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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Nov. 5, 1982)
opinion Battalion/Page 2 November 5,1982 Slouch By Jim Earle “I will sure be glad when all this Halloween stuff is over and you settle down and become a person again.” Flu fad may be goldmine There is a new fad being started around campus, and it is being started by people who have the flu or catch a cold and discover the goldmine of sympathy and candy that a sick person is likely to receive. These and various other things act as strong incentives for those who have the flu to let it drag on. Perhaps the most obvious case of self- induced sicknesses can be seen in the campus flu-study currently being con ducted. Select students act as guinea- pigs, allowing themselves to be shot in the arm with doses of the flu — although some students find, much to their dis may, that they have been injected with a placebo. Denise R. Patton i authei times, merely watching a “sick” helps you determine your diagnosis the person in question coughs so and hard that their eyes start to watei, they turn red in the face, youcanpn well assume that the sickness is If they turn only a delicate pink, their sickness is questionable this case, you might try taking a as the pulse rate is likely to increaii direct proportion to the amountof« gy being directed into the coni effort. by c ] However, students who participate in this study are not as foolish as you might suppose. First, consider the fact that they receive monetary compensation just for accepting the shot. Then, should they happen to get sick, they are paid again, providing that they are willing to go to the Quack Shack and donate a sample of their flu-infested blood. Aside from the monetary compensa tion received by these guinea-pig-Aggies, they also receive gobs of sympathy and concern from friends. When you are lying sick and helpless in bed, good friends have no choice but to serve you breakfast, lunch and dinner. If they are very good friends, they might even ask you if you would prefer McDonald’s over Taco Bell’s carry-out dinners! At this point, you might be saying, “Now wait just a darn minute! Those silly gooses shouldn’t take their perfectly healthy body and let some research team give them a shot to make them sick.” It is more than likely that the guinea pig will retort that they are helping mankind, that they are advancing science, that they could very well bring about the break through that leads to the cure of the com mon cold or flu. Okay, fine, but what about those other people who are sick, have been sick for quite some time, and do not see a com plete recovery in the near future. These cases should be handled somewhat diffe rently. First, it is important to discover if the sickness is authentic, and there are sever al ways to determine authenticity. Some- A person who lies around in day, alternately sleeping and bemoai their ill-fate and cursing their weak stitution, yet feels chipper enoughio to The Hall of Fame or to The Rosing 1 the evening is NOT worth cookies for. W »sed These people are not only themselves by straining what they Mil to be solid friendships, but they are putting a serious dent in the goodwill healthy people. Also, rememberthai true-blue authentic flu/cold cases missing out on some much-desem attention. Let’s just hope that thecam| flu-study does produce some positive! suits, thus eliminating the need Aggies to become self-appointed pb cians. So don’t let that cough get thelt of you and your friendships, just WELL! The Polish defector in banking business by Art Buchwald One of the biggest deadbeats, as far as international loans are concerned, is Po land. The myth that Poland is not bank rupt is being kept alive by every Western bank, because no one wants to foreclose on it at this time. How did Poland and the U.S. banks get into such a mess? It now turns out that the highest ranking Polish banker in the United States was also a Polish spy. The banker’s name is Andrzej Treumann and he has just defected to our side, and is now somewhere in the U.S. as a guest of the CIA. Mr. Truemann was ostensibly in charge of renegotiating the Polish debt with the banks in the West. My source at CIA’s headquarters in Langley filled me in on a few intelligence details concerning Treumann’s defec tion. “The Polish government’s biggest mis take,” he said, “was sending a top banker to the U.S. to spy for them. Our people knew that there was no chance of Poland paying back its debt to the Western banks, so the man had to be sent to the United States for another reason. You don’t need a top banker to renegotiate a Polish loan with the Chase Manhattan Barik or Citibank. If you sent a teller from Gdansk Savings and Loan, Chase and Citibank would have to talk to him. We figured Treumann would have a lot of free time on his hands and he was probably up to no good.” “That was good reasoning, but you must have had more to go on than a hunch.” “We did. Every time Treumann went to see an executive of a bank to renegoti ate a Polish loan he kept producing Po land’s liabilities on microfilm. He once tried to open up a new account at the Bank of America and instead of a press ure cooker he asked if he could have an MX missile. Once he of fered to pay back interest on the Polish debt to the Con tinental Bank of Chicago If the vice presi dent would give his son a model kit of the Stealth bomber. But what really piqued our interest was when three checks he wrote against the Los Alamos Employees Credit Union bounced.” “The man really sounds inept at keep ing his cover,” I said. “When Treumann finally came over to our side he said it wasn’t his fault. The Polish Minister of Finance kept bugging him to get Irving Trust off his back, and the Warsaw Pact commander kept bad gering him on how many nuclear sub marines were stationed in New London. The poor man never could keep his cables straight.” “Is that why he defected?” “No, strangely