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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (April 28, 1983)
r-^80 1 Thursday, April 28, 1983/The Battalion/Page 5B Situation calls for mutual understanding Economy forcing more grads to return home United Press International iHonie is the place where, Jen you have to go there, they Ive to take you in. ■The poet Robert Frost wrote that more than 60 years ago, but lore and more college gradu- Itesare finding the words apply l|hem today as they leave cam pus in search of jobs and secur ity! financial and emotional. ■ A tight job market, rising rents, inflation and unrealistic lactations are forcing many [dents to return home with feir diplomas, often after four ormore years of living on their Jn in dormitories or offcam- pus housing. The arrangement saves ney, but parents and chil- b alike pay the price in other Vs, say researchers and coun- prs who work with family [mbers on both ends of the rning suitcase. “Itcan be traumatic for every- lie, especially if things aren’t irked out in advance,” says Eli- eth Wiegand, a consumer nomist for Cornell Coopera- k Extension and professor "eritus in the New York State lege of Human Ecology. Jit’s like being caught in mid air above a hurdle,” says Greg pi'in, 22, a January graduate of Hamilton College. Magin Hved back into his parents’ be to work at “an interim job” lie saving money to live in New York City. li’You’ve left school behind, hut you haven’t stepped out into 'the real world’ yet,” Magin says. Wiegand calls the trend “the re-filled nest syndrome,” a twist on the term coined to describe the period of loss and loneliness many parents are said to feel when the last of their children has moved out of the house. “Now a lot of parents who dreaded an empty nest may not even experience it,” Wiegand says. There have always been young adults who have used their parents’ homes as way sta tions between college and jobs, graduate school or marriage. But in the past, the economy has generally been flexible enough to render those stays temporary. Today, home visits often last months, or even years, while graduates wait to land jobs, often under the obligation of E aying back hefty education >ans. Steven Wexler, 24, moved back into his parents’ New York City home last May after living away for six years, first at Prince ton University, where he earned a bachelor’s degree in music, and then at the University of Miami. “I was certain I would have a place of my own by now,” says Wexler, who is trying to break into the music writing and pro duction business. “Even though my parents try to be accommo dating, I’m used to having inde pendence and privacy, and that makes it tough.” “He’s a nice person to have around, but tensions do arise,” says Steven’s mother, Evelyn Wexler. “I think it would be bet ter for everyone concerned if he were independent.” It’s important for all members of a family to realize their situa tion will change considerably when a child moves back after having lived away, says Dr. Arthur Hitchcock, Professor Emeritus in counseling psychol ogy and student development at State University of New York at Albany. “You do have to readjust,” agrees Evelyn Wexler. “It’s hard not to slip back into parent-child roles. I find myself giving the same advice I did before Steven left home — drive carefully, put on a sweater, things like that.” Trying to juggle job-hunting with rent and loan payments can seem overwhelming to recent graduates, Hitchcock says: “Many times they’re not able to connect with thejob market, and they need the time at home to assess where they’re trying to go” Ms. Wiegand observes that many returning students are graduates who may have aimed too high and feel they’ve failed when they don’t land jobs im mediately in their chosen fields. But going home is not always an act of desperation. Mary McLaughlin, 22, had a verbal agreement with her pa rents that they wouldn’t sell their home until at least a few years after she had graduated, so she would have a place to live while she paid back her school loans. When she did move back into her parents’ suburban Albany County, N.Y., home after leav ing the state university at Geneseo, she brought a house- guest — her husband, Mike. “It was stifling,” she says. “Just being home again makes you more dependent; I was a lot less confident in my own deci sions than I had been away at school. “And I think it’s worse to move back home when you’re married. You have very little personal privacy. It’s hard to be somebody’s wife and some body’s daughter at the same time,” said Mrs. McLaughlin. While most graduates go home because they can’t find jobs, some who are employed choose to return to the “nest,” preferring