Nevermore/Aggie Rag/ Cinco
(Please read the story at the bottom of the page.
It’s very good. Really. No kidding. We mean it.)
Twi-
iiO!: University of Texas football about the infamous Twelfth Man kicking
man I trembles in fear when he hears team. Either that or his helmet is stuck.
ran
ils well, Jockie says
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autta Diane Yount, Jan
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Diana Sultenfuss,
Denise Richter,
Scott McCullar,
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Daine Engstrom,
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farody International
Itagle News Service
arersity Happy New*
tad My Dog, Spot
Football Coach Jockie
mgh not available for per-
nt, said that he doesn’t
think an oil well in Kyle Field will
present any problem for his team.
“My players know what side their
bread is buttered on,” Shorts said, in a
release released by Ralph Hanes,
associate athletic director in charge of
the keeping the press away from Jock
ie. ‘‘ They know those Cutlasses and
yondos don’t grow on tryfes.”
Shorts said he plans to use the der
rick as an observation tower.
“And at night, we can post armed
guards in the tower to make sure
none of my boys break curfew,” he
said.
The well also will benefit the
Twelfth Man Kicking and Drilling
Team, he said.
Shorts said he is training a special
Twelfth Man Kicking and Drilling
Team commando squad to force
opponents into the derrick.
“Heh, heh, heh,” Shorts said.
In addition to the Twelfth Man
Kicking and Drilling Team, the Aggie
Band also will be learning new forma
tions, including one in the shape of a
gusher.
And several yell leaders have prop
osed changing the traditional Aggie
yell from “Gig ’em” to “Gush ’em.”
But some Corps members and Uni
versity administrators are worried
that Reveille may mistake the derrick
for a fire hydrant.
“That could dilute the value of our
oil,” Regents Chairman B.S. “Ultra”
Brite said.
cycles, oil, apathy
bated in SG meeting
‘Broom’
gets swept
out door
by John Wagner
Aggie Rag Staff
Texas A&M Athletic Director
Jockie Shorts announced Monday
that Associate Athletic Director for
Janitorial Services Lanny “Broom”
Washington would not be rehired for
the 1983-84 basketball season.
Rumors about Washington’s job
began circulating at the beginning of
this season, but after a closed-door
meeting with Washington, Shorts and
Associate Athletic Director in Charge
of Horrendous Schedules Charles
Searsbest, the 34-year r old Washing
ton told The Aggie Rag his job was
safe.
“Shorts gave me a vote of confi
dence,” Washington said in an exclu
sive interview.
Several days after that meeting,
however, Washington was quoted as
saying: “I’m not supposed to say any
thing about my job.”
“That sounds like something right
there,” he was told.
“Oh,” Washington said.
But on Monday, after meeting
with Associate Athletic Director in
Charge of Making Mega-Bucks Mike
“Fruit” Ofdaloom, Shorts called
Washington into his office and fired
him.
In a statement released to the press
through Ralph Hanes, associate
athletic director in charge of the
keeping the press away from Jockie,
Shorts said: “Mr. Washington just
didn’t fit into our plans to become a
first-class athletic institution. We are
proud to say that we once fired him,
and we wish him the best of luck in
trying to find another job before his
kids starve.”
Attempts to contact Shorts in his
office, at his home, in his car, at Kyle
Field and in Regents Chairman B.S.
“Ultra” Brite’s private aircraft were
unsuccessful. However, his secretary
told the Rag that Shorts did have a
15-minute time slot open in 1985, and
that he would be available for com- |
ment at that time.
The Rag has learned that I
Washington’s job was in danger the
minute Shorts came to Texas A&M.
An unnamed source close to the
Athletic Department — who will lose
his job when this article is published
— said: “Shorts said all along he was
going to bring in his own men tc
sweep G. Rollie W’hite after basketball
games. It was just a matter of time|
until Washington was axed.”
Been snorting at night?
Feeling piggy?
Does this picture appeal to your
sexual libido? You maybe the
victim of '
SWINE FLU!
If you feel any of these inclinations,
rush over to the Animal Pavilion and help
us keep our pigs happy. It’s safe, and you
don’t have to worry about your parents
being notified.
/iitiiwUa?
