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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (March 22, 1991)
Mail Call The Battalion is interested in hearing from its readers and welcomes all letters to the editor. Please include name, classification, address and phone number on all letters. The editor reserves the right to edit letters for style and length. Because of limited space, shorter letters have a better chance of appearing. There is, however, no guarantee letters will appear. Letters may be brought to 216 Reed McDonald or sent to Campus Mail Stop 1111. Tread not upon MSCgrass EDITOR: We would like to take this opportunity to answer a question which has been brought to our attention: Is it still a tradition not to walk on the grass surrounding the Me morial Student Center? The answer to this question is yes. With all of the con struction going on around the MSC, it is easy to see where there could be some confusion concerning this tradition. Even though construction workers sometimes must walk across the grass to do their jobs, this tradition still re mains. Therefore, we ask that Texas A&M students cofitinue tb respect this tradition which honors those Aggies who gave their lives for their country. Matthew Wood Memorial Student Center Council Send letters of inspiration EDITOR: I am writing in response to Samantha Leech's letter concerning the young man in Houston who has cancer. His name is Michael Yetter, and five of us visited him on Saturday, March 2. His uncle, a former student, arranged the trip for us. The trip is something we will never forget. On the road that morning, we weren't quite sure what to expect. We had been told that Michael had terminal brain can cer and was not expected to live much longer. We were hoping to inspire him, but we were not sure as to how. When we arrived at his house, we were greeted by his family and many neighbors. We met Michael and pre sented him with several gifts from Texas A&M. We stayed and talked with him and his family for a few hours. Michael is a very determined person and an Aggie at heart. He wants to come to A&M, join the Corps of Cadets and become a member of the Singing Cadets. His room was filled with Aggie momentos, and he loved talking about the various traditions of A&M. He was an inspiration to us because he still sets goals and works as hard as he can to achieve them, even with cancer. He is a reminder that our lives are not always as bad as we think. When we were leaving, I could not help but feel sad ness. However, once on the road, that changed. There was a noticeable difference in Michael when we left, and I felt better knowing that we had boosted his spirit and made that difference. If you can spare a little time and a stamp, write him a letter. I know it will mean a lot to him. His address is: Michael Yetter 1122 Kingsbhdge Houston, Tx 77073 Robert Redding '91 accompanied by four signatures Vote for world class EDITOR: It's that time of year again. Elections are here. Elections of all sizes and shapes seem to always bring jout controversy and complaints. This year's should be no exception. From at-large seats to yell leaders, from freshmen to graduate students, everyone is involved and should be in terested. I personally will vote for the most qualified candidates. Unfortunately, many of us seem to have a somewhat nar rower viewpoint. Too bad. Our University is among the best in the world. This is due to the spirit, traditions and people who make up Texas A&M. These people represent many different races, cul tures, personalities, opinions, shapes, as well as different sexes. These people are A&M. Electoral positions are created to represent A&M and its people. A&M is Asian, African-American, Hispanic, In dian, Caucasian, etc. We need to represent the world in which we live be cause we are made up of the world. Our world cannot be truly ours until the prejudices and narrow minds no longer exist. We are not white or black. Corps or non-reg. We are many different things. It is who we are that counts: The "who" that gives us goose bumps when we hear the Spirit of Aggieland; the "who" that makes us believe in the spirit, traditions and people that are A&M; the "who" that creates the desire to make A&M the best. The people that make up the "who" are all of us. When considering candidates for the elections, concen trate on the "who," not on the "what" and show the world that A&M is the Corps, non-regs, African-Americans, Asians, Caucasians, Indians, Hispanics. Make the representatives of the best University just that— the best representatives available. "Huck" Finn Arbaugh '90 Express-lane scoops Is this all the news that's fit Newsflash! "Noah's ark was a submarine designed by SPACE ALIENS!" Newsflash #2! "Experts conclude that recent Bermuda Triangle disappearances are due fo Roseanne Barr's voracious appetite!" uiz time. Which head line actually came from the April 2 edition of the Weekly World News? If you guessed number one, you are correct! While in Key West over spring break, I noticed that my favorite "just the fiction, mam" tabloids, the Sun and the Weekly World News had really gone off the deep end. I cannot recall all of the details, but the cover of one of these magazines described how a balding Elvis was being held hostage in an Italian monastery. Another relayed the harrowing experiences that some poor gal went through as Saddam's sex-slave. Yesterday, I bought the new issues of three of these express-lane tabloids — for research purposes of course — and thumbed through all of them. Though I had written a column of this nature two summers ago, I could not resist the temptation of doing it again. Express-lane tabloids can be classified into two distinct groups. The first is the "Hollywood