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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Feb. 13, 1986)
Page 2/The Battalion/Thursday, February 13, 1986 Opinion Martyrs, naked kids with arrows ruined a pretty good party day If there’s a day I hate more than Christmas it’s Val entine’s Day. No, I don’t hate every holiday, as a mat ter of fact I love Ground Hog Day, but Christmas and Valentine’s Day are depressing. seems to think. He was strong and mas culine and knew how to have a good time. Now Cupid is a wimpy little boy that flies around without any clothes and bothers people with his stupid little arrows. Karl Pallmeyer For the next 1,570 years Valentine’s Day became a day to celebrate love as long as you remembered that if you showed that love too strongly you might be nailed to a tree for it. In the good old days of the Roman Empire, the Romans had a huge feast they called Lupercalia. The Romans had a good time dancing, drinking and being degenerates on this day set aside to celebrate love. Everyone had a pretty good time on this day until the Christians got involved. But then, sometime around the year 1840, a silly, romantic woman by the name of Esther A. Howland created the Valentine’s Day card. Sometime around 270 A.D., the Christians decided to put a damper on everybody’s party and changed the name of the holiday to St. Valentine’s Day in honor of a Roman Christian priest who lived a depressing life and was put to death for his beliefs. The Christian’s also changed Cupid. Cupid was the Roman version of Eros, the Greek god of love. In the early days Cupid wasn’t as innocent as everyone Once the Valentine’s Day card be came popular, there was no stopping the commercialization of Valentine’s Day. The Valentine’s Day specials should come with the warning that this much saccharine can cause cancer. The commercials that infest the television screen this time of year are so sickly sweet I feel like barfing. I guess florists love Valentine’s Day because its one of the few times they can sell flowers- for someone Who’s not dead. today’s Batt you will find ads for Valen tine’s cards, Valentine’s singers, Valen tine’s flowers, Valentine’s candy, Valen tine’s pizza, Valentine’s jewerly, Valentine’s T-shirts, Valentine’s books, Valentine’s haircuts, V alentine’s ice cream, Valentine’s mixed drinks, Valen tine’s tans, Valentine’s cupid bears, Val entine’s videos, Valentine’s telegrams, Valentine’s perfume and even Valen tine’s lingerie. Two of our cartoonists, Kevin Thomas and Scott McCullar, are spon soring Valentine’s Day card contests. A local radio station is trying to get all those struck by cupid’s arrows to stand on the astroturf at Kyle Field and smooch for Muscular Dystrophy. Com mercialization is the worst thing to hap pen to Valentine’s Day since the St. Val entine’s Day Massacre in 1929. The main reason I hate Valentine’s Day is that I usually feel a lot like Char lie Brown. I’ve yet to receive a Valentine from that cute little red-haired girl. For that matter I’ve yet to receive a Valen tine from that cute little blonde, bru nette or bald-headed girl. Even The Battalion has been swamped with Valentine’s garbage. In Karl Pallmeyer is a senior journalism major and a columnist for The Battal- It wasn’t football commissioner, but it was the next best thing Henry Kissin ger, after “careful consideration,” turned down the race for governor of New York. There are many questions left un answered. Whose idea was it to ask Kissinger to run, and why did he turn it down? “I wouldn’t mind being football com missioner, except they don’t provide you with a private plane or personal chef. I have to think of the perks.” “What state?’ The image in the mirror furrowed his forehead. “Would you like to be a net work anchorman on the evening news?” “New York State.” “New York is not a real state like Mo zambique or Tonga.” “Nevertheless it is a state and the gov ernor is its head. Art Buchwald “They could use me. Dan Rather has a terrible accent. But I would have to give up ,going to conservative cocktail parties where I am adored.” Kissinger finished shaving, put on some Brut and said to the image, “May I think about it?” It all started one morning when . . . Henry Kissinger looked in the bath room mirror and his image said, “Let’s face it, Henry, they are not going to change the Constitution to permit for eign-born citizens to become president of the United States — although there is no doubt in my mind that you are the most qualified.” The image spit some shaving soap out of its mouth. “You have to get an impor tant job, Henry. How long do you think people are going to accept you for your self?” The image beamed. “Take all the time you want. Gosh, you look beauti ful. Henry replied, “How soon they for get that it was I who opened up a gate way to China and introduced silks, spices and breadfruit to the New World.” Henry had pretty much made up his mind he would run when his wife Nancy came stomping in the bathroom waving a copy of the New York Post. "Are you going to run for governor?” Kissinger said, “I’m thinking about it.” “So?” Henry said. “You’re going to have to think of something else to keep from getting bored. Why don’t you become director general of the United Nations?” Henry shook his head. “Ted Koppel never asks the director general of the United Nations to go on ‘Nightline.’” The mirror image said, “Then why not campaign for commissioner of the National Football League? It’s the most powerful job in America. They can’t play the Super Bowl without you.” The image in the mirror said, “Don’t get discouraged just because you got a raw deal. You are not without influence. After all, you are on a first-name basis with Margaret Thatcher, Francois Mitterand, Deng Xiaoping and Oscar de la Renta.” Nancy said, “You’d better make up your mind. You have to choose between me or Albany.” Henry sighed, “There is no choice, Liebchen.” When Nancy left Henry looked sadly into the mirror and said, “I could have been a contender.” Henry blushed, “That’s nice of you to say, but I’m not going to take any old job just because I know a lot of heads of state.” His image was perplexed. “I don’t know why she is making such a big deal about Albany. She slept with \ou in Damascus.” “That’s it!” the image said, don’t you become a head of state?’ ‘Why Art Buchwald is a columnist for the Los Angeles Times Syndicate. Letters to the Editor should not exceed 300 words in length. The editorial staff resen s right to edit letters for style and length but will make every effort to maintain the id; intent. Each letter must be signed and must include the address and telephone mink the writer. A sad day in Aggieland EDITOR: To the good Ag who took my backpack: We here at Texas A&M have many long-standing traditions. Bui tradition that is held by a select few falls under the category ofVB BAD BULL. I am speaking about the taking of other persons’pro — specifically walking away with backpacks that don’t belong to you. By MA Vhen w; 'rfg Kiss”? Jf it was life's Day, i Tker up pie a ki; M. .ast yeai Jidents id mouth [e record On Feb. 5, at 1:15 p.m., I was in the main hallway of the groundfljt'S 1 ” ^ of the Memorial Student Center. Entering the mens’ room, I pui®^ ret stuffed backpack on the bookshelf, as did other people. It wasue | te Unive tended for less than five minutes. j Ipies ki Incredibly, someone had the nerve to relieve me of it. In desperate; raight I searched the farthest reaches of the MSC, including trash cans.io 1 *^ 1 avail. I notified the University Police. In detail 1 went t hi through thefe F with the officer. 1 was told this was a common occurrence. Ithree m I am out one calculus book, one aviation book and one history boa |i he ever totaling $75. Cone are several weeks of notes and homework, twoc!m be MDA books and an MPACT card, not to mention a new $30 backpack!: r<> in ol * ier paying my own way through school. I cannot afford to replace the : * )IC * proximately $100 in items that was taken. This University is known for its world-class education and theaiE sphere of being Aggies, not for criminal activities. It would beasadii in Aggieland if students had to revert to a neighborhood students: program on campus to protect their belongings. What happened to trust between fellow Ags? I would hope that those who engage in this activity take a real hr look at themselves. Because for you there are only two ways to main desk of the MSC or either direction of Highway 6! Bobby Schwager Class of’88 260-3175 ne A change of seatery EDITOR: This letter is in reference to the Lee Greenwood concert SuniM' ( night, at Rudder Auditorium. We have several complaints for i L 0 rker Town Hall. ■rasa Ho First of all the concert was poorly advertised. Or shall we say ROD I ho cla lapped ilaincloi oman vertised at all. It seems that they were too busy advertising the Amere Buck, 2 Music Tour all day Sunday and must have “forgotten” Lee Greeiw was in town Sunday night. Secondly, they forgot to mention the concert was moved from Rollie White Coliseum to Rudder Auditorium. It was to our greatdb pointment upon reaching the G. Rollie doors to find them locked, course it was already 8 p.m., which was the time we planned on arrivi because we had reserved seats — or so we thought. How wrong wewert Disappointment #3 came when we reached Rudder and the To' fhebab Hall people seemed to have gotten “confused” and seated people in front row, dead center seats. We stood in line two hours to get thesese; only to arrive finding them taken, for all we know by general admi® people. Of course, there was a slight difference in price between gene* admission and reserved seats, but this didn’t seem to phase Town then. We understand about a bit of confusion existing in the changed cation (which they failed to inform people of), but it seems to us thatihf could have come up with a slightly better plan of seating the peopleintk “I 1 111 r\'A\r\ frvr* ” ‘seats they paid for In conclusion, we hope that next time maybe Town Hall will belt organize their events. Thank you! Pamela Ulrich ’87 Brenda Rolirad ’88 The virtual dictator W< Roun Buck, w alse pol he ma tory, pc “The (ound [Volff sa aby to Wolff lave mt he and aving r “She ven wit :o come Durir Tu Volff s; William he re ernoon heriff EDITOR: The treasury of the state of Texas is once again in trouble witbi' sudden drop in crude oil prices. The price of gasoline may be low,If the revenues from the corporate taxes on oil companies in Texas be lower. It seems as if we are in for another round of budget-cutting measuii ofQ in Texas, just like we had this time last year. Governor White mayregif L Cw it his decision last week to cancel the legislative session for this fiscal yer he won’t have his cronies around to back him up or to cover hisconnivE tracks when he tries to fleece Texans. He’s a virtual dictator anyway and he needs to leach all the cash!* lange tl can from us. No doubt, too, his primary target will be the state’s pub! education system — especially the land-grant universities. Like lastyeai Why not get the jump on him, and make some extra moneyk Texas? For example, laboratory courses could be made to be worth thi credit hours instead of the usual one. The student’s cost might be high but at least the course schedule and transcript would reflect all theeffe needed to persevere in a lab William H. Clark II 2 :> WASH igressr pvision fslatio Pniry.’ ISen. I fP-JJ- |ion of I tax-e> pment Some The Battalion USPS 045 360 Member of Texas Press Association Southwest Journalism Conference The Battalion Editorial Board Editor. .MichellePo* Managing Editor Kay Mai Opinion Page Editor Loren Sit! City Editor .Jerryft!! News Editor Cathie Anders# Sports Editor Travis Tit| Editorial Policy The Battalion is a non-profit, self-supporting newspaper operated as a community service to Texas A&Mandlnt College Station. Opinions expressed in The Battalion are those of the Editorial Board or the author and do not necessarily rtptd' the opinions of Texas A&M administrators, faculty or the Board of Regents. The Battalion also serves as a laboratory newspaper for students in reporting, editing and photography classes i the Department of Communications. _ The Battalion is published Monday through Friday during Texas A&M regular semesters, except for holiday arltt amination periods. Mail subscriptions are $16.75 per semester, $33.25 per school year and $35 per full year Adsei rates furnished on request. Ir Rec Nat Our address: The Battalion, 216 Reed McDonald Building, Texas A&M University, College Station, TX 77S43. Second class postage paid at College Station, TX 77843.