Binging and Purging? While we don’t treat this dietary
disorder, we do help you out with fill-a-trough buffet
service, large private bathroom suites, and food that
comes up as easily as it goes down. You will be delightedl
with the wide selection of sugar-free, fat-free,
caffeine-free, taste-free foods in the Goopy Salad
or Underground Airport Terminal, Sgreasa Dining
Center Basement.
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Elaine Engstrom
Ajgit Rag Staff
amine, the rising cost of a
mion and the escalating
Brace were'the topics ol
Knight s Student Senate
tbusiness, the Senate took
robillsand sent a third to
tor additional research,
i Bike Rules for the Good
it.'deals with bicycle reg-
ompus. A second bill, “Oil
Residence Halls." stems
(koverv of oil, on the
Bonecampus dormitorv. A
Voter Apathy in Student
■Elections,” was sent hack
tttforadditional reports of
ton.
[ImaTradicion, sponsor ol
■ said she thinks regulat-
pon campus is necessary
■of the University popula-
[liolf.
h can’t let there he a f ree
patmosphere with every-
pgwhat he wants to, can
kionasked. “I think it’s im-
Ikpeople keep in step with
■ so everyone can lx- just
It sou:
Irtgulation is the first step
toward achieving that goal. If no one
is allowed to ride freely, then no one
can get out of line and start espousing
radical, lilx*ral beliefs, right? Don’t
you agree? Of course you do.”
The hike bill, which was passed
unanimously, will set up two-way bike
lanes throughout campus and make
bicycle registration mandatory for
bike riders. Students not registering
their bikes with the University Police
are subject to immediate expulsion.
The bill also sets up campus-wide
slot) lights with BIKE and DON’T
BIKE signals for bicyclists in addition
to the usual signal lights.
BettE Baltimore, vice president for
academic affairs, said the bill was de-
signed to promote harmony at Texas
A&M.
“We just want everyone to flow
together in a unified movement
throughout campus,” Baltimore said.
“It’s Aggie Spirit that bonds us
together and everyone should get in
volved whether they want to or not.”
The oil hill was voted down by a
slight majority as senators debated fu
riously over whether Glashow Hall
would be allowed to lease the mineral
rights to its courtyard to a private oil
company.
Glashow president Frank A. Neut
rino said he doesn't understand what
all the fuss is about.
“We just thought it would be a
good way to earn money for dorm
mixers,” he said.
“I really don’t see what the prob
lem is. If we donVt mind the noise and
mess, w hy should anyone else care? If
you don’t have an oil well, get one.”
Senator Biff Cransdell said that
allowing Glashow Hall to establish its
own oil exploration would be unfair
to other dorms.
“I think equal distribution of
wealth is an important issue in this
situation,” he said. “Dorms that don’t
happen to be sitting on huge reserves
of oil won’t be able to compete. As a
senate representing the entire stu
dent body, we must be fair to all stu
dents equally.”
Although Student Body President
Tap Noserap said he personally be
lieves some students are more equal
than others, he said he publicly agrees
with Cransdell.
“We of the Student Senate just
can’t discriminate like Glashow wants
us to do,” Noserap said. “It’s a ques
tion of integrity.”
The apathy bill was sent back to
committee after no one really cared
enough to vote on it.
SUMMER STUDY IN EL SALVADOR
Open to all TAMU students (especially Corps members)
See slides of the carnage and battlegrounds and hear more about
the courses in out organizaiiona} meeting
is the
attend classes in sunnv San Salvador.
: y| »nl be many tours, cultural experiences and
M»! ““ps.
ildez, pioQuezaltepeque, Zacatecoluca, Ahuachapan
jfrtinptonounceablc places in the country are
ill be
: en- "illenroll in two i lasses (choose from Guerilla
? intoSi‘151,Foreign Aid Scrounging 326, Election
ILY» ition (° r Winning Through Intimidation)
Your El Salvadoran Education and Culture.)
if the t!tj ons w jn | K . answered and details provided
date. 1
fiecimg.
TUESDAY, APRIL 1
2 a.m. MSC 830
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Featuring mixed gender night!
YES, if you want it,
we have it — any night of the week.
FRIDAY
Meatmarket Night
^r-
For a good dme bring your own slab. Meat swaps every half hour.
No pets allowed
Not to be confused with any night club in Bryan/College Station.