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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Oct. 29, 1982)
®enjO£> Slouch By Jim Earle ‘How do you keep the candle lit?” The ghost speaks for himself by Dick West United Press International WASHINGTON — Calvin Hoffman, au thor of “The Murder of the Man Who Was Shakespeare,” claims new evidence unco vered in England supports his thesis that Shakespeare’s plays actually were written by Christopher Marlowe. I’m not enough of a student of Elizabethan drama to evaluate Hof f man’s suspicions. On a pop quiz, I would have identified Christopher Marlowe as a fictional private eye created by Raymond Chandler. Tom’s a-cold. So may he rest. Vex not his ghost.” Q. Is there any connection at all between you and Marlowe? A. “They say we are almost as like as eggs. He does it with better grace, but I do it more naturally.” Q. What about Francis Bacon, Edmund Spenser and all those other English authors who have been mentioned as your ghostwri ters? It occurred to me, however, that expert testimony on the subject could be found in the disputed works themselves. Here is how an interrogation of the Immortal Bard might read: Q. Come now, Mr. Shakespeare, less up. Did you really write those plays yourself? A. “An ill-favoured thing, sir, but mine own. I call the gods to witness.” Q r What about the claim that Marlowe was the author? A. “This is a very false gallop of verses. Falser than vows made in wine. Stands not within the prospect of belief. What imports the nomination of this gentleman?” A. “Mechanic slaves with greasy aprons, rules and hammers. Cudgel thy brains no more about it. Nothing will come to nothing.” Q. Yeah, but where will it all end? A. “Things at worse will cease, or else climb upward to what they were before.” Q. 1 didn’t ask for a stock market predic tion, sir. 1 wanted to know what your personal reaction would be. A. “I am tied to the stake, and I must stand the course.” Q. Well, Hoffman says it has been disco vered that Marlowe was still alive five years after his reputed murder in 1583. That would at least physically place him in the time frame of some of the later manuscripts. A. “But this denoted a foregone conclu sion. Give me the ocular proof.” Q. Hoffman also wants to reopen the tomb of Marlowe’s patron, Sir Thomas Walsing- ham, to locate a box that might contain con clusive evidence of Marlowe’s authorship. A. “That takes the reason prisoner. Poor Q. I wasn’t asking you about Reaganomics, either. Is there anything else you wish to say in rebuttal? A. “Little shall I grace my cause in speing for myself. Reputation is an idle and most false imposition; often got without merit, and lost without deserving. He that filches from me my good name robs me of that which not enriches him, and makes me poor indeed.” Q. That certainly is one way of looking at it. Shall I put you down as insisting you wrote the plays? A. “No hinge nor loop to hang a doubt on.” Q. Thank you, Mr. Shakespeare. Your wit ness, Mr. Hoffman. A. “Bid me discourse, I will enchant thine The Battalion USPS 045 360 Member of Texas Press Association Southwest Journalism Conference Editor Diana Sultenfuss Managing Editor Phyllis Henderson Associate Editor Denise Richter City Editor Gary Barker Assistant City Editor HopeE. Paasch Sports Editor Frank L. Christlieb Entertainment Editor Nancy Floeck Assistant Entertainment Editor Colette Hutchings News Editors Rachel Bostwick, Cathy Capps, Johna Jo Maurer, Daniel Puckett, Jan Werner, Todd Woodard Staff Writers Jennifer Carr, Susan Dittman, Beverly Hamilton, David Johnson, John Lopez, Robert McGlohon, Carol Smith, Dana Smelser, Joe Tindel, John Wagner, Rebeca Zimmermann Copyeditor Elaine Engstrom, Cartoonist Scott McCullar Graphic Artist Pam Starasinic Photographers David Fisher, Jorge Casari, Ronald W. Emerson, Octavio Garcia, Michael D. Johnson, Irene Mees, John Ryan, Robert Snider Editorial Policy The Battalion is a non-profit, self-supporting news paper operated as a community service to Texas A&M University and Bryan-Collcge Station. Opinions ex pressed in The Battalion arc those of the editor or the author, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Texas A&M University administrators or faculty mem bers, or of the Board of Regents. The Battalion also serves as a laboratory newspaper for students in reporting, editing and photography clas ses within the Department of