Page 16
The Battalion
Monday, October 23, id
Tenuta converts sellout Rudder crowd to her religion Friday
By Chuck Lovejoy
Of The Battalion Staff
Judy Tenuta, the self-proclaimed
Petite Flower of Comedy, took the
Rudder Auditorium stage Friday
night, but then immediately walked
off it and into the crowd to touch her
faithful fans as though she were a
television evangelist “healing” the
wretched.
And yes, stud puppets and
pseudo-virgins — the crowd was re
ady to receive her comedic commu
nion. The darkness before Tenuta’s
dawn was filled with chants of “Judy!
Judy! Judy!” and even repetitive
clapping and screams of “I’m a pig
in bondage for Judy!”
After returning to the stage and
offering her trademark growl of
“Hey, pigs! Let’s party!” to the audi
ence, she commanded that the house
lights be turned up.
“I want to see my love studs,” the
petite goddess explained. “Besides,
you aren’t Mormons in the dark.”
And it was this statement that set
the tone for the rest of the evening
— an evening dripping with deli
ciously raunchy humor and gags
from the comedienne who tells the
victims of her ruthless fun that “An
insult from me is like a blessing from
the Pope.”
She told the sellout crowd she was
here to convert them to her religion.
“Judy-ism,” before instructing her
subjects to raise their right hands
and repeat the denomination’s sol
emn vow:
“I promise to destroy all hogs who
do not worship Judy. I will kill them
— I will maim them — I will destroy
them — and then — I will date
them.”
And in her concert, a presentation
of MSC Town Hall, Tenuta proved
that she should be worshipped — at
least as a talented, an original and,
more importantly, a consistently
funny and coherent comic.
Tenuta related several anecdotes,
the funniest of which centered
around (if that’s possible) her “omni
present” roommate, Blowsanne:
“She got mad at me because I
tripped over her salt lick — yeah,
like I was supposed to know she was
grazing.”
Another notable sequence cen
tered around a “nonvisual” date she
had during which her escort took
her to his uncle’s wake, prompting
her to say to him, “Oh yeah, like I’m
really gonna spread now!”
But the highlight of the evening
was when Tenuta pulled onstage
James Hodges, a junior political sci
ence major and Corps sergeant in
Squadron 15, forced him to his
knees and mounted him like a horse
while singing and cracking a bullw-
hip.
This was not the first time Tenuta
had picked on Hodges, either. Ear
lier, she asked him what he did on
campus all day, and when he didn’t
give her a satisfactory answer, re
torted, “Oh, so you just stand
around in uniform — just like the
rest of our armed forces!”
Another high point was when
Tenuta told about her response to a
guy who asked her to have safe sex
with him: “For you, that’s when the
cow doesn’t kick you in the head.”
Another Judy gem: “I, too, could
have been in a sorority, but they
wouldn’t let me in because I already
had a personality.”
Tenuta sang with a strong voice,
and even declared herself the “Em
press of Elvis Impersonators” by
dancing in everything-gyratingfa
ton to “Jailhouse Rock.”
She completely outclassed opt
ing Austin comedian Amos Ewing
Ewing, although sometiitf.
funny, suffered from a diseat
called “My jokes are too damn long
At several points during an
erably long discussion about son.
thing called a Swiss Army keyring
audience members were scream:;
“No!” and “No more!”
But how could he even have a
pected to shine alongside the co®
dienne who declared: “I likeimne
the way I like my subways -
sweaty and with the faint scent
urine.”
Vo
I
p
sior
plas
mil'
ble
C
the
kep
eno
Pep
met
m
£ Me Donald's
INTRAMURAL HIGHLIGHTS
sponsored by
McDonald’s
Post Oak Mall • Hwy 21
Manor East Mall • University Dr.
