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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Oct. 30, 1986)
Page 2/Thursday, October 29, 1986/The Battalion Opinion Despite painful memories mowing now not badcs I mowed the lawn the other day. It was the first time in about four years that I got behind a mower and pushed it through grass the size of overgrown mun- chkins. The funny thing is that I real ly had a good time. When I was Karl Pallmeyer growing up in Matador, I used to want to help my brother with the mowing. My brother never appreciated my help, usually because it would take twice as long to get the job done. I wanted to play with the dogs in the freshly cut grass and kept getting in the way. He sometimes would let me push the mower with him, but when I got a little older I discovered how heavy that machine was without my brother’s touch. When I was old enough, I was stuck with the mowing all by my self. The yard at our home in Matador was HUGE. It usually took three full days to complete the task. The fact that the mower broke down every 10 minutes didn’t help. I woidd have to get my brother to fix the mower so that I could complete my duties. Despite prayers to the great Briggs and Stratton god, my brother always managed to get the damn thing running again. I always was grateful for the slight reprive from mowing that the mechanic al breakdown provided, but I never en joyed my brother’s remarks concerning my obvious lack of manhood because I couldn’t put a carburetor back together. Some kids, namely my brother, are born with great mechanical ability, but I was not. Older brothers rarely are sym pathetic when it comes to a younger brother’s inability to get a motor started. When we moved to Meridian, the yard wasn’t much better. Unfortunately the yard at our Meridian home was just as big as the other one, and even worse, this yard had trees. It’s bad enough when you have to mow in a straight line but when you have to work around trees you spend twice as much time on the job. While Matador was in the Panhandle and rarely got rain during the summer months, Meridian usually received lots of rain. I always seemed to finish the front yard before a week-long rain storm hit. By the time things dried up enough to continue mowing and finish the back yard, the front needed cutting again. I felt like I had been condemned to Dante’s “Inferno” and my punishment was to mow for eternity. When we moved to Meridian, the old Briggs and Stratton, along with all of its problems went with us. By this time my brother had grown up and moved away so I had to find someone else to fix the mower. That someone else was my dad. It was awful. I would try in vain for hours to get the mower started, but it would never work. My dad would give the cord one pull and the mower would purr to life, eager to destroy any grass that lay in its path. After a couple of hours of mowing, the machine would sputter and die. Once again I pull and pull and pull to no avail. My dad would come out, give the cord a single pull and once again the mower jumped into ac tion. I am convinced that a special fea- The “Father Switch” will keep the mower from starting if it’s in the “off” position. Only fathers know the location of the “Father Switch” so that sons will be forced to ask their dads for help and dads have something that makes them feel superior to their sons. The Briggs and Stratton secret instruction book must have a whole chapter on the “Father Switch” that includes sly re marks to make to your son once you start the mower he has been fighting for the past 10 years of his life. On more occasions than I would care to remember, the mower’s problems could not be solved by the “Father Switch.” Sometimes the mower had to be taken apart, and that led to a wonderful father-son get together over parts and tools and grease and sweat. After a few dozen frustrated hours of mower repair, my father began to sus pect that I had sabotaged the mower in an attempt to free myself from my duties. Little did he realize that I would gladly mow a dozen lawns, trees and all, than incur his wrath. Jjou'RG UNDER ARREST.' © A movie without popcorn like a teen-ager without zits NEW YORK — This is incredible. Here I am in the entertainment capital of the world, and 1 go into a movie thea ter on Broadway, the entertainment street of the world, and I can’t buy popcorn. Lewis Grizzard There was popcorn in the movie thea ter. There just was nobody behind the counter to sell it. “I would like to speak to the mana ger,” I said to the man who had taken my ticket. “There’s nobody to sell the pop corn.” “The manager’s not here,” said the man, “but I can tell you why there’s no body to sell the popcorn. The popcorn girl didn’t show up for work.” “What’s the problem with her?” I asked. “She has