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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Oct. 27, 1988)
Opinion The Battalion Thursday, Oct. 27, 1988 Martha Raye should stick to dentures, leave politics alone I have noticed, throughout every election since I was old enough to no tice, that celebrities like to come out and publicly support their candidate for president. I think it’s a bunch of bunk. I support celebrities’ right to choose a candidate, and their right to vote, and their right to express their opinion. But I do not think they should use their ce lebrity status to sway voters. candidate, fans are going to respond. People like to identify with celebrities — they represent money, fame and glam our. If they say Gumby is the guy to sit in the big chair, then people want to agree. It’s just another distraction in a cam paign that has already strayed from the issues. People should be listening to analysts and experts. They should be trying to separate the issues from the media hype and focus on gathering information to make an informed, intelligent choice. Mrs. Mertz puts Little Ricky to bed and then turns on the television so she can watch her favorite show, “The Hon- eymooners.” She could watch another show about some weird psycho redhead with a Cuban husband, but Mrs. Mertz thinks the show is stupid. That’s why companies pursue the big names to endorse their products. They know that one word from Martha Raye will have every senior citizen (and a few who aren’t) running to the local Eck- erd’s to buy denture cleaners. That’s why Michael Jackson gets the big bucks to sing about a carbonated beverage (the song still sounds bad — and I do mean 6ac/). There are probably a few of these big-name stars who are honestly experts in politics, who know the issues and have formulated their opinions based on those issues. But I also think that a majority of those hot shots still can’t tell the difference between star wars for de fense and Star Wars the movie. But the evening news is still on. Be fore Ralph and Alice hit the airwaves, Mrs. Mertz gets a glimpse of world events. Why, there’s Mr. Ed — and look who he’s endorsing for president. Gumby!!! That’s why Phil Collins finds it nec essary to alter a song and sing it on tele vision in favor of an alcoholic beverage. Companies pay these celebrities for their influence, and pay big. Most of the celebrities honestly do not know anything more about the candi dates and the issues than the average American. Well, Mrs. Mertz just happens to love Mr. Ed. She doesn’t really know any thing about Gumby, but if Mr. Ed likes him, so does she. Mrs. Mertz has de cided who she is going to vote for, and she didn’t even have to read a newspa per or anything! People are swayed by celebrity en dorsements of products — or political candidates. People should be careful to make sure that they make their own choices and don’t let celebrities influence them. But responsibility also rests on the celeb rities. But because they have a time slot on NBC and people know their faces, they have a certain power — a power they sometimes use to sway voters for a can didate despite their lack of knowlege in that area. It’s not that society purposely lets ce lebrity endorsements sway it, but people hold celebrities above the rest of the crowd. How many times have you heard someone say, “I just adore Tom Sell- eck.’’ You ask, “Have you ever met the man?” Celebrities know they have a power over public opinion to some extent. They should be careful with how they use that power. If they do not have the authority and expertise to choose a can didate for the public — if their knowl edge of the candidates is not greatly deeper than everyone else’s — then they should keep their mouths shut. Picture this: Mrs. Mertz is at home ba bysitting Little Ricky for Mrs. Ricardo. Mrs. Mertz is the average American who has not really made up her mind about which candidate she will vote for in the upcoming presidential election. “No, but I can tell by the way he plays Magnum P.I. that he’s just a heck of a guy. I just/ove him.” The only place they should endorse their candidate is on their own ballots. When a celebrity comes out touting a Becky Weisenfels is a senior journa I ism major, managing editor and a col umnist /or The Battalion. Mail Call What’s a victim to do? n EDITOR: This is in response to Karen I lull’s letter “Victims should fight back,”i Tuesday’s Mail Call regarding last week’s abduction. There is no way in the world she or anyone else can say, “1 would do this.' “She should have done this.” I low can anyone predict what they would do if 4 happened to them? When someone pulls a knife or gun on you, differentp would react in different ways — there is no “suggested” right or wrongactit| week’s victim is not a stupid person — if there was an out, she wouldhavetal The fact that the assailant tried to kill her does not mean that he wassuccdsjj Karen was wrong in assuming that if you choose to go with your attacker, “hi be killed.” 