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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (April 27, 1988)
Page 2/The Battalion/Wednesday, April 27, 1988 r Opinion The end of the semester means it’s interviewing time John MacPougall The semester is approaching an end, and if you’re a graduating stu dent you may be fretting over up coming interviews. The interview process gives stu dents a chance to learn more about prospective com panies. In turn, in terviewers are given an opportunity to judge potential employees. The whole process can be an exercise in cruelty for students. The following is a test to de termine if you are ready to knock heads with a corporate interviewer. The Defensive Interview You are interviewing for a very desir able job. “Son,” your interviewer and executioner says with a serious look, “your resume indicates a total lack of di rection in your career aspirations. Mc Donald’s, lifeguard, security guard, Committee to Elect Opus for President. . . Why, you haven’t worked in one place for more than four months. How do you account for this hodgepodge of summer and part-time jobs?” The cor rect response is: a. “Sir, there is a thread that connects this seemingly random assortment of jobs . . . um . . . ah . . . Oh! That is the sincere desire to pay my rent, food and tuition.” b. “Life is just too short not to try to experience it all.” The Character Builder Your interviewer, an obnoxious pre- pster who is a manager with a Wall Street investment firm, blows cigar smoke in your face and informs you that he’d personally prefer to hire Ivy League MBAs for this job, but his com pany has an affirmative action program for Texans. You should react by: a. “Accidentally” spilling your Nehi grape soda in his Gucci briefcase. b. Flipping him half a peace sign and letting him know that you have no de sire to work for a capitalist pig from Big Foot makes debut as a dancing fool on Soul Train stage Lewis Grizzard I was walking through a conve nience store, and I noticed one of those tabloid newspapers that always have the great headlines. The lead head line on the partic- ular paper screamed, “WWII PLANE FOUND ON MOON!” This, of course, was rather mild com pared to other headlines you see in the world of journalism-gone-bonkers. Some of my other favorites over the years have been, “GIRL, 11, GIVES BIRTH TO CALF!” “GHOST OF EL VIS HAUNTS MR. ROGERS!” “WO MAN PUREES HUSBAND IN HOME BLENDER!” This is my 23rd year as a journalist. Some of it has been great fun. I covered a national political conven tion once where they gave the press free beer. I’ve talked to two presidents, one man who claimed to be Jesus and another who said he knew who was buried in the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier but was sworn to secrecy. But there are the slow periods, too. When all you’ve got cooking is tax re form, high winds in Kansas and another ballplayer headed for a drug rehab pro gram. I was thinking as I left the conve nience store how much easier this pro fession would be if we could do like the tabloids and simply make up the news. That, essentially, is what those publica tions do. They make up news stories, put big headlines on them and place them in racks in convenience stores and grocery stores. And they get away with it because a lot of people with pin-sized brains take this stuff seriously. There’s a lot of things I could write about today: the trouble in Panama, the presidential election, the West Bank, the fall of the dollar — but I’d rather make up some news. Did you hear Big Foot made a recent appearance of “Soul Train,” for in stance? You didn’t know about that? “Dangdest thing ever,” said Lewanda J., a “Soul Train” regular who danced with B.F. “He is a dancin’ fool, but I had to watch out he didn’t step on my head with one of those big feet.” If you didn’t know about Big Foot, you probably didn’t hear about the baby who was born in Yonderville, S.D., with six heads either. Said the proud parents, “We got half them heads named, but we’re still work ing on the other three.” How about the fact Cleveland re cently disappeared from the face of the earth? Heck of a thing. Authorities think it might have been the work of ur ban planners. Then there was the episode where a 34-year-old woman from Delores, Texas, married a frog. “It was between him and that nice goat who lives up the street,” she said. “I just hope I haven’t leaped into anything too fast.” Did you know that Merv Griffin and Yasir Arafat are the same person? Did you hear that you can lose weight with the new elephant diet? And you can eat one elephant a day, but you have to catch your own elephant. I’d like to go on but a story just broke that George Bush is actually from Uranus. See you in the funny papers. Copyright 1987, Cowles Syndicate The Battalion (USPS 045 360) Member of Texas Press Association Southwest Journalism Conference The Battalion Editorial Board Sue Krenek, Editor Daniel A. LaBry, Managing Editor Mark Nair, Opinion Page Editor Amy Couvillon, City Editor Robbyn L. Lister and Becky Weisenfels, News Editors Loyd Brumfield, Sports Editor Jay Janner, Photo Editor Editorial Policy The Battalion is a non-profit, self-supporting newspa per operated as a community service to Texas A&M and Bryan-College Station. Opinions expressed in The Battalion are those of the editorial board or the author, and do not necessarily rep resent the opinions of Texas A&M administrators, fac ulty or the Board of Regents. The Battalion also serves as a laboratory newspaper for students in reporting, editing and photography classes within the Department of Journalism. The Battalion is published Monday through Friday during Texas A&M regular semesters, except for holiday and examination periods. Mail subscriptions are $17.44 per semester, $34.62 per school year and $36.44 per full year. Advertising rates furnished on request. Our address: The Battalion, 230 Reed McDonald, Texas A&M University, College Station, TX 77843-1 111. Second class postage paid at College Station, TX 77843. