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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (May 5, 1989)
V The Battalion PINION Tht Fri Friday, May 5,1989 I Postal service delivers junk FROI Bi liste< the £ When yon sort through your mail, and you find envelopes with your name and address printed by computer, and maybe some big red lettering that says: “Urgent, Last Bargain Opportunity,” what do you call this sort of communica tion? An interview would probably soun like this: per four lowe Ir com itan the Dan Of course, you call it junk mail. We all receive it, and that’s what everybody calls it: junk mail. The Webster’s New World Dictionary even has a listing for it, with the defi nition: “advertisements, solicitations, etc., mailed indiscriminately in large quantities.” Did I just say that everybody calls it junk mail? I’m sorry, that was incorrect. I had f orgot about the strange workings of the bureaucratic mind. per Corr “Why can’t the mailman call itjui mail?” “Because it is the policy of thel'S Postal Service to call it ‘hulk-rate bus ness mail,’ or ‘BBM.’” “Why?” “Because.” “Why because?” “Because that is what we call it.” ( t By 5 STA Mail Call Liberal views not wanted EDITOR: This letter is in response to Adam Mathieu’s column on our civil rights and the war on drugs. I sincerely hope that Mr. Mathieu’s bledding-heart liberal views are not what we students should expect from next semester’s opinion page. Mr. Mathieu, it is people like you and the American Civil Liberties Union that are going to drive the United States into the ground. If someone acts suspicious, then I believe he or she should be investigated. If a person has something to hide, then being searched should not bother them too much. I realize that being secretly investigated or searched is not a fun experience, but I am willing to let airport guards search me if it keeps a real terrorist off the plane. Since the beginning of time, suspicious looking people have been in\estigated. If a person looks like a criminal because of the way his face looks, the clothes he wears or the way he acts, then investigate. A f riend of mine once said, I lev man, then they’ll start searching people for the wav the pattern is on their tie." I truly believe that people won't be searched for the pattern of their shirts or the color of their ties. Every time you think that suspicious people shouldn’t be searched in airports, think of a mother and her child. Then think of a Pan Am plane that was blown out of the sky over Lockerbe, Scotland. Steve O’Brien ’92 Lrflris hi tin' editor sltott/tl not exceed 300 it'ords in length. The editorial staff resen’cs the right to edit letters for style and length, hut will make even' effort to maintain the author's intent. Each letter uliist he signed and must include the classification, address and telephone number of the writer, ditor should nut exceed 300 words One of the marks of the bureaucratic mind is it will always look for a vague and muddy way to say something sim ple. For example, a true bureaucrat would never say: “Let’s think about this problem.” He would say: “We must con ceptualize.” He wouldn’t say: “Let’s do something about it,” when he can say: “We should begin the process of insti tuting a solution.” “But nobody else calls it that. Whe the average American sorts throughfc mail, he doesn’t say: ‘Doggone all bulk-rate business mail, or BBM.' says: ‘Doggone all this junk mail, why can’t a mailman call it what even body else calls it?” Ti Gret A&I\ “He is not a mailman. He is a posi; carrier.” men U betw will , dan), revie “Why do you call them postal a t iers? They don’t carry posts.” prov nane Wad Which brings us back to “junk mail.” It turns out the U.S. Postal Service does not approve of this phrase. It not only prefers that junk mail be called “bulk-rate business mail,” or even “BBM,” but it requries that its employ ees ref rain from even referring to junk mail as junk mail. “Because that is what our policy is. “Why?” “Because.” This was a lesson recently learned by an Ohio mailman. Oops, another mis take on my part. The bureaucrats pre fer that they be called “postal carriers.” “1 see. But is it really ‘unbeconw conduct’ for someone to call junk rail what it is—junk mail? What is so unk I coming about it? I mean, the man didn | moon the post office when he said! 1 How can two non-obscene, non-eroi words be considered ‘unbecomingcot duct’?” secu G will i have Stud be r< have A Health center needs support ft’s a tradition to criticize the A.P. Beutel Health Center here at Texas A&M. Even the doctors at the clinic affec tionately call it the “Quack Shack.” But the “Shack’ credit than it gets. deserves a lot more Granted, the wait is often long, and examinations seem hurried, but the quality of the doctor’s care is adequate, if not excellent. In addition to the qualifications of these doctors, the clinic is also sup ported by a good staff of nurses and a top rate laboratory with state-of-the-art equipment. the Tyler Health Center and the Uni versity of Texas Medical Branch in Gal veston, had a combined patient load of approximately 52,700. And they proba bly had a few more than seven doctors to take care of all the patients. . „Anyway, this mailman (to hell with what (he bureaucrats want) works out of a small town called Xenia. His route is in the farmlands. And he recently was quoted in a story in his local newspaper about some junk mail being a nuisance. He referred to it as “junk mail,” not as “bulk-rate business mail,” or as “BBM.” “Because that is what our policy is “Why?” “Because.” “Ah, I see. Now, you prefer that it I called ‘BBM,’ is that correct?” His superiors in the Xenia