Communications. Questions or comments concerning any editorial matter should be directed to the editor. Letters Policy Letters to the Editor should not exceed 300 words in length, and are subject to being cut if they are longer. The editorial staff reserves the right to edit letters for style and length, but will make every effort to maintain the author’s intent. Each letter must also be signed and show the address and phone number of the writer. Columns and guest editorials are also welcome, and are not subject to the same length constraints as letters. Address all inquiries and correspondence to: Editor, The Battalion, 216 Reed McDonald, Texas A&M Uni versity, College Station, TX 77843, or phone (713) 845- 2611. The Battalion is published daily during Texas A&M's fall and spring semesters, except for holiday and exami nation periods. Mail subscriptions are $16.75 per semes ter, $33.25 per school year and $35 per full year. Adver tising rates furnished on request. Our address: The Battalion, 216 Reed McDonald Building, Texas A&M University, College Station, TX 77843. United Press International is entitled exclusively to the use for reproduction of all news dispatches credited to it. Rights of reproduction of all other matter herein reserved. Second class postage paid at College Station, TX 77843. Big spenders squash Dream T by Art Buchwald “Okay, Sir, here is your quiz for ihe next stop. The people are mad as hell out there because they have an 18 percent unemployment rate. Where does your heart go?” “Out to them. As long as one person in this country is jobless, 1 will not be satis fied.” ,“Good. Who is to blame for the high unemployment rate?” “There is enough blame to go around for everybody. But we are at least doing something about it, unlike those big spenders in Congress who got us into this mess in the first place.” “Where is the recession?” “It’s bottomed out, and we are recov ery-bound, thanks to lower interest rates, lower inflation and confidence by the people on Wall Street who are willing to back our programs by investing in the great American f ree enterprise system." “What must we avoid to get people back to work again?” “A quick fix, which may temporarily put people back to work, but will never solve the severe economic problems that I inherited from an irresponsible opposi tion party that has been on a drunken spending binge for four decades.” “Why did they spend this money?" “Because it wasn’t theirs, li was the American taxpayers'." “What do you believe in more titan anything else?” “ The American dream.” “And how can we achieve the Amer ican dream?" “By staying on the course which I have set, and by passing a constitutional amendment guaranteeing a balanced budget which will permit us to live within our means.” “Who is preventing us from having a balanced budget?" “A small group of selfish men in Con gress who are willing to sell our bin bright to satisfy t he greedy pressure groups who feel the federal government must solve all their problems." “What will put people back to work.' “My tax program which encourages business to invest in new plants, expand production and give theconsumei more money in his pocket to spend on goods." “What have you done to address the double-digit unemployment rate?” “I have just signed a job-training bill which will make it possible for a million people to learn new trades and skills to prepare them for the prosperity which is just over the horizon.” “What will they have to do until they find a job?” “Show patience and fotcbcaiante. I can't turn around overnight what the opposition has done in the past It) years to put the country in the shape it is in today." ^^TIownnuToftheunemplovment^^in^ .... H by Tom the coumn are you willing to iH . 1 ^ W Battalion 1 blame for.' vr recent poj “When I came into office H j eintinue, it wou’i percent. Now it’s 10.1 percentij®xas passes Ne ing to take the blame for2.6pen tines the secom Can 1 read a letter from a country, ad m Madison, Wisconsin?” V 11 ' ■ Dr. R.I.. Skra gy professor he 1< plans "Sm e, go ahead.” 'Deal Mr. President: ‘M\ father doesn’t have neilhei does my molher. Builf one .of those who inarches toll beat of doom and gloom. 