured events”
as ballet and operas.
Instead of celebrating when the home
team scores, we will all give hugs and send
A*
? wr
%
flowers to the losing team’s city. This
would also see the end of the professional
wrestling, as it would serve no purpose in
this society.
We would be forced to spend our time at
the malls and being sensitive (whatever that
means). There would be no monster truck
rallies, no fishing tournaments, nothing
that we men regard as sacred. We would not
be able to hang out with guys without some
sort of supervision to keep us subjugated.
Men have made great strides in equali
ty. Today though, it is still a radical idea
that not every thing is the man’s fault.
However freedom can never come too
soon. The time for action is now, my broth
ers. It is time to rise up with your remote
controls and long neck bottles, don your
N.W.O. T-shirts and smash this feminist
oppression that threatens to enslave us all.
I only hope the call to action is not too late.
Joe Schumacher is a junior
journalism major.
mis odd. m '
N\cC/\RTNEY SND HED R
DOWN HERE SPREftDitte
UUDA'S ASHES....
STUDENT LIFE
Stress of studying for finals can
be combatted with simple steps
Jennifer
Jones
columnist
hjoyiJlj
vingti
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riate.1
Jthertk
jiizedk
Id II'
hers
Mail call
Iball."
luired classes offer
Jo nfortunity for growth
Iwlari
igo s Po/ise to Mickey Saloma’s
el to:
College education is not just a
i plat tement for a future career, it
opportunity for students like
If to develop necessary skills
oand grow as individuals.
As much as certain classes may
seem boring, tedious or not in our
career destination, they would not
be in the curriculum if they were
not valuable to our education.
Correct me if I am the only stu
dent who feels this way, but I do
not believe that my high school ed
ucation, as Mickey stated, will car
ry me far enough in life intellectu
ally.
The “weed out” English classes
teach us how to write and speak
properly; the “pointless” Political
Science classes inform us about
our country and how to be a vot
ing citizen.
The “boring” history classes we
all have to take tell us how and why
we are where we are now as free
Americans. College is not just a de
gree—it is four years of our lives
where we have the opportunity to
learn about the world, apply these
concepts, and become a strong in
dependent individual. I do not feel
my time here has been wasted—
and I hope the majority of students
out there do not feel that way ei
ther.
We are here to learn and take
advantage of the knowledge pre
sented to us daily. In the words of
Mahatma Ghandi, “Live as if you
will die tomorrow, but learn as if
you will live forever.”
The Battalion encourages letters to the ed
itor. Letters must be 300 words or less and in
clude the author’s name, class, and phone
number.
The opinion editor reserves the right to edit
letters for length, style, and accuracy. Letters
may be submitted in person at 013 Reed Mc
Donald with a valid student ID. Letters may also
be mailed to:
The Battalion - Mail Call
013 Reed McDonald
Texas A&M University
College Station, TX
77843-1111
I t is a cruel joke that finals
come at a time when the
blooming flora and clear
blue skies of spring seem too
tempting to resist.
By the first day of May, stu
dents are stumbling across
campus, rushing to complete
projects and papers and as
signments only to come to the
disheartening realization that
finals are but a few days off.
But this May, instead of be
coming the traditional zombie
that seems to typify the end-of-semester experience,
combat finals stress.
• Meditate
No, you don’t have to get in the lotus position or
stand on your head to achieve this blissftilly peaceful
state. Just get comfy (on the floor, in a chair, wherev
er), close your eyes and kiss a temporary goodbye to
your worries.
Toss in a bit of deep breathing coupled with a little
positive thinking, and you are on your way to a bona
fide semi-conscious state, the perfect escape to the
mind-numbing pain of finals pressure.
• Exercise
Throw on some running shoes and pay a visit to the
good old Rec Center our student fees support each se
mester. There’s nothing quite like the endorphin high
from a hard run or heart-pounding workout. If the Rec
doesn’t appeal to your aesthetic needs, partake of the
great outdoors: ride a bike, play frisbee, take a walk.
Whatever your choice, make it fun, not just another
thing to add to your already long “To-do” list.
• Stretch
Maybe you’re not in the mood to get sweaty.
Maybe you don’t have to time in your cramped
schedule to set aside 30 minutes for a workout plus
clean up time. That’s OK. Try stretching. You can do it
just about any time — while studying, before you go
to sleep, during class (although not the best idea if
you are sitting on the front row). Combined with
deep breaths, this will relax and rejuvenate your mind
and body. For some serious stretching, check out a
yoga class.
• Avoid caffeine
You can stop snickering now. Yes, I realize that caf
feine is a vital substance in the diet of most college
students, nay, the life blood. A zillion coffee shops in
the area are a testament to Aggies’ fond addiction to
the drug.
Although caffeine may keep you buzzing through
an all-nighter, it is not doing any favors for your body.
You retain less information, can get jittery and ner
vous and the carbonation that often accompanies
caffeinated beverages dehydrates, sapping what little
cognitive skills you have left at this point in the se
mester. Better to rely on a good night’s sleep (about
eight hours) and a test preparation system that does
n’t include cramming the night before.
• Nap
OK, maybe eight hours of sleep a night just isn’t re
alistic. Between school, work and all of those other
fun activities that keep us busy, sleeping can fall to
the bottom of the priority list.
That’s when the power nap comes into play. They
can be taken anywhere — at home, in the library, on
the bus. Wherever there is a spot to rest your head,
you can nap. A nap not only allows temporary relief
from worries, but can also provide that extra spark of
energy upon waking to finish that chemistry chapter
you couldn’t seem to make it through earlier.
• Regress
Blow bubbles, fly a kite, finger paint, climb a tree
— become a kid again. Childhood was a carefree time
when stress seemed non-existent. Recapture that
free-spirited energy again, even if for a brief moment.
Don’t be afraid to break out that dusty coloring book
and scribble to your heart’s content. Reminding your
self of a time when “busy” meant a soccer game and
birthday party in the same day helps take the edge off
of a stress-filled schedule.
Although finals may seem the most foul ending to
a rather long spring semester, just remember to keep
a little perspective and to take a little time out of your
schedule to maintain your sanity. Your mind and
body will thank you.
Jennifer Jones is a senior psychology major.