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v Page 2/The Battalion/Wednesday, August 3, 1983 opinion Senate not envied by House by Steve Gerstel United Press International WASHINGTON — The assumption has always been that an ambitious youn ger member of the House of Representa tives, given even half a chance, will gam ble and shoot for the U.S. Senate. Members of the Senate come from all walks, in and out of politics, and the House has always been considered a fer tile breeding ground. But now comes a study by the Amer ican Enterprise Institute, edited by John F. Bibby, that dispels the notion that House members are panting to get to the Senate. The study, titled “Congress off the Record: the Candid Analysis of Seven Members,” found only one who express ed any interest in running for the Senate and the rest had some harsh words for what they call the “other body” or worse. The members, who were not identi fied to secure the “most free-wheeling and candid discussions possible,” were four Republicans and three Democrats, all elected in 1978. All were re-elected in 1980 but two were defeated in 1982. One of the more interesting parts of the study showed the low regard that House members — or at least these seven — showed for the Senate and its mem bers. “The Senate is a zoo,” one said. “I have no interest in the Senate. The Senate is all personality dependent. “It’s people who shave the face of the next president every morning,” the con- gressperson said. “That is just ridiculous. I have no interest in being in the Senate.” This member of Congress conceded senators only two advantages — getting calls returned by White House chief of staff Jim Baker and getting on network television. “That’s the maximum a senator can do that I can’t do,” this one said. Another flatly stated, “I’ve never liked senators. Those folks don’t know much and they’re not very competent.” members A third complained, “They are spread so thin that they can’t hold a candle to House members in terms of substance. “Their egos are very big. I think there is a certain pompousness there, pompos ity, that I find very difficult to accept.” Some of these complaints are legiti mate. There certainly are pompous, big- ego and incompetent senators. The same goes for the House. And it’s true that senators are spread thin and they are probably not versed as well on some issues. Yet, there is a suspicion that this group of congressmen, or those who teed off on the Senate, may not reflect the general feeling. Although it is more than 15 months before the next elections, five members of the House have already opted to risk their seats and run for the Senate. They include Reps. Tom Corcoran, R-Ill., Tom Harkin, D-Iowa, Albert Gore, D-Tenn., Paul Simon, D-Ill., and Norm D’Amour, D-N.H. There may be more. In addition, governors, seeking another step on the political ladder, do not run for the House. They run for the Senate. And senators, never, never give up their coveted seats to run for the House. They retire, run for president, accept vice presidential nominations or die. The only truly serious presidential candidate to run for the presidency from the House in many years was Rep. Morris Udall of Arizona who gave Jimmy Carter a decent race in 1976. Others have mounted nuisance cam paigns and former Rep. John Anderson of Illinois led a third party effort in 1980 and will do so again in 1984. But as usual, the presidential candi dates are in the Senate — Mondale, Glenn, Cranston, Hart and Hollings. The exception is Reubin Askew, a former Florida governor. All in all, there must be something about the Senate that has escaped those who participated in the AEI study. Reagan’s spokesman expecting promotion by Helen Thomas United Press International WASHINGTON — Backstairs at the White House: Presidential spokesman Larry Speakes is shortly expected to be prom oted to rank of assistant to the president, but he will retain the title of principal deputy press secretary. Speakes has been in charge of the White House press office since press sec retary James Brady was wounded in the assassination attempt on President Reagan March 30, 1981. Brady is making strides in his recovery and shows up in his office on Friday mornings to work on his mail from de voted fans. As far as the president is concerned, the title remains with Brady as long as he wants it. Speakes has had to be nimble-footed and tight-lipped in recent days, fielding tough questions on the use of President Carter’s filched debate briefing papers by the Reagan camp, on the military buil dup in Central America and other touchy issues that cross his desk each day. He has managed to man the barri cades and be the voice of the White House while passing muster with person nel chief John Herrington, who scruti nized his operation. *** White House chief of staff James Bak er was able to walk in where others feared to tread. Despite the spotlight of some what negative publicity on government officials attending the exclusive all-male Bohemian Grove weekend gathering in California, Baker was one White House official who did show up. But Baker flew to California on a com- merical airliner, paying his own way. The hullabaloo was over Defense Sec retary Caspar Weinberger and other Pentagon officials flying to Calif ornia for the Bohemian Club weekend on a gov ernment plane. Weinberger planned to visit a Navy supply depot while in the vicinity, but that did not ease