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( Page 2/The Battalion/Monday, November 7,1983 Ur EV » sc l f ee id £ l a nt . 1 D’F il t! I ( I I opinion Breakthroughs in personal computers by Art Buchwald My Aunt Pauline knows I own a per sonal computer. So she came over to the house the other night and said, “I under stand with those machines you can break into other computers and tell them to do things.” “It’s not that easy. Aunt Pauline,” I said. “I know there are a lot of stories in the newspapers that kids have been doing it, and you probably saw ‘War Games.’ But you have to be awfully lucky with the code word before the other computer will talk to yours. Why do you bring up the subject?” “I want you to get into the Sears Roebuck computer and tell it I already paid for the slipcovers they keep billing me for every month.” “That’s a tall order,” I said. “And while you’re at it, give me $50 credit for all the anguish and agony I’ve suffered trying to straighten it out.” “I’ll try,” I said. I turned on my machine and dialed into the system. Then I asked her, “What code word do you think they would use for people who don’t pay their bills?” “Try DEADBEAT,” she suggested. I typed in DEADBEAT. “Any luck?” she asked. “No, but I think I broke into the com puter at the International Monetary Fund. I better try another code name.” “Wait! As long as you’re in the Interna tional Monetary Fund why don’t you can cel Mexico’s foreign debt? I’m going there this winter and it would be nice if they weren’t so worried about money.” “I can’t just cancel Mexico’s debt or the IMF books won’t balance. I have to give it to another country.” “So give it to Marcos. He deserves it for what he did to the opposition in Manila.” “Okay. I just put Mexico’s debt in the Philippine account. Now Marcos owes the IMF $120 billion. Let’s get back to Sears Roebuck. You have any other code words their charge people might use?” “Try BLOOD,” she suggested. “That doesn’t seem to be it. I just hooked into the Internal Revenue Ser vice.” “Good. Tell it to give John McEnroe a personal audit. Maybe that will teach him to behave better on the tennis court.” “Anything you say, Aunt Pauline. Now let’s feed in the password MONEY. Oh boy, now I’ve done it. I just broke into the CBS payroll computer.” “No kidding,” Aunt Pauline said. “How much does Dan Rather make?” I typed in the question. “It says $1,200,000 a year.” She whistled. “Just for reading the news? How much does Diane Sawyer get?” “The computer has her down for $500,000.” Aunt Pauline was furious. “She’s get ting less because she’s a woman. Tell the computer to take $350,000 off Dan’s sal ary and give it to Diane.” “Dan will go up the wall when he gets his next paycheck.” “Tough,” she said. “Someone has to strike a blow for equal pay between the sexes on television.” “I’ve done it. But we still haven’t solved your Sears Roebuck problem.” “Try the password SLIPCOVERS just for a long shot.” I did and found myself talking to the U.S. Navy’s master computer in the Mediterranean. When I told Aunt Pauline where we were she became very excited. “Let’s give Colonel Kaddafi a bloody nose.” “Now look,” I said. “Giving Diane Sawyer a raise is one thing. But I’m not about to start a war for the hell of it.” “Your cousin Milton always said your Apple was all talk.” “Look, I don’t think we’re going to break into the Sears Roebuck computer tonight, and I could get in trouble for this.” “Do me one more favor before you turn off your system. Get into the Social Security computer.” “What for?” “I want to tell the girls at my bridge game how old Raquel Welch really is.” Letters: Gay reaction On gay exclusion Editor: We’d like to applaud M. Weaver for the well-thought out and sympathetic re joinder made to the misguided student - who thought she could be both an Aggie and gay (obviously incompatible). The pairings of “integrity, pride in one’s school, ridicule and talking behind one’s back,” along with “I know you can’t help it — but change it anyway,” are liter ary coups reminiscent of similar history making associations such as “nordic su periority, supremacy and extinction.” We have no reason to believe that it is not written somewhere that the pre condition. of hormonal balance exists, if one is to become an Aggie. We admit to being remiss in spotting and pledging to memory reference to this in the rules and regulations and humbly submit that our ignorance does not negate the existance of such rules. Research into possible genetic or hor monal causes of homosexuality should be encouraged by all Aggies, for obvious reasons. When such research is per fected, we normal Aggies can keep our niche sacrosanct by screening all incom ing freshmen and, as suggested by M. Weaver, send all those with genetic aber rations (the blind, deaf, physically dis abled, sensorally impaired), hormonal imbalances or anything else considered abnormal at Texas A&M to t.u. This will help to ensure that t.u.’s reputation will grow as a haven for the diverse, with the resultant loss of homogeneity (chracteris- tic of