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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 2, 1985)
Page 2/The Battalion/Monday, December 2, 1985 i : Opinion The real reason Yurchenko Mail Call returned to the Soviet Union By ART BUCHWALD The spy community in Washington is talking of nothing else but the turnabout of Soviet spy Vitaly Yurchenko. Only a few months ago he was the CIA’s prize Soviet canary. Then, without warning, he turned up at the Russian Embassy and announced he was going home. Forget his story about being drugged and kidnapped. The truth is that Yur chenko was not tortured but was badly handled by the CIA. It was not Vitaly’s love tor the motherland that drove him back to Moscow, but rather his disen chantment with the American way of life. This is what happened. Yurchenko, while in Rome, was persuaded to detect by a CIA agent who offered the KCB officer wine, women and song, not necessarily in that order. “Sing to us, clear Yurchenko,” the CIA man said, “and we promise you riches beyond your dreams: a safe house, $1 million in cash, a gold American Express Card and a free trip to Hawaii for two, ground tt anspoi tation and gratuities not included.". Yurchenko, who alway s wanted to see Hawaii, accepted the offer. He was im mediately flown to Langley, Va., to be debriefed and tested for AIDS. As for his million dollars, the CIA people said they would invest it for him in a good tax shelter 1 lien the counterespionage boys went to work. "Sing to us, Vitaly, sing to us the names of moles and double agents and spies who are still out in the cold.” Yur chenko started to sing in a beautiful bari tone that only great Soviet defectors pos sess. All went well until Yurchenko deman ded the safe house he was promised. A CIA real estate agent took him out to the Virginia countryside. They drove up to a dirty, gray, weather-beaten cabin with broken windows, rotting stairs and a large hole in the roof. “What’s sate about this house?” Yur chenko said. “The KCB would never think of look ing for you here. We’ll let you buy it for $500,000.” “Why should 1 pay for a house?” “We always make our defectors pay for their safe houses. The CIA is not in business for its health,” replied the agent. “Look, we’re not taking advantage of you because you’re a dirty commie traitor. Every house in Virginia sells for $500,000.” Yurchenko bought the shack from the CIA and received an advance of $150,000 to fix it up. Unfortunately just when he got the house the way he wanted it the KGB found out where he lived and burned it down on Halloween. Yurchenko escaped out the back window and three hours later arrived at CIA headquarters shaking. He demanded his money be re turned since the house wasn’t safe at all. The matter went as high as the director of the Covert Real Estate Division, who told him that the Central Intelligence Agency had a firm policy. As long as the house was safe when the CIA sold it to a defector, the agency was not responsible for the KGB burning it later on. Yurchenko was hurt and confused. The CIA put him up in a Holiday Inn and said, “Sing, Yurchenko, and you’ll find a BMW in front of your door and a girl like the one in the Calvin Klein ads.” So Yurchenko sang some more. He still would be singing today if the CIA had not made one tremendous blunder. They had invested the rest of Vitaly’s money in a Maryland savings and loan. When Yurchenko went to make a with drawal the cashier told him they had run out of money and slammed down the window in his face. Enraged, the spy returned to Langley and confronted Bill Casey. The director said there was nothing he could do. “The CIA has no intelligence as to which sav ings and loan banks are solvent and which ones aren’t. If you had come to me earlier I would have tipped you off on some good stocks.” That did it for Yurchenko. Since he was wiped out he decided to return to Moscow and face the music. His last words as he boarded the plane were, “I don’t want to live in a country where your savings aren’t insured by the FDIC.” An Buchwald is a columnist for the La)s Angeles rimes Syndicate. A/AftGUUES ©WSHWSTDNPeSr United Feature Syndicate Letter to readers What makes a Battalion editor? By RHONDA SNIDER The question most asked of me this semester has been, “How is The Batta lion editor selected?” Since applications are due today, it’s a good time to answer that question. The Student Publications Board has the job of selecting editors for The Batta lion and the Aggieland. The board meets each spring to choose The Battalion summer and fall editors and the Aggie land editor, and meets again in the fall to The Battalion US PS 045 3t>0 NU miIh i ot 1 c\;is Puss Asvh iation iiliui-.i |onrnaliMii < '.ontciciui The Battalion Editorial Board Rhonda Snider. E(lih>r Mil iii-lie 1’owe, Mniwtfm# Editor l.oien Sicdlv, Opinion Editor Knien Bloch, City Editor John liallett. Kav Mallett, Sews Editors 1 l av is 1 ingle. Sports Editor Editorial Policy / he It., n/K'l d/iort is n non /no/ii. self suupiti ting new spu- pci npci.ncii .i- ;i coninumfn svivice lo Texas A&M mid hi \ .ui-( < •liege St.inon. (ipitiiutis e\ptessed in I he hutl.tlion me those ol the l.dmnuil ho,nd ot the mnhot ,tnd do tun necessmily tep- u sent the o})itiit i" ol I es.ts .