1 shudder to think what my friend would have thought had she read tliislu Ricki Hasou ’88 The Br |nt Chap ledical i comb kponsib t j promot Ass, pub lilies by piich wi |ty becoi 2 of Mori’s high classed fans Pi EDITOR: This letter is written in response to Dean Suel ten fuss’s column aboutTk Morton Downey, Jr. Show. It is obvious that your journalism skills are farlesi those of Geraldo Rivera. “I low is that,” you ask? Let’s work our way through your slop: First, you said that the people who watch Mort are the same people that watch “The Wheel of Fortune”and “Geraldo”. Wrong answer. We don’t watch these shows at all. What we do** CNN more than anything else. Second, you questioned our reasons for watching Mort. I’ll tell you who watch him because he isn’t a bleeding heart liberal like Phil, Oprah or Mike Dukakis. 1 le doesn’t support every little cause that comes along likehomosni or communists. Third, you say that he is a “loud-mouthed, ignorant, incompetent,viei who yells, screams and curses. Loud-mouthed, yes. Ignorant and incompeti In case you weren’t aware, Morton Downey, Jr. has a doctorate from Valiev Christion University in California. He reads 17 newspapers and magazinesii and three books a week. Can you beat that, Mr. Journalist? Can you even comi] close? I think not. So what it he screams, curses and smokes? So do many this campus, including myself and some of my friends. Get your f acts straight. You said that he started reciting the Pledgeof Allegiance. Actually, he and the audience In-g.in singing “Ciod Bless Amenu you watch the show or just hear about it from your liberal comrades? Ho*U is Mort’s show? For purpose, he discusses and exposes controversialissuesinij that conventional journalists are scared to touch. For ethics, heandtheshoi ethics—just not your kind. He just doesn’t take any crap. Finally, whyshou someone be civil to a pimp or a smut dealer? “The type of people who typically watch the show can’t read more than; three words in a row anyway.” Wrong again. We all can read and all readv« track, liberal, geek-brained ad. It states that you are a journalism major, aren’t planning on a career as a reporter. You would make a better propap: writer for Lyndon LaRoucheor the communist party. I’m sure they'llhaveiij for a person who makes up facts and insults the oppostion. Chris Bennett ‘91 Shean Dalton ‘91 Ltll JPet ow jjch as a nquestio bad, hese are bd as p; a 1AR1 Letters to the editor should not exceed 300 words in length. I'hr editorial '•toff reserves the ng and length, but will moke event effort to mamtoin the author's intent. I.ach letter must be signed ladiiis classification, address and telephone number of the writer. n as iblatinj icials Immi; inve: idene iley city sphon Us H< ikewc it at th This pviolat ithe fine, locun lo|g-stai the bordi ||ns c ^ce of lines, :gal mi Enquiring minds want to know about Batt columnist In the past two months I have had the pleasure of seeing the columnists of The Battalion (myself included) referred to with a number of unkind names and la bels. Our patriotism to the United States and to Texas A&M has been questioned and it has been suggested that some of us are conservatives, communists, Nazis or (even worse) liberals. tires. “That sucker was a #%$!# Demo crat, too,” she said. •TIMM DOOLEN Well, I would like to take this oppor tunity to clarify all of these terrible ru mors. I will do this by providing our readers with some brief-but-vital bio graphical information on the columnists here at the Batt. Most of this informa tion has no truth to it and is completely contrived — but I guess that’s what ev eryone expects of Batt columnists. Timm was born at Woodstock in 1969. As a toddler, he grooved to the funky sounds of groups like Santana and Three Dog Night. He absolutely de spises every rock song that has been re leased since 1978, In fact, he is cpiite ad amant in this conviction. >LYDIA BERZSENYI Lydia, the illegitimate daughter of Lt. Col. Oliver North, was born in Washing ton D.C. on the Fourth of July. She is in favor of executing everyone who does not recite the Pledge of Allegiance. Her apartment is decorated with American flags and she has an autographed, life- size poster of Ronald Reagan on her bathroom wall. But despite this happy life of rockin’ and rollin’ to the groovy rhythms of the 60’s and 70’s, Timm has seen his share of personal tradgedy. In the spring of 1987 Timm was forced by some mis chievous acquaintances to listen to Ma donna tapes for several hours. He has slowly been recovering from this trau matic experience, but he still occasion ally bursts into the newsroom with a glazed look in his eyes, singing the tunes “Papa Don’t Preach” and “lake A Vir- gin.” Steve (opening gift): “Aw geez, it’s a Six Million Dollar Man action figure. 