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Page 2/The Battalion/Wednesday, March 2, 1988 Opinion It’s time to kill The Beast and move up in the world 7 Robin Leach shouldn’t have opened his big mouth. The color ful, aristocratic host of “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous” told America that auto mobiles are reflec tions of our per sonalities. Now that graduation John MacDougall approaches and I’m looking for a newer, used car, I find this tidbit a little depressing. ents while I was an undergraduate stu dent. I remember that Christmas well . . . sifting through my stocking by the fire place, through the Bazooka bubble gum and those god-awful cream-filled choco late eggs. What’s this? Shiny car keys. “You shouldn’t have. Dad.’’ He glances at me with an “aw shucks —go getum ti ger” look. “It’s parked down the street, son. ” I bolt out the door, around the corner. There’s nothing in sight, except for the neighbor’s car. I run back inside, exclaiming “someone stole my new car!” Dad looks at me in bewilderment. My brother escorts me outside. the Beast isn’t a radical departure for me. At the time the Nova was bestowed upon me, I was earless. My former car, a 1977 baby blue Pinto, which I had bought for $500 in Houston, had thrown a rod in San Antonio. I had lent the car to a friend with instructions to use an oil to gas ration of about 1 to three when he tanked it up. He ne glected to feed it, and the engine blew. For the last four years, I’ve been driv ing The Beast — a four-door 1976 Chevy Nova, which, during its peak was one of the work horses of the General Motors line. However, time and the el ements were cruel to the Nova, which is strickened by a severe case of malignant car cancer that threatens to eat up the trunk. “That’s it,” he says half sarcastically, pointing in the direction of the neigh bor’s driveway. “It’s really not so bad. Even has a V-8 under the hood. ” The Beast was a “gift” from my par And so I was introduced to the Beast, an oil guzzling, gas gurgling machine. A Fine expression of my personality, that vehicle is. Four doors, park bench seats, two steel bumpers and more square edges than a lifeguard’s jaw. Of course, The Pinto was variously described by my female friends as a “cute car” and by my male buddies as a “tuna fish can with wheels.” But I didn’t care. 1 had a car when most of my friends were stuck rid ing the bus. The baby blue Pinto was the third one I had owned in as many years. I inherited my first one when I was only 15 from my oldest brother, who had nearly totalled in a collision with a police car. After repairs the car had more bondo on it than steel. In fact, the Beast was so burdened by bondo, that an en tire quarter panel cracked off after bak ing in the sun for months. I got into the habit of missing the school bus before I got my driver’s license when I was a sophomore in high school, so my mother would let me drive it to school. One day a giant grocery truck slammed into me from behind on my way to school. Luckily, there was no explosion, but the car looked like an aluminum accordion. The truck driver got out of his vehicle and began apologizing, say ing it was his fault. I was so paranoid about getting a ticket for driving with out a license that I told him to forget about it. I drove the Pinto home for the last time that day. head-banging stereo and amplifier tlJ fits neatly into a dash filled with spatt; age lights, beepers and dials I don't ever! need. And a moon roof that rollsba«| electrically without dimming the I lights. The car of my dreams hastobtj fast and handle well. But I don’t wan anything obnoxious that might cause my new boss to white knuckle thefron seat when 1 take him for his first ride Because I didn’t know any better, I bought another Pinto when I turned sixteen with money I had saved mowing lawns. That one lasted a full year and a half before the engine blew up. By the time I bought a third Pinto, my class mates and friends were convinced that either I was nuts or 1 had a death wish. I need a car that befits my true sell which has been repressed by yearso; driving old American cars. A Ri Royce? (Nah, that’s too ostentatious. Mercedes Benz? No, those carsaref® the geriatric crowd. A Corvette? Than the ticket. First off, it’s American,sol would be helping to keep our autowori ers in business. Second, it’s fast. Ait third, it’s sleek and refined. Now that I’ve been through three Pintos and nine-tenths of a Nova, 1 think I’m ready for an image im provement. I want a car with muscle and lines. A big roaring motor in a sleek aerodynamic body. Of course I need a But there is one problem. I got chan} pagne tastes and an MD 20/20 budget Is there anyone out there who’d tradt me a ’vette for my next student loan? I John MacDougall is a graduate studa in the MBA program and a colunwis forThe Battalion. Mail Call Stupid sports guys EDITOR: Going into the Olympics, everyone was excited about our hockey team and the chances of the playoffs. Now that the playoff s are out of the question, suddenly our hockey team isn’t worth a damn. I read Loyd Brumfield’s arti cle about lean USA and I have to say he is just like all the other stupid sports columnists. He hardly had a nice thing to say — everything was negative. I am a true American, I cheered when we won, I got mad when we lost, but I don’t blame the team or the coach. The team was made up of people much like us — college guys who want to play hockey. These guys are not profes sionals nor do they get paid, but they still choose to represent the United States. Coach Peterson did a fine job also. Hey, Loyd, you sure had a lot to say. Why don’t you try out for coach in the next Olympics, then maybe some columnist will write a stupid article about you and your team. I think all the American competitors have great pride and will give their all for their country, and I will be behind them all the way. Greg Tonnies ’90 The problem with apartheid EDITOR: I am writing in response to the article submitted in Monday’s paper titled “Students Against Democracy.” I found this article very shocking and down right scary. Anyone who is a little more informed on the situation in South Africa will know that the A.N.C. stands for African National Congress and, for 50 years they have been trying fruitless non-violent protests. Second, two- thirds of the blacks in South Africa support the ANC. They recognize that a total trade ban divestment