mber 1, 1997 flonday • September 1, 1997 l Fatburger by any Gther name... il-CS businesses need to rethink names B j ryan-College Station is full .ofbusinesses that cater to 'col- Tgestu- pts, •iiich is i ;iood since hr*l ’ College jiation is a <£+ f iwnfull • . College students. ’ Unfor- John imately, Lemons iereisa columnist jownside shaving hundreds of business- ssimultaneously trying to at- act students money. After all, flthere is one universal con- slant, it is that college students Jiave exceptionally had taste. As •result, Bryan -College Station is 5 iofbusinesses with names | hat could nev er exist in the real ; raid. Obviously, this fact doesn't :!otherniost Aggies, as these iteinesses se em to thrive, de- ate their qiu astionable 'iaonikers. I, h owever, have dif- pity patron zing businesses jith distaste!' j1 names. J Easily the c ddest restaurant nme in town is Fatburger. It is liame which reminds its cus- ,:mersof the ilaque collecting 111 their arterit s with each juicy jiite of their h; imburgers. For imately, Colk ge Station is Jessed with a Fatburger. Icannot understand how a staurant with a name that is nonymous with greasy lard in survive in any market. Most romise still cannot' ents still have the nga mediation ser- ; a room change. I has always been ieople in America find the n freedom and one ; inspect of munching on gristle i privacy. The last ]53bun unappealing, students had was ! Atleast Fatburger is honest. It aby brother when ales no attempt whatsoever ars old. And manypconvince its patrons that any- is no help when a Jag on its menu has nutrition- e st ill acts that age. palue. Imagine if Fatburger at- ppted to market itself to peaple who choose to eat teiy. It could rename itself < k-Fatburger.” "Low-l'atburg- ff’would easily dominate the lumburger industry. College Station also has its 2,000; and/or ment includes linor’s driver’s 1: 60 days for or subsequent irse; License Icohol-related end an alcohol smmission on >fage, a parent ourse with ,the evidence of vice within 90 aired evidence ie fine may be ure to comply ense or permit ecological disaster. As if the growing hole in the ozone layer is not bad enough, ozone is a major pollutant in big cities. People can’t breathe ozone. Asphyxiation is not fun ny. Would you go to a club named Club Sulfur Dioxide? If I named a club after a gas, it would be called Club Nitrous Oxide. Now that’s a name every body can laugh about. Think for a moment, what type of business is over-repre sented in Bryan-College Sta tion? No, not Mexican food restaurants — computer stores. There is an overabundance of computer stores in this commu nity. In fact, two out of every three businesses in this com munity are or soon will be com puter stores. Since the computer market is crowded, one would think that computer stores would try to flatter their customers. That is, of course, unless you are talking about Byte Me Computers. Last time 1 went to buy something, the store didn’t insult me. When the owners of Byte Me Computers were thinking up names for their store, I wonder what names they threw out for being too harsh. I imagine “You Can Take This Computer and Shove It Up Your *** Computers” and “Shut YourTrap Computers” did not make the cut. Although there may be a glut of computer stores in towo. there is only one Cajun food restaurant in Bryan-College Sta tion. Unfortunately, it is named Crazy Cruz’s Cajun Po-boys. While alliteration in a name is attractive, crazy people general ly don’t run restaurants. Can crazy people be trusted with butcher knives? Crazy peo ple should be receiving counsel ing. I'hen, once their condition has improved, maybe they can open a Cajun food restaurant. Crazy people, however, should be allowed to eat Cajun food, as I Ve always thought you have to be a little unstable to like the stuff anyway. Despite their abhorrent names, these businesses must be doing something right. Peo ple happily patronize them year after year. Potential Aggie entrepre neurs, however, should note that once they leave the Brazos Valley, consumers are less like ly to be receptive to businesses with crass names than the local population. In the meantime, though, I think I’m hungry for a Fatburger. Vlinor: A minor otor vehicle in a unt of alcohol in is alcohol-related ishment includes or suspension of r has at least two is punishable by jail for up to 180 imunity service. 11 be denied or conviction; 180 is not eligible for ;e Sign up for these fun Fall ‘97 noncredit programs and workshops. Register now! 845-1631 The date of the earliest class session is shown after each class title. ass Work ained Glass I • Sept 15, 16 iained Glass II • Oct 21 tched Glass • Sept 24 I mm Free Burgers & Does 5 till.... $1.75 PITCHERS 8-10 Fajitas & Hot Links 5 till.... 500 Well $1.00 Chuggers 8-10 mm SHRIMP BOIL 5 TILL 500 Well $1.00 Chuggers munm 500 Well $1.00 Chuggers mum SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL 500 Bar $1.00 Chuggers 8-10 8-10 8-10 0^* Stop by our convenient location on the lower level of the Memorial Student Center at Texas A&M. Creative activities designed for you! J Do you have a special interest that you can teach? If so, call us about our fall semester. 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