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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Sept. 7, 1988)
Wednesday, September 7, 1988/The Battalion/Page 3B # MSC Aggie radicals run wild jaccording to a survey What would be the one change you would make at Texas A&M? “Abolish and obliterate Gay Stu- lent Services and any judge who ules in their favor." “Get rid of fra ternities and sororities.” “Fire Presi- lent Vandiver and rehire Gordon aton.” “Fire Shelby Metcalf.” “A- bolish the Corps of Cadets.” “Im prove the counseling staff.” “Get [l etter faculty members.” 1 didn’t say it, I just repeated some of the responses the Student Gov ernment’s student opinion survey got, although I do agree with at least one of those suggestions. T he survey was administered last fall to 1,000 A&M students with most of the 212 responses coming from seniors, f'rT'/i ^graduate students' and juniors, in |hat order. It seems from some of the re sponses that the Aggie population as been successfully infiltrated by [more than two students who aren’t [satisfied with the status quo. No, I idn’t fill out the survey, if you’re till wondering abvout the Corps bolitionist in the second paragraph, he survey questions ranged in sub ject from academic affairs to campus ntertainment. And, of course, the responses ranged in intelligence as well. Along the more intelligent line, some students suggested more night classes and perhaps a day-care fa cility for students and faculty mem bers who have children. I guess not ill Aggies are single and between the ages of 18 band 22, suntanning themselves through college while Dad picks up the tab. 1 hope that doesn’t scare anybody. Surprisingly, the question about HI 01 16 >1 whether coed housing should be an option on campus drew positive re actions from about 67 percent of the respondents. But I liked some of the negative responses: “Texas A&M is a conservative school. I respect this and so do many other individuals. We don’t have to change just because everyone else is.” I’d like to see this person’s ward robe. “There is enough temptation and sexual immorality now.” Praise be. “I wasn’t impressed with Jester Hall in Austin.” Then what were you doing there, young lady/man? Here’s another interesting ques tion: “Are you in favor of a student- run Honor Court that will have the power to investigate alleged viola tions of the Aggie Code of Honor? (Note: This Honor Court would have the right to suspend and/or ex pel convicted violators.)” Forget about the joker who ar ranged to have this question in cluded in the survey, some of the re sponses are most entertaining. “This is a great idea and would help to revive Aggie honor missing in the present-day student. How ever, with so many students at this University, especially ones that do not care about being an Aggie, it would be difficult to make it work.” True Aggies are beau-ti-ful, like a rainbow. . . “If they threw everyone out who broke the Aggie Code of Honor, the campus would be empty — includ ing the Corps dorms.” “Leave the vigilantism to the fa natics.” According to the survey, about 61 percent of the respondents are fanatics. “A code of honor should not need to be enforced.” Amen. Flipping through the survey com paring and contrasting some of the quesions and answers also was inter esting. For instance, responding to the question about making one change at A&M, a students sug gested A&M have “less weed-out classes.” Concerning the health center, one student wrote, “Get better doctors or ones that can speak English.” About necessary changes, another student wrote “Obolish the . . . GSS.” There was a disclaimer at the front of the survey saying that the comments appeared exactly as they were written by the respondents — grammar and spelling included. Forget fewer weed-out classes, A&M has a little more work to do on its garden. To cap it all off was this question: “In your mind, what is the most pressing issue which you feel that TAMU Student Government should pursue?” I’ve selected four responses from the list. See if you can determine which response might be a “pressing issue” at A&M. A) “A return to more conservative values and traditions.” B) “Getting the bicycle riders off the sidewalks.” C) “Improve the quality of aca demic advising.” D) “ Kick Gay Student Services off campus.” Please don’t cheat off your neigh bor’s paper. By Mike Sullivan, March 25, 1987 Snoopy, Charlie Brown betray trust for big bucks I have never been a big fan of advertising. The main purpose of advertising is to convince people to buy hings they don’t really need. There are laws that prevent