onday • March 2, 1998
The Battalion
ERSPECTIVES
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ONE STAR LOWDOWN
.arotv.t.Ls. „u . • - - • - •• -■ - ' •
Controversy over how
disperse Texas
Jobacco money divides
Dave
Johnston
columnist
Ihe Texas to-
xibii baccoset-
^ tlementis
e 6 largest court
' e lenient in the
& :oryofthe
ited States. The
nicotine-
6;hers agreed to
/.5d $15 billion of
ir hard-earned
lof.g money to
• Beat state.
rvu'vVhen politi-
is see dollar signs, they get excited,
en they get excited, they get careless,
he past few months have given unusu-
ca isight into the state’s public servants.
almost immediately, a great public
it >ate began over distribution of the
ney. Texas Attorney General Dan
rales, who was responsible for the suit
linst the tobacco industry, felt it was
a to him to distribute the cash (minus
i n£ ne legal fees) as he saw fit. The state
igi ess swiftly ended his spending
s tree, but decisions still have to be made.
Ot Since this suit was brought on behalf
he taxpayers of the state, perhaps they
Juld all benefit from the proceeds. If
took the entire settlement and sub-
■ 1 cted the lawyers’ chunk of the money
a ?vvh opping $2.3 billion which deserves
ttser inspection later), that leaves $12.7
bn dollars.
|i this money was evenly distributed
ong all Texas citizens, each Texan
mid receive a check for $678 and
ange. If Texans generously let the state
p the change, the public coffers
mid still gain over a million dollars.
Some might argue this plan gives
oney to an undeserving segment of the
ipulation. It is the cigarette smokers
at earned this cash for the state. This
( oney is intended to offset the huge
niedical expenses incurred by long-term
bacco users under state care.
| So an alternate plan could involve of-
. ring cigarette smokers their portion of
e pot — with a few strings. Each tobac-
i smoker in the state could get a letter
fering a check for $2,700 if they agree
never again set foot in a hospital or
Actor’s office anywhere in the state,
sy, if people are willing to play the lot-
ry, they might accept such a generous
fer from the folks in Austin.
I he state seems to have no problem
spending money, but more a violent dis
cussion has centered around the legal fees
related to the ruling.
The attorneys responsible for this
settlement were promised 15 percent of
the proceeds, but no one expected to
dish out $2.3 billion to the lawyers (as
though the remaining $12.7 billion is
suddenly too small an amount).
A similar debate is going on in Flori
da where lawyers are owed $2.8 billion
of that state’s tobacco money. Fortu
nately, our lawyers selflessly limited
their cut to 15 percent instead of the 25
percent demanded by the greedy jurists
in the Sunshine State.
In Texas, Morales hired lawyers
whose political leanings were similar to
his own. In fact, many of the lawyers
had contributed to Morales’ campaigns
(of course, he’s not going to hire his
arch-rivals).
This leave state Republicans in a
serious position. They must make
sure good, conservative tobacco mon
ey doesn’t line the pockets of evil, De
mocratic lawyers.
The lawyers’ portion is definitely
hefty. If the money were divided evenly,
each lawyer attached to the case will get
about $35 million. This sum is intimi
dating on its own, but imagine what
these legal beagles could do if they
pooled their resources.
Assuming it costs $60 million to run
for president, if the entire $2.3 billion
were hidden in a bank, the money
would provide enough cash to finance
10 presidential candidates every four
years. The country has yet to recover
from a single Ross Perot. If Perot bought
large chunks of media air time, these
guys could rent prime time for the
whole month of November.
Texas officials will be locked in arbi
tration for some time over the final dis
tribution of the tobacco settlement
money, and the issue is complicated.
Yet the original lawsuit is terribly dis
turbing. The state has legalized tobacco
and taxed its sale for years, but sudden
ly the elite are seeking more money and
blaming big tobacco for all sorts of
griefs. Responsibility for widespread to
bacco use and illness does not end with
the growers and marketers.
Dave Johnston is a senior
mathematics major.
Jennifer
Jones
columnist
I t’s the year 2001, the start of
the new millennium. NASA
has launched a mission to
Mars in search of alien life, the
world has yet to experience the
fiery Armageddon Nostradamus
prophetized and Titanic is still
number one at the box office. It’s
the stuff science fiction is made
of, right?
Not anymore. Federal agencies
currently are designing a labora
tory to protect Earth from any
alien microbes that might be con
tained in samples a planned expedition to Mars
might bring back.
