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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (April 1, 1993)
■MM Sue’s Page April Fool's Day, 1993 The Buttsling Page 94 Quad queens tell their sordid tales: 'My life as a boot-chaser' By MELISSA HOLUBEC The Battalion With all the different organizations stu dents can join at A&M, few join the ranks of "quad queens," those female students who spena more time on the quad than most other female students. "Quad queens love men in uniform," said junior psychology major Alvin Loftin. "They feel sorry for fish because of their haircuts, and they like seniors for their boots." Quad queens spend more time on the quad than most other female students be cause they were assigned rooms in dorms there or simply because they prefer the view of the quad courtyard to other places on campus. "There are different degrees of quad queen-ness," said sophomore history ma jor Sean Muckleroy. "Quad queens range from girls who live on the quad to girls who spend the night with the Corps." Freshmen girls who live in dorms on the quad often earn the title of quad queen without realizing it. Some, like freshman modern language major Ginger Hightow er, enjoy exchanging quad queen stories. "You're know you're a quad queen when your phone list is more up-to-date than the one in the guard room," she said. Quad queens do things like park on the west side of campus just to be able to call the guard room for escorts back to their dorms, Hightower said. One cadet, however, offered a word of advice to girls who call the guard room looking for a date. "When you call the guard room looking for a date, don't give specifics," said ju nior political science major James Ander son. "Once, a girl called the guard room and asked for a tall, dark and handsome escort. She got a short fat guy instead." But there are the girls wno don't live on the quad who visit it frequently. Sometimes they are dubbed with an extra nickname. "There are quad queen wanna-be's too," Hightower said. "Some girls visit friends on the quad so much you'd think they lived there." The question of telling exactly who the genuine quad queens and the impostors are requires little more than knowledge and careful observance. "Quad queens know all the Corps hump-its," Anderson said. "They also know lots of people in first floor rooms. We see lots of rear ends hanging out of windows." Hightower said there are numerous ways to know when someone has earned quad queen status. "You know you're a quad queen when you can name all 12 Corps dorms and f pve a brief run down of which outfits ive in each one," she said. Other indicators Hightower cited in clude calling cadences, eating more than one meal a day in Duncan Dining Center, unconsciously speaking in Corps lingo and trying to enroll in military science classes as an interior design major. "The ultimate quad queen qualification occurs when CT's and BQ's mistake you for a woman in the Corps and start whip ping out to you," she said. Snails! Big Snails! KEVIN "PHOTO BOY" IVY/Thc Battalion Due to a low camera angle, this giant snail appears to be devouring the Blocker building. Lint: The unrecognized threat, the limitless possibilities All of us have experi enced the personal trauma and heartbreak that can re sult from unsightly cloth ing lint and its more pri vate relative, belly button lint. However, many are unaware of the roles, both positive and negative, that lint plays on a grander scale in our society. LINT WILL SAVE THE ENVIRONMENT A product derived from cotton seed lint and wood fiber, called Oil Sorb, sus pends oil spills on land or sea. Bill Turney Jr. of NRG Resources Inc., Oil Sorb's developer, said, "We can't stop the spills but we can protect the environment." Oil Sorb is hailed as greatly superi or to its competitors. "We ve used our product to clean up the spills the others left behind," Turney said. LINT CONTROL DEVICES For that embarrassing chronic lint-ball problem that haunts your favorite old shirts. Remington offers the Fuzz-Away shaver, which retails for $19.99 at discount department stores. Rich Henderson, a satisfied Fuzz-Away owner, said the device is quite powerful. "Once I put it on my tongue by accident, and that sucker can bite," he said. K-Tel manufactures an article called the Miracle Brush lint and hair re mover. LINT ABORTS SPACE SHUTTLE MISSION In December 1990, an overheated computer aboard the space shuttle Columbia failed, aborting the aim ing of three telescopes. The astro nauts found the computer's air vents were clogged withlint. In June 1991, Columbia astronauts were awakened four times during the night to save specimens from spoiling in freezers clocked by ice. NASA speculated that lint" was blocking the freezers' vents. LINT SOLVES MURDER CASE In 1986, a 24-year-old murder case was reopened .in the Monterey County, Ca., Superior Court. The crucial piece of evidence was a ball of lint, collected from the carpet of the murdered girl's home, that con tained paint chips which matched the car roof of the accused killer. Defense attorney Cliff Tedmon said the lint evidence had suspi ciously appeared since the original trial in 19o2. Prosecuting assistant Ronald Fahey said, "There is no rea sonable evidence that the lint ball could have been contaminated." LINT THREATENS INDUSTRY Two major areas of profit leakage in knitting mills are the lubrication rocess and the lint control process, tudies show, however, that fabrics containing crosslinked polyethylene glycols produce substantially less lint. "Delintering equipment" is used in oil mills to reduce problems with "fugitive dust emissions," as lint balls are referred to in the industry. The government has established federal standards with which lint and dust control engineers must comply. SUSAN OWEN Man, am I in trouble for this. T-sip