gossip/fad diet/psychic prediction" type. Members of this illustrious group include the Globe, the Star and the National Enquirer. These are typified by lawsuits and color photographs, apparently taken by actual reporters with attached stories written to fit the photograph. Famous figures such as Princess Di, Roseanne Barr, any Cosby show cast member or Oprah dominate these issues. This group is more expensive and much more boring than the second group. The second group of tabloids can most easily be classified as having no concern for reality. Photographs of deformed people, airbrushed pictures and randomly placed shots of miscellaneous full- figured gals abound in these check-out magazines. Did you know that Babs Fontinera of Milwaukee has so much stored electricity in her body that she can run a TV for 10 minutes just by grasping the plug? If not, turn to page 35 of this week's Weekly World News for this shocking story. When she loses charge, she simply hooks herself to a battery charger for a few minutes. Unfortunately, no details of her sex life were included. This issue also includes stories on a giant dinosaur on the rampage in Africa, Chinese people who worship Elvis and a "fiendish child molester" who castrated himself out of guilt. Apparently he was nuts. TTie National Examiner has some excellent material of its own, though it is caught somewhere between the gossip group of tabloids and the no reality type. For instance, the new issue informs us Hulk Hogan is giving up wrestling to become a gospel singer. The Examiner's proudest display is its classified section. to print? JL. or example, Doctor Gilead in Florida can cast a spell for you immediately. Revenge, money, love? He is your man. If your enemy already has gotten in touch with ol' Doc. Gilead, you can contact Voodoo healer W. Houston at her 800 number. She removes all hexes. Never to be undersold is the Sun. Page five of the March 26 edition tells the tale of Walter Karsh whose soul was sucked up by an old vacuum cleaner. The vacuum now moves by itself. Maybe Walter will pay a visit to my vacuum. The Sun also has a dinosaur story. Excited scientists are rushing to a remote region of South America where natives are worshipping a living dinosaur egg. Experts believe the dinosaur might be a relative of a brontosaurus-like beast which is believed to roam a remote area of the African Congo. Well, there you have it! It must be the same dinosaur as the one in the Weekly World News story. I have an August 1989 issue of the Sun lying around the house because it is simply too hilarious to discard. It contains an explosive story about a man from Hiroshima who plays the trumpet with his eye. It seems that the man, Kitska, beganrplaying tfre* ** trumpet at the age of six but discovered that he had an eye for music at 27. This issue also contains my all-time favorite news story. It is on the "floatation diet." This article gives an account of Virgil Fleer's rancid experiences in the ocean. Virgil's boat was overturned by a monster wave. The non-swimming Fleer claims that he could not understand why he was floating. He soon concluded that his diet of baked beans had given him enough gas to float. Then terror struck. In Virgil's words: "I looked out and saw large dorsal fins." Shark attack! "Hour after hour he fought to keep the predator fish at bay by aiming well timed bursts of stinking bubbles at them and frightening them off." Virgil describes the incident as a "gassy watery hell." This story alone was well worth my spare change. As a result of my investigation into these tabloids, I have concluded that the Hollywood gossip types are relatively useless. The no-reality types are hilarious, though. Taken with a grain (or shaker) of salt, the stories can be quite entertaining. It is funny to read one and think that some people actually believe these things. For 75 cents, the creativity is unparalleled. Matt McBumett is a senior electrical engineering major. Friday B Texaf plans t( the Bra: day to $60,000 "This cadets back ir througl we're h row fi| Conrad tant ani to the B Alvar ence m that last to raist $50,000 about This raise $1 amount says. "So $22,000, bank, b collectei he says the deat after Ea: Alvar officers G: The 1 tions tl availab This vironrr Week.' The produc T t The Battalion (USPS 045 360) Member of Texas Press Association Southwest Journalism Conference The Battalion Editorial Board Lisa Ann Robertson, Editor —845-2647 Kathy Cox, Managing Editor — 845-2647 Jennifer Jeffus, Opinion Page Editor — 845-3314 Chris Vaughn, City Editor —845-3316 Keith Sartin, Richard Tijerina, News Editors — 845-2665 Alan Lehmann, Sports Editor — 845-2688 Fredrick D. Joe, Art Director — 845-3312 Kristin North, Life Style Editor — 845-3313 Editorial Policy The Battalion is a non-profit, self-sup porting newspaper operated as a community service to Texas A&M and Bryan-College Station. Opinions expressed in The Battalion are those of the editorial board or the author, and do not necessarily represent the opin ions of Texas A&M administrators, faculty or the Board of Regents. The Battalion is published daily, except Saturday, Sunday, holidays, exam periods, and when school is not in session during fall and spring semesters; publication is Tuesday through Friday during the summer session. Mail subscriptions are $20 per semester, $40 per school year and $50 per full year: 845-2611. Advertising rates furnished on re quest: 845-2696. Our address: The Battalion, 216 Reed Mc Donald, Texas A&M University, College Sta tion, TX 77843-1111. Second class postage paid at College Sta tion, TX 77843. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to The Battalion, 216 Reed McDonald, Texas A&M University, College Station TX 77843- 4111. itch by Nito