enough it was a little thing that got him angry. The Bowery Savings Bank held an outstanding loan to Poland of $2 billion. When Treumann informed them he couldn’t make the monthly payment, Bowery repossessed his car. Treumann sent a message to the Minister of Finance asking him to settle up Poland’s debt with Bowery Savings so he could get his car back. But the Minis ter cabled back, ‘Impossible to do. From now on take the subway.’” The CIA man continued, “Now, T reumann is no dummy and he lived in Queens long enough to know that riding the New York subway is far more danger ous than being a spy for a Communist country. So rather than risk his life on the IRT, he decided to come in from the cold.” Guess wli lyper. Gue: ias really h igious. It may h; Thursday t Tollie Wh: vasn’t a dr Trick — tf coking, po he Midwes icuse, part: idequate v ptthemo icur and a The wa: ihow was N< ;e high-tec of c'ovo Conit lut they ha' tow starte Ticient h ^sted note: tence. Howeve specially land’s lead vriter — n Sated for N< lersonality. With his tair and cus vlielsen hard ‘n’rolle: iround the juitar licks a hand, it be le’s an exci hint] ock ‘i md talented Cheap ‘Hello Ther :all to ord< traight into •ousing song lienee to a p And the the group ji When lead si neck muscl screamed “y theendofth per,” it was c rock ’n’ roll a niomous. Zander’s evening. We and his LETS 5K,,. eye OF NEWT, BAT WINfiS, TYtfllOlj TREE FRO®, eXCEPRIN, V1SIN6, „ Letters: Vandalism is childish Editor: The Battalion USPS 045 360 Member of Texas Press Association Southwest Journalism Conference Editor Diana Sultenfuss Managing Editor Phyllis Henderson Associate Editor Denise Richter City Editor Gary Barker Assistant City Editor Hope E. Paasch Sports Editor Frank L. Christlieb Entertainment Editor Nancy Floeck Assistant Entertainment Editor Colette Hutchings News Editors Cathy Capps, Johna Jo Maurer, Daniel Puckett, Jan Werner, Todd Woodard Staff Writers Jennifer Carr, Susan Dittman, Beverly Hamilton, David Johnson, John Lopez, Robert McGlohon, Carol Smith, Dana Smelser, Joe Tindel, John Wagner, Rebeca Zimmermann Copyeditors Elaine Engstrom, Chris Thayer 'Cartoonist Scott McCullar Graphic Artist Pam Starasinic Photographers David Fisher, Jorge Casari, Ronald W. Emerson, Octavio Garcia, Irene Mees, John Ryan, Robert Snider pressed in The Battalion are those of the editor or the author, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Texas A&M University administrators or faculty mem bers, or of the Board of Regents. The Battalion also serves as a laboratory newspaper for students in reporting, editing and photography clas ses within the Department of Communications. Questions or comments concerning any editorial matter should be directed to the editor. Letters Policy Letters to the Editor should not exceed 300 words in length, and are subject to being cut if they are longer. The editorial staff, reserves the right to edit letters for style and length, but will make every effort to maintain the author’s intent. Each letter must also be signed and show the address and phone number of the writer. Columns and guest editorials are also welcome, and are not subject to the same length constraints as letters. Address all inquiries and correspondence to: Editor, The Battalion, 216 Reed McDonald, Texas A&M Uni versity, College Station, TX 77843, or phone (713) 845- 2611. The Battalion is published daily during Texas A&M’s fall and spring semesters, except for holiday and exami nation periods. Mail subscriptions are $16.75 per semes ter, $33.25 per school year and $35 per full year. Adver tising rates furnished on request. Our address: The Battalion, 216 Reed McDonald Building, Texas A&M University, College Station, TX 77843. Editorial Policy The Battalion is a non-profit, self-supporting news paper operated as a community service to Texas A&M University and Bryan-College Station. Opinions ex- United Press International is entitled exclusively to the use for reproduction of all newsdispatches credited to it. Rights of reproduction of all other matter herein reserved. Second class postage paid at College Station, TX 77843. For many years we have taken great pride in showing visitors from other uni versities the fine facilities of Texas A&M. Most are amazed that our students have taken such good care of these facilities. We always point out that Aggies are simply the “salt of the earth". Has “the salt lost its savor"? This fall we have had repeated acts of petty van dalism in Heldenfels Hall that were nev er seen before. T he gate to our parking lot is frequently broken off; we have found filthy grafitti on walls and in the elevator; bulletin boards have been torn from the walls; and numerous floods have been caused in restrooms by stu dents stuffing paper towels into the plumbing. This childish behavior is un worthy of Aggies. I sincerely hope that “good Ags” will protest when they see others engaging in vandalism and that, if necessary, they will report such persons immediately to the proper authorities. The irresponsible acts of a few reflect badly bn us all. bution on any college campus in the Un ited States. Those of us from Alpha Phi Omega, Omega Phi Alpha and Student Govern ment wish to thank the crew from Wad- ley Blood Bank for their patience and professionalism. We look forward to working with them each semester and appreciate their courtesy and kindness. Special thanks to the Aggie pledges and freshmen aides for help? make this semester’s blood drive a cord-breaking success. Stephen Cronw Aggie Blood Drive Commit Rod O’Connor Professor and director First year chemistry programs Thanks Editor: Thianks to all Aggies who donated the gift of life. The Fall 1982 Aggie blood drive set a new record of 2,283 pints of blood. This represents the largest contri- Berry’s World by Jim Berry ©1082 by NEA. Inc. “C’mon, mister, gimmie a break! I just ran for political office. Got any idea how much it COSTS to run for political office?” 1 2