\&\t mlministrmors, lucultv ot the llojnl ol Keiicnts. I he li.d'i ilion also serves as a laboratory newspaper for students in refuniini’. editing; and photography classes within the neiiurttncni ol ('.oininiinications. !he han.titon is published Monday through Friday <hn mg 11 \as \XM uvular semesters, except for holiday and esmuiiution' pet inds Mail suhsc riplitnis ate Sid. 75 jH’t 'Cinestei. T'i.l.Vj per school sear and 5,‘L> pet full 11 ,tt \t/t et using t ales furnished cm ) ec/ucst. Out addiess: I he battalion, 21b Reed McDonald Buihling. I e\as AX M L 'uixersity. College Station, I X rr.sM ' Sec ond cla. *Pc stage paid at ('allege Station, TX 77843. choose a Battalion editor for the spring. The seven-member board is made up of three students, three faculty members and one administrator. The student members are appointed by the student body president, who appointed himself this year. The head of the journalism department. Dr. Edward J. Smith, is also head of the board. He is a non-voting member, except in case of a tie. These members review candidates’ applications and interview the appli cants. I expect about five people to apply for editor this semester. Tuesday the board will meet to inter view the candidates. After each candi date has met with the board, the mem bers will vote and a new editor will be selected. Those who apply for editor of The Battalion must meet certain qualifica tions: a 2.0 overall GPR which must be maintained during the term in office; at least one year of experience in a respon sible editorial position on The Battalion or a comparable student newspaper or at least one year of experience on a com mercial newspaper or at least 12 hours of journalism including Journalism 203 and 303 or the equivalent; the 12 hours must include completion of or enroll ment in Jouralism301 (Communications Law) or the equivalent. The editor will serve for one semester, and must re-apply if desiring to serve as editor for another semester. The Batta lion spring editor will serve the last week or two of this semester through April 25. Letters to the Editor should not exceed 3UU words in length. The editorial staff rfsentm . right to edit letters lot style and length but will nuke every et fort to maintain l/ie JilkiPy b ■— intent. Each letter must be signed and must include the addiess and telephone mwilxrtl%' Stall the writer. The Texas A& propriated $3. xas A&M’s pn h u ni a n i t i No limits for God ttaeology in a I lay. EDITOR: B he board a In his letter dated Wed., Nov. 20, Mark Sheppard expounded bneil)or^^ s e b | r |^ l I | U ^. d his view of cults. 1 quote him hci c as w nting. " 1 o anume ! eall\ seeking R es e ai -di ii uth. I in oimm-ntl undei standing the culls . . . which lakes die shroudoiR the $3.7 n of these groups and exposes them for what they really are: perversionsariirom the Availat distortions of Biblical ( In isianity.” jngmeering will 'he Available Ui Sheppard, perhaps the extent of such words as “pervei sions’’ .md'dwjyiw from inves lions” escapes you. Or, can it ever be that the God you worship can and" tK ? 6 '' 0111116111 I only love (how should I put this?) YOUR doctrine of religious expression: u 1 sk 1 sk Mr. Sheppard. How can vou, a ineie human, put suih pmltL-j^ §400 (gg limits Oil that which has no limits — namely God? irNautic al An I Perhaps sir, the true distortions are in youi selfish attitudes ubom U j00,()0(). and the sad perversions are your attitudes tow at iK those who tecognizeW^sident Frar in His limitless manifestations. Frank M. Hale Jr. ’88 Stay home Dotl A&M Typically, editors serve for only one semester, because they have the strange habit of graduating, which is what I’ll be doing Dec. 13. Another bit of trivia about past Batta lion editors: The last eight Battalion edi tors (over the past four years) all have been women. Bill Robinson was selected to serve as editor for the Fall ’84 semes ter, hut died from injuries sustained in a car accident before he officially took over. The last man to serve a full semes ter as editor was Dillard Stone, editor from May 1980-April 1981. Whether its a man or a woman selected on Tuesday, one thing’s for sure, their first task will be one of their most difficult. Before the new editor takes over he or she will have selected the entire spring Battalion staff of 50 or so people. And their second task will be equally as difficult working out a budget of salaries to pay that staff. Staff members are paid per issue that they work. Salar ies currently range from $33 per issue for the editor and managing editor to nothing for editorial assistants who volunteer their time. The new editor’s next big task will be to lead the new staff in putting out the last newspapers of the semester. I wish the best of luck to all those who will be trying for editor, and I wish a heap of success to the new editor in approaching his or her new' tasks. By JEAN N Re EDITOR: Dear Loren Steffy : I We are tired of the backseat-driver tvpe journalists who make stro When Texas opinions about something tlie\ know \t i\ little about, like you. ubum in the C Why should you he so judgemental about what ot/ier people at 1;:^^ University do when we usualh don't mind that a highh < pinion,ued.ii ; ;JLi,, rOW-thinded person such .is your sell can put youi imcdiu aled .issuinpiio&tfheCotton Be in a place w here thousands of people can read and be at tec led by them Hess from ea It seems that vou c ame bet