a new zit?” (Ever notice that all kids who work for movie theaters have terrible acne?) “No,” the ticket-taker replied, “her boyfriend, Julio, lost his earring in a gangfight and she’s helping him look for it.” “Why don’t you sell me some pop corn?” I asked. “No way,” he answered. “The union won’t let me.” I’m dying for a bag of popcorn and I have to run into Samuel Gompers. The reason I go to movies in the first place is for the popcorn. A movie with out popcorn is like a punkhead without an earring. I always buy the largest container of popcorn available, so if the movie is long and boring, like Amadeus, I still have a good time eating all that popcorn. I’m also stingy with my popcorn. If I take a date to the movie, I always ask her politely, “Will you have some popcorn?” Most women answer that by saying, “No, I’ll just have some of yours.” I never fall for that. Nobody can eat just a little popcorn, so when a woman doesn’t have her own she starts eating yours, and pretty soon, it’s all gone. I say, “Listen, you can have as much or as little popcorn as you want, but you must carry it to your seat in your own personal container. Try to get some of mine, and you’ll draw back a nub.” I rarely have a second date with a woman I take to a movie, but a man must have his priorities in order. The movie I saw sans popcorn was Rob Reiner’s “Stand by Me.” It’s about four 12-year-olds who go looking for a dead body and nearly get eaten by a junkyard dog, run over by a train, drained dry of their blood by leeches and sliced by bullies’ switch blades. It’s a comedy. The Battalion (USPS 045 360) Member of Texas Press Association Southwestjournalism Conference The Battalion Editorial Board Cathie Anderson, Editor Kirsten Dietz, Managing Editor Loren Steffy, Opinion Page Editor Frank Smith, City Editor Sue Krenek, News Editor Ken Sury, Sports Editor Editorial Policy The Battalion is a non-profit, self-supporting newspaper oper- ‘ "cM and Br ~ iryan-College Sta- ated as a community service to Texas A&M ; lion. Opinions expressed in The Battalion are those of the editorial board or the author, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Texas A&M administrators, faculty or the Board of Regents. The Battalion also serves as a laboratory newspaper for students in reporting, editing and photography classes within the Depart ment of Journalism. The Battalion is published Monday through Friday during Texas A&M regular semesters, except for holiday and examination periods. Mail subscriptions are $17.44 per semester, $34.62 per school Vavertising rates furnished But that’s about all I remember. I was too busy thinking about popcorn to pay much attention to the movie. As I was leaving the theater, the pop corn girl finally was showing up for work with Julio and his relocated earring in tow. year and $36.44 per full year. Advertising rates furnished on re quest. Our address: The Battalion, 216 Reed McDonald Building, Texas A&M University, College Station, TX 77843. Second class postage paid at College Station, TX 77843. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to The Battalion, 216 Reed McDonald, Texas A&M University, College Station TX 77843. “You’re both a disgrace to the good name of Orville Redenbacher,” I said, wishing on both the dreaded curse of large, red zits on the ends of their noses. Harsh perhaps, but popcorn is my life. When I moved off to college I finally was reprived of the mowing sentence I had received when I got old enough to take over for my brother. The main reason I have gone to summer school for four years is so I wouldn’t be home long enough to have to struggle with the old Briggs and Stratton. (Ironically, the old Briggs and Stratton became the new Briggs and Stratton when my dad began to start mowing.) 1 spent my college career living in dorms and apartments without yards — until I found a house to rent. Now 1 have a yard, even though it is a small one. At the first of the summer, when my roommates and I moved into the house, we tried to split up all of the tasks equally. Needless to say I didn’t volunteer for the mowing privileges. Until the other day. The lawn had grown to the point where the neighbor kids begat jk appear and small bones wereik|| in the driveway. My roommate tr busy with work and school,atj By he c afternoon with a little free time,I, ed up the mower, a Bri supplied by our landlord.and,* it. 1 he mower started on the and didn’t stop until 1 waifir^HT After about an hour I wasdiJ^p^,, sweat, grass and bugs. As I .'[.Jh the beer and looked out overtheylg^mg 1; feeling of accomplishment Philip and t strange, but I actuallyenjom,.—. 1 hope my dad doesn't read L?! migh. g.