Texas Ave. at S.W. Parkway
Breakfast Every Morning • 5 locations • Drive Thru
just
and
don
A
wer
for
froi
C
said
for
flyii
Entries Open: Oct.16 Entries Close: Oct. 24
8-Ball Singles
Flickerball
Entry Fee:
$4.00 per person
Entry Fee:
$20.00 per Team
Play Begins:
Wednesday, Nov. 1
Play Begins:
Tuesday, October 31
Innertube Water Basketball
Entry Fee:
$20.00 per Team
Play Begins:
Sunday, October 29
Entries Open: Oct. 23 Entries Close Oct. 31
Kayak Workshop
San Marcos River
October 28-29
Fee: $40 ($50 non-A&M), includes camping and kayak
equipment, camping permit and experienced instruction
Registration: Oct. 9 - 23. Class size limited.
Rock Climbing
Enchanted Rock State Natural Area
November 10-12
Fee: $30 ($35 non-A&M), includes camping equip
ment, camping permits, and experienced instruction.
Registration: Oct. 23 - Nov. 6. Limited to 10.
Photo by Lynda Bottos
Michael Bachmeyer is all concentratior as he throws for a winning
team score in Horseshoe Doubles competition. He and David
Hortenstine took the Men's A Division.
Backpacking
Lost Maples State Natural Area
November 10-12
Champions
lit
Fee:
j ree: $35 ($40 non-A&M), includes equipment, food,
3 arui experienced instruction.
Congratulations 10 winners of the
jj§||^ sports 11|^; A.
Registration: Oct. 23 - Nov. 6
Horseshoe Doubles
Men's A David Hortenstine
Women's A Kathryn Schofield
CoRec A David Hortenstine
Men's B Gary Webster
CoRec B Keith Scott
Men's C James Kratz
Michael Bachmeyer
Shari Coleman
Marisa Janke
Tim Wolf
Shannon Lee
Duncan Russell
The Texas A&M Judo Team came home with six
medals to finish second overall in the Annual Cactus
Jack Tournament. Individual winners were Trent Cox,
Hiram Hodges, John Hughes, David Schmidt, David
Baker, and Jack Long.
The TAMU Bowling Team competed in the first
TIBC tournament of the year in Amarillo. Top scorers
were Corey Atkinson, 194; Randy Deweese, 181: Angie
Dolezal, 178; Bob Gargett, 183; Eric Peng, 181; Sandy
Slater, 153; and Staci Tucker, 156.
Scuba Dive in Cozumel!!
December 15-18
Fee: Divers -$450 ($470 non-A&M), Non-divers -$375
($395 for non A&M), air fare and lodging included. The
diving package includes 2 boat dives, 2 lunches, unlimited
beach diving and tanks, weights, and belts.
Registration: Sept. 18-Nov. 1. Limited to 20 participants
Back Country Skiing
January 6-13
Ski St. Paul's superb powder, in the San Juan Mountains
between Silverton and Ouray, Colorado! The St. Paulii
a comfortable inn, complete with kerosene lamps, wood
burning stove, and a sauna.
Fee: $399 ($420 non-A&M) covers transportation,
lodging, food, equipment, instruction and guides.
Registration: Oct. 9 - Nov. 30. Limited to 13.
All registration for TAMU Outdoors Is taken In 159 Read. For
more information, call Patsy Greiner at 845-7826.
Acknowledgements: McDonald's Intramural Highlights is spon
sored in by your local McDonald's Restaurant at University Drive
Manor East Mall, Hwy 21, Texas Ave. at SW Parkway and PostOa-
Mall. Stories are by Mark Figart, graphics are by Paul Irwin and pho
tographs are by Rec Sports photographers.
A
By J
Of 7)
T<
mine
are t
“(l
in IE
conn
Male
stud<
So
Hist<
Univ
Hi
Help
sens<
Plus,
pres:
pres:
“f
that,
entei
the i:
Univ
camj
ilililii
REC: SPORTS WEEKLY CALENDAR
MONDAY
October 23
TUESDAY
October 24
WEDNESDAY
October 25
THURSDAY
October 26
FRIDAY
October 27
SATURDAY
October 28
Entries Open:
Racquetball Doubles
Frisbee Golf
Entries Close:
Innertube Water B-Ball
Flickerball
8-Ball Singles
Captain's Meetings:
Innertube Water Basketball
5 pm, 164 Read
Flickerball
6 pm, 164 Read
8-Ball Singles
Brackets Posted, 1 pm
A&M at Rice
SUNDAY
October 29
Daylight Savings
Time Ends
Rog<