the company of their families to being alone or living with roommates. Mary McCombs, 22, a radio newswoman who returned to her Rochester, N.Y., home after graduating from Syracuse Uni versity in May 1981 said: “I’m not the type of person who can live alone, and sharing a place with a roommate can be awk ward no matter how well you get along.” Though Ms. Wiegand warns that parents and children may become too dependent upon each other if the child moves back home, Ms. McCombs says she and her mother are only as close as they need to be. Hitchcock stresses that emo tional support of live-at-home children is perhaps even more important than financial help. “Parents have to realize their kids are going through a new experience — they have to find their way,” he says. Although she recommends most grown children should be discouraged from living at home indefinitely, she says that only as a last resort should parents kick the child out of the house. “If they look like they’re get ting too cozy and they’re not making an effort at independ ence, then parents might have to take some drastic action,” she says. “Otherwise, if everyone just talks to each other, they’ll probably get through it.” DIETING? Even though we do not prescribe diets, we make it possible for many to enjoy a nutritious meal while they follow their doctor's orders. You will be delighted with the wide selection of low calorie, sugar free and fat free foods in the Souper Salad Area, Sbisa Dining Center Basement. OPEN Monday through Friday 10:45 AM-1:45 PM QUALITY FIRST SPECIAL NOTICE 1st SUMMER SESSION OPTIONAL BOARD PLAN Students, on campus, off campus, and graduate, may dine on a meal plan during the 1st Summer Session at TAMIL Students selecting the 7-day plan may dine three meals each day, except Sunday evening; those selecting the 5-day plan may dine three meals each day, Monday through Friday. Meals will be served in Commons. Fees are payable to the Controller of Ac counts, Fiscal Office, Coke Building. Notice dates: Commons will be open for cash business on Registration day, May 30. Meal plans will begin on the first day of class, May 31. Fees for each plan are as follows: 7 Day $195.00 May 31 through July 1 5 Day $176.00 and Plus Tax July 5 and 6 Meal plan validation will begin at 7:30 a.m., May 31, in the Commons Lobby. Fee slips will be required. ‘Teel the luxury . . . Warm water running through your hair. Cleansing. Massaging. Gentle suds rinsed out, leaving a soft, sweet scent. Now, the cut. Crisp. Precise. Fresh. Perfect. Feel the luxury at. . . 707 Texas Avenue 696-6933 Culpepper Plaza 693-0607 MSC Cafeteria Now Better Than Ever. You Will Be Pleased With These Carefully Prepared and Taste Tempting Foods. Each Daily Special Only $2.39 Plus Tax. “Open Daily” Dining: 11 A.M. to 1:30 P.M. — 4:00 P.M. to 7:00 P.M MONDAY EVENING SPECIAL Salisoury Steak with Mushroom Gravy Whipped Potatoes Your Choice of One Vegetable Roll or. Corn Bread and Butter Coffee or Tea TUESDAY EVENING SPECIAL Mexican Fiesta Dinner Two Cheese and Onion Enchiladas w chili Mexican Rice Patio Style Pinto Beans Tostadas Coffee or Tea One Corn Bread and Butter WEDNESDAY EVENING SPECIAL Chicken Fried Steak w cream Gravy Whipped Potatoes and Choice of one other Vegetable Roll or Corn Bread and Butter Coffee or Tea NOW IS THE TIME Summer and Fall Preleasing is now in progress at THE most sought after addresses in College Station If you missed... Don’t Miss. .. ms , OctA\ S THURSDAY EVENING SPECIAL Italian Candle Light Spaghetti Dinner SERVED WITH SPICED MEAT BALLS AND SAUCE Parmesan Cheese - Tossed Green Salad Choice of Salad Dressing — Hot Garlic Bread Tea or Coffee FOR YOUR PROTECTION OUR PERSONNEL HAVE HEALTH CARDS. January — Nacho cookoff with margaritas February — Racquetball Tournament Valentines couple drawing March — Drawing for hot air balloon ride Outdoor concert April — Superstars competition Spring dance w/Carribean cruise for 2 drawing May — Kegs by the pool June — 2nd annual watermelon extravaganza July — Games picnic August — End of the summer celebration September — Softball Tournament November — Bonfire bash December — Christmas parties 6c contests FRIDAY EVENING SPECIAL BREADED FISH FILET w TARTAR SAUCE Cole Slaw Hush Puppies Choice of one vegetable Roll or Corn Bread & Butter Tea or Coffee SATURDAY NOON and EVENING SPECIAL Yankee Pot Roast Texas Style (Tossed Salad) Mashed Potato w gravy Roll or Corn Bread & Butter Tea or Coffee |“Quality First”! SUNDAY SPECIAL NOON and EVENING ROAST TURKEY DINNER| Served with Cranberry Sauce Cornbread Dressing Roll or Corn Bread - Butter - Coffee or Tea Giblet Gravy And your choice of any One vegetable §€/AIR®ll/A\ Sevilla f Brownstone] TA0S Arora Gardens 693-4242 696-9771 693-6505