to perform on big organ Frank Speller will strike up his organ in t.u.'s Great Organ Series this Sunday. The UT Performing Arts Center describes the event as an "always amazing" display that will put the Bates Hall tracker pipe or gan in its best light. Texas A&M students have reacted with delight to the news of this cultural event. "Speller is an amazing performer," said Rich Hen derson, a sophomore politi cal science major. "As he pushes his organ to new heights in rhythmic melody, the crowd's oohs and ans crescendo from mild purrs of ecstasy to a climactic conclusion." "And you know, it's hard to find a T-sip who DENA DIZDAR Goddess of Expression has an organ," said senior psychology and man agement major Chris Gordon. Speller's organ, as luck would have it, is three stories tall; the perfect height to execute such clas sics as "Full Organ in Dialogue" and "Two Dances to the Fire God. Speller said this arena has given "And you know, it's hard to find a T-sip who has an organ." -Chris Gordon, senior psychology and management major organists an excellent chance to "strut their stuff." Since this year's series highlights specific inter national regions. Speller will get a cnance to ex plore the many places organs have been. The arts center hails Speller as a true organ master; Bates Recital Hall will host the concert Be ginning at 4 p.m. JENNY EBERT Where No Bow Has Gone Before New Ninja Turtle flick skillfully integrates its nonviolent message in a setting of pain, desperation Jenny: In director Stuart Gillard's new karate clas sic, "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III," the four shelled mutants are back to their leg-kicking, nun- chaku-swinging, language- abusing antics. April, the turtles' pseu do-guardian, brings "some weird kind of Japanese eggtimer," actually an an cient magical scepter with time travelling abili ties, down to the sewer/abode of Michelangelo, Donatello, Raphael, and Leonardo, mutant turtles extraordinaire. With blue sparks a-flying, the scepter accidentally whisks April back to 1603 Japan, while the son of a Japanese ruler in 1603 takes her place in the present day New York sewer. The four green heros use the magical scepter to take the place of four ancient honor guards of a Japanese feudal warlord in an attempt to rescue their peril-stricken damsel. Joe: This is Gillard's third cinematic feat which displays his unique and intellectual philosophy. His own derivative of the oriental yin and yang philosophy is extremely evident in his creation of the dual setting where the ancient Japanese em- ire is juxtaposed with the modern sewer of New brk City. Jenny: I disagree completely. The only cine matic feat of this film is the fact that it has at least some form of a plot, contrary to the first two. How can you find any cinematic worth in a movie with Turtles Of Unusual Size and a com plete knack for mutilating the English language? Joe: Hold on, didn't you notice how the film skillfully and almost paradoxically integrated the JOE SISKEL Our Man In Crocker Y< nonviolent message in a setting of pain, destruc tion, and heart-wrenching sorrow. Raphael, a brutal warrior himself, preaches the message of passivity to the impressionable youth of the Japanese village. Jenny: That's a bunch of malarkey! Let's address the completely corn-ball jargon the turtles use. Par don me, but do you realize that this movie will spark a plethitude of tiny tots casting about such pnrases as "He who dings the shell must pay" and *'Help I'm a turtle and I can't get up." Joe: You big dweeb, didn't you notice how Gillard carefully crafted the contemporary envi ronmental message with the comparison of an ancient cascading Japanese river to the vile and putrid New York sewer of the present day. Jenny: You balding bag of bones, while you have been preaching about the moral issues this movie embraces, you fail to mention the corrup tion that befalls the honor guard in New York. For God's sakes, in a span of two and a half days they fall into the evil pit of junk food, video games, and hockey fights. Joe: Only you would notice the junk food mo tif, fatso! If you weren't so preoccupied with your popcorn smackin', Ju-Ju-Be poppin , clear Crystal Pepsi slurpin' habits, you might notice the sub tleties of this art. And lose some weight buddy. Jenny: Look here bucko. I'm surprised you can even see the screen over that shnoz. Joe: Kiss my derriere! Jenny: Drop the drawers homey. Joe: Pucker-up sweet lips. FACEs 1993-94 Freshmen Adjusting to College Experiences Mentor Applications Available "You can make a difference" Qualifications t -must be a sophomore, junior, or senior by FALL '93 -must have a minimum GPR of 2.25 -must have a sincere interest in helping an ethnic minority freshman Available: / Office of.Student Affairs (RM 110 YMCA BLDG) . " I::;:/ } A '2 Lounge (comer of Moses and Hughes Halls) South Area Office For more information call: The FACEs Office 845- 9804 Alisa Reyna, Mentor Sub-chair 846- 8812 APPLICATION DEADLINE EXTENDED TO APRIL 2 DON’T CRACK UNDER PRESSURE TAG-Heuer SWISS MADE SINCE 1860. LUilTlafk/ Jeuueter/ 3841 Bellaire Blvd. • Houston. Texas 77025 • 713/668-5000 New Orleans All You Can Eat Cajun Crawfish 6-8 pm Stafford Opera House Frfdloy Aprol 2 Total Quality Management Committee & The College of Business Administration and Graduate School of Business ATTENTION BUSINESS STUDENTS!! Your Advisors Want You to Succeed... In a continuing effort to improve the service of advising in the Undergraduate Programs Office (Blocker 330), we will be providing preregistration advice for fall 1993 on the following schedule: SENIORS JUNIORS SOPHOMORES FRESHMEN April 5-15 April 12-21 April 16-27 April 22 - May 3 Please assist us in our improvement efforts by observing this new schedule. Blocker Room 330 Undergraduate Programs Office