But what if these missions to Mars turn up noth
ing? What if the samples contain nothing but space
dust minus any cuddly alien life forms? What hap
pens to all the American industries who have profited
so heavily from supposed extraterrestrial life?
After all, a substantial chunk of the entertain
ment industry is centered around the possibility of
alien life.
Think Independence Day, Alien Resurrection, E. T.
Think Spacehog and UFOFU.
Think Marvin the Martian and Space Ghost.
Think “Mork and Mindy,” “The X-files,” “A.L.F.”
From Roswell to Men in Black, popular culture is
obsessed with the possibility of aliens and govern
ment conspiracy. If aliens fail to be discovered, will all
of America’s fantasies about extraterrestrial life sud
denly vanish?
It is highly unlikely. Simply because a mission to
Mars yields absolutely no evidence of aliens does not
mean there is not life out there somewhere, right? At
least that is what Hollywood and the rest of the enter
tainment folks are banking on: American’s ability to
believe in something or someone even in the face of
glaring evidence.
Think Gennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, Monica
Lewinsky.
But then again, what if this planned space expe
dition does turn up something? Think of the mar
keting possibilities.
Just as M&M’s is the “official” candy of the new
millennium, Mars Bars will no doubt become the
official candy of alien microbes. And why stop
there? When it comes to food, we will all be snack
ing on Microbe Munchies while watching the final
episode of “The X-files” where Mulder prances
through FBI headquarters chanting “I told you so”
to all of the non-believers.
In an age of remakes and sequel-happy producers,
old favorites like “My Favorite Martian” and “Out of
This World” will likely make reappearances on our
television sets.
Movies will of course get a huge boost from the
discovery of life on another planet. Titanic, the movie
that grossed over a zillion dollars, finally will be
pushed out of the number-one slot by Mars Attacks II,
this time featuring a dismal portrayal of a scary, alien
virus attacking Earth’s people and destroying the
world. Nothing like the fear of annihilation to get peo
ple pouring into the box office.
Much like the Barney craze a few years ago, there
is no question that children’s merchandisers will run
with the newest fad. From clothing to videos, no
market will be left untapped.
Martians will be everywhere, from velcro sneak
ers to plastic lunch boxes. Fake alien antennas made
out of headbands, pipe cleaners and glitter-covered
foam balls will experience a resurgence in populari
ty and make snazzy party favors at children’s birth
day parties.
Remember, just because a microbe is not as
warm and fuzzy as, say, an Ewok does not mean
merchandisers can’t turn a buck.
Regardless of what NASA finds in it expeditions to
Mars, one thing is certain: America will find a way to
profit. And that’s OK. Capitalism lives on. Bring on the lit
tle green men. Or not. Either way, we’re ready for them.
Jennifer Jones is a senior psychology major.
STUDENT LIFE
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Aggie ring valued more than degrees
Len
Callaway
columnist
E ach year new
students come
toA&M and
are indoctrinated as
Aggies.
Freshmen and
transfers alike are al
lowed to call them
selves Aggies, partic
ipate in yells, wear
Texas A&M T-shirts
and a whole host of
other traditions asso
ciated with being a
student at A&M.
The Aggie ring policy for undergraduates
requires one to have a minimum of 95 hours
of credit, 60 of which must be earned “in
residency” at A&M before one can be per
mitted to order their class ring. However,
one is permitted by the powers at Heaton
Hall to transfer into A&M with as few as 36
hours remaining towards their degree.
All 36 hours must then be taken at
A&M, however, three years at Po Dunk Ju
nior College and two 18-hour semesters in
Aggieland will net one an Aggie degree
and subsequently an Aggie ring.
Does this seem odd to anyone else?
Our administration has once again gone
in so many different directions at once
that no one really knows what is going on
around here. One of our entities is jaded
against the very people it will soon repre
sent and one is biased towards those that
have never attended school here.
The policies of Heaton Hall and the As
sociation of Former Students stand in di
rect conflict with one another and both
policies are in need of reevaluation.
The old Aggie adage says “once an Ag
gie, always an Aggie” not “once one has
their ring one is always an Aggie, until
such time as one no longer has their ring
then they will cease being an Aggie until
the ring is replaced.” Nor does the yell say
“Farmers with rings fight, Farmers with
rings fight, Farmers with rings, Farmers
with rings, yeah, we’re alright.”
