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Wednesday • September 7, 1994
QPINION
The Battalion • Page 11
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Students find ‘maroon and white’ everywhere
Fightin' Texas Aggie speech writers can use Roommate's 'shrine' of Aggieland decorations
'Howdy!' to inspire crowd, whoops of praise leads to contemplations on University culture
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H owdy Ags! Before I in
troduce our guest lec
turer for the day, I
just want to say a few words.
I love this school and I love
our way of doing things. But
we can laugh at ourselves,
can’t we Ags? Okay, then,
without further delay our
guest speaker Mr. Every Ag
gie Speech Writer.
Howdy Ags!
“HOWDY!”
Good. I see that you’ve heard an Aggie speech
before. The first thing I want to teach you about
Aggie speech
writing is to al
ways start with
“Howdy!” If you
don’t, people will
be confused.
It is also a
great organiza
tional trick. If
you haven’t quite decided how you’re going to
start your speech, just tell the crowd that you
know they can be louder, say howdy again and
take the time to organize your thoughts. If
you’re still not ready to begin, tell them you
want them to be heard all the way down in
Austin. Don’t worry - this never gets old.
First, you should introduce yourself. Be sure to
mention what class you are in, especially if you’re
an upperclassman. And if you are from a small
Texas town, be sure to refer to it as a thriving me
tropolis. Again, this never gets old.
Start your speech by telling the audience how
much you love A&M, what a great decision they
made by coming here and then throw in a joke or
funny story. One joke is mandatory for all
speeches. I believe it is included in the official
A&M regulations, and if it isn’t, it should be.
Tell students that these are the best five or six
or seven years of their lives. This joke never gets
old, so use it as often as you like.
If you have a point to your speech, now is the
time to bring it up. Be sure to mention some of the
things at A&M of which we are most proud. Name
as many organizations, dorms, sports teams, fa
mous Aggies and classes as possible. The time
spent by the audience wildcatting will make your
speech appear longer and more entertaining.
Don’t feel like you have to have a point. If you
try to make a point at the wrong times, the crowd
will lose interest. Often at these times Law and
Puryear will start yelling at each other and the
rest of the crowd will either snicker or start talk
ing amongst themselves. Whenever this happens,
quickly direct your speech to the nearest opponent
in sports and mention how we’re going to beat the
hell out of them. Note: if there are no active
sports, then just mention how we make a habit of
beating the hell out of t.u. every year.
This can get complicated since it is more of an
involved art form rather than an exact science.
Be sure to start by saying we’ll beat the “ever
livin’, ever lovin’, compound, complex ...” Do not
just say hell. Mention everything you can think
of about A&M and always
precede it with the words
“Fightin’ Texas Aggie”. For
example: “Fightin’ Texas Ag
gie Smart-Ass Columnist!”
Be sure to leave enough
time for every one to wildcat
after each phrase - unless
you use my example, in
which case wildcatting will
probably not occur.
After this, the crowd should be fired up. You
will want to end quickly so they are left with a
good feeling about your speech. The best way is
to thank them for coming out and then say gig
em. Do not stray from
this formula or the crowd
will be confused.
As a member of the au
dience at an Aggie
speech, you also have re
sponsibilities. Not every
one is given the chance to
speak to a bunch of Ag
gies. It is up to the rest of us to make sure they
feel like they are doing well. To do this you
should wildcat after anything that is even slight
ly related to you. For example, if I said that I ate
breakfast this morning, and you also ate break
fast, you should Whoop or AAAAA or whatever it
is you do.
Do not feel embarrassed for the speaker if you
recognize some of the things I have mentioned to
day in their speech. Don’t be surprised either.
Even though their speech may seem predictable,
you will be amazed how much it still motivates
you if you let it.
Thanks for being able to laugh at yourselves,
Ags. Thanks for coming out. And gig ’em.
