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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Nov. 25, 1997)
'nbersJ ?sday • November 25, 1997 O The Battalion PINION he Crying Game Odets' ; usatij \p) _ s ei 3 ry Acaderl ■y were tei 1 o knocke Jally ass d (' Mni p Moms of’97! r gie Moms’Fish Camp becomes little more than mingling of meddlesome mothers dthi ' mimpton Motel is really revvin’ fmirall us moms who can’t let go ^Wghtiri back our tears of woe! Pttle be Pf thef- m or yo. Prina. pentp ark in landta also ma( I Asian Idhassd ibuigffl I Asia.Eu I analyse lar hole by buying bed proi (round, b report (x ap- i and of |nalysis ds 30 and ft i six col kersat Kendall Kelly columnist :uffe_. he fourth annual Aggie Moms’ Fish Camp was held in College Station last end. How exciting. Calling [lommies to pack up their sonites, load up the Subur- >, and head on down to the ^Jipton for a weekend of ndid fun. vou l he PTA Alumni Club must have skipped their ting one weekend, because the November 14 ip attracted the largest group of Aggie Moms in history of the program. ggie Moms’ Fish Camp focuses on teaching hers ofA&M students about Aggie traditions aims at helping the moms to deal with having in college. is a ridiculous waste of time that there is an en- weekend spent counseling mothers that they will okay” now that little Johnny is away in the big, ide rf world co ^ e 8 e - Th‘ s concept moves right hactatl lugh the strange category and smoothly into the letic range. Mothers who need counselors to get them through heartache of not having anything to do now that ren are gone need to let go of the security^ they eirkids provide. Jggie Moms’ Fish Camp Co-Chair Helen Wieters, ^7 ohas had the purging experience of attending this -day therapy session, said that “The getting to iler part of Moms’ Fish Camp is awesome. We all our kids are the cream of the crop since they are and that makes us feel like really great women.” thought that the parents who got satisfaction ough their kids’ accomplishments were a thing left back in high school, but apparently not. Workshops at the Moms’ Fish Camp entitled “The Empty Nest Syn drome” prove this assumption wrong. Sessions such as these encourage moms that they are not alone in their bon-bon eating sessions and of fer assistance in making it through this tough time. Don’t mistake my critique of Aggie Moms’ Fish Camp as waivering faith in the Aggie Spirit. I have been a part of Fish Camp for three years and feel like I embrace the spirit of Aggieland to the fullest. Aggie tradition is what made me, like thousands of other Aggies, fall in love with this University. Teaching Aggie moms at Fish Camp about our classic tradition and spirit is wonderful, but the re mainder of the weekend is just plain nauseating. The theory behind the camp is valid, but the prod uct of Fish Camp and Aggie Moms’ Camp is just not the same. Aggie Moms’ Camp is a poor replica of the real thing and encourages a graduated version of high school moms who are always more involved in their children’s lives than was really necessary. A camp such as this is a blow to those women who do have a lifestyle mutually exclusive from their children. One Aggie mom exclaimed how great she thought it was that students say “Howdy.” She further ex plained by saying she feels that students see her and other Aggie moms on campus and seem to say, “Gee, I wish my mom were here.” 1 would be embarrassed if my mom were here tak ing part in such a waste of a tradition. To have a camp promoting thoughts such as these does not seem to serve any sort of real purpose, ex cept a little feel good assurance that these lonely moms really are needed. Since this whole she bang seems like a reunion of project prom planners, I won’t hesitate to borrow an old high school cliche and tell these moms to “get a life.” Kendall Kelly is a junior Spanish major. lossing over historical errors nisses lessons offered future proba- J wy safe to lay that all lilized |. cities, ,some Hobby Ray columnist nencans to- harbor an tense ame for the |acy of slav- fand geno me which is J indelible ^ rt of this fatft ilion’s histo- n ft and of the history of the world, re fl) 1 Most would also agree that the a lyto ensure that such heinous asM stitutions will never surface Fort ;ain is to instill in the younger D® aerations both a respect for ere eir fellow man and a knowledge e ^ the terrible injustices which ut ose institutions created. In