mber 1, 1997
flonday • September 1, 1997
l Fatburger by any
Gther name...
il-CS businesses need to rethink names
B
j ryan-College Station is full
.ofbusinesses that cater to
'col-
Tgestu-
pts,
•iiich is
i
;iood since
hr*l
’ College
jiation is a
<£+ f
iwnfull
• .
College
students.
’ Unfor-
John
imately,
Lemons
iereisa
columnist
jownside
shaving hundreds of business-
ssimultaneously trying to at-
act students
money. After all,
flthere is one
universal con-
slant, it is that
college students
Jiave exceptionally had taste. As
•result, Bryan
-College Station is
5 iofbusinesses with names
| hat could nev
er exist in the real
; raid.
Obviously,
this fact doesn't
:!otherniost Aggies, as these
iteinesses se
em to thrive, de-
ate their qiu
astionable
'iaonikers. I, h
owever, have dif-
pity patron
zing businesses
jith distaste!'
j1 names.
J Easily the c
ddest restaurant
nme in town
is Fatburger. It is
liame which
reminds its cus-
,:mersof the
ilaque collecting
111 their arterit
s with each juicy
jiite of their h;
imburgers. For
imately, Colk
ge Station is
Jessed with a
Fatburger.
Icannot understand how a
staurant with a name that is
nonymous with greasy lard
in survive in any market. Most
romise still cannot'
ents still have the
nga mediation ser-
; a room change.
I has always been ieople in America find the
n freedom and one ; inspect of munching on gristle
i privacy. The last ]53bun unappealing,
students had was ! Atleast Fatburger is honest. It
aby brother when ales no attempt whatsoever
ars old. And manypconvince its patrons that any-
is no help when a Jag on its menu has nutrition-
e st ill acts that age. palue. Imagine if Fatburger at-
ppted to market itself to
peaple who choose to eat
teiy. It could rename itself
< k-Fatburger.” "Low-l'atburg-
ff’would easily dominate the
lumburger industry.
College Station also has its
<irshare of strangely-named
urs. Consider Barracuda Bar,
^establishment that screams
Ifdator. Barracudas are not
2e animals. They savagely eat
idler fish. Wlio wants to be
Syforan angry barracuda
men they go out?
Speaking of going out, Club
lone is a place I just can’t force
self to visit. It is too depress-
ig.Noteven the most die-hard
Jvironmentalist wants to
md their Thursday night in
iiestablishment that constant-
reminds them of impending
NOR
ion of Alcohol
o consume or
lible presence
ise.
to Purchase
mder21 years
: beverages,
nation.
misdemeanor
indicating an
■son selling or
I offense by a
lated offenses,
it includes 8 to
suspension of
'S. Attendance
uired.
d convictions,
(>2,000; and/or
ment includes
linor’s driver’s
1: 60 days for
or subsequent
irse; License
Icohol-related
end an alcohol
smmission on
>fage, a parent
ourse with ,the
evidence of
vice within 90
aired evidence
ie fine may be
ure to comply
ense or permit
ecological disaster.
As if the growing hole in the
ozone layer is not bad enough,
ozone is a major pollutant in big
cities. People can’t breathe
ozone. Asphyxiation is not fun
ny. Would you go to a club
named Club Sulfur Dioxide? If I
named a club after a gas, it
would be called Club Nitrous
Oxide. Now that’s a name every
body can laugh about.
Think for a moment, what
type of business is over-repre
sented in Bryan-College Sta
tion? No, not Mexican food
restaurants — computer stores.
There is an overabundance of
computer stores in this commu
nity. In fact, two out of every
three businesses in this com
munity are or soon will be com
puter stores.
Since the computer market
is crowded, one would think
that computer stores would
try to flatter their customers.
That is, of course, unless you
are talking about Byte Me
Computers. Last time 1 went
to buy something, the store
didn’t insult me.
When the owners of Byte
Me Computers were thinking
up names for their store, I
wonder what names they
threw out for being too harsh. I
imagine “You Can Take This
Computer and Shove It Up
Your *** Computers” and “Shut
YourTrap Computers” did not
make the cut.
Although there may be a glut
of computer stores in towo.
there is only one Cajun food
restaurant in Bryan-College Sta
tion. Unfortunately, it is named
Crazy Cruz’s Cajun Po-boys.
While alliteration in a name is
attractive, crazy people general
ly don’t run restaurants.