-i iIk' wrung idea *' ga\ proii' uni Kml Pallmeyer is a senior h, major and a columnist forlkpi 1 lion. Mail Call jb a love without z his outgc courtroo ness, hov lion. New prescription for South Africa r “You i natme.a says “Bu Copyright 1986, Cowles Syndicate EDITOR: The American people are such hypocrites. At home, wededa morality cannot be legislated. We resent those whom we perceivetob to impose their morality on ns. Yet in our foreign policy, wen ourselves to be crusaders commissioned to impose our moralitvoi nations who do not behave as we do. Our government was founded to secure the blessings of lib ourselves and our posterity. We elect and pay public officials toproti general welfare of our country, not to chasten other sovereign nan their supposed misdeeds. Governing our country is a full-time job; and it cannot he done properly if we are distracted with moralg against foreigners. We deceive ourselves if we think we can force other nationstodo right. We may have temporary, superficial success, hut lasdnt.e change is possible only when the erring nations themselveschooseto their ways. Though you may l>e able to compel me as an individual!; your moral standard, unless 1 choose your standard myself, 1 wilii rebel against your imposed will. Do we truly desire to see South Africa healed of the disease thaiaf We treat the sic k with care, giving them foods to nourish theirb;>: drugs to attack their sickness. South Africa has an ideological & body politic must be nourished w ith right ideas, and the diseasedc infecting it must be refuted and driven out. Promoting truthbvon and example will do much to effect this cure. Force, however * applied through economic sanctions or military interventiotyistk perscription for the healing of South Africa. by the la* and mix (fairness i treat pen treated- be. | “I feel j come to : it’s impoi WASH I that Deal ‘ ladln’s hi dump nan pttle-noti( Ben. 1.1"'' Benlse menu he; mg W'atei June, iml federal agi progi ams tionrof \\ a This \\( dksiie m I ihe Oy.ill. Brian Arthur Frederick ’87 Meaning behind the words EDITOR: Let us consider for a moment the underlying philosophial behind the phrase “Highway 6 runs Ixuli wavs." Being a non-T( not understand the true concept that the statement espouses,btni mean, rather than trv to change (lungs at I exas A&M. eveniffortlt^ leave it you don’t like them. Coming from a large (lilseral) midwestern university, whosevw lies in the cultivation of original thought, this attitude strikesmes best, and at worst, self-destructive. Those few who are trulyconctrat the continued intellectual growth of this institution mustaccepiasu the idea that constructive criticism can only benefit. If we allow tins become so incestuized by the vocal few who promote this absurdn* it is governed by one mindless, self-propogating force, then we alb in our struggle for its betterment. Conflicting ideas and the ability (and right) to state them pub elements on which the foundation of this nation rests. Mymessaf who adhere to this position is to think about what is truly thebesiapp take to heighten the stature of this University. If the conclusion bill quo is the ultimate that it can achieve, then Highway 6 actually® only one direction — down. Alan D. Propp 'Good Ags' from 'bod Ags' EDITOR: I had a friend drive down for the our extraordinary football games, yc environment here at A&M. which is we returned to his car the windshield but not nearly so much as 1 was < apologize for the behavior of a few incidents this football season. Are we with babysitters to protect visitors’ v The presence of a few out-numbe encourages the Aggie crowd to chee the unity of the school. Is our pride 1 traditions fade till they disappear? campus? God forbid. Let’s leave this fine. Baylor game who hadhearii •11 practices and, above all,tlx not offered at many school* was shattered, i was quiteeu lisappointed. i could do had Ags. This is not the fin going to have to provideapaii chicles from destruction red spectators at our yellp®- 1 ] r on its fighting team andk >eiug threatened to causetto' Are we going to becomejifl for the U1 students,tlieyre* A* Mercedes Salinas ’89 Who turns out the lights? EDITOR: I want to express my sincere appreciation to the persbnorf charge of the lights overlooking Kyle Field. They single-hand^ what well may be the most popular tradition at the world’sgre# sity! For those of us who are fortunate enough to be hand-in-P lady of our choice, those in charge of the lights make midnight'? truly enjoyable experience. I doubt that the light operators are given the credit ortherfeofj deserve, so on behalf of the A&M student body, thank you a# THE GOOD WORK! Ray McMillan ’87 Letters to the editor should not exceed 300 words in length. The editorialsiaifKH to edit letters for style and length, but will make every effort to maintain tinH Eac h letter must he signed and must include the classification, addressandltlep^ the writer.