our ■ m state there are such people, , it they are being thwarted by 0 0 ose who claim to support justice J id equality. ' Earlier this year, the Lexington reek Elementary School con- l sfe , acted a program designed to L ac h fifth graders what it was | as j te to be a runaway slave fleeing irlife on the Underground Rail- ives | ted before the Civil War. The Hgtio rogram consisted of several ac- tides intended to allow the chil- ren to get a small taste of what it was like to be traveling on the Underground Railroad. Also this year, 11 year-old Brian Campbell of Tempe, Arizona, filed a lawsuit against his local school district and a manufacturer of computer software. His complaint is that the school district subjected him to “the humiliation of playing a game in front of his peers and classmates” simulating an escape on the Underground Railroad. This semester, as part of a class on Eastern and Oriental religions, a large swastika was posted on the wall of a Texas A&M classroom. Despite the fact that it is, in actual ity, an ancient religious symbol and that there was a sign posted prominently on the wall to that ef fect, complaints were lodged forc ing the removal of the swastika. The commonality among all these stories is that all of them fea ture people who would rather cen sor history than learn from it. This is an ever-increasing trend in this country, and is both a serious problem and an ominous sign of a larger ill in our society. Sensitivity has become such a high priority in America today that we are unwilling to face any situa tion in our collective past which is in any way unpleasant and/or of fensive to anyone. Even when they relate directly to life today, these issues are rarely discussed, and when they are, it is usually because some teacher or professor has a politi cal agenda to advance. As a society which claims to be civilized, the United States recog nizes the horrors of slavery, geno cide, racism and the like. But if these things are not allowed to be discussed, if we cannot teach our children about these repulsive practices, then there is no way that we can ensure that the children tru ly understand and realize that these things are loathsome and wrong. The only way that a civilized society can be certain that it will remain civilized is to be willing to discuss the errors of the past, fig ure out why they happened and determine what can be done to prevent their reoccurrence. Americans need to stop being so immature and oversensitive and constantly looking for the next reason to be offended. This will be difficult in a society which is as shallow and self-centered as ours, but it is possible and can be gin right here as soon as Aggies re alize that education is more im portant than hurt feelings. Robby Ray is a senior speech communications major. toy WAS HE SURPRISED \j5eh WE PULLED OUT Kk L' mm. o n o a O-o, r^i >TexA$ Clinton controversies can be attributed to CIA conspiracy Donny Ferguson columnist ood -news x-- Files zealots. No, investi gators have not yet dis covered Michael Bolton and Kenny G are actually part of an Iraqi terrorist plot to destroy Ameri cans’ will to live. But recently disclosed Penta gon documents reveal United States military strategists plot ted to harass and humiliate Cuban dictator Fidel Castro in the early 1960s. Dubbed “Operation Dirty Trick,” Pentagon officials planned everything from circu lating fake photos of an over weight Castro cavorting with bikini-clad girls to sinking a U.S. warship to provoke war, even blaming Cuban saboteurs in the event of a space disaster. Though the plan was never se riously considered, it did lay the foundation for a similar cabal thir ty years later. Once again, a lecher ous, overweight, big-government world leader is the target of a Pen tagon plot. In classic Oliver Stone- JFK fashion, our own Philanderer- In-Chief is the victim of a secret conspiracy to embarrass and destabilize his administration. Code-named “Operation Carter TWo,” military specialists have spent the past five years planting fake photos, forging billing records and even planned to kill White House Advisor Vince Foster, until an unnamed as sailant got to him first. A handkerchief embroidered “HRC" and a tattered copy of It Takes A Village were found at the scene. Attorney General Janet Reno is baffled and vows to “burn down the compound of the scum who did this.” Set into motion in the early months of the 1992 presidential campaign, Carter