Can crazy people be trusted
with butcher knives? Crazy peo
ple should be receiving counsel
ing. I'hen, once their condition
has improved, maybe they can
open a Cajun food restaurant.
Crazy people, however, should
be allowed to eat Cajun food, as
I Ve always thought you have to
be a little unstable to like the
stuff anyway.
Despite their abhorrent
names, these businesses must
be doing something right. Peo
ple happily patronize them
year after year.
Potential Aggie entrepre
neurs, however, should note
that once they leave the Brazos
Valley, consumers are less like
ly to be receptive to businesses
with crass names than the local
population.
In the meantime, though, I
think I’m hungry for a Fatburger.
Vlinor: A minor
otor vehicle in a
unt of alcohol in
is alcohol-related
ishment includes
or suspension of
r has at least two
is punishable by
jail for up to 180
imunity service.
11 be denied or
conviction; 180
is not eligible for
;e
Sign up for these fun Fall ‘97
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L The Battalion
IFESTYLES
Students find mobile homes a unique
alternative to Traditional’ housing
W hen most people think of
mobile homes and trailer
parks, images of pickup
trucks on cinder blocks and “Hee-
Haw” reruns come to mind, not col
lege students.
However, many would be sur
prised to learn how Texas A&M stu
dents are using this affordable and
under-utilized method of housing.
Student housing is broken down
into two categories at A&M: Off-
campus and on-campus. The ma
jority of off-campus housing is con
centrated in apartments and rental
houses.
These arrangements offer students
a chance at independence and privacy
that is not associated with dormitory
living. Rent and other expenses can af
fect students’ budgets.
Students wanting an affordable
abode and an escape from the mass
of humanity called dorm living have
another option.
Mobile homes and trailer parks,
known to be targets for tornadoes,
floods and other natural disasters, are
now becoming a target for college stu
dents. They are cost effective, private
and classier than most think.
Brad Angell, a senior agricultural
development major, has lived in a
trailer for four years. He owns his trail
er and pays $135 a month to rent the
lot his trailer sits on.
“A trailer can be huge, offering a
lot of space,” Angell said. “But your
electricity bill tends to be a little
higher.”
John Petty, a senior petroleum en
gineering major, owns a trailer and
said it is a good investment.
“When you rent an apartment or
duplex, you’re really throwing money .
down a hole,” Petty said. “With a trail
er, you can sell it back, providing a re
turn on your investment,” Petty said.
“The privacy is another big thing —
when you need your quiet time, it is
very easy to obtain it.”
Privacy is a reason cited by many as
an advantage of trailer living. Residents
do not have to worry about Prodigy’s
“Firestarter” blaring in power bass
mode at three in the morning.
The privacy allows residents to do
the same, plus they can invite some
friends over while they’re at it.
But the isolation can be a bit bur
densome. Manda Hays, a senior
agricultural development major,
rents a trailer about 20 miles out in
the country.
“I lived in the dorm my first two
years, and I grew used to the cama
raderie,” Hays said. “In comparison,
you’re a bit more isolated out in the
country. But I’m hardly ever home, so
I tend not to notice it as much.”
Petty said he agrees.
“In my opinion, if there is one
drawback, that is the lack of opportu-
“I really don’t see any trailer
trash around us, but after a
party, our place might look
like it.”
BRAD ANGELL
MOBILE HOME DWELLER
AND SENIOR AGRICULTURAL
DEVELOPMENT MAJOR
nities for social interaction compared
with dorms and even apartments.”
A burning question on a lot of
students’ minds has to do with the
stereotypes associated with trailers.
"I really don”t see any trailer trash
around us, but after a party, our
place might look like it,” Angell said.
Petty said there is a little truth to
the stories. He once spotted a car on
cinder blocks next to his trailer, and
Angell said he has seen pink plastic
flamingos around his park, but in all,
trailer parks have a much higher stan
dard of decor than popular culture
usually thinks.
Many parks have strict guidelines
on the age of inhabiting trailers and
rules about beautification, such as
regular lawn mowing.
Many of the parks in town cater
specifically to students, forming col
lege communities similar to any
dorm or apartment.
Students who live the trailer
lifestyle are involved in activities
such as Web page design and stu
dent leadership.
So those looking to change their
living quarters might want to sing
“Oh, Mobile Home on the Range.”
After all, they are not just for extras
from Deliverance anymore.
696-5570
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> I
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Creative activities
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J Do you have a special interest that you can
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ime) from any
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ours;
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