1 wanted a Partridge Family collectors’ al bum. I hate this. Steve Austin is a com plete dweeb. Can I return this Ma? Plea se?” Unbeknownst to most of her friends and co-workers, Becky (the Fish Lamp Lady) has been working for the past few years as a secret agent for The Univer sity of Texas. Her mission: To molest, ridicule and destroy the sacred tradi tions of Texas A&M Universitv by what ever means possible. She accomplished this task at first by assuming a covert identity and writing hateful, scathing at tacks against the students and organiza tions of Texas A&M. “mah Levi’s 501 Blues wastooDji they’/ cuttin’ off the circydolaiJl mah brain." •ME 1 ►SUNA PURSER ►STEVE MASTERS When she is not busy with her duties at The Battalion, Lydia (who is a card- carrying member of The American As sociation for the Proliferation of Fire arms) enjoys owning vast quantities of guns and brandishing them in public. Her gun-toting habits recently proved useful when she was able to stop a flee ing bank robber by shooting out his car Steve (known to most A&M students as “The Whiner”) loves to complain about anything and everything. It’s not really Steve’s fault that he complains so much — he was just born that way. Even when he was a little kid he would com plain about the most trivial things. By way of illustration let’s go back in time to Steve’s fifth birthday. As a few of our more observant read ers have already noted, Suna hates ev erything about Texas and Texans. She never misses an opportunity to degrade and humiliate the native residents of our state — in fact she can often be seen parading around campus carrying a large sign that reads “I HATE TEX ANS.” The fictional identity she created for herself was that of an average American college male — a student who eventually went on to become one of the most fa mous columnists to ever write for the Batt. That’s right. What everyone has suspected all along is true— Becky Wei senfels and Karl Pallmeyer are really the same person. 1 am one of the secret effl Adolph Hitler and it isimM spread Nazism to theentiret lieve that people who arecontitj any crime, no matter howslijM he executed immediately. only way that we can weed out tit J rior members of our society and master race of superhumans. ►ANTHONY WILSON Steve: “But Ma, I hate your chocolate icing. It tastes like reconstituted cow manure.” Mom: “Shut up, you whiner, and open your presents.” A few years ago Suna received state wide media attention when she tried to blow up the state capitol in Austin. The attempt would have been a success, Suna said, if she could have restrained herself from yelling “I’m gonna blow this place to pieces!” as she carried boxes of dynamite into the building. But despite her unsuccessful attempt at de stroying the capitol, Suna remains hope ful: “Next year I’m going for the Gover nor’s mansion.” Anthony is a native Texan and every one’s idea of a traditional Aggie. A country boy in every sense of the word, there’s nothing that Anthony enjoys more than badmouthing fraternities and sororities while he downs a case of Lone Star Beer or runs over squirrels with his John Deere tractor. His hatred of Greeks is so intense that he once pro posed that all fraternity members be neutered, thereby saving posterity from a virtual Hell on Earth. . I am also against all formsofwj ogy because technology isavild ral tool of Satan. In myyounjej was a bleeding-heart liberal ported every cause that came: even tried to assasinate a fanittfl vision talk show host, but 1 was J and sent to prison. Inmyi en joy torturing animals by corJj genet ic engineering research on J o d< U1 'V 3^ Bl is SM ►BECKY WEISENFELS Anthony’s only indiscretion concern ing traditions at A&M came when he suggested that the bonfire site be changed. However, he later offered the excuse that he was intoxicated when he wrote the column. “Besides,” he said, So as everyone can plainly® umnists here at The Battalion^ the kind of communist, Nazi conservative, bloodsucking, an anti-Texan, anti-American send Earth you all thought we were. Dean Sueltenfuss is a junior P lism major and columnist lor talion. I The Battalion (USPS 045 360) Member of Texas Press Association Southwest Journalism Conference The Battalion Editorial Board Lydia Berzsenyi, Editor Becky Weisenfels, Managing Editor Anthony Wilson, Opinion Page Editor Richard Williams, City Editor D A Jensen, Denise Thompson, News Editors Hal Hammons, Sports Editor Jay Janner, Art Director Leslie Guy, Entertainment Editor Editorial Policy The Battalion is a non-profit, self-supporting newspa per operated as a community service to Texas A&M and Bryan-College Station. Opinions expressed in The Battalion are those of the editorial board or the author, and do not necessarily rep resent the opinions of Texas A&M administrators, fac ulty or the Board of Regents. The Battalion also serves as a laboratory newspaper for students in reporting, editing and photography- classes within the Department of Journalism. The Battalion is published Monday through Friday during Texas A&M regular semesters, except for holiday and examination periods. Mail subscriptions are $17.44 per semester, $34.62 per school year and $36.44 per full year. Advertising rates furnisnedon request. Our address: The Battalion, 230 Reed McDonald, Texas A&M University, College Station, TX 77843-1 111. Second class postage paid at College Station, TX 77843. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to The Battal ion, 216 Reed McDonald, Texas A&M University, Col lege Station TX 77843-4 111. BLOOM COUNTY by Berke mtorrr" M£6dt/7:" \ MflKe // W ' T U/rfH... IU//5H... C/H... T tV/$H fvt? mem can mu tu keep acto/o uKe ipiots akoonp wompa/ anp we _ 6UN NOT TP fPPPZP " CXYy