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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Feb. 24, 1983)
4 I opinion Battalion/Pagji February 24,1| Slouch By Jim Earle “When they divide that oil lease money up among us, I hope it is proportional to our time in school and not the number of grade points that we have.“ Make a good offer on barrels of oil by Art Buchwald You can’t believe what disarray the oil-producing nations are in until you visit an open market oil bazaar and see for yourself. I went to one last week to buy a barrel for Valentine’s Day. A sheik from Kuwait was singing, “Oil for sale, oil for sale. Sweet crude oil for sale.” “How much is it?” I asked. “Thirty-four dollars a barrel. But since it’s Valentine’s Day I'll let you have it for 32.” I was about to taste it, when a man grabbed my arm, and pulled me into his tent. “ That man is a thief. Here, try this delicious Libyan oil.” 1 le handed me a tin cup. “Very tasty,” 1 said. “How much for a barrel?” He smiled. “Thirty dollars. We’re hav ing a Kaddafi Day Founders’ Sale.” “I’ll be back,” I promised him. I walked along the dusty streets of the bazaar as Nigerians, Saudi Arabians and oil merchants from Qatar all implored me to buy their products. A man wearing a sombrero said, “Senor, please, would you like to buy this 1983 vintage which just came out of an offshore well off Venezuela?” “Is 1983 a good year for oil?” I asked him. “It’s nouveau oil. The weather was just right for pumping it out of the sea. You can refine it today.” “How much is it?” I asked. “If you promise not to tell anyone I will sell you a barrel for $29,” he said. “That’s $5 below the OPEC price.” “I spit on OPEC. They are all double- crossers, and they are undercutting me all over the bazaar. I have a f amily to feed and that is why I am sacrificing my oil at cost.” “I'd like to think about it,” I said. As I walked farther down, a man in a sombrero standing in an alley called to me. “Psst, amigo, are you looking for some fast action?” “It all depends on what you have to offer.” He showed me a photograph of a bar rel of Mexican oil. “I give you her for $27 and will throw in the transportation for tree.” “She’s very beautiful,” I said. “But how do I know site’s the real stuff?” “He will guarantee that you won’t be disappointed.” The Mexican pointed to a nervous man wearing a pin-st riped suit, a white shirt and a Harvard School of Busi ness tie. “Tell him, Thomas, how great my oil is.” “She’s everything he says she is,” pin stripe assured me. “Who are you?” I asked. “I am from the Chase Manhattan Bank, and he’s into me for $(t billion. Buy his damned oil and give me a break.” “I really didn’t want to spend that much,” I said. “I say, old chap,” a fellow in a morning coat who looked like a floorwalker at Harrad’s said, “I’d be very careful of those Latin cutthroats. Could I interest you in some very fine British petroleum from the North Sea? It’s certified by the Royal Family.” “How much?” The British never haggle over price when it comes to oil. “Twenty-five dollars — take it or leave it.” “Twenty-three dollars,” I said. “I’ll make it $24 and arrange to have your picture taken with Princess Diana’s baby.” “I guess I can’t do better than that.” “Yes, you can,” an Iranian oil mer chant said, pulling me into his hut. “What’s your price?” “Are you an American?” “Of course,” I said. “Then I will give you this barrel for $20.” “Why so cheap?” I asked. He put his arm around my shoulder and whispered, “We Iranians and Amer icans have to stick together.” USPS 045 360 Member ot Texas Press Association Southwest Journalism Conference The Battalion Editor Diana Sultenfuss Managing Editor Gary Barker Associate Editor Denise Richter CityEditor. HopeE.Paasch Assistant City Editor Beverly Hamilton Sports Editor. John Wagner Entertainment Editor Colette Hutchings Assistant Entertainment Editor. . . . Diane Yount News Editors Daran Bishop, Brian Boyer, Jennifer Carr, Elaine Engstrom, Johna Jo Maurer, Jan Werner, Rebeca Zimmermann Staff Writers Melissa Adair, Maureen Carmody, Frank Christlieb, Connie Edelmon, Patrice Koranek, John Lopez, Robert McGlohon, Ann Ramsbottom, Kim Schmidt, Patti Schwierzke, Kelley Smith, Angel Stokes, Tracey Taylor, Joe Tindel Copyeditors .... Shelley Hoekstra, Jan Swaner, Chris Thayer Cartoonist Scott McCullar Graphic Artists Pam Starasinic Sergio Galvez