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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (April 30, 1998)
hursday • April 30, 1998 The Battalion IN N ENDERSCOPE ien get raw end of deal in gender wars by receiving blame for all of society's problems ihi fechi exual inequality Joe Schumacher columnist sthe ap pointed pres- lident of the ivly founded the rights group, Ma'am, I feel npelled to urge oppressed ithers to rise up itake a stand inst thisfemi- matriarchy that ms to be brew- at Texas A&M. Surely every man on campus is aware unfounded, inflammatory and eful feeling of the media towards men. They” (whoever they are) have con- ledthat all women are, in fact, evil, veverthe good news is some are not as asothers. The most evil faction, as yet yarned, is trying to enslave us. °‘‘ fhisevil society of women woidd have whole race blaming every catastrophe [ tan. Well, if weapons, wars and natur- isasters are all the fault of men, then toke, Zima and soap operas are all due tomen. ®| fhis society would have everyone be- ^ ethat men are more competitive and .Again, that could not be further H|the truth. The feminist faction woidd the billions of dollars spent on the its industry as proof of this. ie jk lowever, as proof of women’s compe- 1 submit another billion-dollar in- — cosmetics. Lipstick and mascara merely war paint for the bat tle of the As far as being violent goes, have ever seen two women show up to a wearing the same outfit? fyou have not, you are fortunate, iver those who have witnessed this it are scarred for life, oroneto understand our struggle, must look at the sociology of both elders. First, men one the one hand are arily solitary creatures. ^ Me we may go to bars to congregate, not go out together in large packs, lien, on the one hand, are largely pack Jals.This serves for their hunting pur- saswell as a defensive measure. Jdrexample, an unsuspecting man ™ htbe lured to the pack by his attrac- tothe most glamourous female, or alpha woman, as we will call her. ken, if he does not make her approval, ipassed down to one of the lesser * ling, and if he tries to escape, he is icut to shreds by the pack. kispack mentality is what is allowing jOT-iMCcHSTmjTmim women to enslave us. One does not have to look far to see this on a global scale. This female propaganda, known to them as Vogue and Cosmopolitan, contain nothing but stories on how bad men are, quizzes to find out how bad your male partner is and how to trap this man in a relationship. This collective is what is slowly con tributing to the enslavement of man. Slowly but surely, men are being carted off to the sound of wedding bells never to be seen again by their companions. Even now, one can see the lines being drawn. Over time, women have developed a secret code of speaking. One example our group was able to decipher was that of the double talk, where a word is repeated to either add or take away emphasis. Some examples are, “I like you, but I don’t like you LIKE YOU." Or, “We will go on a date, but not a date DATE.” What they do not tell you is that whether or not you are on a date or on a date DATE, you will still be expected to spend money MONEY. These secret codes are no doubt being derived so they can pass messages with out us knowing. There are many gathering places that we as men are either not allowed in or would not go to willingly. For instance ladies’ restrooms. No woman goes to the restroom by herself. Obviously they are plotting on us. To put an end to this we are trying to install a man in every women’s bathroom to cut down on such talks. Then there is the mall, the mecca of fe male existence. Anyone who has been to the mall has surely noticed the growing number of benches at malls everywhere. And who do you see sitting on these benches? Men. They are told to sit there why their domineering half goes “shopping.” Sure a few escape to the arcade, the toystore or sporting goods and hardware section of a department store, but most are rounded up only to have to endure the torture of being asked, “how do I look in this?” This is their most rigorous form of tor ture. One must think long and hard (and you know how we hate doing that) before an swering, and seldom answer correctly. (My tip to you now is, “Flawless.” But do not over use this or you will end up sounding insin cere, and that will land you in bigger trouble.) If this evil faction has its way, men will be forced to attend such “cultured events” as ballet and operas. Instead of celebrating when the home team scores, we will all give hugs and send A* ? wr % flowers to the losing team’s city. This would also see the end of the professional wrestling, as it would serve no purpose in this society. We would be forced to spend our time at the malls and being sensitive (whatever that means). There would be no monster truck rallies, no fishing tournaments, nothing that we men regard as sacred. We would not be able to hang out with guys without some sort of supervision to keep us subjugated. Men have made great strides in equali ty. Today though, it is still a radical idea that not every thing is the man’s fault. However freedom can never come too soon. The time for action is now, my broth ers. It is time to rise up with your remote controls and long neck bottles, don your N.W.O. T-shirts and smash this feminist oppression that threatens to enslave us all. I only hope the call to action is not too late. Joe Schumacher is a junior journalism major. mis odd. m ' N\cC/\RTNEY SND HED R DOWN HERE SPREftDitte UUDA'S ASHES.... STUDENT LIFE Stress of studying for finals can be combatted with simple steps Jennifer Jones columnist hjoyiJlj vingti