1 lw| sour fault that the darkdoudoi plo\ meut lies over the land.Pica let Congress spend any morem wasteful pingr.tins (lull willonliB by Connie us to big spending and biguvS Battalion r double-digit inflation which taHfexas A&M l i lie pounding economichangow ^f m . povei nine it a is now suffering. « y Group anc lea lers will be u Siimcd. Donm Schnuddli®'T T l u “ da >' ,llc "And ulial dovnusavtoS , UWAs part of die i I say. Donny, I hear you.lootJ th £ Assoc j at j you were old enough to vote. Sndents, the g “\\ ell, that takescareofthe alending the v meut issue. One more questionai da :s’ victory celt we ll let vou take a nap. WhatdiBThe group, f t come It) Washington to pbyp Hthe Student S Pans pi »lu it s. .is usual. And® 1 ' '" l l’ 11 all. I did not come here to fimhi®^ s llUcl esls 1 gage die f uture of the American« Studenl lea(le] just to buy a short-term political^ Fred Bi u ing ii\. In sweeping our problems^ table.” HJnive to Uni M AS 1 I by Angi Battalion 1 Vith one week to go, Texas A& ; hallway to its SI Way goal. ■ Dr. Malon Sou lam vice preside smites. said i ■)uld reach its y ■ “I feel that we outstanding begi dk period to the said. "The key t this nature will I iftgefforts by all < assisting, and in individuals wht plans to particip. gill." JSo far, Texas letted $51,260.: have been surp oils, Southerlaiu lege of Business \fVfU wrrfrp F&wv/tes M ITS IN THE MAIL f I I Letters: Corps foundation of A&M Editor: In defense of art In response to Bill Robinson’s article referring to the “immaturity of the Corps”, perhaps “Mr. Mature and Com mitted” would be interested in a few additional facts — not biased opinion. The Corps scholastic average is higher than the overall Texas A&M University average. The Corps is the foundation of our University, upholding honor, integ rity and pride. In addition to being the mainstay of many respected traditions — Bonfire, Ross Volunteers, Silver Taps — most cadets are actively involved in every phase of campus life from student gov ernment to hospitality. In my opinion, the Corps turns boys into responsible, well-mannered, well- disciplined gentlemen, which Bill Robin son obviously is not. It is said that achiev ers need to set their own goals, so in the future Mr. Robinson, rather than setting our goals for us so we can ultimately be come the “Cambridge of the South”, pefhaps you should be so kind as to let each set their own goals. After all, why can’t Cambridge someday be the “Texas A&M of the East“? Editor: Today, there exists a battle wherein a basic and critical issue is being brought to the forefront of newsmaking propor tions. This issue is whether or not an au thor, artist, student of originality or other such creator has the right of determina tion for his/her work. Peripheral elements in the battle are such issues as integrity, special interest bodies, academic purity and the interface of all of these elements. The battle I have reference to is that of Maya Ying Lin, a student of Architecture at a noted American University who’s de sign for the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, D.C. was selected l or con struction. This student has been sudden ly thrust into the mainstream of reality wherein she must consider and come to grips with the peripheral elements, plus others, which I have mentioned above. Her ethnic origins have been men tioned, by some small thinkinjl without mention of the lad tlr people of that same origin were® in the conflict for which theMeiif being constructed. A courageous defender cept, Ms. Lin has presented herp phy and, at least publicly,has-iiolj upon the fact that herdesignwaii upon standard, accepted and competition guidelines, alt hough f ar too few, have pm fended her right of authorship^ termination but yet are ready li promise her stand and legitinrfl tion. In the interest of the issues*] perceive to be present in this in* invite your investigation of the pi ings, as students and educators,! take a position in support of ihl elements. He* Vc t ( John fI Assistant Ptf Department of Environmental i Angie Scruggs ’85 Hiding behind rhetoric Editor: I have a question for Mr. Bill Robin son: Mr. Robinson, your indictments against the Corps are very explicit in your October 26 article. What I’m interested in is exactly what action you deem neces sary to correct the situation. Your calls for change are both obscure and easy to hide behind. I would be interested in lis tening to your suggestions, not your vague rhetoric. Frank Knickerbocker 306 Redmund Berry’s World by Jim Ber| Speciu Al moi T, *1 It ©1982 by NEA. Inc. “Your ignorance is a big turn-off, but your arro gance is utterly fascinating!’’