Photographers David Fisher,Jo/ge Casari, Ronald W. Emerson, Rob Johnston, Irene Mees, William Schulz Editorial Policy The Battalion is a non-profit, self-supporting news paper operated as a community service to Texas AScM University and Bryan-College Station. Opinions ex pressed in The Battalion are those of the editor or the author, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Texas A&M University administrators or faculty mem bers, or of the Board of Regents. The Battalion also serves as a laboratory newspaper for students in reporting, editing and photography clas ses within the Department of Communications. Questions or comments concerning any editorial matter should be directed to the editor. Letters Policy Letters to the Editor should not exceed 300 words in length, and are subject to being cut if they are longer. The editorial staff reserves the right to edit letters for style and length, but will make every effort to maintain the author’s intent. Each letter must also be signed and show the address and phone number of the writer. Columns and guest editorials are also welcome, and are not subject to the same length constraints as letters. Address all inquiries and correspondence to: Editor, The Battalion, 216 Reed McDonald, Texas A&M Uni versity, College Station, TX 77843, or phone (713) 845- 2611. The Battalion is published daily during Texas A&M’s fall and spring semesters, except for holiday and exami nation periods. Mail subscriptions are $16.75 per semes ter, $33.25 per school year and $35 per full year. Adver tising rates furnished on request. Our address: The Battalion, 216 Reed McDonald Building, Texas A&M University, College Station, TX 77843. United Press International is entitled exclusively to the use for reproduction of all news dispatches credited to it. Rights of reproduction of all other matter herein reserved. Second class postage paid at College Station, TX 77843. Rebels making battlefield gains El Salvador coalition crackin by John E. Newhagen United Press International SAN SALVADOR, El Salvador — A power struggle between the partners has paralyzed El Salvador’s fragile coalition government and threatens to undermine the war against increasingly aggressive leftist rebels. Fhe 60-seat Constituent Assembly came to power last March 28 with it man date to write a new constitution and gov ern until this constitution was put into effect. Many called this the first free elec tion in El Salvador in 50 veins. Fhe U.S.-backed Christian Democrats won 42 percent of the vote tor the largest single block in the Assembly, but the ultra-right National Republican Alliance, known as Arena, wound up controlling the body bv winning the support ol two other conservative parties. Arena leader Roberto d’Aubuisson’s sudden rise to power from the under ground, where he lied idler being charged with plotting a coup, stunned Salvadorans. But d’Aubuisson, elected as Assembly president, has antagonized his coalition partners and key members of the military by relentlessly pushing his rightist views, which include suspending land reform and purging officials suspected of liberal tendencies. Fhe Christian Democ rats, considered moderates by U.S. policymakers, began organizing a “Democratic Center” coali tion last fall. By luring two deputies from the* Democratic Action Party and four from the National Conciliation Party into their camp, they gained a paper majority of 31 Assembly votes. Serious cracks began to apppear in d’Aubuisson’s coalition before Christ mas. He threatened to resign on several occasions and no longer is in control. I he decision-making process of govei nment is in stalemate. “D’Aubuisson forgot the small par ties,” said Christian Democratic floor leader Julio Rey Plenties. Fhe Arena party has thrown roadb locks into the path of a new constitution, lighting any hint that power in the f uture may be shared with leftists. Many Salvadorans wonder if the first draft of the constitution can be finished as scheduled by the end of March. Defense Minister Jose Guillermo Gar cia has been shaking up the military com mand for three months, purging officers believed to be Arena supporters. That nearly backfired in January when he ordered Lt. Colonel Sigifredo Ochoa, a close friend of d’Aubuisson. transferred to a diplomatic post in Uru guay. Instead, Ochoa and his Cobra batta lion rebelled and demanded Garcia’s res