imta riate.1 Jthertk jiizedk Id II' hers Mail call Iball." luired classes offer Jo nfortunity for growth Iwlari igo s Po/ise to Mickey Saloma’s el to: College education is not just a i plat tement for a future career, it opportunity for students like If to develop necessary skills oand grow as individuals. As much as certain classes may seem boring, tedious or not in our career destination, they would not be in the curriculum if they were not valuable to our education. Correct me if I am the only stu dent who feels this way, but I do not believe that my high school ed ucation, as Mickey stated, will car ry me far enough in life intellectu ally. The “weed out” English classes teach us how to write and speak properly; the “pointless” Political Science classes inform us about our country and how to be a vot ing citizen. The “boring” history classes we all have to take tell us how and why we are where we are now as free Americans. College is not just a de gree—it is four years of our lives where we have the opportunity to learn about the world, apply these concepts, and become a strong in dependent individual. I do not feel my time here has been wasted— and I hope the majority of students out there do not feel that way ei ther. We are here to learn and take advantage of the knowledge pre sented to us daily. In the words of Mahatma Ghandi, “Live as if you will die tomorrow, but learn as if you will live forever.” The Battalion encourages letters to the ed itor. Letters must be 300 words or less and in clude the author’s name, class, and phone number. The opinion editor reserves the right to edit letters for length, style, and accuracy. Letters may be submitted in person at 013 Reed Mc Donald with a valid student ID. Letters may also be mailed to: The Battalion - Mail Call 013 Reed McDonald Texas A&M University College Station, TX 77843-1111 I t is a cruel joke that finals come at a time when the blooming flora and clear blue skies of spring seem too tempting to resist. By the first day of May, stu dents are stumbling across campus, rushing to complete projects and papers and as signments only to come to the disheartening realization that finals are but a few days off. But this May, instead of be coming the traditional zombie that seems to typify the end-of-semester experience, combat finals stress. • Meditate No, you don’t have to get in the lotus position or stand on your head to achieve this blissftilly peaceful state. Just get comfy (on the floor, in a chair, wherev er), close your eyes and kiss a temporary goodbye to your worries. Toss in a bit of deep breathing coupled with a little positive thinking, and you are on your way to a bona fide semi-conscious state, the perfect escape to the mind-numbing pain of finals pressure. • Exercise Throw on some running shoes and pay a visit to the good old Rec Center our student fees support each se mester. There’s nothing quite like the endorphin high from a hard run or heart-pounding workout. If the Rec doesn’t appeal to your aesthetic needs, partake of the great outdoors: ride a bike, play frisbee, take a walk. Whatever your choice, make it fun, not just another thing to add to your already long “To-do” list. • Stretch Maybe you’re not in the mood to get sweaty. Maybe you don’t have to time in your cramped schedule to set aside 30 minutes for a workout plus clean up time. That’s OK. Try stretching. You can do it just about any time — while studying, before you go to sleep, during class (although not the best idea if you are sitting on the front row). Combined with deep breaths, this will relax and rejuvenate your mind and body. For some serious stretching, check out a yoga class. • Avoid caffeine You can stop snickering now. Yes, I realize that caf feine is a vital substance in the diet of most college students, nay, the life blood. A zillion coffee shops in the area are a testament to Aggies’ fond addiction to the drug. Although caffeine may keep you buzzing through an all-nighter, it is not doing any favors for your body. You retain less information, can get jittery and ner vous and the carbonation that often accompanies caffeinated beverages dehydrates, sapping what little cognitive skills you have left at this point in the se mester. Better to rely on a good night’s sleep (about eight hours) and a test preparation system that does n’t include cramming the night before. • Nap OK, maybe eight hours of sleep a night just isn’t re alistic. Between school, work and all of those other fun activities that keep us busy, sleeping can fall to the bottom of the priority list. That’s when the power nap comes into play. They can be taken anywhere — at home, in the library, on the bus. Wherever there is a spot to rest your head, you can nap. A nap not only allows temporary relief from worries, but can also provide that extra spark of energy upon waking to finish that chemistry chapter you couldn’t seem to make it through earlier. • Regress Blow bubbles, fly a kite, finger paint, climb a tree — become a kid again. Childhood was a carefree time when stress seemed non-existent. Recapture that free-spirited energy again, even if for a brief moment. Don’t be afraid to break out that dusty coloring book and scribble to your heart’s content. Reminding your self of a time when “busy” meant a soccer game and birthday party in the same day helps take the edge off of a stress-filled schedule. Although finals may seem the most foul ending to a rather long spring semester, just remember to keep a little perspective and to take a little time out of your schedule to maintain your sanity. Your mind and body will thank you. Jennifer Jones is a senior psychology major.