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addam's stash
r aqi leader hides pop-culture collection, not weapons in his palace
ell it’s a-one, two,
three, four, well what
are we (tentatively)
ting for? Good question,
situation, as reported by
/News, the voice of our
eration, is something like
: Saddam refuses to recog-
the skills of the United
es and the free-world
;e, so we have to step in
regulate. Saddam is all,
mical weapons? Here?
It’s whack.” And we’re all,
Chris
Martin
columnist
it be frontin’ Saddam. We heard you got more
ibs than theWB!”
lut before we all march gallantly off to battle, it’s
w^togive Saddam the benefit of the doubt. Time to
devil’s advocate, so to speak. So what if Saddam
giving U.N. weapon inspectors access to his pri-
presidential palace? We only find this shocking
insulting because our own leaders have no guff
ut sharing their privates,
tl™ tot that there isn’t justifiable reason for alarm. It is
rtifiedfact Saddam is crazier than a crack-house
id ( He’s creepier than those Girl Scouts who go
md collecting used eyeglasses. Doomsday
pons are to Saddam what tired, internet-circulat-
ikesare to morning radio DJs.
erhaps Saddam isn’t hiding weapons in his
e ^Ice. Maybe the whole thing has been blown way
ofproportion. His stash could be completely
iatd nless. Remember when the principal tried to
ow chyour locker in high school? It wasn’t a .45 you
Md ehiding in there — it was a lipstick-encrusted pic-
sinti s h r i ne to Scott Baio and Jordan from New Kids
he Block.
pot iseems that the government has adopted the Jer-
pringer formula for success: when the numbers
right, start a fight. Since there’s no official gov-
ent bureau of positive thinking, I’ve taken the
ippei
:am:
alfii
liberty of creating a few positive scenarios for the
benefit of peace in the Middle East. What is Saddam
hiding? Why, it could be ...
• Beanie Babies
Saddam isn’t stupid. He knows that when a na
tion’s economy implodes, the people turn to col
lectible bric-a-brac for currency. And what is more
collectible than Beanie Babies? The more you think
about it, the more it makes sense. That’s why you
can’t find any purple princess bears. And when
you’re the sire of a thousand bastard children, a well
placed Beanie Baby helps to keep down the noise
level in the presidential palace.
• A Secret Surprise Party!
No one knows how to spoil a party like the United
States. We’re like the brat kid down the street that no
one likes to play with because she’s always making up
rules as you play so she always wins. Perhaps Saddam
has been slaving away in the presidential kitchen
making the mother of all Rice Krispie Treats for
Chelsea Clinton’s 18th birthday.
• Tupac, Notorious B.I.G., and John Denver
If you think the whole east coast vs.west coast situ
ation is ugly, then check out the Tigris vs. Euphrates
scene. Saddam needs American rap superstars, kid
napped during their peak, brainwashed and signed to
the original Death Row record label. Denver was a
special request from Mrs. Hussein. Go figure.
• Rows and rows of Anthrax... albums!
This chemical weapon thing has been a big misun
derstanding. When we heard it that Saddam had An
thrax, we thought it was the disease, not the cool met
al band. The road to white-trash America may be
paved with “Among the Living,” somebody had to buy
all those copies of “Stomp 442.”
• The Classic Henway Rouse
Okay, get this. UN inspectors pull up to the palace, all
official and proper, and ask Saddam whafs in the palace.
Saddam says, “oh, nothing but a henway.” Then the in
spectors ask, “what’s a henway,” and Saddam says,
“about three pounds!” Laughs and world peace ensue.
• Horrible Human-Rights Violations
Picture thousands of tortured Iraqi waif children,
who because of harsh economic sanctions from the
US, have yet to see Titanic. The horror, the horror.
• Four hundred metric tons of processed pumpkin pie
filler and a flyswatter
It is not our question to ask why, but to respect the
private affairs of a consenting mad dictator.
It’s about time someone went to bat for Saddam.
Just because you have something to hide doesn’t mean
you’ve done anything wrong. Saddam may be crazy,
but so is James Cameron, and look how he proved
everyone wrong. Let’s just hope this time we don’t all
go down with the ship. Women and columnists first!
Chris Martin is a senior journalism major.
TATE OF THE UNION
)eath row inmate stands as example of rights’ violations
D on’t tell me
about the
valley of
Shadow of Death. I
there...
In south-central
nsylvania’s Hunt-
on County a 100-
:-old prison stands,
ithic towers pro-
belf ing an air of fore-
ling, evoking a
was* my mood of the
tAges. I and some
ito
Joe
Schumacher
columnist
ithermen spend about 22 hours a day in
and by 10-foot cells.”