Michael Landauer is a sophomore
journalism major
I have been in Aggieland
for two years now, but I
still can’t quite under
stand the emphasis placed
upon the “Good Ag vs. Bad
Ag.” I guess you could defi
nitely call my roommate,
Layla, a good Ag. In the
course of our getting-things-
together phone calls this
summer, I asked her if she
had a lot of Aggie paraphernalia. “Oh ,no!” she
said. “I really don’t have much at all.”
Yeah, right. I walked into a dorm room that
resembled the MSC Bookstore or Loupot’s. Not
only was a huge wind sock hanging in the win
dow, but there was also a complete Aggie shrine
sitting there religiously. Every little gadget,
every little knick-knack with the Aggie logo
known to man was present. “Well, maybe I have
a little more Aggie stuff than I thought,” she
said with a little grin.
Yeah, Layla, I think you do.
So, you might wonder, what is the extent of
Aja’s Aggie spirit symbols? Well - I own a glori
ous, magnificent, exquisite Aggie 12th Man towel.
I know, I know. Right now you must be thinking,
just a 12th Man towel? Bad Ag! Bad Ag! But
please, let me explain my
self before bringing out
the ruler to slap my hand.
The more militant ones
might even want to chop
my hand clean off with a
bonfire axe.
Don’t get me wrong, I
have much respect for
this school, and the people in it who work so
hard to keep the fire burning, figuratively and
literally. It’s just that there are some things I
still just don’t get.
For one thing, am I a bad Ag if I don’t know
the words to the Aggie War
Hymn backwards, forwards
and upside down? Am I a
bad Ag if my legs tire at a
football game and I decide
that I just must take a seat,
even if it is only for a sec
ond? Am I a bad Ag if I
think the redpots are stinky
when they return from cut?
Am I a bad Ag if I don’t get
warm fuzzies when I look at Sully? Am I a bad
Ag if I think that Reveille, pretty as she is -
Egads! - is a dog?
Now, I will be brave enough to actually admit
this: there are times when I have gone to a foot
ball game and left with my butt a tad dusty be
cause I let it graze the bleachers of Kyle Field.
There are times when I have hummed the Aggie
War Hymn because I did not know all the words,
or at least the correct ones. There are times
when my nose has wrinkled slightly when the
great odor of the cutters rafted my way. I think
that it should be obvious that Sully does not give
me warm fuzzies. Oh, yeah!
And I’ll never forget that time when I walked
up to Reveille, petted her, and cooed “Ooh, what 1
a lovely dog!” Needless to say that I received a
downright evil look from the Corps dude holding
her leash.
Well, by now I can see all the fists shaking in
the air. “Bad Ag on the loose! Escort her away
immediately!” Hold up one minute, will you? I
came to this school mainly because of its high lev
el of academics and resources that I thought could
help me prepare for the real world. Isn’t that
what we are all here for, anyway? Now, 1 truly
feel that I have received a top-notch education at
A&M thus far. As far as that “other stuff’ is con
cerned ... well, I wave my 12th man towel as vio
lently as any Joe Ag at the football games, and I
feel the same swell in my heart that any Ross Vol
unteer could at Silver Taps.
I do feel a bit removed from this place when I
am expected to sing praises to Sully or when
people hack on and on and on about multicultur-
alism and the lack or need thereof. But I have
a problem with ignorance, period - not Texas
A&M as a whole.
Look at me, I am an Aggie with pride and re
spect for my school, my peers and myself. I
firmly believe that the true measure of an Aggie
should not be who can swing the ax the hardest
at cut or who sings the Aggie War Hymn loud
est. Aggies come
in many sizes,
shapes, colors
and forms.
Please, don’t be
so hasty to
stamp the “bad
Ag” label on
someone. Take
time to get to know that person, and their inten
tions, before making a judgment call.
Now, that is what I call good bull.
Aja Henderson is a sophomore finance major
MICHAEL
LANDAUER
Columnist
Members of the audience at Aggie
speeches also have responsibilities. You
should Whoop or wildcat after any
thing that is even slightly related to you.