the conservatism we pride ourselves on at Texas A&M). But, rest assured Aggies, our reputation will remain intact. Coni Weeker ’83 Marian Paul ’84 Valorie Greer ’84 Find out about gays Editor: Q: What do you call two queers on roller skates? A: Roll-AIDS Q: What do you call two cancer victims on a skateboard? A: The average person would prob ably call that two people out making the most out of life. Maybe the comparison is a little dra matic but the point is worth contemplat ing. In speaking for myself, I don’t find all jokes in reference to the gay lifestyle bothersome. Some are funny, some aren’t. After all what is an Aggie joke? Aggies are not offended by some Aggie jokes,- they just tend to not laugh at those parti cular jokes which they may find deroga tory or ill-humored. In general, the same holds true for gay people. Gay people are at least, if not more, as proud of their sexuality as a heterosexual person. Time is a valuable asset. If one is to expend time proclaiming their narrow minded opinion of gay people, perhaps they might more constructively use their time discovering what gay people have done for their country. Maybe this would open your eyes. Why waste your time making fun of people? It just doesn’t make sense. According to sound economic theory, one cannot be made worse off by increasing his or her choices or possibilities. Are not people who are gay merely optimizing on their alternatives? Why should it matter to you if your professor or neighbor or landlord pre fers someone of the same or opposite sex? I wouldn’t think that gay people would make society less democratic, cultured, knowledgeable, technologically adv anced or productive. Being gay does not make those who are not gay worse off. Gay people still pay property taxes to fi nance the education of children of heter osexual parents. Gay political activists do less to increase aggregate taxation than do the vast ma jority of other political coalitions. They do not ask for college funding or food stamps because of their minority status. Gay people do less to increase the overall level of proces in the economy than does the United Steel Workers, National Edu cation Association, or the United Auto Workers. What costs does a person’s being gay impose upon those who are not? I do not ask for nor do I desire sym pathy in any form, only the equality that I am entitled to as a U.S. citizen. Every individual will face ridicule about some thing at one point in their life; but aren’t self-criticism and self-doubt hard enough to deal with? Because other groups on campus are harassed, does this warrant “equal time” criticism? I don’t see any benefit to it, only costs in terms of wasted time and other nonproductive factors. Why not the welcome novelty, diversity, and a melting pot of ideas and actions among our population? Gayness is no new concept or fad. It existed before the time of our forefathers, and it was not something that made us a “loser” society then. L. White Dr. Jer pend th aching al as recei\ ach Ame omhsati t Sorboni Loving angary 1! e will te; merican Loving nvitation l ity from Democratic party may benefit from Jackson presidential bid ligher edi “Then jrocess hrough b moving sai >e normn; hrough 2 _ igh intil they hey will a France :ountry L by Clay F. Richards United Press International WASHINGTON — For nearly three and a half hours last Thursday Jesse Jackson and his supporters kept more than 2,500 supporters enthralled as the black civil rights leader announced he was running for president. “Run, Jesse, run,” echoed and re echoed throughout the Washington Con vention Center in what was as much a revival meeting as a political rally. The enthusiasm of the largely black audience surpassed any that Walter Mon dale, John Glenn or any of the other Democratic candidates has been able to stir up in this campaign. It was the same response Jackson sparked across the nation this summer as he used his voter registration drive as a means of exploring whether he would run for president. Jackson pledged he will take his mes sage not just to the black ghettoes of the North or to poor blacks in the rural South, but to Indian resevations, barrios in the Southwest, senior citizens’ homes and everywhere else there are poor and forgotten Americans. It is too early to tell how successful Jackson will be in winning votes and dele gates. The polls now show him at 5 per cent or 6 percent and most of that comes from the black community. But make no mistake, Jackson is a serious candidate. He is in this race to prove that a black running for president is the most natural thing in the world. And by doing so, he will continue to change the attitudes the public has about blacks running for office at all levels — a process started by the growing number of black mayors like Tom Bradley in Los Angeles and Andy Young in Atlanta. Jackson’s campaign will have a major impact on the Democratic Party and the other candidates as well. There are suggestions he will take a vote that would otherwise go to front runner Walter Mondale, and thus the more