-Mumia Abu-Jamal, from the Preface
he 5 iveFrom Death Row.
lamd In 1981, America was third behind
s® isiaand South Africa in percentage of
filiation in prison.With both of these
ernments undergoing radical change
bin the past 15 years, America is now
irsO mberone.
Thursday marked a day set aside for
b recognition of one prisoner unjustly
Death Row.This man’s name is Mumia
!W# njamal.
bbu-jamal is a prominent, black
I del* ladcast journalist. In Philadelphia in
,the current mayor, Frank Rizzo and
rie 1 * ^Philadelphia Police Department
Mched a campaign against a human
btsorganization known as MOVE.
This led to police raids, attacks, and
beatings. Abu-Jamal used his radio show as
a forum for those to speak out against the
injustices of the police, and their corrupt
activities.This marred him as an enemy of
the Philadelphia Police Department.
One night in 1981, Abu-Jamal tried to
intervene on behalf of his brother who was
being beaten by a police officer. He and
the officer were shot. More police arrived
on the scene. When they realized who was
bleeding at their feet, they continued to
beat Abu-Jamal before he was taken to the
hospital. The wounded police officer died,
and Abu-Jamal was charged.
Being a taxi cab driver, Abu-Jamal had
a license to carry a weapon.
However, several pieces of evidence
point to the fact he did not shoot the cop.
The bullet that struck the cop had been
“lost” while in the police files.The officer
died with a driver’s license in his hand that
belonged to another “anonymous” indi
vidual. Additionally, two men were seen
fleeing the scene.
Yet almost no effort was made to track
down or identify these two people. The
shooter was described by many other
witnesses to be taller than 6’2” and
weigh more than 225 pounds, Abu-Jamal
is 6’1” and weighs 170 pounds.
Presiding over the court case was “Hon
orable” Judge Albert Sabo, who had put
more people on death row than any other
judge in America at the time. The prosecu
tor was an experienced lawyer who had ob
tained a murder verdict for an innocent
man in a previous case (Commonwealth v.
Conner). The defendant in that case served
12 years before being rightfully released.
The only person lacking experience in
the court was Abu-Jamal’s court-appointed
lawyer.The defense was allocated a meager
sum of $150 for Abu-Jamal’s defense fund.
While the police questioned 125 witnesses,
did tests on ballistics and pathology, the
defense found two witnesses, neither of
whom appeared in court.
Abu-Jamal had originally opted to de
fend himself, but was removed on the third
day of jury selection. The prosecutors
claimed he was intimidating to would-be ju
rors. His court-appointed attorney took over
rather reluctantly and was extremely unpre
pared. Included on the jury was a man
whose best friend was a Philadelphia police
officer who was disabled after being shot on
the job, and the wife of a police officer was
selected as an alternate. The prosecution
used 11 of 15 peremptory challenges to re
move African-American jurors.
In less than a week, the prosecution had
presented its case against Abu-Jamal, and
most of it in his absence. He was removed
for his insistency of his right to defend him
self and protesting the fact his lawyer was
unwilling and unqualified to defend him.
The prosecutors had a list of shady wit
nesses, none of whom were asked to iden
tify Abu-Jamal in a line-up. The prosecu
tion’s key witness was a prostitute who had
been arrested 35 times. She changed her
account of the story every time she was
questioned. Another prostitute in the
same area was offered an interesting deal
by the prosecution: testimony against
Abu-Jamal for immunity from arrest.
Another witness was on parole at the
time because somebody paid him to
throw a Molotov Cocktail into a public
school. His original statement was that he
saw the shooter leave the scene. In his
court testimony he altered it saying he
saw the shooter sit down on the curb. It is
possible he altered his testimony out fear
from or to gain favor with the police.
Abu-Jamal was found guilty, and in the
sentencing phase of his trial, the prosecu
tion read from his political writings. Most
of the readings came from when he was 16
years old and a member of the Black Pan
ther Party, nearly 12 years before the trial.
The intent was to prove Abu-Jamal was
a man who had grown up with no respect
for American law or society, and he killed
the cop out of disgust for the system,
which was enough premeditation to war
rant a first-degree murder verdict.
Ironically, Abu-Jamal never had a previ
ous conviction, and with the shady lengths
the prosecution went to, it makes one
wonder who really showed a lack of re
spect for the system.
Abu-Jamal has not given up on his fight
for his innocence. He broadcasts from jail,
once a month in a segment called, “Live
from Death Row.” Through the use of me
dia, “he is fighting for his life.”
He has published a book, against the will
of many people, also called Live from Death
Row. There have been many attempts to si
lence him, including trying to censor his
show. Abu-Jamal was also put in disciplinary
confinement for the publishing of his book.
Apparently the First Amendment rights are
not extended to prisoners. He is currently on
administrative custody, as are all the people
on Death Row.