criticism and he canceled the trip. White House counselor Edwin Meese was already on the West Coast attending to personal affairs and did not join the annual gathering. The Battalion USPS 045 360 Member ol Texas Press Association Southwest Journalism Conference Editor Hope E. Paasch City Editor Kelley Smith Sports Editor John Wagner News Editors Daran Bishop, Brian Boyer, Beverly Hamilton, Tammy Jones Staff Writers Robert McGlohon, Karen Schrimsher, Angel Stokes, joe Tindel Copyeditors Kathleen Hart, Beverly Hamilton Cartoonist Scott McCullar Photographers Brenda Davidson, Eric Evan Lee, Barry Papke Editorial Policy The Battalion is a non-profit, self-supporting news paper operated as a community service to Texas A&M University and Bryan-College Station. Opinions ex pressed in The Battalion are those of the editor or the author, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Texas A&M University administrators or faculty mem bers, or of the Board of Regents. The Battalion also serves as a laboratory newspaper for students in reporting, editing and photography clas ses within the Department of Communications. Questions or comments concerning any editorial mat ter should be directed to the editor. Letters Policy Letters to the Editor should not exceed 300 words in length, and are subject to being cut if they are longer. The editorial staff reserves the right to edit letters for style and length, but will make every effort to maintain the author’s intent. Each letter must also be signed and show the address and telephone number of the writer. Columns and guest editorials also are welcome, and are not subject to the same length constraints as letters. Address all inquiries and correspondence to: Editor, The Battalion, 216 Reed McDonald, Texas A&M Uni versity, College Station, TX 77843, or phone (409) 845- 2611. The Battalion is published Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday during both Texas A&M regular summer sessions, except for holiday and examination periods. Mail subscriptions are $16.75 per semester, $33.25 per school year and $35 per full year. Advertising rates furnished on request. Our address: The Battalion, 216 Reed McDonald Building, Texas A&M University, College Station, TX 77843. United Press International is entitled exclusively to the use for reproduction of all news dispatches credited to it. Rights of reproduction of all other matter herein reserved. Second class postage paid at College Station, TX 77843. r a by Tim V Battalion Bright red h loon as the pr< in College Stati porarily. | Several local painted the tow industrial firefi; town this wee and field train Texas A&M School. I The Fire Pri H)ivision at Tex: three firefigh municipal firef industrial firef and a progra ■peaking firefij When not Braining, the f Pre soli Political dilemma developes by Gwynetl Battalioi The solutior Will Spain stay in NATO? by Barry James United Press International MADRID, Spain — The Socialist gov ernment of Prime Minister Felipe Gon zalez is faced with an embarrassing poli tical dilemma over Spain’s membership in the North Atlantic Treaty Organiza tion. The United States and other allies want Gonzalez to make Spain an effective member of the 16-nation alliance. But grassroots opinion at home favors withdrawal from NATO, which Spain joined in May 1982 under its previous center-coalition government. The Socialists halted plans for military integration after winning office in October. “If a vote were taken today on whether to stay in or come out, there’s little doubt most people would opt to come out,” So cialist Party spokesman Pedro Bofill said in an interview. Gonzalez announced while in Washington in June that he will fulfill a Socialist Party campaign promise to hold a referendum on the issue, and a date will be set in the first half of 1985. The pragmatic prime minister is not opposed personally to NATO member ship. In West Germany in May, he ex pressed understanding for NATO’s deci sion to begin deployment of 572 new nuclear missiles at the end of this year. He said recently he hoped “the Span ish people will come to see the advantages of belonging to NATO. If that is the case it would be welcome.” Yet he has also said the government will remain neutral in the referendum campaign, while the Socialist Party likely will be banging the drum for withdrawal. “I t seems as though the executive pow er is sinking into a sea of contradictions,” the newspaper El Pais said. Emotionally, there’s a tendency here to link the NATO issue with Spain’s long- delayed application to join the European Common Market, and the question of the sovereignty of Gibraltar, the British col ony on Spain’s southern coast. “How can we sell the idea of belonging “It a vote were taken today on whether to stay in or come out, there’s little doubt most people would opt to come out.” — So cialist Party spokesman Pedro Bonn in Israel will bt ■ep. Bill Presi fcturned Iron trip there, said I The 10- da k>red by the A Hve Exchange bership ol the alliance confers:;. World Zionis benefits. Hine state legis For example, while norlheb rent states par pean countries have based theii® p resna i sa i { i almost entirely around the l: ence th at israe attack by the .Soviet Union. • use of land anc equally concerned about thepo; He said that Is conflict with its southern aBlof the area ii Morocco, against which thel' n 8 dispi ill ii i area, and the would be no help. , , •„ 1 he Moroccans