post office read the story and it offended their bu reaucratic sensibilities. Some people say the doctors are not qualified to practice anywhere else so they come to the “Shack.” Perhaps this is part of the tradition of criticizing the clinic, but few people can question the qualifications of the doctors. Most people don’t have the luxury of so many specialists and such quick and convenient lab service. Certainly, almost no students would if it weren’t for the “Quack Shack.” A bill has been introduced into the Texas Legislature to raise the student health fee from $15 to $25 during the regular session. Apparently, the bill wall allow students to vote on the increase before it is passed. The problem is not in the quality of the doctors we currently have. The problem is that there are not enough of them to go around. If that opportunity should arise, ev ery student who has w'aited in the “Quack Shack” for three hours should vote for the fee increase. And that in crease should go toward hiring more doctors. So the mailman (I hope my use of the word makes their teeth grind) has been punished. For “conduct unbecoming a postal employee,” he has been suspended, without pay, for two weeks. “Under our policy, we find that ceptable.” “But are you now aware there ai those who use the combination oflo ters, ‘BM,’ to refer to a bo«' movement? And we could take it step f urther, by adding another‘b’a* we would have ‘big bowel movement' that the sort of thing you want yoi postal carriers saying?” “That is not covered in our pola manual.” The mailman (choke on it, you bu reaucrats) will lose about $1,300 in pay. All of the doctors are licensed to prac tice medicine in Texas, which means they have gone through college, grad uated from accredited medical schools and have all had internships and post graduate training. Four of the seven doctors are qualified to take board ex aminations to be licensed as specialists. Most of the doctors have had post-grad uate training in one or more specialties and have held teaching positions rang ing f rom instructor to clinical professor. All of the doctors are required to take continuing-education classes. According to health center records, an average of 155 patients per day vis ited the clinic last summer, 289 patients per day visited last spring and 365 pa tients visited each day last fall. Oh, and every student who has waited for three hours should thank their doctors when they do get to see them. God knows they’ve been working their tails off while we’ve been sitting on ours. That’s a stiff penalty. You can snatch a purse or pluck a few hubcaps in Chi cago and get off with a lighter rap than a $ 1,300 fine. “I find this shocking. You suspend man for using a common phrase, wb encouraging him to use what could!* interpreted as scatological. Why you reverse his suspension like a fellow?” The mailman’s superiors, a word I use loosely, will not discuss the suspen sion. Of course they won’t. They know if they answer questions they will sound like bubbleheads. ‘No, he has violated postal policy, must be punished.” al bs “Then you, sir, are a re reaucratic BBM.” Copyright 1989, Tribune Media Services, Inc BLOOM COUNTY Including urgent care, the health center saw roughly 68,500 patients last year. Those patients were seen by the current staff of seven doctors, two of which only work part time. Thus, five full-time doctors take care of an inordi nate amount of people each day. by Berke Breathe In addition to the full-time staff, mam specialists from Bryan and Col lege Station also offer their services at the clinic. There are specialists in: gen eral surgery; urology; ear, nose and throat; dermatology; obstetrics; gyneco logy; orthopedics; pathology and X-ray. In fact, the health center's patient load exceeded the number of patients admitted to the University of Texas Health Science Center’s three teaching hospitals. In 1988, M.D. Anderson in Houston, The Battalion (USPS 045 360) Member of Texas Press Association Southwest Journalism CConference The Battalion Editorial Board Scot Walker. Editor Wade See, Managing Editor Juliette Rizzo. Opinion Page Editor Fiona Soltes, Citv Editor Ellen Hobbs, Chuck Squatriglia. News Editors Tom Kehoe, Sports Editor Jay Janner. Art Director Dean Sueltenfuss. Life Editor Editorial Policy t he Battalion is a non-profit, self-supporting newspa per operated as a tomimmitv service to Tex lirvan- fexas A AM and i-Collegc Station. Opinions expressed in The Battalion are those of the editorial board or the author, and do not necessarily rep resent the opinions of Texas A AM administrators, fac- ult\ or the Board of Regents. The Battalion also serves as it laboratory newspaper for students in reporting, editing and photography c lasses within the Department of Journalism. The Battalion is published Monday through Friday during Texas AAM regular semesters, except for holidav and examination periods. Mail subscriptions are SI7.44 per semester. S34.62 per school seat and S36.44 per full sear. Advertising rates furnished on request. Our address: The Battalion. 230 Reed McDonald. Texas AAM L'niversin. College Station. TX 77343-1111. Second class postage paid at (a .liege Station. TX 77343. POSTMASTF.R: Send address changes to The Battal ion. 216 Reed McDonald. Texas AAM L niversitv. Col lege Station TX 77.343-4 111. Struck /m me nooplz AN eRRANT P/ZCB OF SFFCe crrreR, opuo LAY PBAP. Hid HBART HAd dTDPFBP. ft?eATHlNG...FVLOe... FWTOPOR...ALC NONex/sreNT Hid OZIBVING FZ/BNPd, However. havb no ipba WHAT YOU, dMAKT KBAPeZO, 5H0ULP MVe GUBdSet? oei/ezAL min (/red aoo ■- YBP. He'd HffltNO ONW mooe Nem pbaju, OVT-OF-0OPV enpezreNceo ? pro}: tors the [ pital bulk he s; S(