Two audio en gineers successfully cut-and pasted portions of Clinton speeches and combined them with secretly taped conversations of one Gennifer Flowers, an Arkansas state employee. The highly-trained specialists were so good, they created sexu ally explicit conversations be tween the married Governor and Flowers, even dubbing Clinton’s voice to say New York Governor Mario Cuomo “has Mafia ties.” With the help of a computer chip secretly implanted in Clin ton’s vocal cords by doctors, he was even forced to promise tax cuts, welfare reform and a bal anced budget. When he failed to deliver on his phony promises, the newly- elected Republican Congress fi nally passed tax cuts, welfare re form and a balanced budget. Feeling election year pressure, an embarrassed Clinton was forced to sign them into law. Fortunately, White House ad visor George Stephanopolous ap peared on “Larry King Live” and cleared up the confusion by re minding Americans their Presi dent (no kidding here) “has kept the promises he meant to keep.” But like any good government conspiracy, it even extends to his private life. CIA photo experts have reproduced superimposed photos and videotapes showing Vice-President A1 Gore and Bill and Hillary Clinton greeting convicted Colombian drug smuggler Jorge Cabreras at a White House Christmas party. The tampered video tapes show a relaxed Clinton yukking it up with Indonesian businessmen in the Oval Office, who later gave thousands of dollars to the De mocratic National Committee. No one is safe. Even Gore’s character has been impugned by Carter Two. Forged phone records proving Gore made highly illegal campaign fundraising phone calls from federal property' are the work of professional phone- record-tampering specialists. Careful study of videotape of the White House press confer ence in which Gore responded tot he charges show computer chips in his vocal cords also forced him to say he was proud of what he did, and federal law did not apply to him. Those photos of Gore raising more illegal cash in laundered money in a Buddhist temple from nuns who have taken a vow of poverty are also part of the conspiracy. Upon closer ex amination one will see the sup posed Gore is actually a 5’9” Dutch Elm dressed in a suit and tie. A card showing how to say, “Make that check out to the DNC” in fourteen different lan guages has also been carefully pasted onto the photographs. Diabolical military spin doc tors have also manipulated the Presidency by using mind control techniques forcing Clinton to veto tax cuts for the working poor, school vouchers for inner-city children, program-saving Medicare reform, bans on partial- birth abortions even pro-choicers call “infanticide” and faked waivers to allow rich Democratic donors to be buried in Arlington National Cemetery next to war heroes and presidents. In fact, every slip-up, mis take, scandal, ethical shortfall and lapse in leadership is the maniacal work of Machiavellian Pentagon officials. A dumbfounded Clinton was informed of the plot while ap pearing on NBC’s “Meet the Press” last week. Shocked, he could only re spond, “Yes. Yes! A conspiracy. Yeah, man, that’ll work. Shame on the Pentagon!” Clearly shaken by the news, he ran to his chief advisor James Carville and smothered him in a big bear hug, and Clinton later took to a Georgetown-area Dairy Queen. According to uncon firmed reports, Carville was treat ed to a Fun Bunch Lunch and large sundae. Rushing to the fast-food es tablishment to comfort the Pres ident, Attorney General Janet Reno has decided not to appoint a special counsel to confirm the existence of the plot. She had a Hunger Buster, chicken finger basket, another Hunger Buster, large fries, two Belt Busters, an other Hunger Buster, a large sundae and fifty pounds of ground beef sitting in a back room freezer. White House officials deny any link between offers of food and the refusal to stop the plot. Addressing a frightened na tion, Clinton said, “Americans from Main Street to Pennsylvania Avenue should be shaken and disturbed by the news. What kind of nation do we live in when the Governor of Arkansas can’t drop his pants in a hotel room without someone blowing it out of proportion? From now on, whenever I veto a tax cut, compromise national security in exchange for money and disgrace the Presidency, I just know dark forces within the government are going to try to make it look bad.” Donny Ferguson is a junior political science major.