As one traverses our campus it appears
that no one shares the ring office’s open
hostility toward A&M’s transfer students.
Nary a T-shirt can be seen with a slogan
such as “ Highway 6 runs both ways,
transfers go back from whence ye came.”
However, the ring office seems to feel
Aggies are not trustworthy enough to be is
sued a ring until certain criteria are met.
Due to the tradition and honor associated
with the Aggie ring, the policy is under
standable, but, none the less inappropriate.
A quick phone call to the ring office will
reveal that some Aggies used to quit
school upon the receipt of their rings and
then use the rings for the purpose of jobs.
No sensible Aggie would ever invest the
time necessary to earn 95 hours of credit
toward their Aggie degree, get their ring
and say adios.
However, this is exactly what some of
our compatriots have done and now rea
sonable, dedicated and ethical Aggies are
paying the price.
Associate Executive Director for
Alumni Programs at the Association of
Former Students, Porter Garner, has
gone on record recently by saying the
policy is meant to “preserve the integrity
of the Aggie ring.” Mr. Garner is right,
the integrity of the Aggie ring does need
to be protected and preserved but so
does the Aggie degree.
Just in case someone has missed the
point, the administration has allowed
Heaton Hall and the admissions office to
de-value the Aggie degree to the point that
it now only takes a minimum of 36 hours to
earn the right to graduate from Texas A&M.
There is an obvious and more appro
priate alternative available to both entities
to remedy this paradox while preserving
both sets of interests.
Switch the mandates, that’s right, 60
residency hours to earn a degree and 36
for the ring. This way everyone has the
ability to earn the privilege of wearing
their Aggie ring while still a currently-
enrolled student.
Plus, students are required to spend
more time in residency at A&M to earn
their degree, thereby increasing the likeli
hood that each student graduating from
A&M has had adequate exposure to the
A&M curriculum.
Whatever the solution might be, it’s a
bit ridiculous to protect one’s symbol
more than one’s self. After all, what will
an entities symbol be worth if the in
tegrity of the entity is continually at risk
for compromise.
Len Callaway is ajunior
journalism major.
MAIL CALL
Truth should be basis
for opinions, not parties
In response to Donny Ferguson’s Feb.
26 column:
Is there any sort of requirement
that writers in The Battalion re
search their topics before spouting
uneducated propaganda on the
pages of our newspaper? The most
recent edition of Ferguson’s ultra-
right-wing drivel leads me to believe
that there is no such regulation.
First of all, I want to declare
I am a conservative, and I am
not a supporter of the Clinton
administration. But my very
own conservative ideals are
made to look foolish by Fergu
son’s uneducated ramblings.
The major point Ferguson
seems to ignore is Clinton was
not involved with the talks in
which U.N. Secretary General
Kofi Annan “forged another
‘diplomatic solution.’”
I am, quite possibly, the
strongest supporter of military
strikes against Iraq, however, I
also understand the facts: mili
tary strikes do not represent
“the will of the global commu
nity,” as much as I would like
that to be the case. Sixty per
cent of the U.N. Security
Council is opposed to this
course of action, albeit for self
ish reasons involving trade
agreements. I have come to
the conclusion military action
is the only effective solution.
Ferguson may agree with this,
but he should not attempt to
delude his readers into believ
ing this is the international
consensus.
As for the comments about
what a “real president” would
do ... last time I checked, the
Grenada operation and the
Persian Gulf War were both
undertaken for reasons some
what less romantic than im
proving “the prospects for
peace... in the region.”
I wouldn’t expect Ferguson
to understand this, though; if
“a high-ranking Republican
official” was quoted as saying
the goal of the United States
was to make the world a bet
ter place, then (in the polisci-
major-Congressional-aide-
start-up-kit mentality) that’s
the way it really must be.
For a long time, I have been
annoyed by the liberal lean
ings of The Battalion. But
now — liberal or conserva
tive — I am tired of seeing
partisan politics espoused in
the filth which often occu
pies the space beneath Fer
guson’s picture. So please —
learn enough about the is
sues to form an opinion in
dependent of your political
ideology, and... tell the truth.
Christopher Mewitt
Class of’01
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The opinion editor reserves the right
to edit letters for length, style, and ac
curacy. Letters may be submitted in per
son at 013 Reed McDonald with a valid
student ID. Letters may also be mailed
to:
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013 Reed McDonald
Texas A&M University
College Station, TX
77843-1111