claim theK, cause of thi: North African enclaves ol UM As an exan Melilla. Ban is buying < Membership in NATO alsoB an alliance with Britain, whij acceptable so long as the Gibrii festers. to NATO, if we have no understanding from our allies,” Bofill said. “They want us in NATO but not in the Common Market. They expect us to stay cooking in the kitchen, and they deny us a place at the banquet table.” There is no indication, however, the Common Market question will be re solved in time to influence the referen dum. And following its Falklands victory last year, Britain seems in no mood to compromise on Gibraltar. Spain’s defenses are based on a 1954 bilateral treaty with the United States t hat continues regardless of the country’s status within NATO. Many Spaniards cannot see that mem- United Pre MUSKOGE al prosecutor smuggling sus one from Tex But as the government is realize, there are persuasive why Spain should remain in W| fully cooperating member. Military participation in the likely to speed efforts to make' more professional and less poll provide an outlet for careero[fs| f e( i era i g ran( might otherwise engage in plot duled to go tc Spain was barred from NAlp The men,; after the death of dictator i; eral author Franco in 1975. It joined the all® ore than year in what NATO Secretanf coca ' ne at a Joseph Funs described as“agreJ| ere to ^ e arr Europe, for the alliance andW' sd C°“ rt wo ~l " I Jailed wert I he occasion was seen as anii: za '24, anc j ^ symbol of Spain's welcome inw' 44, both of M ly of Western democracies, ^ith conspira Conversely, withdrawal fn state to prom might be seen as a political st: vity; and M only for the alliance, but forSpai gelhart, 26, charged v Good massages are hard to find :ocaine. Also arre: Andrew Sebo accused of ei tinuing crin Charles Lerc by Art Buchwald It is regrettable that as the massage parlor industry grows by leaps and bounds there are fewer and fewer places that actually offer you a real massage — one that will alleviate pain and distress when you really need it. I discovered this last Sunday when I found myself with a pinched nerve and decided that I might get some relief from the strong hands of a tough masseur or masseuse who was willing to throw me across the room, if necessary, to get the crick out of my neck. There are 10 pages devoted to mas sage parlors in the Washington Yellow Pages, but very few seem to have too many massage specialists on duty on Sun day afternoon. “Well, I do have this fantasy,” I said, “that someone will come over to my house and take his or her strong hands and wring them around my neck and get the crick out of it.” “I see. You’re into sadomasochism,” he said. “Would you like her to wear an all leather outfit?” “I don’t care what she wears. As a mat ter of fact, I don’t care if you send over a 300-pound gorilla as long as I can get some relief.” “We’ve never had anyone ask for a gorilla before. You do have some strange fantasies.” dDrange, Tex; American Express credit card, Ford, 42, of 1 Charge and a Bank Americard charged with be able to get credit from a ! a member of the vice squad?” “All right,” he said. “We’ll s'J over Annie.” “Is she strong?” “Strong? She’ll put three lasl your back with a horsewhip a» forget your neck pain in a “Thanks, but no thanks YMCA.” “It’s up to you, but I doubi have a gorilla working on Sund ess cocaine v, bute. The listings include “Alladin’s Chest,” “Bunny’s Topkopi,” “Bobbie Jo’s Flam ing Den,” “Tiffany’s Velvet Touch,” and “Sheik Abdullah’s Harem.” I finally cal led “Lolita’s Geisha House” because my fingers got tired of walking across the Yellow Pages. Lolita’s ad said they made house calls. A man answered the phone. “I have this crick in my neck,” I said. “And I was wondering if you’d send over an expert masseur.” “Of course. Do you want a blonde or a brunette?” “I don’t care about the color of his hair. I want a guy with strong hands.” “Oh, you’re one of them,” he said. “One of what?” I asked. “Well, we usually send out masseuses for men and masseurs for women.” “Look, I’m not particular as long as the person knows what he or she is doing.” “They know what they’re doing, all right,” he assured me. “They wouldn’t be working for Lolita’s Geisha House if they “Look, I really don’t want a gorilla. What I had in mind was one of those large, heavily built Swedish or Finnish women, one who is stacked like a brick federal building and has steel arms and hands that can tear a Washington Red skin linebacker in half.” “What kind of a massage parlor do you think we’re running? Our girls come from some of the best families in the country. Several are graduates of Vassar and Sweetbriar, and we have one who has a master’s degree from the University of Tokyo. Berry's World “We have the most beautiful girls in the Washington area, and while we try to make all our clients happy there are limits to the services we will provide. Now if you really want a gorilla, you’re going to have to give us a few days to find one and you’ll have to pay for his trainer be cause we can’t allow him to make house calls on his own.” didn’t. We can fulfill any fantasy you have in mind.” “I need someone this afternoon. Don’t you have a simple masseur or masseuse who just gets pleasure out of rubbing sore muscles and massaging bad backs and necks?” “We might have,” he said suspiciously. “But how do we know you’re not from the vice squad?” “I swear to you I’m not. I have an