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I feel removed from this place when I am
expected to praise Sully or when people
hack about multiculturalism. But I have a
problem with ignorance, not Texas A&M.
College Republicans err
with attack-style politics
This letter is in response to the Sept. 1
letter of Chad Walter. I find it curious
that Walter attacked the Aggie Democ
rats for the Aug. 31 letter of Matt Mur
phy, an Aggie expressing his own person
al opinion. It is a travesty that the Col
lege Republicans ground themselves in
the attack-style politics that they have so
vigorously pursued against President
Clinton, Matt Murphy, and now the Ag
gie Democrats.
The First Amendment does guarantee
the freedom of expression and in that
light I express my concern that the Col
lege Republicans should protect and de
fend that right and not merely attack
both Murphy and the Aggie Democrats
for Murphy’s opinion. The student body
could be better served if Walter would
have addressed the issue Murphy was
speaking of instead of expressing hostili
ty toward both him and the Aggie De
mocrats. To imply that Murphy seeks to
disregard the First Amendment and
therefore dishonor those who have died
for it is disheartening.
I hope that in the future the person
al attacks on President Clinton may
cease. Since his election, Clinton has
passed such monumental legislation
as NAFTA, the Crime Bill, the Brady
Bill, the Family and Medical Leave
Act, the National Service Act, the Mo
tor Voter Bill and most importantly
his 1993 Budget Package. During his
term the United States is experiencing
one of the healthiest economic growth
periods in the last 100 years. This
president is good for America.
For the image of Texas A&M and both
political parties, I ask that next time you
respond to an issue at hand address the
issue with concrete facts, because voter
apathy can only be heightened when poli
tics denigrates to innuendo instead of is
sues. We are all Aggies so let’s show the
world we can disagree and still be civil.
Eric Gruetzner
President, The Aggie Democrats
Class of ’94
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thor's name, class, and
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Address letters to:
The Battalion - Mall Call
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Editorial Board
Belinda Blancarte, Editor in chief
Mark Evans, Managing editor
Jay Robbins, Opinion editor
Jenny Magee, Assistant opinion editor
Editorials appearing in The Battalion
reflect the views of the editorial board. They
do not necessarily reflect the opinions of
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Columns, guest columns cartoons and
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Contact the opinion editor for Information
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1, ^# l.- JL ./-m n-- c -
Conservation Crisis
Earth, humans should both come first
There seems to be a constant tug-of-
war between conserving the environ
ment and using up the world’s re
sources. Both sides have legitimate ar
guments, but it’s time to find a happy
medium where everyone is satisfied.
There’s no doubt that the environ
ment has depleted over the last sev
eral decades. There are more dirty
rivers, extinct animals and a
disintegrating ozone lay
er that chews away at
the earth’s surface.
But, in addition
to the increase
in environmen
tal problems,
there has
come an in
crease in
population
and a corre
lated need to
use up more
natural re
sources.
Animals and
other wildlife
may have been on
the earth before hu
mans, as some conser
vationists argue, but hu
mans are entitled to their property
rights. If people did not have access
to natural resources, creating a soci
ety would be nearly impossible.
It is not right to destroy the envi
ronment to meet the needs of man,
but a better compliance with protec
tive legislation would be found if reg
ulations required limited,responsible
use of natural resources, rather than
allowing exploitation or banning use.
It is not feasible to save every sin
gle bird, plant and weed in existence.
In a society that is money-based and
economically driven, this absolute
conservation cannot happen.
After all, humans have
been and will always be
more important than
animals. Not to
say that animals
are of less im
portance, but
human beings
must use the
Earth to run
their civiliza
tion. Five bil
lion people
are the de
pendent on
fossil fuels,
mined ores, cut
timber and a host
of other harvests for
mere survival.
It is important to
make efforts to save the de
pleting environment, but it is equally
important to provide people with ade
quate natural resources. The issue
should not go one way or the other —
a balance can be forged to conserve
both sides of the issue.