would result in some increased unemployment. But, they recognize also that apartheid is the principle cause of unemploy ment and the misery they suffer from daily. Just as the union of mineworkers accepted the loss of Income & Jobs and the threat of violence when over 350,000 miners struck for higher wages, black South Af ricans and Namibians have decided that they are prepared the accept a short term increase in suf fering in order to bring an end to the perpetual oppression of apartheid slav ery. Furthermore, Students Against Apartheid if nothing else is fighting for freedom, liberty, and justice in South Africa. In conclusion, people who are against such peace loving, freedom-fighting organizations bring to mind a quote by John F. Kennedy, “Those who make peaceful revolution impossible make violence inevitable.” Susan Vint ’90 president of SAA Apartheid is the intelligent answer EDITOR: I’m writing in regard to the anti-apartheid activity that the black students have been mounting on campus. I would like to say that based on my experi ences and what I’ve seen, I think white South Africans are very intelligent to institute apartheid if they want to preserve their country and their freedom. It is obvious to me that the black Africans are attempting to use sheer num bers of impoverished humanity as a weapon to drive the white out of that country. The only real defense against this sort of attack is to separate them out so that they cannot drag the country down. In this manner they are also forced to bear the responsibility of irresponsible population growth. Having lived a number of years in New Orleans, a city controlled and run by blacks, I will say that blacks are every bit as race conscious, and much more so in my opinion, than whites. Black people stick together and act in their own self-interests. They are a separate race and they act like it. They like to play to the “great white father” complex that many white people have in or der to get sympathy for their cause. If I were a white South African, I would not submit myself to black rule and would do exactly as they have in spite of bad public relations. The U.S. should support South Africa. We could learn some lessons from them ourselves. aylor Sealy ’75 rs to the editor should not exceed 300 words in length. The editorial staff reserves the light to edit letters style and length, but will make every effort to maintain the author’s intent. Each letter must.be signed and ast include the classification, address and telephone number of the writer. BUSH ’8BlW MA£<aiiK Michael Dukakis’ metamorphosis into a Super Tuesday southerner Massachusetts Governor Michael Dukakis was still enjoying his vic tory in the New Hampshire Demo cratic presidential primary when an aide called him into a Super Tues day strategy ses sion. Super Tuesday, Lewis Grizzard March 8, will see 20 states hold presi dential contests. Fourteen of these states are in the Deep South. “Mike,” began one of his aides, “do you know much about the Deep South?” “No,” the New Englander replied, “but I did see ’To Kill a Mockingbird’ twice. I was very impressed with Robert Duvall’s Boo Radley.“ “Excellent,” the aide said. “Do you also know campaigning in the South will be much different than in New Eng land?" “In what way?” Governor Dukakis asked. “Well, I don’t know much about the Deep South, either," the aide answered, “but I’ve heard a lot of these people don’t wear shoes and walk around say ing such things as ’sho-nuff and ’bless yo’ heart.’” “How quaint,” said the governor. “That’s not all,” the aide went on, “they have some very strange customs with which you are not going to be fami liar.” “Could you be more specific, old boy.” “They eat strange foods. While you are hunting for voters in the South, you are likely to be offered some native dishes such as grits.” “Grits have always puzzled me,” said the candidate. “Is it ’Grits are?’ or ’Grits is?”’ “’Am’ sir,” answered the aide. “It’s ’Grits am.’” “I’ll be able to handle that,” said Du kakis. “I’ll simply say, ’These grits sho- nuff am good.’” “Perfect,” said the aide. “We’ve also got to do something about your appear ance. Southerners don’t dress like we do.” “They don’t?” “No, we’ll have to get you a cap with the name of a chewing tobacco company or a heavy machinery manufacturer on the front. “If we could also find you a shirt with your name sewn over the left pocket, that would be good too. And there’s one other thing.” “What’s that?” asked Dukakis. and countn “It’s your name. We think we cat really make some headway against Gore if we can introduce you as Mike[ (Bubba) Dukakis.’” “That’s fine.” “We also expect you to be able to con verse with Southerners on topics thai are most important to ther “The trade imbalance?” “No. College football music. You must learn to say, ‘Hov ’bout them Dawgs.’” ‘“Dahgs?”’ “No. Watch my mouth. It’s ‘daawgs as in ‘haawgs’ and ‘fraawgs ‘“Haahgs,”’ said the New England politician. “Don’t worry about it, we’ll try later,” said the aide. “Just remember when you’re talking to a Southerner occasionally to throwin names like Merle Haggard, Georfl Jones and Bear Bryant and you’ll bf OK.” “Well, bless yo’ daahg, Bubba,” said the governor. “I think I’ve got it.” “Should we celebrate, sir?” asked (lit aide. “Of course. A Courvoisier with alittk branch water for me,” laughed the go' ernor, feeling more Southern by tm minute. Copyright 1987, Cowles Syndicate The Battalion (USPS 045 360) Member of Texas Press Association Southwest Journalism Conference The Battalion Editorial Board Sue Krenek, Editor Daniel A. LaBry, Managing Editor Mark Nair, Opinion Page Editor Amy Couvillon, City Editor Robbyn L. Lister and Becky Weisenfels, News Editors Loyd Brumfield, Sports Editor Sam B. Myers, Photo Editor Editorial Policy The Battalion is a non-profit, self-supporting newspa per operated as a community service to Texas A&M and Bryan-College Station. Opinions expressed in The Battalion are those of the editorial board or the author, and do not necessarily rep resent the opinions of Texas A&M administrators, fac ulty or the Board of Regents. The Battalion also serves as a laboratory newspaper for students in reporting, editing and photography classes within the Department of Journalism. The Battalion is published Monday through Friday during Texas A&M regular semesters, except for holiday and examination periods. 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