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to The Battal ion, 216 Reed McDonald, Texas A&M University, Col lege Station TX 77843-4 111. New York. Furthermore, you intend to vote for Jesse Jackson if he wins the Democratic presidential nomination. Huh? You spent almost all your bid points trying to get interviews with major oil companies. Since then, you’ve been wal lpapering your apartment with flush let ters. You spent your last three points on a firm selected randomly from a compu terized list. The day of the interview you discover that the company you signed up for is a potato chip manufacturer in Indiana. Interviewer: Tell me how you feel you can contribute to the company? You: As a financial analyst, I think I can analyze the potato chip market from an economic perspective and provide managers with alternatives for future courses of action. Interviewer: Ms. , if you read the position description posted in the lounge, you would realize that the job you applied for was driving a “Mr. Chips” truck. The correct response is: a. “Sorry” b. “I knew that.” c. “Does this position allow for advan cement?” Out of the Blue Your interviewer, who recently watched a Barbara Walters special on network TV, follows up a career goals question with this gem. “Ih you could be a tree, what kind of tree would you be?” You should respond by: a. Screaming and hollering because they didn’t teach you that one in Inter viewing 101. b. Calmly telling him that you believe in reincarnation and were, in fact, an oak in a previous life. Taking a fall You are interviewing for a job you don’t want in a town you’ve never heard of in the West Texas desert. The inter viewer is so excited about your resume and qualifications that he assures you that you have the job if you are willing to go on a plant trip. The proper course of action for you is: a. Ask the interviewer if he is wearing a company-issued suit. b. Refuse to take a drug test. c. Tell the interviewer that you re cently contracted aids from sharing a dirty syringe. Seriously, interviewing is becoming an increasingly aggressive effort on col lege campuses across the nation. Be pre pared for the worst. Some company representatives are told to “ruffle the feathers” of students to see how they stand up under pressure. A friend of mine interviewed with a company rep who put his feet up on the table, cussed at her and then lit up a big fatcigarand smoked out their cubicle. She asked him if he was either a complete jerk or was trying to test her character. She didn’t get the job, but said she felt a lot better when her interviewer admitted that he was trying to shake her. John MacDougall is a graduate student and a columnist /or The Battalion. SK&TUY; ftNW&KUMS WAk-ArPORH HUMBER N OH Qto, SENATOR.- \ WWT YOU TO REfiULMH THE CONTENT OF KY PHQHE CAIASA AND Dcm STOP ff Wt-MORN, YOU AUTWOWTAWAN HUNIV" BAN EVERYTHING VOU PONT APPRPA OF/- uost UVE nr when you MAKE Mail Call Attack of the Aggie camera EDITOR: Last night I attended my fourth Muster ceremony and, for the first time, got a seat up close. It was at this Muster that I was made particularly aware of a presence other than the Aggie Spirit — the Aggie camera. While I fully suppport the recording of such events — whether it be to document that event or to bring it to someone unable to attend — it should not interfere with the solemnity of the ceremony or invade the privacy of those family and friends in attendance. The video cameras recorded Muster; however, the still photos destroyed the solemnity. When a camera is shoved in the face of a grief- sticken family member, I do not think any useful purpose is served. Is that going to help us better remember Muster, or does it just upset the person further. So next year when Muster ’89 is being planned, think not of how many photojournalism awards your pictures can win, but of the feelings of those Muster is held for — the family and friends of the deceased Aggies. Debbie Caldarola Accompanied by 86 signatures A special kind of people EDITOR: Texas A&M is, if not the most, one of the most special universities in the world. Its students are a group of the most caring and giving individuals I’ve ever seen in my life. I’m speaking specifically about the Aggie coaches and volunteers who participated in the Special Olympics this past weekend at Bryan High School. Athletes from school districts around Texas came to Bryan Viking Stadium to participate in the games which started Friday night. What they found was a stadium full of Aggies willing to give love and support in every possible way. This was the first time I have been involved in the Special Olympics, and I was amazed at the large number of Aggies that participated. The love and enthusiasm given by all the Aggies was a picture worth a thousand words, shown in the face of each and every athlete. I was one of those Aggie coaches. My athlete was Danny Bone. Danny has cerebral palsy, but that didn’t slow him down for a minute. Danny was the most talkative, energetic person I’ve ever met. He had his own special way of showing affection, which was unique only to his wonderful personality. There is nothing more satisfying than seeing a stadium full of Aggies caring and giving support to a stadium full of “Dannys.” After Friday night’s activities, I was walking with Danny and his father to their car. And he said to me, “I’ve never been much of an Aggie supporter, but after seeing this, I thing Aggies are the most caring people in the world.” He also talked with a man who travels all over following Special Olympic events. The man told him, “No matter where you go, you’ll always find Aggies at the Special Olympics. I’ve been to a lot of events, but I’ve never seen anything like this in my life.” Aggies truly are a special kind of people. Michael Brown ’87 Letters to the editor should not exceed 300 words in length. The editorial staff re serves the right to edit letters for style and length, but will make every effort to maintain the author’s intent. Each letter must be signed and must include the clas sification, address and telephone number of the writer. BLOOM COUNTY by Berke Breathed o, uuermmrY mmes of wuc IMPORT LAV eefVPB HA. TW5 Fi/TVRT .~A OFFtCeHOLPeR ? HUMPRUM CONUNPRUM- IRHFTP THAT M&Vi ? WAS THAT A CRITICAL COMMRHT ? 5PFAK FN0U5H / V. MfFN we CRITICS 07ART 7HIHKIH6 imy'RB SMAKTBK THAN we CANpiPAmf, ■ THtf CM/mY'Z /*/ ,