ignation for mishandling the war. A compromise was reached and Ochoa left the country for assignment in the United States, but the army lias remained split. With politicians and army of fleers bog ged down in acrimonious debate, rebels have shown more strength than im agined, overrunning a major city, Berlin, in early February, and cutting off another one, Suchitoto, later in the month. ti rai der in Thi ver rd L uril Tt S< jar I his drive convinced Western sources that t he army willlacea er and morale crisis if majo changes are not made. But the civilian governmen strung in the rightist-moderate^ has not been able to assertitscot t 1 , 11 "’ Defense Minister Garcia, strongest force in thecouninij military coup of 1979. Garcia has so far opposed change in his conservative wai that emphasizes fixed troop and cumbersome 2,000 to3j sweeps that guerrillas easily d ^ opposed to aggressive small f avored by American militani Fhe United States, whichb| in nearly $1 billion in aidant past three years, is growing impatient with the stalemate on tlefield. Secretary of State George Feb. 16 ruled out talks with il»| just days after a "working approved by Assistant Secrelan Fhomas Finders was leakedio calling for a "two-track” polio porting the Salvadoran war pursuing negotiations with the Congressional critics have ►prop their opposition to U.S. assist oijof Sen. Christopher Dodd, D-tiini[frh ing aid to El Salvador to mone\ down a rat hole.” Negotiations in any form mi acceptable to d’Aubuisson am surek provoke his withdraw!Ii government coalition, trigyi downfall and demoralizing even more. he Four cartons and seven packs ago by Dick West United Press International WASHING FON — Contrary to the laments of one protest group, the anti smoking campaign in this country has not reached the point where puffing is permitted “only in the shower with the water running.” At least not yet. There’s no gainsaying, however, that smoking proscriptions have become stringent enough to incite protests by tobacco libertarians who claim their right to light up is being trampled. Thus far, these stirrings of discontent are hardly more noticeable than the faint odor of Uncle Harry’s cheap cheroots emanating from Aunt Maude’s living room draperies when they first come back from the cleaners. The voice of rebellion may b£ only a “festo” (half of a manifesto) issued by a militant organization calling itself The Outcasts of Smoker Flat. Or it may take the puny form of a guidebook listing restaurants where cigar smokers are welcomed, and pre sumably treated as first class citizens. Nor is there any convincing evidence that the protest movement will escalate into a full-scale revolt. Most smokers, apparently, still feel selfconseious about offending the nostrils of abstaining seat mates and others in the vicinity. Hence, they accept public banishment meekly, sneaking a few puffs as allowed. Indications that smokers are begin ning to resent segregation are, nonethe less, unmistakable. And it behooves any honest observer of incipient social trends to take notice of the malcontents before they begin striking back. The author of the aformentioned “festo,” one Nick Bourne of Moores- town, N.J., assured me he had no connec tion with the tobacco industry. He said his decision to organize The Outcasts of Smoker Flat was a result of irritation caused by “No Smoking signs poking me in the eye.” “Prohibition is the word of the day,” Bourne complains. “The smoker is be coming an outcast. Some even propose that all smokers be exiled to Cleveland. Others are for dividing the country into two parts: Non-smokers only allowed east of the Mississippi and smokers re stricted West to compete with of the smog-smothered cities Well, it is one thing to fed being victimized by a ruthless' and quite another thing tomaltj action effective. Perhaps smokers shouldjoij paign to require that cigarettes more quickly than current bn Development of self-e# cigarettes is being pushed reasons. But that need not be j impetus. Non-smokers say the fumes are those emerging fro®] when butts have not beeiu snubbed out. If cigarettes had [ fed on to keep them lit, itiwdj some of the pressure to smokers. Failing that, the only recoil Outcasts might be a “Smokers' Washington.” I can see themJ the Lincoln Memorial to against the bars of isolation j Wasn’t it Lincoln whoi nation can permanently e# smoked?