e as mans othei people have to get <1 higlitiMetence sch< education and get a step up in the w ot Id 1 here is nothing wrong withllsHf eam Texas A&M is merely a stepping stone for those who choose it tobe.butfaR^jlj^ 16 * those who want to make being an Aggie an extracurricular education as nd neermg major as a life time experience, A&M still has at least one tradition that anyone* 0 sen from 62 become very involved with. Univei Bonfire is like nothing you have ever experienced in your life. I hajmpe Southw never heard or read anything negative about bonfire f rom amouodioli ^ u . rscla y’ l^ 111 E..:u »StlliK Cotton ( given part of their time to help build it. Being the Cot C Either you are the first or you have never given any of your precious a q )U Why don’t you leave things that you know nothing about alone, lubr^ attention i obvious that bonfire is not a “waste” of your time or a “waste” of youreffoiieen, says Jan so if you’re going to have bad feelings about bonfire, I suggest that vher dtiyities advise burns, you stay home. H Q l D&ble tor cn Rob Spiller S|i A&M. Bill Carson He impress :xas A&M ts t jtopl,” Banfie In need of correction ic level at A&I FDITOR Haliber ol p I don’t normally respond to letters to the editor, but a number of misco:j ceptions in the letter of Mark Barbieri and Matthew Sullivan (Battalion,Noil 26) cry out for correction. I It is hardly “deceptive” or “inaccurate” to suggest that a liberal aC background can lead to corporate success. A series of articles in Business Reviewo\er the past few years has repeatedly shown thatmanafT in Fortune 500 companies of ten begin their education with a solid training! the liberal arts. That’s not to say that there’s anything wrong with tedmit; training; it’s just that practice in reading, writing, and thinking can keep# “X JOH 1 ' from becoming a “bean counter,” as Lee lacocca, one of my favorite™ * gineers, puts it. With Thanks ily turkey sa I have a feeling that the real issue is the last sentence of Barbieri#!* hi 16 to thi Sullivan’s letter: “We guess liberal arts is desperate for people.” I teach in Santa liberal arts departments and I’m hardly desperate for students. Overenf ment forced me to turn people away from both of my regularly schedu/f,j| t h e classes this semester, and I took on in addition a private study in Biiieei by sponst Greek because my students asked for it. And lest anyone think my expttMing cerem ence atypical, the Registrar’s office tells me that the College of Engineer n >ght. (Mr. Barberieri’s home turf) lost 37 students from 1984 to 1985 whileiDp? ceremoi College of Liberal Arts gained 1040 majors during the same period.!^ Rj ann< Liberal Arts Faculty Council discussed setting up an enrollment manafm^, evening ment policy last spring, hut we’re going to try to keep up with thedeiPgiightingofi without doing anything that drastic. I have a feeling that as A&M mo' the park. T1 toward its “world class” status, its students are learning that there atesevf® the depar equally valid ways to succeed. fSceremony. As Ann Landers would put it : Messrs. Barbieri and Sullivan, wakeupU smell the coffee! Craig Kaliendorf Departments of English and Modern Languages itat€ Cults hard to define Assoc SAN ANTO! tconipanv thi an founded i 1 years ago f l didn’t write before; I will now. Mark Sheppard’s (Nov. 20) letter aid §[? EDITOR: recent Battalion report list “ES I ” and “Zen Buddhism” among a lengtFState District /■•xr'rro rt 1'•/o c v/al 1 m/\i» e ec» y-'L* o 00 ‘‘/■•iilto ” A ||' fl’lLlSt (l* $J r ‘ Id, reduce or Rhonda Snider is a senior journalism major and editor for The Battalion. of organizations, religious and otherwise, characterized as “cults.” loosely considered by these writers as (something like) an “alternative “basically alien religion” incompatible with the dominant religion ofapJ |, j| 1 I ^. iat 1 cular culture. Without wishing to attach such importance to any such rary, invidious distinctions, I would like to offer the following. ^ Pennzoi Eastern Standard Time (EST) is not a cult, and the est organize 1 ^ operates in several other times zones as well. Graduates of est trainingaf^ j, e a | so m on very little about that training (blind agreement being one of the stig%e or redui of a cult). The list of est graduates includes clergymen (in dominanitfal as much gions; I’m not sure if Catholics and Jews count), authors, educators,i |ou >R the academics. Most would disagree that est is a cult. Many could agreethaK#^” ^ nothing in particular. The same is true of, say, four years of college. l a | the ca ‘ t Zen Buddhism is a branch oLBuddhism, which has been a majors! .7^ 1S no religion much longer (c. 500 BCE) than Protestant Christianity (c. 150® ^ North American Fundamentalism (c. 1900). Buddhism is the domin ^ cor j religion in several Asian nations (for example, Sri Lanka). Zen inpartiOnes Kinnear has exercised extraordinary influence on the history and cultureofjaf day. Thecoi Zen continues to flourish in many centers in the United States sincf Mae of $« introduction here in the early part of this century. Zen exists at Texashad t< as a manifestation of College Station’s place in the wor ld community I- gha). “Spring comes, the grass grows by itself.” tjbni 0 Light Other cultists are encourages to make their views known. |l(of$I2 b all legal Steven M. Carr Including stake, lie