advertisers from telling outright lies to the public. An advertiser can’t say a product will do sonething that it doesn’t. But advertis ers have found methods to stretch the truth and insin uate without actually lying to the public. Sometimes ihese methods get out of hand. The Coke and candy machines here in the Reed Mc Donald Building, which have been dubbed the Batt Cafeteria, provide nourishment for all the hard work ing journalists who spend the better part of their eve nings producing this paper in an attempt to keep the public informed. The Batt Cafeteria supplies chips, crackers, candy bars and other almost-edible snacks. Occasionally the Batt Cafeteria offers fried pies. You might not be familiar with these fruit-filled pies, the ones I so lovingly refer to as “The Pies From Hell.” If these pies had a big yellow, neon sticker that screams: “WARNING! These pies have been condemned by the EPA because they would make a herd of goats barf,” I wouldn’t object to them. But advertisers have gone one step too far in their attempt to push these pies in the face of the unsuspecting public. The apple and cherry pies have Snoopy on the wrap per. Most people have come th know and love th beagle from Charles M. Shultz’s classic comic strip. These pies have been around for years, but I had never tried one. After seeing Snoopy on television and reading his ex ploits in various books and newspapers, I felt that I could trust this mutt. I decided to eat one of the cherry pies. The first thing you notice when you rip through the Snoopy-embellished wrapper is that the pie has the con sistency of one of the exhibits in Madame Tussaud’s. This dull, waxy yellow buildup on the pie crust is the tastiest portion of the pie (excluding, of course, the wrapper). Your first bite of the pie usually brings up nothing but crust and air since, for the most part, the pie is hol low. The wrapper says cherry pie, and that’s what you get — a single cherry and a bunch of cherry-colored p. If this goop was green instead of red you might think the workers at the pie factory had hay fever and couldn’t find a Kleenex. That cherry pie was one of the worst food experiences I’ve ever had outside of our wonderful Fightin’. Texas Aggie Dining Halls. Despite the unspeakable awfulness of the Snoopy cherry pies, I keep eating them so that my fellow jour nalists won’t fall into the same trap I had. I refuse to touch the apple pies, though. Sometimes sacrifice has its limits. I was disappointed that Snoopy had betrayed my trust and allowed me to eat something that I wouldn’t feed Moammar Gadhafi. Recently Snoopy has taken to selling insurance. Some dogs have no scruples. I used to wnder why Charlie Brown allowed his dog to sell out. That was until I tried one of the chocolate pies. The chocolate pies taste even worse than the cherry pies and have Charlie Brown on the wrapper. The chocolate pies have the same dull, waxy yellow build-up on the pie crust, but the insides are filled with a sub stance that resembles three-week-old diarrhea. Given the choice of eating a Charlie Brown chocolate pie or spending five years in a Viet Cong summer camp, I would choose the all-expenses paid trip to the Ho Chi Minh Health Spa without hesitation. I have learned to deal with the treacherous tenden cies that Snoopy displays. But it was a crushing blow when Charlie Brown pulled a Benedict Arnold. Charlie Brown and I were one. We shared many of the same traits: we never won a baseball game, we never could kick a football, we could never get a kite off the ground and the rest of the world never quite understood us. We both had similar problems with the cute little red- haired girl, too. I felt I could trust Charlie Brown. There was a certain kinship between us until that block head began to peddle pies. Some Madison Avenue ad vertising executive must have given Charlie Brown a ton of money to get him to do this. The ’80s have become the decade of the sellout: Jerry Rubin became a yuppie, Timothy Leary started selling computers, Bobby Seale became a Reagan supporter, Paul McCartney sang with Michael Jackson, and Bruce Springsteen became popular. Charlie Brown is selling pies that violate all laws of human decency. It’s sad that so many are willing to sell their souls for so little. By Karl Pallmeyer, Aug. 7, 1986 TOWN HALL PRESENTS Friday, October 14 - 8:OOpm Q. Rollie White Coliseum with Special Guest Gene Watson TICKETS GO ON SALE SEPT. 10th Tickets available at the MSC Box Office & Dillards in the Post Oak Mall to order by phone call Teletron at 1-800-426-3094 for more information call 845-1234 Tickets are $15.00