moderate Democratic contender, John Glenn, will benefit. But there is another schoolofe^ that Jackson won’t take ni u anyone, because his supports from those who never took par. political process. The numbers Jackson usesfon Lv-/ V ters he would like to add to the Unitec two dozen key states in each case: WASHI to more voles than K< maid ReaptQghoat Ik gin of victory in those states. ’° v ' et atta Those elgible voters — *f$ atl signed up and do vote — represefg™ 1 ^ bers bigger than the margin ofv a dozen Republican senators. a jd iff >een stra So even if he doesn’t win any pn ll. Cr or end up with many delegatesaid it is a ‘ Jackson’s candidacy could have he destin found effect on the Americanf Navy s scene. i.S. frig; He could well tip the political ul31 / iarin ! in this nation and the resu l ts wotj^ c c ^ e c Democratic Senate and a Democr^ area be he white — in the White Hoiiii uc | ear .p But that would leave the Deirame disa Party with an awful big debtti The ( Jackson. narine w >atrol pla 0 11 A seen un< mce sine tence tra Is it red-shirting or dunce-capping: ..-. i’eterson, merit pay accorded faculty members of learning to make passing gradesreconnais outstanding ability. by Dick West United Press International WASHINGTON — There has been a great deal of hoopla this fall about red- shirting athletes. In the event you aren’t familiar with the term, be advised that red-shirting in its purest form involves stretching out a student’s academic career to promote his athletic career. Typically, a student of promise on the playing fields is red-shirted, or held out of athletic competition, for one year. That gives him an extra season in which to sharpen his skills and mature physically for the greater glory of Alma Mater. The next year, he may advance a class academically but he still has all of his athletic eligibility remaining. In college, nobody pays much atten tion to the practice. However, some edu cators are frowning on red-shirting at the high school and junior high levels. In the long ago, when I was attending public schools, red-shirting even in the elementary grades was quite common. Only back then we called it flunking out. Some players on my high school foot ball team had red-shirted themselves as early as the second grade. By the time they finally made it to high school, they were a couple of years bigger and stronger than they would have been otherwise. No question about it — athle tically, they had something of an advan tage over their more studious peers. Even educational reformers, I gather, are against promoting students until they have mastered the curriculum at their current levels. But nitwit red-shirting could put athletic programs on a collision course with efforts to improve academic standards. Poor scholarship, as indicated by a high rate of failures in a given grade, reflects adversely on the teacher as well as the student. Any teacher with a high per centage of red-shirts in the classroom might have a tough time qualifying for My advice to educators who are con cerned about the academic ramifications is to try red-shirting teachers. Teachers known for their ability to im part knowledge could be provided with red shirts, which would serve as a warn ing that marginal students might in advertently be crammed with enough they neglected their homework, mue m Potential athletes interested in ^ a A ne z in school an extra year could thr jU M ’ in the classes of second rateteadif would leave their heads moreorh cluttered with erudition. But I don’t know whether the!':. Education Association would £ such a program. Po be The Battalion USPS 045 360 Memtvr ot Texas Press Association Southwest Journalism Conference Thefi reported Departm THE! • A bl cle from i Center b Editor Hope E. Paasch Managing Editor Beverly Hamilton City Editor Kelley Smith Assistant City Editor Karen Schrimsher Sports Editor Melissa Adair Entertainment Editor.... Rebeca Zimmermann Assistant Entertainment Editor Shelley Hoekstra News Editors Brian Boyer, Kathy Breard, Kevin Inda, Tracey Taylor, Chris Thayer, Kathy Wiesepape Photo Editor Eric Evan Lee Staff Writers Robin Black, Brigid Brockman, Bob Caster, Ronnie Crocker, Elaine Engstrom, Kari Fluegel, Tracie Holub, Bonnie Langford, John Lopez, Kay Denise Mallett, Christine Mallon, Michelle Powe, Stephanie Ross, Angel Stokes, Steve Thomas, John Wagner, Karen Wallace, Wanda Winkler Copy Editors Kathleen Hart, Susan Talbot Cartoonists Paul Dirmeyer, Scott McCullar Photographers Michael Davis, John Makely, Dave Scott, Dean Saito, Cindi Tackitt „ • A bl The Battalion also serves as a laboiaton » f rom tor students in reporting, editing and t ses within the Department o/ Questioits or comments concerning q matter should he directed to the editor- floor gyr let conta Texas di Letters Policy Letters to the F.dilor should not exceed 3 jj|| length, and are subject to being cut d * A The editorial stall reserves the tight toed 1 1 Underw style and length, but will make ever el tori I' 1 " the author's intent. 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