Abu-Jamal was almost executed in
1995, however international outcry post
poned this. The very fact that a man can
be put on death row for his political be
liefs should be horrifying to anyone that
claims to be an American.
The original trial was a travesty of justice:
most of the evidence was falsified or circum
stantial, the defense was not given adequate
support, and using a man’s former political
alliances to convict and sentence liim was
ruled unconstitutional by the Supreme court
[Dawson v. Delaware, 503 U.S. 159 (1992)).
Until Mumia Abu-Jamal is released from his
political captivity, no one in America is free.
Joe Schumacher is a junior
journalism major.
CENDERSCOPE
fomen oppress themselves by obsessing over appearance
Michelle
Voss
columnist
O ur Bodies... Make
Us Worry.” These
words were scrawled
[feewalls of a bathroom at
%an University in a unfor-
iteparody of the title Our
dies, Our Selves.
Published in 1970, OurBod-
WurSelves, became an icon
f the feminist movement of the
h)'70s, which, at the time, was
ftingup the social climate for
Wade in 1973.
■\’ow, in the ’90s, this phrase
Sheen twisted to imply a loss of freedom. The phrase
^Bodies Make Us Worry” points out the irony of the
T«nist movement and unmasks the anxieties of
■ttien in America today.
Infact, it is pointing to the very failure of the femi-
Sfmovement. It is ironic that a movement intended
■iherate women has only confined them to a life of
fedespair over, of all things, themselves.
American women are still suffering from the dis-
s ethathas plagued our Western thinking for hun-
:e <lsof years, but perhaps to the extreme.
Women are still objects. Our advertising, our
movies, our literature, our television, all cripple
women into becoming objects of desire.
As John Berger writes, “Men look at women.
Women watch themselves being looked at. This deter
mines not only the relations of men to women, but the
relation of women to themselves.”
We cannot say the objectification of women in our
culture is just a function of hegemonic patriarchy.
Rather, it is quite possible to say women oppress
themselves.
Herein lies the ultimate challenge for feminism in
the late 20th and early 21st centuries: Women every
where must work to publicize role models for young
women who have accomplished great tasks — not just
women who have flawless skin, slim hips and gleaming
teeth and wear a size-6 cocktail dress.
Today, American women are stifled by an epidemic
we only inflict upon ourselves. We worry how others
see our bodies. This is no kind of life.
A life where many women are their own worst
enemy. A life where many women have no self-es
teem. A life where many women besiege themselves
with criticism and punishment because of the way
their bodies look.
We subconsciously program ourselves to believe ar
bitrary numbers such as 6,8,10 or 12 determine how
others perceive us. Indeed, we would not be so obsessed
with these numbers if we did not have this preoccupa
tion with others looking at us.
We believe someone is always watching us, because
that is how women are presented in commercials, in
magazines and in the cinema.
The camera lens is always gazing upon the woman
as an object to be admired, captured within an image.
She has nothing of import to say, except maybe, “It
won’t happen overnight, but it will happen.” Beauty
can be yours, too, and it is all you need. Just look at
me, I’m obviously ecstatic about my hair.
So, we buy into this modern paradigm — literally.
We buy products because we believe that we will be
come more a desirable object for others.
Autonomy? Liberation? What a joke!
As Christopher Lasch said in his book, The Culture
of Narcissism, “Ads encourage the pseudo-emancipa
tion of women through consumerism.”
In other words, women delude themselves into
thinking they have freedom merely because they have
the freedom to choose what brand of deodorant,
shampoo or lip-gloss to buy.
All of this points to a rather disturbing factor:
Women in America are overly self-conscious about
their appearance, but sadly, not self-aware.
We spend so much time worrying how others will see
our bodies that we forget to work on our minds, spirits
and hearts. We are weak from the inside out. This is obvi
ous when someone comments on our weight, clothes
or skin and we feel hurt, betrayed and rejected.
If we had a stronger focus on developing the intel
lect and souls of our girls, they would be more resilient
or even immune to criticism of their bodies.
Instead, we are left feeling crushed every time we
look in the mirror and wonder what others think.
We cannot allow ourselves to remain the objects of
other’s desire or envy or to be defined by superficiality.
We must work to change the role models for girls
in America.
Rather than Cindy Crawford, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jen
nifer Aniston, Tyra Banks and other swimsuit models
acting as the “ideal” representations of women in
America, we must change our perspective.
We should focus on achievements — Sandra Day O’
Connor, Madeleine Albright, Katherine Graham. These
women have proven themselves.
They may not be a size 4 and have firm thighs, but they
are brilliant and strong.
We can no longer be afraid of our selves.
Michelle Voss is a sophomore English major.